iPhone Teenager

[2China2009]

This would be my daughter’s 3rd and final phone from me. She wants I phone as she now has an android. I can not support her in this decision financially, because I do not believe in spending so much money for 1. I will be giving her $100 towards it for her big Xmas gift. She does not have a job and she spends money like it is growing on the tree’s. I told her she would need to get a job turning 16 in feb and fund the rest of it. BUT here is the bottom line. I did not raise my children to spend tons of money on name brand shoes and clothes. I am frugal by choice so I do not know if I should just butt out or try and convince her otherwise. I would be paying the bill every month and she is going to buy it outright not tacked onto the monthly bill to make payments. Any advice on what to do?

 

[wgeo]

This would be my daughter’s 3rd and final phone from me. She wants I phone as she now has an android. I can not support her in this decision financially, because I do not believe in spending so much money for 1. I will be giving her $100 towards it for her big Xmas gift. She does not have a job and she spends money like it is growing on the tree’s. I told her she would need to get a job turning 16 in feb and fund the rest of it. BUT here is the bottom line. I did not raise my children to spend tons of money on name brand shoes and clothes. I am frugal by choice so I do not know if I should just butt out or try and convince her otherwise. I would be paying the bill every month and she is going to buy it outright not tacked onto the monthly bill to make payments. Any advice on what to do?

I wouldn't stress about this too much ahead of time. If you are offering her $100 toward the phone and then requiring her to get a job to fund the rest of the purchase, just let it play out. If she gets a job and sees how many hours of work it takes to get her phone and she still wants it and works enough hours to get the money, then let her buy it - she earned it. And if she gets the job and realizes that she doesn't want to work that many hours for a phone, then consider it a lesson learned. Either way, she's learning a lot about money and work.

 

[Welsh_Dragon]

I think that your daughter is going to have to work quite a lot of hours to make up the difference between your kind gift and the full cost of an iPhone. Sit back, let her earn the money and then respect her decision if she decides to go ahead and make the purchase. I don’t believe in attaching conditions to gifts.

 

[2China2009]

I so agree with the above comments. I will just chill for now. Thank you.

 

[wenrob]

I wouldn't stress about this too much ahead of time. If you are offering her $100 toward the phone and then requiring her to get a job to fund the rest of the purchase, just let it play out. If she gets a job and sees how many hours of work it takes to get her phone and she still wants it and works enough hours to get the money, then let her buy it - she earned it. And if she gets the job and realizes that she doesn't want to work that many hours for a phone, then consider it a lesson learned. Either way, she's learning a lot about money and work.

I think that your daughter is going to have to work quite a lot of hours to make up the difference between your kind gift and the full cost of an iPhone. Sit back, let her earn the money and then respect her decision if she decides to go ahead and make the purchase. I don’t believe in attaching conditions to gifts.

Both of these. If she earns the money and is willing to pay for it then I think it’s okay for her to get. She’ll figure out if it’s worth it or not.

 

[sam_gordon]

This would be my daughter’s 3rd and final phone from me. She wants I phone as she now has an android. I can not support her in this decision financially, because I do not believe in spending so much money for 1. I will be giving her $100 towards it for her big Xmas gift. She does not have a job and she spends money like it is growing on the tree’s. I told her she would need to get a job turning 16 in feb and fund the rest of it. BUT here is the bottom line. I did not raise my children to spend tons of money on name brand shoes and clothes. I am frugal by choice so I do not know if I should just butt out or try and convince her otherwise. I would be paying the bill every month and she is going to buy it outright not tacked onto the monthly bill to make payments. Any advice on what to do?

So you're wondering if you should tell her she's not allowed to spend the money she's earned & saved on something she wants? You can, but why? Give her the $100 and let her know as soon as she saves enough, she can buy an iPhone and you'll add it to the account. You can get an iPhone 6 on Amazon for $167. So depending on how much she wants an iPhone, she may not have to work very hard.

 

[RamblingMad]

Teenage years are about learning that you don’t get what you want unless you pay for it. Not getting what you want should drive you to figure out a hustle to get it.

