Is it okay to put family first? (Response to royal family stuff)

[Moliphino]

I disagree that he should "stop talking". Why should he?

There's been a lot of misinformation about him and intrusion into his life and he wishes to set the story straight. I don't blame him. He didn't ask to be thrust into the spotlight because his daughter married a prince.

I agree with a pp, a little bit better communication from the get go could've averted a lot of these problems.

If he stopped talking everyone would forget about him completely within about 5 minutes. He is the one constantly putting that spotlight on himself.

 

[snappy]

I have a personal note too. I sit with people who are dying all the time. Sometimes they have regrets and wish things could've been different. Oftentimes they even realize they themselves could've made better choices. Isn't that true of all of us? At the end of our lives having peace is a wonderful thing. We all have the ability to help people find peace, and in the process, we can find peace ourselves. But when we're busy in mid-life we don't always see it or make time for it. It's only when we have time to reflect that we realize we maybe could've done things differently; done things better. And not just for others, but for ourselves. Obviously not everyone will be presented with, see, or take, these opportunities.

This is what I see in the Markle situation. We all approach these things from different perspectives. I had issues like these, too. And I am very glad I took the opportunity to come to peace with the situation before it was no longer an option. It wasn't easy, and I still had a lot of work to do around the process. But I don't hold any bitterness in my heart, and for that, I am grateful.

I agree. Life can turn on a dime. I think making amends is worth the effort, before you end up with regret.

 

[snappy]

You only have one father. And it appears unlikely that Meghan will have much of a relationship with the in laws.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I have a personal note too. I sit with people who are dying all the time. Sometimes they have regrets and wish things could've been different. Oftentimes they even realize they themselves could've made better choices. Isn't that true of all of us? At the end of our lives having peace is a wonderful thing. We all have the ability to help people find peace, and in the process, we can find peace ourselves. But when we're busy in mid-life we don't always see it or make time for it. It's only when we have time to reflect that we realize we maybe could've done things differently; done things better. And not just for others, but for ourselves. Obviously not everyone will be presented with, see, or take, these opportunities.

This is what I see in the Markle situation. We all approach these things from different perspectives. I had issues like these, too. And I am very glad I took the opportunity to come to peace with the situation before it was no longer an option. It wasn't easy, and I still had a lot of work to do around the process. But I don't hold any bitterness in my heart, and for that, I am grateful.

I did say that it may be too late for some things once the decision is made and stuck with (as in they pass and no amends made) but in no way shape or form do I think it's appropriate for anyone to make anyone feel like they have to do something just to ease someone else's guilt.

Everyone lives with their choices they make, maybe you'll end up regretting them maybe not--there's this concept that you will regret your choice but that really isn't how human nature works it's not a given, it doesn't change that you may make that decision nor does it mean that your decision may change.

It's not up for me to decide that my sister should have come to my grandmother's visitation or come to her deathbed as she was notified (albeit with little notice).

I say this respectfully to describe it as bitterness means you just may not be able to fully understand the other side of the story as it's a very limited and narrow viewpoint on what may be happening. In reality very few people get the concept of not speaking to one's blood relation. It can be a hard thing that I don't expect people to understand and that's with the understanding that each person's situation is different. All one can ask for is respect and courtesy that it may not be the choice you make it may be the choice someone else makes

That's all to say I don't know Meghan's whole situation but I will say I'm more open to more possibilities of what may be going on. That's purely just me speaking not speaking for others.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

You only have one father. And it appears unlikely that Meghan will have much of a relationship with the in laws.

Nope.

I have 1 blood relation father but I have had in my life 3 other men that I consider fathers that were there for me far more than my own father was at one time or another.

Remember family and how one defines it is not absolute

 

[luvsJack]

Nope.

I have 1 blood relation father but I have had in my life 3 other men that I consider fathers that were there for me far more than my own father was at one time or another.

Remember family and how one defines it is not absolute

Her father has always been there for her. She lived with him much of her life.

You can't project your situation on to the Markels. It may be extremely different.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I never implied that anyone here should not have cut anyone out of their lives. Just that its not the answer for everyone, in every situation.

