Inviting my in-laws - where to put them?

[kiford]

We were upgraded once to a family stateroom (there's just two of us) and we really didn't need the extra space. We just stick with a verandah cabin. Having them a little ways down the hall might make them feel like there was more privacy. I know that you don't need to open the connecting doors, but they might feel like they have to whereas a room down the hall might feel like it gives them a bit more space. I don't know if it's less expensive than a family OV or not, but my personal experience is that the amount of space for two people isn't really needed and having the balcony could be really nice for evenings alone.

 

[disneyholic family]

i'll add that if the room next to you is still available at this late date it must have been meant to be. Book that room!!

 

[DisneyPiPhi]

We have had connecting rooms with my parents on vacations before, and didn't feel that anyone lacked privacy. They enjoyed being able to take DD on outings and come and go from both rooms. For example, one time at Disney, they took her to Hoop-De-Doo Review, then went back to the rooms and put her to bed. DH and I stayed in the parks separately. My dad had had some minor surgery just before that trip, and it was also nice to be close in case they needed anything. All this to say, I like connecting rooms for multi-generation trips.

 

[JMommyof3]

Do your in-laws typically watch the kids? How does that go? For me, I would book the connecting room b/c my parents regularly watch our kids and when we all vacation together, they always offer to watch the kids for a night or 2 so that DH can go out for a quick drink/meal etc. If that's a regular occurrence for you all, then that would be my pick. Also, how would they feel if they were down the hall? Would they feel like you purposefully kept them at a distance (like you want privacy from THEM) or would they not care. I guess it depends what your relationship is like with them.

 

[ahen]

We recently cruised with my daughter and SIL we had side by side veranda rooms. Close that we could talk on the veranda but not connecting. I would put them a buit down the hall, I think that they would really enjoy that.

 

[Lisa F]

Connecting rooms are good. My relationship with my parents is not super close and there are sometimes some tough spots but when we cruised together with their grandson, even though only 4 of us - got connecting rooms. We all had our privacy but we were still "together"

 

[CM Dad]

On our first cruise, we paid for 4 staterooms. My wife and I had a verandah, and we also booked 3 inside cabins across the hall. One for our three adult daughters, one for our son (the youngest traveling at 18) and one of the girls boyfriends (he is now a husband) and the last for my parents and my mother-in-law. Worked out well for us.

We have done a couple of cruises more recently with all of our kids and grandkids (14 or 15 total people) . For my wife's 60th birthday, she and I (along with our son who was then 26 stayed in the Walt suite and we had 3 non-concierge verandah cabin nearby for the other 3 groups. It turns out that they were renovating a bunch of the concierge rooms on the Wonder at that time, and they were just starting to have evening happy hours in one of the bars and they concierge hosts unexpectedly invited us to bring the other family members along to these events. This is the only time we have booked concierge.

The most recent family cruise was more economical. For out 40th anniversary we took the kids and grandkids on a cruise. This time we booked 4 inside cabins. 2 were connecting. Because one of our daughters now has 4 kids, we booked our son in one of the connecting rooms with a couple of the grandsons, and the mom, dad and daughters in the other connecting room.

All of these cruises were great, so I don't think that you can go wrong with any of your choices.

PS My wife has told that kids that for our 50th anniversary we are doing another family cruise, but that this time they will be paying. Gives them another 7 years to save up

 

[Ladybugx87]

I’d opt for the connecting room unless you think they’d love the verandah. I personally like the verandah for private and quiet time and think price difference is minimal.

We took my parents to Alaska with us and absolutely loved having them right next door. We are taking them again this summer and both are guarantee status so I’m hoping we are at least in the same direction of the ship.
Either way have an amazing time.

 

[MomOTwins]

I love all these stories of big family trips together!!! Still trying to decide. Leaning a bit toward connecting because I like the idea of having a close family trip but still not sure. I also wonder if they’d prefer a verandah to relax on, so I may just have to ask them

 

[monkeydawn]

What a wonderful idea to celebrate! Not knowing several important factors, I am going to try to give you a few more things to think about.

I've thankfully never needed chemo for cancer treatment but I do get regular infusions to treat Crohns disease, there are a lot of similarities in the two treatments. How recovered is your MIL's energy level and how dark does she need a room to sleep well? I am a verandah lover but DH and I did a cruise over Christmas and we were going on the cheap so we got an Inside. Let me tell you, it was a wonderfully restful vacation for me. I was able to pop back to the room at any time of the day for a great nap. I truly considered rebooking our upcoming Med cruise suite as an inside after that wonderful experience.

The reason I like a balcony and this might come into play for your MIL as well, is that I pick up bugs pretty easily. Almost every time I have had a balcony a cabin mate has gotten sick and I havent and I attribute that to being able to air out the cabin. I did pick up a mild bug on our Christmas cruise.

