Missed my vacation but gained new perspective

[DizMe]

I had just arrived at our rented beach house in Newport when I got an emergency call and had to fly home. At least the rest of my family got to stay and enjoy DLR and the beach.

Have had an ongoing crisis which is now stable for the most part. I am grateful that my dad is still with me even if in very changed circumstances. I was thinking about how special DL was for us as I was growing up and how as a kid my favorite thing was riding the Dumbo ride with my dad. He never minded that I was too afraid to go all the way to the top

It's funny how large a role DL played in my childhood memories and how it's all linked in with my dad. It makes it even more special to me because of that

 

[lulubelle]

Sorry you missed your vacation, but happy that you were able to gain a positive perspective out of the situation.

Hope your dad is ok and that you get back to DL real soon and ride Dumbo.

 

[Mugglemama]

I'm glad for you that you got to spend more time with your Dad, even if it meant missing time at DL.

2 years ago, I spent 5 days with my Dad...getting him to the doctor, cleaning his house while he slept, spending the 5th day at the emergency room all day with him, before getting him settled in back at home the following morning. Then we left to spend 2 days at Disneyland before coming home. I told him I would see him in 9 months.

It was the last time I ever saw my Dad. He died 7 months later. And now, I'd give almost anything to have those 2 days back to spend with him instead.

Disneyland's not going anywhere.

 

[DizMe]

Sorry you missed your vacation, but happy that you were able to gain a positive perspective out of the situation.

Hope your dad is ok and that you get back to DL real soon and ride Dumbo.

Thank you! I hope so, too. I appreciate your kind words

I'm glad for you that you got to spend more time with your Dad, even if it meant missing time at DL.

2 years ago, I spent 5 days with my Dad...getting him to the doctor, cleaning his house while he slept, spending the 5th day at the emergency room all day with him, before getting him settled in back at home the following morning. Then we left to spend 2 days at Disneyland before coming home. I told him I would see him in 9 months.

It was the last time I ever saw my Dad. He died 7 months later. And now, I'd give almost anything to have those 2 days back to spend with him instead.

Disneyland's not going anywhere.

I'm so sorry about your dad . And you're absolutely right about the importance of this time spent with him. I'm so, so glad that I'm able to be there for him and I don't mind a bit if other things have to be put on hold in the meantime. My dad has spent his life caring for others (including me) and I'm happy to be able to give him just a speck of what he's given so many others in his 82+ years.

 

[SeattleTink]

DizMe,

I'm saying a prayer for your dad.

I also have lots of childhood memories connected to Disneyland. My dad was in the Navy in the early 60's and we lived in San Diego. We went to Disneyland so many times I cannot count because they practially gave away tickets to the servicemen. I have wonderful memories of strolling down Main Street when I was 4 years old holding my dad's hand. He loved to listen to the musicians and riding the train.

My dad passed away in 1988, but the memories live forever. I'm with you Disneyland is all that much more special because of those trips as a child with my parents.

We live in Washington State and I have taken my kids to DLR 10 trips each and stayed multiple days (DD17 and DS14) - I'm sure someday the same memories will hold true to them.

My upcoming trip is going to be a family reunion of sorts....my mom and siblings and their families. We haven't all been to Disneyland together since the early 70's.

Big hug to you.

~ Barbi

 

[Disney Dreams]

...It's funny how large a role DL played in my childhood memories and how it's all linked in with my dad. It makes it even more special to me because of that

Wonderful memories. Sending pixie dust your Dad's way.

- Dreams

 

[Michelle2]

I'm glad for you that you got to spend more time with your Dad, even if it meant missing time at DL.

2 years ago, I spent 5 days with my Dad...getting him to the doctor, cleaning his house while he slept, spending the 5th day at the emergency room all day with him, before getting him settled in back at home the following morning. Then we left to spend 2 days at Disneyland before coming home. I told him I would see him in 9 months.

It was the last time I ever saw my Dad. He died 7 months later. And now, I'd give almost anything to have those 2 days back to spend with him instead.

Disneyland's not going anywhere.

I totally agree, well said.

 

[MomToOne]

There's nothing more special than a Daddy. 'Nuf said.

 

[lyv4him]

I'm so sorry that you are going through that. I can definately understand what you mean. Sending prayers your way

 

[usschmidt]

I have Dad/Disneyland memories too...I'm glad you got to spend time w/your father. No matter how old we get, us girls need their daddies

 

[Mugglemama]

I'm so sorry about your dad . And you're absolutely right about the importance of this time spent with him. I'm so, so glad that I'm able to be there for him and I don't mind a bit if other things have to be put on hold in the meantime. My dad has spent his life caring for others (including me) and I'm happy to be able to give him just a speck of what he's given so many others in his 82+ years.

Thank you. I hope your Dad is feeling much better and that you have several more years to spend with him!

 

[DizMe]

Thank you all so very much! You don't have to read the rest. I just need to vent.

We had to move Dad to an assisted living place and I am torn up with guilt about it. Dad just lost his wife (may karma find its way to her doorstep), his home, and the life he knew. He has a blood cancer that while so slow moving that it won't be terminal, causes memory problems and numbness in his hands and feet. Dad has provided my stepmother's care for the past 10 years following her radiation and stroke damage and took care of her terminally ill son for over 2 years (he passed away several years ago); they even built a suite onto the house for him. Now Dad is no longer able to care for others and needs care himself. The minute I left for my vacation, my stepmother told dad that she was moving away and not coming back.