I didn’t have first cell phone until I turned 24, so I don’t get kids today glued to it.

 

[Southernmiss]

I'm with you OP. Sounds like daughter needs to learn that $ is not easy to come by.

Phones are used for so much by teens and digital natives.

I get it and I didn't get a cellphone until 25 when I had a baby and dh didn't want us to get stranded.

Like anything, parents can teach phone etiquette and when not to use phones and how to hold in person conversations.

 

[KayaWildfire]

In this case I would but out unless she asks your advice. If she saves for it and earns it, what purpose would it serve to tell her no? Frugal and no name brands is your choice, but not necessarily hers. If she puts in the work for it, she should buy what she wants.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Give her the $100 and let her know as soon as she saves enough, she can buy an iPhone and you'll add it to the account.

If give her a handmade gift certificate for the $100, or an Apple gift card. If she already had the job and some of the money, I'd give her money - but OP says she likes to spend.

You can get an iPhone 6 on Amazon for $167

it'll be $99 at Wal-Mart on Black Friday, service has to be Straight Talk or Total Wireless, but it's been mentioned on the Black Friday thread that the 6 isn't updatable any longer.

 

[theluckyrabbit]

If give her a handmade gift certificate for the $100, or an Apple gift card. If she already had the job and some of the money, I'd give her money - but OP says she likes to spend...

I was just going to say something similar. I wouldn't give a check or cash because it might just get spent on something else -- and then she'll be back asking for more money for that iPhone. If she has a bank account, help her set up a sub account just for the phone (if she wants a newer model, it will cost a lot) so that she can see her savings grow. And if she does manage to achieve this goal, praise her for her hard work!

 

[tcufrog]

I’ve found that when my kids have to pay for something themselves with money they’ve earned they take better care of it and value it more than if it’s just given to them. This may teach her a valuable lesson about responsibility.

 

[indimom]

If she doesn't have a job, where is she getting all the money she spends? Just wondering because it didn't make sense to me. As far as the phone, if you are comfortable giving her money toward the purchase, that seems like a perfect gift to me. But do consider that the money may disappear long before she saves the rest if her money management skills are what you describe. If that will frustrate you, then stay out of the phone purchase altogether and leave it to her to figure out. Give her other gifts for Christmas.

 

[sam_gordon]

If give her a handmade gift certificate for the $100, or an Apple gift card. If she already had the job and some of the money, I'd give her money - but OP says she likes to spend.

I wouldn't give a check or cash because it might just get spent on something else -- and then she'll be back asking for more money for that iPhone.

But that's the whole point. Let her learn how to save for an item. If she decides to spend that money on something else, then it's even longer until she gets the iPhone. If she keeps asking for money, the simple answer is "earn it".

 

[theluckyrabbit]

But that's the whole point. Let her learn how to save for an item. If she decides to spend that money on something else, then it's even longer until she gets the iPhone. If she keeps asking for money, the simple answer is "earn it".

She can still save for her phone with her own money (even better if it's her own money). The gift card is just a nice reminder of her mom's support and an incentive to keep saving on top of that starter amount. If she blows her own money, so be it. But at least she will still have that gift card to start over with if she decides she really wants that phone.

 

[mrodgers]

So you're wondering if you should tell her she's not allowed to spend the money she's earned & saved on something she wants? You can, but why? Give her the $100 and let her know as soon as she saves enough, she can buy an iPhone and you'll add it to the account. You can get an iPhone 6 on Amazon for $167. So depending on how much she wants an iPhone, she may not have to work very hard.

Lived it at that age. There were no iPhones, or any phone that you didn't stretch the cord from mom and dad's room to your room.

Got a job as soon as I was 16. The "but why?" part? Because control. My mother is the most controlling and narcissistic person I know. Gave every penny to her because I had to save. Couldn't spend a dime, I had to save. To this day, she will comment on the cost of everything she knows I've bought and she thinks it's ridiculous, the money should be saved.

