I'm sad (about a girl) - just need to tell someone.

[Z-Knight]

I'm sorry that I am posting this thread but I just need to tell someone because I am so sad today.

I've been chatting with a girl online for a few days and it was going great. We had so much in common and we made each other laugh. It was great and I really fell for her. On Thursday I got the courage to ask her out after another great conversation and she said yes - we were to meet this Tuesday. Today, I come back from church and I get a message that "she is sorry, but having started a new job (professor - first semester) and the work load she has, she can't have a social life, and wished me the best". That's it - she ended it just like that. She didn't even give me a chance to meet her. She's not even responding any more, yet still has a profile up.

I am 42 years old - and a I've never been in a relationship. NEVER. Many of you have seen me before so it might not be much of a surprise to you. A large reason for my lack of relationship is my shyness and the fact that I always feared that I would die early - my father died from a heart attack at 36. I never thought I make it past his age so I never tried to get a relationship. That changed a couple of years ago when I started getting in shape and running.

Running saved my life. Running is my life. I don't ever want to run again.

 

[FFigawi]

Sorry to hear this.

 

[bumbershoot]

I'm sorry.

Put your running clothes on and go for a mile. Just do it.

Both of my grandfathers died of massive heart attacks in their 50s. None of their kids did the same. I'm sorry your dad's early death did such a number on you.

Now go for a run.

And try to not get so hooked on someone before you actually meet them, ok? And then still get to know them. Way back in the dark ages my husband met someone online, they met and married FAST, and within 6 months she was scamming him and creating tens of thousands of dollars in cc debt on his cards.

Get to know someone irl before giving your heart to that extent.

Now go for a run.

 

[BuckeyeBama]

Really sorry to hear this. No advice, just sending positive vibes.

 

[OldSlowGoofyGuy]

I'm sorry that I am posting this thread but I just need to tell someone because I am so sad today.

I'm sorry. I wish I had some wise words, but I don't. So these words will have to do: Hang in there. If running saved your life, don't turn your back on it.

 

[mrsg00fy]

I'm sorry. I wish I had some wise words, but I don't. So these words will have to do: Hang in there. If running saved your life, don't turn your back on it.

I am so sorry you experienced this. I will echo @OldSlowGoofyGuy. Hang in there.

I am sending you hugs and best thoughts. As a fellow introvert/shy one, I know it is not easy.

 

[Party.Of.4-NY>>>FL]

I'm sorry to hear this. I can understand why this is such a disappointment for you. While there's nothing wrong with being sad, there IS something wrong with staying sad. So get over it......quickly! Shake it off man!

True story:

I have a close friend, let's call him Ralph. Ralph has always been an intelligent, funny, and handsome guy. Like you, Ralph was never in any relationships. He never had a girlfriend in junior high school or high school. No girlfriend in college. After college he landed a job with a successful company. Everything was falling into place career-wise. Still no girlfriend and no prospects for a relationship on the horizon. Those of us that know him wanted so badly to see him bring a date to one of the many gatherings we would attend together....still nothing. As everyone he knew began to get married Ralph would go to their weddings...dateless. When his friends began to have children, Ralph would be one of the first to show up at the hospital with a stuffed animal under his arm....still alone.

Fast forward 20 years. Ralph is now about 45 and I just recently had the privledge of attending his wedding. If I told you the woman he met and went on to marry is kind, intelligent, beautiful, and funny it would be an understatement. Seriously, she is a one-in-a-million kind of woman.
>Edit in case my wife is stalking me on here: She is a two-in-a-million kind of woman.

Some of us now joke with Ralph. While we spent year after year down in the trenches of the dating scene enduring bad first date after bad first date. Crazy ex girl/boyfriend after crazy ex girl/boyfriend. He pulls an ace from the deck on his first try. Not fair. Not fair at all!


It may not seem like it right now, but there is a reason for this. When you someday realize why this has happened, you will be thankful it did.

Just keep swimming....er....I mean running!

 

[Shanti]

I'm sorry that I am posting this thread but I just need to tell someone because I am so sad today.

I've been chatting with a girl online for a few days and it was going great. We had so much in common and we made each other laugh. It was great and I really fell for her. On Thursday I got the courage to ask her out after another great conversation and she said yes - we were to meet this Tuesday. Today, I come back from church and I get a message that "she is sorry, but having started a new job (professor - first semester) and the work load she has, she can't have a social life, and wished me the best". That's it - she ended it just like that. She didn't even give me a chance to meet her. She's not even responding any more, yet still has a profile up.

I am 42 years old - and a I've never been in a relationship. NEVER. Many of you have seen me before so it might not be much of a surprise to you. A large reason for my lack of relationship is my shyness and the fact that I always feared that I would die early - my father died from a heart attack at 36. I never thought I make it past his age so I never tried to get a relationship. That changed a couple of years ago when I started getting in shape and running.