If its what you needed to do, that is fine. My cousins had to cut their Dad out of their lives. He was hateful and angry and they had no choice. After he had a stroke, they tried to make amends (knowing they would still have to put up his hatefulness until he died) but he wouldn't have it. He died a lonely hateful old man. I don't fault them for what they did. I know they had no choice. That doesn't mean every time someone gets mad at their father that they should also do what my cousins had to do.

There is no one answer for everyone and just like I said, everyone's opinion is based on their own experiences.

Not disagreeing with you. But that's the thing, he is not a hateful old man. To me he seems like a pretty nice man who found himself in a tough situation and dealt with it naively and admittedly, wrongly. I get that. I don't think that H&M handled it well, either. Meghan loved him. (Impossible to deny seeing their home videos.) Likely still loves him. And he loves her, very much. He did a lot for Meghan; gave her so much. It's certainly her right to freeze him out if she wants to, for whatever her reasons, I won't deny that. It just seems like such a shame, for both of them, and if they never see eachother again and he passes, I hope she doesn't later have regrets. There's a lot going on in her life right now and he's obviously not a part of it, at all. She's a duchess and he's sort of down and out in some ways, but strip everything away and they're both basic human beings in the end.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

If he stopped talking everyone would forget about him completely within about 5 minutes. He is the one constantly putting that spotlight on himself.

Wouldn't you if you were constantly reading things about yourself? Especially if they were purposefully unflattering or untrue?

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Her father has always been there for her. She lived with him much of her life.

You can't project your situation on to the Markels. It may be extremely different.

Apologies I was unaware you were privy to her entire lifetime.

I'm not projecting I was giving personal experience much like other posters but yeah of course you would go with the you're just projecting line.

What I'm saying is I'm open to more possibilties out there for what is going on than just confining it one way or another.

 

[cabanafrau]

Wouldn't you if you were constantly reading things about yourself? Especially if they were purposefully unflattering or untrue?

The snow falls on both sides of the fence with regard to father and daughter in that regard.

 

[Moliphino]

Wouldn't you if you were constantly reading things about yourself? Especially if they were purposefully unflattering or untrue?

I only read things about him when he's the one talking. And no, I don't think I would since it would all die down in moments if I just shut up.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I never implied that anyone here should not have cut anyone out of their lives. Just that its not the answer for everyone, in every situation.

If its what you needed to do, that is fine. My cousins had to cut their Dad out of their lives. He was hateful and angry and they had no choice. After he had a stroke, they tried to make amends (knowing they would still have to put up his hatefulness until he died) but he wouldn't have it. He died a lonely hateful old man. I don't fault them for what they did. I know they had no choice. That doesn't mean every time someone gets mad at their father that they should also do what my cousins had to do.

There is no one answer for everyone and just like I said, everyone's opinion is based on their own experiences.

Let me repost what you posted:

Cutting people out of your life is not always the answer.

It's fine if you want to expand on your comment..now..but I was responding to your black and white comment before.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

The snow falls on both sides of the fence with regard to father and daughter in that regard.

I agree.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

And she chases the spotlight as well. In a very similar fashion as other actresses who always are watching for the next profitable opportunity. You generally have to be current, relevant to get the work or the endorsement deal.
That's not bad, it's just how that biz works.

If you assume that is her goal, ok I guess. But using that as an excuse for her dad to act this way is silly. Did you miss the lovely part where he said “they owe me”....what a peach....

 

[Aladora]

This is pretty much where I'm at with it, at this point:
https://nationalpost.com/opinion/co...stay/wcm/a4efe586-b642-48b1-974b-8b49458906dd

I cannot believe I wasted time reading that hate-filled drivel. Whoever Catherine Ford is, she does not represent my views. I was amused by her making the comment that she is thankfully no relation to Doug Ford, until I read that line I would have bet good money that she was related to him based on her vitriolic comments in this article. What a horrifically bitter sounding women she is.

Yes, the irony is that they say they wish a more normal life, a life away from the chaos and press of being a royal .... and yet this is exactly the opposite of what their future neighbors will endure. Why should they get to disrupt what might be a peaceful community? The article is correct that their neighbors will have photographers and other creepers in their bushes, in their trees, climbing their fences .... that neighbors will constantly call for assistance in removal. If they remain on public streets, sidewalks and land then no one is doing anything wrong but their community is being disrupted.