Lastly, how close are you in day to day life? My dads parents never lived further than five minutes away. We all were comfortable with connecting rooms since we saw each other at least several times a week. A connecting room with them on a cruise would have been fantastic as they were used to kids coming over and us kids were used to them (their rules, what absolutely not to do, etc.). I guarantee it would have ended in tears if we had ever had connecting rooms with either of my mom's parents. We didnt live close by and just werent used to each other.

I cant say which of these rooms will work best for all of you but hopefully my experiences can help you think about a few things that havent been brought up and you can decide if it will be an important issue.

 

[Chimera72]

We've booked a cruise in May as a family of 5 in a family oceanview room on deck 8. My MIL recently completed her chemo treatments and is doing well, so we decided to invite them on the cruise, at our expense. Given our family size and the approaching PIF date, there is not a lot of room choice left for us, but there is a lot of choice left for their party of 2. We decided to invite my in-laws and I'm torn on how to choose a room. I should say up front, I know it would be cheaper to get two smaller rooms and book one of the kids in their room but we are not willing to impose on them that way--they are private people and I know they would prefer their own room, plus, our kids are a total handful. I also should say I know the obvious answer is "ask them" but I know they would feel awkward and just say to get the least expensive option since we are paying. So I thought I'd pose the question, if you were in their shoes, which of the below options would you prefer?

Option 1: connecting room. I like the idea of a connecting room because it would be easy to coordinate on going to things together, and it gives them exact same room type as us so it is "fair" in that way. I also kind of selfishly like because they might be willing to babysit our kids one night via keeping the connecting door open so DH and I can go out in the evening together after their early bedtime. But is that too close and not respectful enough of their privacy?

Option 2: nearby verandah room. There are verandah rooms available about 10 doors down from ours for about $100 more than the family oceanview. They'd be a bit further away but still reachable. The room would be smaller than the family oceanview, but would have a verandah, so I'm not sure which is generally more preferable (I don't really view verandahs as an upgrade personally--which is why I booked us oceanview--but they are more expensive which suggests others do like them better).

Option 3: inside room right across from us. There is an inside room right across the hallway from us for about $400 less than the other two options. I like that they'd be right there so we can more easily leave together for activities, but the inside room would definitely be smaller and I wouldn't want them to feel slighted. On the other hand, being just two people, maybe an inside room wouldn't feel cramped, and it is on the Dream so has those magic porthole things.

I’m planning a similar idea. I agree with the other post. Put kids in their room. They are getting the FAMILY vacation for free

 

[Bella29]

I think there is no wrong choice here, it just depends on how you / your in-laws want to spend your vacation

My family of four has cruised on different occasions with my Dad and step-Mom / my mother / my MIL & FIL. Both my mother and my in-laws prefer to have a connecting cabin. Spending time together just happens more naturally then. Their intention for the trip was basically doing various things with us (or just the kids, or sometimes just one kid) the majority of the time. My MIL has complained to me that when she went on a cruise with her other son's family, she had her own non-connecting cabin and she felt she spent a lot of time alone and didn't see them as much as she wanted.

My Dad and Step-mom booked their stateroom on a different floor. They wanted to have dinner together each evening, but during the day only did a few things with us at certain planned times, then go their separate way the rest of the time. They would have been overwhelmed spending all day, 7 days with us.

As others have mentioned, you can't beat the connecting rooms for evening babysitting!

 

[lorenni]

When we took my parents we booked connecting staterooms. But my mom has no problem closing the door when she wants her quiet/space. And I did not make a habit of going into their room. Our son knew that if the doors were open he could go into Nana’s room whenever he wanted. They did offer to babysit on a few evenings and we took them up on it. Other evenings I stayed in and they went with DH to the pubs to play trivia. DS did sleep in their room once, I think, but not because we went out. Just for the novelty of “staying over”.

If your MIL is not good with her own boundaries, then it will be up to you to make sure that door is closed and the grandparents don’t lose their private space. If you don’t think you can do that, then maybe book staterooms close to one another but not connecting.

I would not book them a lesser category room than the room you are staying in.

 

[MomOTwins]

Hi folks, OP here. Thank you all so much for weighing in. I was running searches tonight still torn between the options, but my husband saw me agonizing over the decision and did the sensible thing and called his mother to ask what she would prefer. I told him to suggest the top two contenders from this thread (connecting oceanview or nearby verandah), and she said hands down they'd prefer a connecting room. Closeness to family was the key thing for her.

I am SO EXCITED!!!! This will be our first vacation with them, and I love my in-laws, and I am so glad my kids will get to have this special time with them. We lived in separate parts of the country for a long time and only just moved back to my DH's hometown last year, so the kids and I have not gotten to spend as much time with them as I like. Plus it has been such a hard year, physically, emotionally, and financially for my in-laws due to her cancer treatments--I really hope this trip can be a bit of a silver lining for them.

