Irresponsible Storage

[disykat]

Why does everyone reduce something down to offended or not--it's like the new fad lol. On a message board surprisingly enough people are able to converse without being offended It takes a lot more than discussing someone's viewpoint on a mess left when one passes away to make me anywhere near offended

Sorry I misinterpreted. You kept quoting me and seemed upset so I felt like the nice thing to do was to apologize?

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

'important papers' means different things to different people as well. late mil always made a point to tell where her 'important papers' were kept. everyone assumed-will, banking info....NOPE-dog's shot records and vehicle servicing information (for cars she no longer owned). if you will have to deal with someone's affairs at some point-find out what THEY consider their 'important papers' so you can make sure to easily find what YOU consider them to be.

That's a really good point and a good idea so it makes things easier.

My husband's grandmother kept receipts (all of them from years and years ago) of big purchases and to her that was appliances, lawn equipment, etc. Back in the day that sort of stuff was more important to keep for issues with warranty, repairs, etc but isn't as important these days. When my mother-in-law was going through things she found that and thought "oh my look at this box of receipts" but to her mother it was important to keep that sort of stuff. And I think what happened for the stuff towards the middle to the bottom was those receipts were for things that she no longer owned. Just like you said about cars. Easy for us all to put stuff in a box, tub, folder but it's just as easy for us to forget to actually go back through it from time to time.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Sorry I misinterpreted. You kept quoting me and seemed upset so I felt like the nice thing to do was to apologize? I guess truthfully, I'm the one feeling offended. No fad, just don't like feeling harassed for my opinion.

Harrassing? I wasn't harrassing you geez. Your initial comment was broad and generalizing and so I commented on it as that's how it read to me. Your subsequent comments helped clarifying you were meaning when it really gets out of control which helps me see where you were coming from.

But if you're truly offended by my conversing with you then you have my apologies as that was not my intent If you wish to converse further on that aspect you're welcome to PM me as it's probably best we avoid further on this thread at this point.

 

[tvguy]

if she was around during the depression or ww2 then it likely became a learned habit to never get rid of any usable items. between not being able to afford things and then rationing both my parents were in the habit of never tossing anything that was still in usable condition (even if they hadn't used it in decades). we tossed tons of bedding from my mom's place along with a wealth of tablecloths (though i never remember her using anything other than the wipe able type during the course of my life). i'm guilty of the fitted sheet collection-but in my defense they're ones from when my kids were young (rugrats, yugioh, disney....) and they get a kick when i use them to cover a table for outdoor bbq's (the fitting of them allows them to wrap under the table so the wind doesn't blow them off).

My MIL was 9 when WW2 ended, so not a factor for her, My mom was was 12 years old and she certainly was impacted by the Depression and WW2. In my mom's case, it did pay off because not only did she keep alot of paperwork, but it was organized so she could find it. When the shocks on her car started leaking (22 years after she had them put on) and Montgomery Ward was going to replace the shocks for free, but wanted $50 per shock to put the new ones on, she whipped our her receipt that said if they failed and they installed them, the labor was free too. Of course, the guy doing the paper work wasn't even born until a month after the original shocks were put on, but he said he had never heard of a lifetime warrant on parts and labor. I lost track of how many free batteries she got after she bought a JCPenney lifetime battery. They would fail like every 3 years, and she'd get a new one for free. Even after JCPenney closed their auto centers, they had an agreement with Firestone to cover the warranty.

 

[RUDisney]

It might be that the dumpster is just too much for them. If they are willing to work a little at a time, here are some possible tips:
1. Clear out the car trunk. You don't want the donation site to take a toolbox or something.
2. Put a couple of small to medium sized boxes in your parent's trunk. They can add items a bit at a time, avoiding the whole trying to pick up and carry a heavy box scenario.
3. Clothes? Use old Kohls, Penneys or other plastic bags. Load them in, tie off, drop in trunk.
4. Set aside a box or two in the garage for the trash. The folks who can easily get to a dumpster could pick up that stuff, leaving the box for the next round of items.
Then drive to the donation place, let them unload the trunk, it's a pretty easy way to get rid of the stuff that is still usable.
5. Spend some time shredding. Do it yourself, or call your bank/credit union and find out when they are having a shred day. Start with easy stuff, like receipts from utilities 10 years ago and work your way together to more current paperwork.
6. Maybe set a time limit for each time you work together...like, we'll tidy up the files for an hour, and then do something like take a walk, grab lunch, or what have you.

I understand your parents may not be willing to ever go through these steps, but you might check in now and then and try to start the process. Too much stuff can be exhausting, even though they may not realize it now.

We've made many of these recommendations, too... each at our own times. Dad is SO concerned that because he's saved screws and nails that he hasn't had any need for in 40 years that he will need one after he throws them away. We've countered this with, "I'll pay for the $.07 screws that you might need to replace." He saves scraps of plywood and sheetrock because you never know when you may be able to use them.

And, don't start me on the pots that have no handles or the chipped dishes and bowls that they are storing for some reason.

Every now and then they DO go through their paperwork. I don't know how much is there now, but they occasionally clear that out.

