In Your Culture, Is Being On Time Important?


Interesting that the article mentions trains. I got on a train in Osaka, headed for Kashiwazaki, and between my broken Japanese and the railroad guy's broken English, I tried to explain to him that I didn't know how to tell I'd arrived in Kashiwazaki. He kept repeating, "The train arrives in Kashiwazaki at 0605." Finally it dawned on me what he was saying: if the train stops and it's 0605, that means the train is in Kashiwazaki. Because that's how Japanese trains work.

Took me a hard time to understand that. I've ridden on Amtrak; if the train is scheduled to arrive in Chicago at 0605, that means it might be there by 0900.
 
I like to be on-time, and thankfully so does DH. If we have friends over for a meal, or the family at holidays, etc. I might say something like "come anytime after XX:XX" and "the meal will be served at XX:XX."
I will generally wait 10-15 minutes if someone is late, but longer than that and I put it on the table and we begin. I'm not going to make everyone else wait for one person that's late. Most of our family/friends are pretty on-time too. It would be hard for me to attend a function like the OP mentioned, where the meal was supposed to be served at a certain time but it was almost 3 hours later. I'm diabetic and that wouldn't be good for me.

We used to be good friends with another couple, and they were notoriously late. For everything. They actually set their clocks ahead 15-minutes to "help" them not be late. Just to go out to eat together, or have them come over, etc. it wasn't that much of a big deal. But if we went to a movie together I hated it. We like to get there early, to have plenty of time to get popcorn and choose our seats. With them we were always arriving when the theater was dark and we were trying to find seats. So annoying.

As far as medical appointments I like to be early. At least 15-minutes, sometimes more. I take Coumadin so have that checked monthly and if I've been out running errands before the appointment I've been known to get there 30-minutes early. Most times they can see me early too, but even if they can't I don't mind waiting. I'd rather be early for things like that than late.
 
Interesting that the article mentions trains. I got on a train in Osaka, headed for Kashiwazaki, and between my broken Japanese and the railroad guy's broken English, I tried to explain to him that I didn't know how to tell I'd arrived in Kashiwazaki. He kept repeating, "The train arrives in Kashiwazaki at 0605." Finally it dawned on me what he was saying: if the train stops and it's 0605, that means the train is in Kashiwazaki. Because that's how Japanese trains work.

Took me a hard time to understand that. I've ridden on Amtrak; if the train is scheduled to arrive in Chicago at 0605, that means it might be there by 0900.
Next time you have 45 minutes to spare, watch this. I never imagined a documentary about a train station could be so fascinating.


For those who think cultural attitudes don't affect things like punctuality, I encourage you to widen your circle, diversify your relationships. Even neighborhoods within the same city can seem worlds apart, culturally speaking.

In a similar vein, customer service is something that varies wildly based on cultural attitudes. American norms are considered uptight by other cultures (Latin America, U.K., Australia come to mind IME), but Japanese standards make us look lazy and apathetic by comparison. It's all relative, and I'm sure most people believe their norms are the "right" way of doing things.
 
In a similar vein, customer service is something that varies wildly based on cultural attitudes. American norms are considered uptight by other cultures (Latin America, U.K., Australia come to mind IME), but Japanese standards make us look lazy and apathetic by comparison. It's all relative, and I'm sure most people believe their norms are the "right" way of doing things.

I've been around Europe, decades ago. I noticed that, in Spain, ask for a beer and the bartender will run to get it for you. In Paris, the bartender will just give you dirty looks.
 


I've been around Europe, decades ago. I noticed that, in Spain, ask for a beer and the bartender will run to get it for you. In Paris, the bartender will just give you dirty looks.

Maybe in the olden days? The cafes are teeming with beer drinking Parisians now.
 