 

[vegs1]

Hi folks, OP here. Thank you all so much for weighing in. I was running searches tonight still torn between the options, but my husband saw me agonizing over the decision and did the sensible thing and called his mother to ask what she would prefer. I told him to suggest the top two contenders from this thread (connecting oceanview or nearby verandah), and she said hands down they'd prefer a connecting room. Closeness to family was the key thing for her.

I am SO EXCITED!!!! This will be our first vacation with them, and I love my in-laws, and I am so glad my kids will get to have this special time with them. We lived in separate parts of the country for a long time and only just moved back to my DH's hometown last year, so the kids and I have not gotten to spend as much time with them as I like. Plus it has been such a hard year, physically, emotionally, and financially for my in-laws due to her cancer treatments--I really hope this trip can be a bit of a silver lining for them.

That is so wonderful for all of you! I just know you will have the most wonderful trip and it will be such fun for your children.

Kudos to you for the wonderful relationship you have with your in-laws. So many times it’s all negative but there are always two sides to that coin. I loved my in-laws, too so enjoy every minute you have. Happy sailing!

 

[3threebabies]

Hi folks, OP here. Thank you all so much for weighing in. I was running searches tonight still torn between the options, but my husband saw me agonizing over the decision and did the sensible thing and called his mother to ask what she would prefer. I told him to suggest the top two contenders from this thread (connecting oceanview or nearby verandah), and she said hands down they'd prefer a connecting room. Closeness to family was the key thing for her.

I am SO EXCITED!!!! This will be our first vacation with them, and I love my in-laws, and I am so glad my kids will get to have this special time with them. We lived in separate parts of the country for a long time and only just moved back to my DH's hometown last year, so the kids and I have not gotten to spend as much time with them as I like. Plus it has been such a hard year, physically, emotionally, and financially for my in-laws due to her cancer treatments--I really hope this trip can be a bit of a silver lining for them.

I am pretty sure this cruise will be great for all 7 of you. Involving your in-laws in the decision, and having them pick your preferred option, is an excellent omen! I wish for a fantastic vacation for all.

We did the reverse. We took my parents to WDW after I finished chemo. They spent many hours on interstates back and forth, nights on my sofa and getting my 1st grade son ready for school in the year and a half of my surgeries and chemo. It was a thank you and celebration in one. We stayed in a Kidani 1br; they got the sofa. My mother hates FL, and I knew this would probably be the only opportunity they had for their only grandchild to see Mickey and friends. It was a fantastic trip. The 2nd bath made a big difference, and all that space and a door truly is the best of both worlds. I know it isn’t exactly the same in several ways, but it is a wonderful memory we all five cherish.

 

[Aurora55]

I'm going to vote for the connecting room because that is amazing!! A connecting room is so nice. When my family has a connecting room we are happier and can talk about the next day and what we want to do.

My second choice is the inside across the hall. Inside rooms are really great. The porthole is so much fun and such a surprise when the characters come across it. My family has an inside for our up coming cruise and I'm super excited for it!!!

Any cruise my your family is a good cruise!! Have fun and enjoy your time together!!

 

[MomOTwins]

Thanks all! Slight update: in a classic "you snooze, you lose" lesson, our connecting room was no longer available when I called to book it this morning (grr--it was showing up last night!), so we ended up upgrading both cabins to family verandahs. The sticker shock spooked me a bit at first, but I'm going to comb through my post-cruise park stay to trim back on some of the extras there and get back to the original budget. It'll probably be the only big family trip we get to take like this, so going to make it work!

 

[lorenni]

Thanks all! Slight update: in a classic "you snooze, you lose" lesson, our connecting room was no longer available when I called to book it this morning (grr--it was showing up last night!), so we ended up upgrading both cabins to family verandahs. The sticker shock spooked me a bit at first, but I'm going to comb through my post-cruise park stay to trim back on some of the extras there and get back to the original budget. It'll probably be the only big family trip we get to take like this, so going to make it work!

Every time we plan something like this we now ask ourselves “in 10/20/30 years will we regret having spent the extra 1,000/2,000/etc?” And the answer is always NO. Make the memories.

 

[3threebabies]

Thanks all! Slight update: in a classic "you snooze, you lose" lesson, our connecting room was no longer available when I called to book it this morning (grr--it was showing up last night!), so we ended up upgrading both cabins to family verandahs. The sticker shock spooked me a bit at first, but I'm going to comb through my post-cruise park stay to trim back on some of the extras there and get back to the original budget. It'll probably be the only big family trip we get to take like this, so going to make it work!

You are investing in memories. I am so happy for your family.