Life's Lessons Learned

[CyranoJones]

So my daughter decided to go out and get drunk last night. She thought I couldn't figure what she was planning. God knows, I was never 18.

She comes in a little before her curfew and I'm on the couch watching TV. I notice it is taking her a long time to get her boots off. I ask if she had been drinking....oh no, Mom. Yeah, right!! She goes to get changed and comes down trying to act all normal like you do when you're drunk. By this time I'm just trying not to laugh. I ask how much did she drink...well that she understood. She starts talking and she's slurring her words and I do start laughing. I told her to go to bed and that I did not want to hear one complaint from her in the morning when she got up.

So she's pretty hung over right now. I think she's done puking and she has a bad headache. She said mom, I don't think I'll be drinking like that again for a long, long time. I said isn't it glamourous and cool to be hanging over the toilet. Nothing quite as dignified as worshipping the porcelain god.

Am I upset...yes, but not hysterically so. Angry? Not really. I was no paragon of virtue at 18 either. Punishment? I don't think I could possibly punish her more than her body is punishing her right now. Do I hope she learned a lesson? Yes, I think she has, at least as well as an 18 year old can. And at least she had the good sense not to take the car last night. That was her one wise decision for the evening.

Oy!

 

[Serena]

I feel for ya. My dd(16) is on house arrest and probation because of that same decision.

I was hoping that she would be really sick though. But oh well, she says she isn't going to do that again.

 

[s&k'smom]

Oh I learned that lesson. 18 and away from home, drank so much I puked my brains out. Never did it again!

 

[AF Brenda]

I can't believe that you don't plan on punishing her!!!! My DD wouldn't be allowed out of the house until she was 40 if she pulled a stunt like that!!

Oh well, I guess you think it will "work itself out".

Good luck

 

[Hnymoon@Dixie]

I think you did the right thing! Getting sick is punishment enough!
No TV for a week or something like that for an 18 year old is a teenie-bopper aged punishment. When your older & you get dumb punishments, it just makes you angry. My parents laid off the punishing when I turned 18 & took more of a conversational approach. It actually made me respect them more for giving me space & talking it out with them. (Not trying to tell anyone how to parent, just my 2 cents!

 

[fireplug]

Been there, done that!!!!
Guilty on all counts.

I did it when I was young and had to go to Police station to pick up both of our kids.

Did my parents punish me NOPE.

Did we punish ours NOPE.

Did they know a mistake was made and learn from it YES

Not trying to tell parents how to raise their children but we felt that at 18 y/o if they did not know right from wrong it would do no good to "punish" them. They were embarrassed enough to make them both behave better until they were old enough.

Don't give her any slack for a while and she should toe the line if she is a good kid.


Steve


PS: and say a silent thank you to the One upstairs that you did not have to go and identify them at the morgue. Many parents aren't as lucky.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>I remember that lesson when I was about 19, but it was the one at 25 where I learned my lesson. ugh

Hey, Cyranno, did you take a picture? I think I'd take a pic of either of my two if they did something like that & pull it out whenever I thought they needed a reminder of the consequences.


(Steve, your ps comment is a good one)

 

[AF Brenda]

PS: and say a silent thank you to the One upstairs that you did not have to go and identify them at the morgue.

Not yet anyway

 

[Lars624]

I learned the same lesson at about the same age. Luckily for me & every other driver on the road that night I wasn't behind the wheel.
I came in from the party in time for my curfew but as I closed the door I lost it.......all over the living room carpet. I heard the sweet voice of my mother call out to me from the bedroom to ask if I was sick and I said "yes". She said"I'll be right there honey" I was so relieved, mom was going to help me, she thought I had the flu. Boy was I WRONG! She came out of the bedroom and very calmly handed me a bucket and a scrub brush and said "Clean up after yourself and take a shower before you get in bed, you stink". Then she turned around and went to bed. Let me tell you that I think that was the best punishment she could have given me. I'm going to remember that one when my kids do that.

 

[Serena]

I am very lucky my girl didn't end up at the morgue. The risks she took could have very well ended her life.

 

[snoopy]

I remember very clearly the one and only time I got rip roaring drunk I was about 18 or so. My father's reaction was very similar to yours, Cyranno Jones. He told me to go take some asprin and drink some water, because I was going to need all the help I could get in the morning. And sure enough he was right. I was one sick puppy, and learned my lesson pretty much instantaenously.

I do remember thinking my Dad was the best Dad on Earth because rather than make me feel worse than I already did, he came up after I was done puking for hours on end and gave me a glass of Tomato juice.

I'm not sure how I might handle it if it were my boys, they are so young now its hard to imagine, but I hope that I will try and be as understanding as my Dad was to me. The next time I thought about getting drunk after that incident I remembered how sick I was, and I also remembered my father's kindness.