Donations go to their basement and never leave. Good intentions and bad follow through. I'll suggest the trunk boxes to them.

I just wish they could park in their garage again and that their basement bedroom and living room were usable again. It's a great place for the kids to go when we are all there for holidays, etc.

 

[Cadiewampus]

Why does everyone reduce something down to offended or not--it's like the new fad lol. On a message board surprisingly enough people are able to converse without being offended It takes a lot more than discussing someone's viewpoint on a mess left when one passes away to make me anywhere near offended

Lol as soon as I saw your post I thought of this guy

 

[robinb]

I feel your pain. My mom was a hoarder. I had to hire a company to help me clean out her house.

 

[cabanafrau]

A friend's MIL was tidy, but a saver. She and her husband bought many top of the line items that they kept even when they upgraded -- TV's, radios, etc. that they kept lined up in the basement "in case they ever needed them". She also kept probably every bill they ever received/paid, cancelled check, etc. The really tricky part was she also used the paperwork archives in particular as a means of safekeeping money, stock certificates, annuity information, bonds, etc., as well as in the pockets of old clothing, which she also did not part with over the years. That was a very stressful clearing out because they knew that missing anything could be very costly. They located what amounted to six figures by the time they were done.

 

[gwynne]

We've made many of these recommendations, too... each at our own times. Dad is SO concerned that because he's saved screws and nails that he hasn't had any need for in 40 years that he will need one after he throws them away. We've countered this with, "I'll pay for the $.07 screws that you might need to replace." He saves scraps of plywood and sheetrock because you never know when you may be able to use them.

And, don't start me on the pots that have no handles or the chipped dishes and bowls that they are storing for some reason.

Every now and then they DO go through their paperwork. I don't know how much is there now, but they occasionally clear that out.

Donations go to their basement and never leave. Good intentions and bad follow through. I'll suggest the trunk boxes to them.

I just wish they could park in their garage again and that their basement bedroom and living room were usable again. It's a great place for the kids to go when we are all there for holidays, etc.

How frustrating. Here's hoping they will be open to starting the process a little at a time one day soon.

 

[barkley]

A friend's MIL was tidy, but a saver. She and her husband bought many top of the line items that they kept even when they upgraded -- TV's, radios, etc. that they kept lined up in the basement "in case they ever needed them". She also kept probably every bill they ever received/paid, cancelled check, etc. The really tricky part was she also used the paperwork archives in particular as a means of safekeeping money, stock certificates, annuity information, bonds, etc., as well as in the pockets of old clothing, which she also did not part with over the years. That was a very stressful clearing out because they knew that missing anything could be very costly. They located what amounted to six figures by the time they were done.

when we cleared out mil's place we shook open every book, opened every dvd case, checked every pocket of every item of clothing....dh looked at me funny when i insisted on opening every framed photos to check before we chucked them but i knew that's where my mom had always had a hidden her emergency stash of cash so i wasn't taking any chances.

 

[MrsCobraBubbles]

I sympathize. My mother is a hoarder, her stuff was mostly organized but not put away quite as neatly as you describe, and it took us a month to move her out! It was horrible! She filled two large storage units with her stuff, and we convinced her to throw away a bunch too. She had lived in that house almost 30 years, and managed to fill it to the gills in that time.

 

[ronandannette]

When people are living their lives they seldom are thinking about what happens with their stuff when they are gone. You may even be lableled as irresponsible in that respects to someone you know when you're gone; you're just living your life at the moment I'm sure.

My mom thinks it's silly that I keep an old dining room table set that was my grandmothers, then my mom's and now mine. If I pass before her she'll have to lug that thing somewhere (donation, trash, somewhere). But I'm not going to get rid of it now just because she would have to deal with it if I pass before her

True hoarders, like the ones you see on the tv show and whatnot are on a whole 'nother level and often have mental health issues.

That is truly bizarre. I've never heard of a parent contemplating what trouble they would have to go to if their child died - never. And it seems even weirder given that you have a husband who would ostensibly survive your untimely demise and be responsible for your affairs - old table set and all.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

That is truly bizarre. I've never heard of a parent contemplating what trouble they would have to go to if their child died - never. And it seems even weirder given that you have a husband who would ostensibly survive your untimely demise and be responsible for your affairs - old table set and all.

Never said my mom would be contemplating it. I was.

Never mentioned my husband either and for the purposes of the example I wasn't including him in. My bad I guess.

Lordy that was just really well over what my comment was even about lol. Normally between the two of us I'm the one who over indulges in what comments were made but respectfully you've way overthought and indepthly thought about an offhanded comment/example

 

[lovin'fl]

In 2017 we moved after living in house 10 years. I had a LOT to purge myself but I do tend to be more minimalist than our parents. The same time I was preparing for our move, my mother decided she HAD to renovate her home she had been in for 24 years. So I had to help her purge and organize and it was as OP described. Rotted pool umbrellas from the previous house that had a pool....first aid kit that expired in 1980 when I was 7....bottle of homemade alcohol of some sort (long forgotten what) that had flakes floating around in it and she asked if I wanted to drink it. That was just some of the crazy crap I remember.