I wouldn't even have minded that if it had been done up-front and above-board; my dad understands stepmother's wish to be closer to her family. The way it was done was simply cruel and heartless, with stepsisters planning it out with her and leaving a bewildered Dad wondering what happened and why she didn't love him enough to at least ask him to go too. The parting shot was to tell him the house was being sold. Technically, they can't do that out from under him, but it was simply impossible, for a number of reasons, for us to keep him in the home.

But Dad has a gentle, kind, and generous spirit and does not hold any ill will. He feels she must have done what she felt was best and he hopes she is happy. I spoke to her and I do not harbor the same feelings as Dad; she certainly isn't thinking about him in the way that he's considering her.

And now I visit him every day, and we talk. I listen to him speak fondly of his wife and sometimes he forgets she isn't just out for a while. It is heartbreaking for me to see him alone in his new place; I want to bring him home with me but the doctor says it would not be good for him. How do I know what is good for him?? I'm just confused and torn right now.

So I like to think about Dad and me on the Dumbo ride, gliding along in the middle because I didn't like to go up and down. Dad always told me that was his favorite spot because he was with his peanut

 

[CrazyDuck]

Calling them stepmother and stepsisters is too nice... You should just refer to them as Tremaine, Anastasia and Drizella!

 

[Mugglemama]

Thank you all so very much! You don't have to read the rest. I just need to vent.

We had to move Dad to an assisted living place and I am torn up with guilt about it. Dad just lost his wife (may karma find its way to her doorstep), his home, and the life he knew. He has a blood cancer that while so slow moving that it won't be terminal, causes memory problems and numbness in his hands and feet. Dad has provided my stepmother's care for the past 10 years following her radiation and stroke damage and took care of her terminally ill son for over 2 years (he passed away several years ago); they even built a suite onto the house for him. Now Dad is no longer able to care for others and needs care himself. The minute I left for my vacation, my stepmother told dad that she was moving away and not coming back.

I wouldn't even have minded that if it had been done up-front and above-board; my dad understands stepmother's wish to be closer to her family. The way it was done was simply cruel and heartless, with stepsisters planning it out with her and leaving a bewildered Dad wondering what happened and why she didn't love him enough to at least ask him to go too. The parting shot was to tell him the house was being sold. Technically, they can't do that out from under him, but it was simply impossible, for a number of reasons, for us to keep him in the home.

But Dad has a gentle, kind, and generous spirit and does not hold any ill will. He feels she must have done what she felt was best and he hopes she is happy. I spoke to her and I do not harbor the same feelings as Dad; she certainly isn't thinking about him in the way that he's considering her.

And now I visit him every day, and we talk. I listen to him speak fondly of his wife and sometimes he forgets she isn't just out for a while. It is heartbreaking for me to see him alone in his new place; I want to bring him home with me but the doctor says it would not be good for him. How do I know what is good for him?? I'm just confused and torn right now.

So I like to think about Dad and me on the Dumbo ride, gliding along in the middle because I didn't like to go up and down. Dad always told me that was his favorite spot because he was with his peanut

I'm so sorry you are going through what you are going through. I wish I had words or suggestions to take away the hurt and make things better. We went through a lot of terrible times with my Dad in his last years, as well.

Try to stay strong and just move forward and make the best out of every day that you can. If you don't let the rest go, it will eat you up. Hug your Dad a lot and tell him all the things you might wish you had said someday when you won't have the chance anymore. Let the rest go. Best wishes to your family, DizMe!

 

[IdaTink]

DizMe, my dad passed away last December, the week before Christmas. He had been in assisted living with my mom (who has dementia, though she still knows who I am) for the previous 6 months, because they weren't able to take care of themselves. (He was 89, on dialysis, and was in frail health overall.)

It was hard to move them out of their house, but I felt some peace knowing they were eating well and being taken care of in a 24-hour way that I couldn't with my own family, a full-time job, and too small a house. Don't beat yourself up. The guilt is natural, but it's not helpful. (Pardon me for oversharing to someone I don't know! I know some of what you're going through. But not about the stepmother of course. She is a piece of work.)

For many of us, Disney parks (and obsessively planning on these boards) are a way to get a brief reprieve from some tough times. Take care of yourself.

 

[DizMe]

I wanted to thank everyone who posted to me. It has been a very hectic time but I wanted to let you know that my dad is now living with me and we're all very happy! He was so depressed in Assisted Living and I just couldn't bear to see him declining. My DH said, "He needs to be with family! He needs to live here," which is one of the nicest things a dh could do.

My girls love having grandpa here and oldest dd, who gave up her room, does not mind at all (she got the upstairs loft and now has a TV, which up until now has been verboten for the kids). It's work and requires patience but the benefits by far outweigh the downsides. We take things one day at a time and since I am not working an outside job, it is not a hardship for me.

I have already planned a little trip in November with my sis so I will be back at DL soon! Looking forward to it so much!! Thanks again for your kind words and thoughts.