I've been around Europe, decades ago. I noticed that, in Spain, ask for a beer and the bartender will run to get it for you. In Paris, the bartender will just give you dirty looks.
:lmao:

This reminds me of a French waiter we had in Ireland once. We were young and uncultured and, having read the menu, dared to ask, "What is a terrine?" He was thoroughly disgusted with us. He scrunched up his face and dismissively waved his hand about while repeating, "A terrine is a terrine. It's a terrine." I'm sure he spit in our terrine. :teeth:
 
If there's some socially acceptable time to show up that's fine as long as I know what it is. If I'm thinking there's going to be food at a fixed time I will plan for that, I'd get hangry if food was hours later than what I had planned for. The hosts can do whatever they want, I just want to know ahead of time.
 


Next time you have 45 minutes to spare, watch this. I never imagined a documentary about a train station could be so fascinating.


For those who think cultural attitudes don't affect things like punctuality, I encourage you to widen your circle, diversify your relationships. Even neighborhoods within the same city can seem worlds apart, culturally speaking.

In a similar vein, customer service is something that varies wildly based on cultural attitudes. American norms are considered uptight by other cultures (Latin America, U.K., Australia come to mind IME), but Japanese standards make us look lazy and apathetic by comparison. It's all relative, and I'm sure most people believe their norms are the "right" way of doing things.

All I can say is as a punctual person who loves punctuality and adhering to rules, I *loved* the 4 years I lived in Japan. And riding the trains and subway is wonderful.
 
If I'm the cook, everybody had better be on time (or very good excuse) because I serve my food at the time stated - it's not meant to sit afterwards to wait on the tardy!

Actually, don't think I've ever had that problem! We've lived in several different states because of dh's job transfers, and never met a 'culture' that didn't show up on time. No matter what people do on a personal basis, the ones we have invited to our home have been respectful enough to show up on time. I don't want my meals ruined by being kept waiting after the effort we put in.
 
When I host family gatherings and I say we'll eat at 1pm, we will be sitting down to eat at 1pm and everyone knows it. If my SIL is hosting the gathering, we all know she has no concept of time, so if she says we'll eat at 1pm, that means hopefully, we'll be eating by 3pm. :rolleyes:
 
I have never given nor have gotten a time that meal would be served. Just a start time. It is usually at least 1 to 2 hours later when the meal is served. Apps and drinks are for when people arrive. My niece is always late and never makes it in time for apps. Lol
 
Texas Hold Em is a game, not a town. I was talking about the game being played in a town in Missouri.

I stand corrected. For some reason I assumed that the OP was in the state of Texas. Let me try again. I still do not understand the question. The OP is citing a specific case of card players in a town in Missouri. Perhaps it would be more helpful to state what the OP's 'culture' is before asking others to define theirs? Is this simply a question for people who play cards? Or is it asking about other cities and states in the US?
 
For a dinner, I def will be there on time. If the host says dinner at 6pm, we will be there before 6pm! However, I do often notice that the host does not have dinner ready on time most of the time. Nothing is more annoying than expecting to eat at 6pm and you get there and the dinner hasn’t even been cooked yet. Then you aren’t eating until 8

Well, they can't have dinner ready exactly at 6 because they know that everyone is going to show up late :upsidedow

This is actually something I had to learn right after getting married when I ruined expensive meals twice because I had planned for the exact time but the guests showed up significantly late.

I now have the meal started and cooked to a stage where it will be ready to eat within 30min. I do have drinks and appetizers set out 10 minutes before the "start time" so people can snack immediately if they arrived hungry.
 
If a meal at someone's home is involved I would never expect to eat at that time. We normally socialize, have a drink and appetizers for an hour or so. I'm always a little early for appointments. However I would never show up to someone's house early.
 
For casual events, like BBQ's, everyone where I live arrives late. If the invite says 12, no one shows up before 12:30. And then no one expects the main meal before 1:30-2. But lots of apps & drinks are served. The whole "daughter saying prayers" definitely doesn't happen here.

For night time parties, people usually just arrive when they can. If kids are invited, people tend to show up on time, if not, then they often have to wait till their kids are asleep or the sitter arrives. We usually socialize with a close knit group of about 20 families though so no one gets offended if someone is 'late". Doesn't even cross our minds.