I had to ask for my own money for everything. Need gas? Had to ask for my own money. Wanted money for when I'm out with friends and there's a chance of ending up getting something to eat (fast food in those days all the time,) nope, that wasn't approved by her, can't have my own money for that. Want to buy something? Anything? Doesn't matter what it is, nope, not approved by her, can't have my own money.

What I learned when I got out on my own is it's now my money to do as I wish. And I spent. Bought stuff I wanted to buy. Wanted something else and didn't have the money, but would on Friday. Wait, I can buy with a credit card and not pay for it until Friday? The only thing I was taught about money and finances was I can't have it. I suffered greatly in the early days of adulthood and being on my own.

 

[mom2rtk]

My daughter had expensive taste in certain things (clothes, shoes and phones specifically). Our answer was always the same. I'd pay what I thought I was going to pay and she could pay the difference for whatever went above and beyond. She started with a second hand iphone and upgraded to a new iphone a couple years later (that was a long summer working during store closing at Kmart!). But I think it was a great lesson in value. Now that she's in college and has a job she still buys some high end things I wouldn't buy, but she also gets a lot of clothes at thrift stores.

 

[mjkacmom]

Ever since the days of getting a new phone for $100 every 2 years ended, my kids pay for their iPhones. They cost as much as laptops! I do give them the option of paying monthly though. Ds21 just bought his first phone (I bought the last one 6 years ago), all are eligible for upgrades sine they are all over 2 years old, some are pretty cracked.

 

[RamblingMad]

Lived it at that age. There were no iPhones, or any phone that you didn't stretch the cord from mom and dad's room to your room.

Got a job as soon as I was 16. The "but why?" part? Because control. My mother is the most controlling and narcissistic person I know. Gave every penny to her because I had to save. Couldn't spend a dime, I had to save. To this day, she will comment on the cost of everything she knows I've bought and she thinks it's ridiculous, the money should be saved.

I had to ask for my own money for everything. Need gas? Had to ask for my own money. Wanted money for when I'm out with friends and there's a chance of ending up getting something to eat (fast food in those days all the time,) nope, that wasn't approved by her, can't have my own money for that. Want to buy something? Anything? Doesn't matter what it is, nope, not approved by her, can't have my own money.

What I learned when I got out on my own is it's now my money to do as I wish. And I spent. Bought stuff I wanted to buy. Wanted something else and didn't have the money, but would on Friday. Wait, I can buy with a credit card and not pay for it until Friday? The only thing I was taught about money and finances was I can't have it. I suffered greatly in the early days of adulthood and being on my own.

The way I learned was that my parents provided no safety net for any economic decisions. And it’s still that way today. So I save for a rainy day and live well below my means.

 

[Hikergirl]

This would be my daughter’s 3rd and final phone from me. She wants I phone as she now has an android. I can not support her in this decision financially, because I do not believe in spending so much money for 1. I will be giving her $100 towards it for her big Xmas gift. She does not have a job and she spends money like it is growing on the tree’s. I told her she would need to get a job turning 16 in feb and fund the rest of it. BUT here is the bottom line. I did not raise my children to spend tons of money on name brand shoes and clothes. I am frugal by choice so I do not know if I should just butt out or try and convince her otherwise. I would be paying the bill every month and she is going to buy it outright not tacked onto the monthly bill to make payments. Any advice on what to do?

You have a 16 year old who is like the majority of 16 year olds, she wants what is in and trendy. It has nothing to do with how she was raised, it has to do with fitting in with her peers. That is a perfectly normal way to be when you are 16.

I would gift her the $100 towards the iphone she wants and then butt out Let her work and earn the rest of the money to pay for the phone she wants. You may see that she did learn from all those things you taught her about being frugal. Maybe when it's her money, she'll bargain shop, she'll decide on an older less expensive model, or even choose not to go with an iphone and stick with an upgraded android. Or she'll work and save for the most expensive one.
Don't tell her what she can and can't buy, give her a chance to be responsible with her own money, she may surprise you.