So last week I was having second thoughts. After a day or two to clear my head, I realized I was okay with it. Now today with registration tomorrow, I'm getting scared. Now keep in mind this is fear as opposed to second thoughts. More like, I want to do this, but I fear failure. So if anyone wants to help a brother out, I appreciate all the past experience dealing with that fear and not letting it control me.
I know a lot on here have heard this story before, so please bear with it one more time as I pass it along to
@Sleepless Knight. I started running seriously in early 2015 with the goal of running a half marathon in Disney. I found I enjoyed running very much and due to missing out on Wine & Dine, which sold out, I ended up with Marathon Weekend as my first runDisney race. I had run my first half marathon in June, 2015 and registered for the 10k & half of MW over the summer. January, 2016 was the 3rd anniversary of my deciding to lose weight and I somehow decided I'd try to commemorate that anniversary by attempting the marathon, too. I had all fall to train and, you know, bucket list things, after all.
Long story short(ish), I tore my hamstring in a September half marathon and was unable to run at all for almost two months. It was close to Thanksgiving before I was cleared to run again with slowly progressing intervals to rehab the muscle. I had just made it back up to 10-12 miles in training when Marathon Weekend rolled around. I stuck to my intervals for the 10k and half and had really good races, all things considered, but then it was time for the marathon.
I was tired from the first two races. I was scared of the distance and not being trained for it. I wasn't sure if I was actually going to try it right up until race start. Standing in the corrals listening to Jeff Galloway talk about respecting the distance and how challenging the heat and humidity were going to be on the day just fed the fear. I almost walked out of the corral and didn't start. But I did, thinking I could quit if things got too bad. I stuck to my intervals and felt my legs complaining all the way through the Magic Kingdom. Somewhere around that point, I got a second wind, my legs stopped hurting and I was able to lose myself in the experience. It was a thrill to finish. I wouldn't trade that feeling for anything else in the world and I've been chasing that feeling ever since.
It's also hard to explain and quantify what completing that marathon has meant on a personal level. It has been a boost to my self confidence in just about everything I do. I'm far less afraid of unknowns and trying new things since that point. That "bucket list" item to "see if I can do it" has also become 4 completed marathons with a 5th and an ultra scheduled for the fall. I just got a bike and am looking at trying an IM70.3. All would have been unheard of for me pre-marathon.
Only you can control the fears that you're facing right now. They're normal, though. I think just about everyone goes through them before their first marathons. That fear is one of the mental flames that you have to step through to come out a stronger, more tempered person on the other side. But if you stick with it, I think the benefits will far outweigh the uncertainties, fears and discomfort that you overcome to get there. They certainly have for me.