Running saved my life. Running is my life. I don't ever want to run again.

I think you might benefit from some therapy to get some perspective on what's going on in your life, and some help in improving things. It's nothing to be ashamed of: you sound very nice and we all need help from time to time. You do seem to need help to keep yourself safe and make the most of your life. Since you've never had a relationship by age 42, and this is not due to lack of desire, you must admit that you haven't been able to solve the problems yourself. Get help. May God bless you and I wish you the best.

 

[Keels]

Awwww, man. That stinks to leave you out in the cold after that kind of brush-off. I mean, we all have things in our lives and sometimes we aren't in the place where we need to be personally to be able to make the most of an opportunity (be it a relationship, or a job or basically anything else that happens in life). But don't let this stop you from doing what you LOVE - just channel your emotions back into running and keep looking for the next opportunity.

To echo @Party.Of.4-NY>>>FL - I have a similar story to share! Right before I was married in 2007, my youngest aunt (she was 46 at the time) began dating a new guy who she had been set-up with by my cousin. She was about to turn 47, had never been married and had pretty much given up on finding a partner that shared her interests, what she wanted in life (own her own business, travel extensively, enjoy foodie experiences, etc.). They were married in May of 2008 - and it's like they were essentially created for each other. They were both in their late 40s, they both never married ... they went on to open their own interior decorating firm and now they do interior decorating/staging for movies and TV. They are constantly traveling (they just finished hiking Macchu Pichu for the THIRD TIME last month!) and they are just enjoying life with each other each and every day. They go out to dinner, they are ALWAYS taking dance lessons and are total pros on the dance floor at weddings and parties.

So, don't give up hope. There's a greater plan for all of us out there, and while the timeline may not be what we want it to be, the payoff is almost always worth it.

 

[JulieODC]

I’m so sorry @Z-Knight - that just plain sucks. But I agree with the others - hang in there, and whatever happens, keep running.

 

[kbenson13]

When my wife left me a year and a half ago, I was very down in the dumps. Getting therapy to help me work through those emotions helped a TON and I have become a big advocate for having a therapist. Exercise (running/swimming) also helped quite a bit. The other thing that was incredibly helpful was just talking about it. It was brave of you to post this, but good to. Getting it off your chest and knowing that people out there can both sympathize and empathize with you is vitally important in recognizing you're not alone. Hang in there and keep talking (and running!).

 

[Happiest.Haunt_999]

I'm sorry that I am posting this thread but I just need to tell someone because I am so sad today.

I've been chatting with a girl online for a few days and it was going great. We had so much in common and we made each other laugh. It was great and I really fell for her. On Thursday I got the courage to ask her out after another great conversation and she said yes - we were to meet this Tuesday. Today, I come back from church and I get a message that "she is sorry, but having started a new job (professor - first semester) and the work load she has, she can't have a social life, and wished me the best". That's it - she ended it just like that. She didn't even give me a chance to meet her. She's not even responding any more, yet still has a profile up.

I am 42 years old - and a I've never been in a relationship. NEVER. Many of you have seen me before so it might not be much of a surprise to you. A large reason for my lack of relationship is my shyness and the fact that I always feared that I would die early - my father died from a heart attack at 36. I never thought I make it past his age so I never tried to get a relationship. That changed a couple of years ago when I started getting in shape and running.

Running saved my life. Running is my life. I don't ever want to run again.

I'm sorry to hear this happened. You sound like a great person and try not to get too down on yourself, ok? If you love to run, maybe go for a run and it may help.

 

[Disney at Heart]

You've gotten a lot of good advice. I'll just add that this may not have been Ms. Right anyway. Hang in there and keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other!

 

[Kay123456]

Maybe she is one of those catfishing people. You never know... hope you have better luck in the future and like many people said, a good long run will make you feel better.

 

[hotblooded]

Online dating is a numbers game. Message tons of people and you'll soon realize that seemingly instantaneous connections are common, yet fleeting. It's possible that a few days of conversation meant WAY more to you than it did to her. You're mourning the loss of potential, and not her, because you don't even know her. You're giving a stranger a lot of power. The more people you chat with, the less rejection you'll feel when things fizzle out. Keep trying, though you may realize it's not for you.

 

[Keels]

Just a thought ... have you checked out the DisneySingles group?? They were even at Marathon Weekend -- they set up a table at WWoS to support runners and were handing out refreshments (they gave me a breakfast taco!). It could be a way to find someone with a like-mind like you, that enjoys the same non-work pursuits (like running) and might be someone you can do your next Dopey Challenge with!

 

[DVCFan1994]

I have no better advice than those who already responded, but wanted to say I’m sorry this happened. Don’t let your sadness and disappointment about this woman ruin your love for running, get out there and run. It will most likely clear your head and lift your spirits!