We had a massive estate in our community that was for sale. Michael Jackson was seriously looking at it. The community went ballistic and made it clear he and all the entourage, photographers and fans were not welcome. In the end he got the message. In a neighboring community Justin Bieber was looking at a home. Again the outrage was huge and he moved on. I suggest that Canada do the same - don't let your community be turned in to something it's not. But I'm not sure Harry is prepared for folks to pull in the welcome mat ... I'm not sure he understands that photos taken in public are allowed .... I'm not sure he really understands anything outside the royal family and it's protections even though he saw it happen with his mother.

I'm thinking they made lots of assumptions of how life will be
VS
getting a good understanding of what it actually will be and taking the proper steps before skipping out.

Of course if they choose a community more like a Hollywood where this kind of stuff is normal, they should be good. They will become just one of many.

I live in one of the communities they are reported to be looking at and I can honestly say that I have no problem if they chose to live in my little slice of heaven that is Southern Vancouver Island. Family issues aside, I think it is a wonderful place to live and to bring up a child. Will there be a free-for-all at the beginning? Probably but people will get over it and hopefully calm the heck down and allow them to live in relative peace.

 

[luvsJack]

Let me repost what you posted:



It's fine if you want to expand on your comment..now..but I was responding to your black and white comment before.

You should learn not to take things personally. I was not talking about a single poster here. I was only talking about the Princess and her father.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I only read things about him when he's the one talking. And no, I don't think I would since it would all die down in moments if I just shut up.

I highly doubt that most people would simply shut up. No way.

 

[luvsJack]

Apologies I was unaware you were privy to her entire lifetime.

I'm not projecting I was giving personal experience much like other posters but yeah of course you would go with the you're just projecting line.

What I'm saying is I'm open to more possibilties out there for what is going on than just confining it one way or another.

We all are. Its been in articles and pictures all over.



The poster said "he is the only father MEGHAN has" and you started your post with "NOPE". As though he couldn't possibly be that important because in your situation its not that way.

Look, my younger son has all but cut his Dad out of his life. And has since high school graduation. I get it. He was tired of the hurt and disappointment. I haven't personally dealt with a similar situation but been close enough between ds and my cousins to understand it. Saying that the answer is not always cutting someone out is no different than saying to someone that divorce isn't always the answer.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Wouldn't you if you were constantly reading things about yourself? Especially if they were purposefully unflattering or untrue?

I highly doubt that most people would simply shut up. No way.

I think there is a natural tendency to set the record straight but I'm not sure if the goal is to make things all good that speaking in a very public way is the route to go. It may make the whole situation worse- and hey that's a valid point for this entire situation we're talking about with Harry and Meghan.

That doesn't mean he hasn't attempted to speak with her privately but it doesn't mean the alternative is to go through the Press either.

I kinda think about the whole RCI issue going on even though it's in a completely different direct than the discussion at hand--they were applauded by many for staying out of the spotlight for as long as possible only issuing a statment late when they felt their hand was forced.

And in general we've seen multiple cases where companies have suffered because they spoke out so quickly or so loudly rather than maybe playing it more the quiet way. In direct person to person relationship I can only imagine how much more that may be important to take a different route even if that route ends up not getting a response from the other party.

 

[luvsJack]

Not disagreeing with you. But that's the thing, he is not a hateful old man. To me he seems like a pretty nice man who found himself in a tough situation and dealt with it naively and admittedly, wrongly. I get that. I don't think that H&M handled it well, either. Meghan loved him. (Impossible to deny seeing their home videos.) Likely still loves him. And he loves her, very much. He did a lot for Meghan; gave her so much. It's certainly her right to freeze him out if she wants to, for whatever her reasons, I won't deny that. It just seems like such a shame, for both of them, and if they never see eachother again and he passes, I hope she doesn't later have regrets. There's a lot going on in her life right now and he's obviously not a part of it, at all. She's a duchess and he's sort of down and out in some ways, but strip everything away and they're both basic human beings in the end.

Oh, I agree with you!

It was my uncle who was the hateful old man. Sorry, if it was confusing.