If we are going to a social event where we won't know many people I like to show up a little late so hopefully the people that we do know will already there. But that's just some social anxiety I have, I don't love talking to strangers or feeling like everyone knows each other but me. And nobody around here shows up early for a house party, that would be considered rude.

Appointments are a completely different thing & I do try to be on time for those.
 
It is not cultural, its just some people are rude and some people are not. I had a friend that was late for everything- going to the movies "I'll pick you up at 7"- 730 rolls around and she just pulled up- and if I was picking her up I would be sitting in the driveway for 30 minutes waiting! Ended that friendship, I just can't handle someone that is that self centered and rude.
 
I think for some people they are just really bad at time math.

My neighbor will often go grocery shopping 10 minutes before needing to be somewhere else and be shocked that going to the store, grabbing a few things, and getting back home took more like 30 minutes then the 5 minutes she planned.

Many people are really bad at estimating how long a task will take or really bad at including all peripheral tasks that also take time as part of the main task.
 
I think for some people they are just really bad at time math...

Many people are really bad at estimating how long a task will take or really bad at including all peripheral tasks that also take time as part of the main task.

This is probably the biggest factor.

There are the occasional people who are truly rude (like my previous boss who genuinely believed that she was more busy and her time more valuable than others so she would purposely keep working up until the time she was already supposed to be somewhere because she didn't want to waste her time waiting in case the other person was late)

But I don't think most people are intentionally rude. They just don't plan or manage their time well.

If I know we are going somewhere at 5pm that takes 10 minutes to drive to, I will tell my family to be ready downstairs by 4:30. Because inevitably one kid comes down at 4:35 and needs to try on three different pairs of shoes, then runs back upstairs to get a sweater, then their sunglasses are mysteriously not in the basket, then someone notices the dogs have no water, etc.
 
And do people just stand around and wait hours for their deposit receipt? Or sit in their car for 2 hours and wait for the real estate agent to show up?

How do places like this prosper? Just sounds so lackluster and lazy to me.

I'm not the poster you quoted, but can answer- the customer is also using this time to get a coffeee, see their friend across the bank, go over and have a 20 minute chat with someone they know. It's the social "dance" they know so they come with the right expectations and also enjoy the time to socialize. It's the ex-pats who are used to something else that think it's rude-while the locals think "why is he being so rude and trying to rush me/glare at me".

The whole point is that there are very few absolute norms of what is rude-generally it's defined by the expectations of the culture.
 
I grew up in a family that is habitually late. My parents to this day will bicker about which one of them makes them late, but in any case, they always are. DH is annoyingly early, which I can't stand. On time, fine but don't be early. Over the years, we've reached a point where I can be on time, but he is still always standing at the bottom of the stairs ten minutes before we have to leave asking if I'm ready yet.

I don't think it is cultural.....maybe regional, maybe generational.
I am always on time and expect others to be, but they usually aren't
My kids' friends are never on time for anything. They don't like planning either

Ahhh, lack of planning!!! Main peeve of mine with three teenagers in the house. Two of mine and one extra. Drives me completely batty. Last minute requests for rides here, there and everywhere. Because no one thinks ahead to where they have to be and when, or at the last minute the friends house they were going to hang out at is now off limits (friend never asked their parents until last minute and parent says no) and they now need a ride to the next town.

I think for some people they are just really bad at time math.

My neighbor will often go grocery shopping 10 minutes before needing to be somewhere else and be shocked that going to the store, grabbing a few things, and getting back home took more like 30 minutes then the 5 minutes she planned.

Many people are really bad at estimating how long a task will take or really bad at including all peripheral tasks that also take time as part of the main task.

Yessssssss! My daughter is horrible at this. She crams three meetings with friends into two hours at three separate places and can't figure out why she ends up late for two of them. Same with getting ready. She knows it takes her 90 minutes to get ready to go anywhere o_O but allows herself 60.
 

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