Mom - Alzheimers

[TigerKat]

My first post here, kept hoping I wouldn't have to. A little history, I'm an only child, lost my Dad last year after he battled through many illnesses for 16 years. We evacuated him & Mom for Katrina and he didn't make it back from Texas.

Mom was diagnosed with Alz. 3 yrs ago. and doesn't REALLY know that he's gone. She's done fairly well until a few months ago. She now no longer communicates with anyone, barely opens her eyes for any length of time, stores food in her mouth (forgetting to swallow), drools like a baby, etc.

I have 24 hour care for her, which is a big help for me and also homehealth care. My question is to anyone experienced with Alzheimers, does this sound like the final stages? Her Dr. is really no help (health care down here since Katrina leaves a lot to be desired). I'm meeting with her homehealth care nurse and caretakers tomorrow morning and just need to face reality. I know she wants to be with my Dad, and he wants her to be with him. I'm finally accepting that, not saying I'm ready, but accepting.

Anyone with experience with final stage alzheimers feedback would be appreciated. This is extremely hard.

 

[bushdianee]

Here is a hug for you. you can never really be ready. I have lost both my maternal grandmother and my father to Alzheimer's less than 3 years apart. At the end my Grandmother who was 87 slept most of the time and became very thin from not eating. My Dad who was only 67 also slept a lot and lost weight. He also had other health issues.
Remember that you, as the primary caretaker need to take care of yourself as well. My Mom suffered from congested heart failure after my Grandmother, and sudden cardiac death after my Dad. Luckily she survived and is rebuilding her life. I know you said that you are an only child but are there any other relatives that you can lean on?

 

[safetymom]

Hugs for you. I will keep you in my prayers. Alzheimers is a hard thing to deal with. Is there any support groups in your area that could help you deal with this? They may be able to provide you with answers.

 

[Virgo10]

First, I am so sorry for what you are going through.

I was a nurse a million years ago and my field was dementia/Alzheimer patients. I may have read your post wrong but it sounds like your Mom is at home. Yes? Even with 24 hour care, I would suggest you look into a adult day care setting.

Dementia patients need stimulation from different settings, different people, different experiences. Without that they seem to fade deeper and deeper into their own world.

While it doesn't sound like your options are that great where you're living, have you thought about trying to find a doctor that specializes in the care of older patients? Also, ask to see a registered dietitian. He/she might be able to give you some input on your Mom's eating problems. I'd also advise getting some blood work done to see if her medications are part of the problem she's having. Drugs are wonderful things but they can also be the beast.

Best of luck and please let us know how she's doing.

 

[TigerKat]

Thank you all so much. Mom was hospitalized for a month about six weeks ago, having colon problems. They thought she may have to undergo a colostomy. It turned out she didn't (her age, 83, was a factor). The are treating her with meds. She is currently taking eleven different ones. Her downhill slide started when she was in the hospital, then when she came home she perked up for about a week and is now in the condition she is in.

I failed to mention in the OP that she fell and broke her hip (pre-dementia) and is wheel-chair bound, which makes transporting her very difficult.

bushdiane - no relatives at, both Mom & Dad were only children as well. I do have DH and DS.

Virgo - yes Mom is in her home of over sixty years with 2 ladies she has known much of her life, who love her as much as I do.

I will update you after I speak with "the pros" later today. Once again, many thanks!

Kathy

 

[TigerKat]

Thanks everyone for the well wishes for Mom. The meeting went about as well as expected. Mom is slipping away, all we can do is to make her as comfortable as possible. She will have good and bad days. I have accepted what is happening and I have to leave it in God's hands. I know my Dad will come for her when it's time, and they will be so happy to be together again.

 

[Scratch42]

HUGS!

I know it is difficult, because I am travelling the same road.

Just remember, you have to take care of yourself too!


j

 

[Luv'sTink]

A big hug for you! I am so sorry you and your Mom are going through this. I have no help for you other than to say you are in my thoughts!

 

[MegsMa]

TigarKat - my heart goes out to you and your beloved mom. My dear MIL was diagnosed with Alzheimers at age 70. She passed away November of last year at the age of 80. No one can realize how devastating this particular disease is unless they experience it first hand. The family and loved ones suffer along with the person diagnosed. I agree with the other posters stressing that you must take care of yourself also. I think the most difficult decision for my husband and his siblings had to do with the pressure of the doctors regarding their desire to insert a percutaneous gastrostomy tube (in other words a tube through her abdomen into her stomach) in order to maintain a somewhat normal nutritional status once she got to the stage where she couldn't chew and/or swallow. Those decisions are very personal and difficult, but you must follow your heart and what you believe your dear mom would have wanted for herself before she got sick. The one amazing thing (and I don't say this to be morbid) - after she passed away, her facial appearance reverted back to the "pre-alzheimer" look that she had before she ever got sick. It was as if her inner soul had been released and she was truely at peace. This is by no means said to upset you, but it was a great comfort to all - and I don't know how else to explain it. Prayers go out to you and your mom. We may not understand any of this now, but someday it will all become clear, when we are reunited with our loved ones in the presence of our Lord. Bless you both.

 

[Charleyann]

My Mom has this disease too. She is only 63 years old. She was diagnosed with the disease in her mid- fiftes. Just as my one and only baby was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis! It was a very hard pill to swallow. So many times I want a hug from my mom when things weren't going well with my child...she was there in body, but not in heart, I never did get that prediagnosed hug.

Two and a half years ago my dad died of cancer. When my mom knew my dad's life was ending, her disease progressed very quickly and as a result is now in a nursing home. It is so sad to see her there....she is still young in body. I want my mom back so much it hurts sometimes. I just want to shake her back to reality. It is so frustrating to see her still young looking but her mind elsewhere. This Christmas she didn't even know it was Christmas. She gigled with her gifts, but had no idea about the concept of Christmas. She still knows me to see me...but it is other things.

Good Luck to you!

Charleyann

 

[lisaviolet]

My question is to anyone experienced with Alzheimers, does this sound like the final stages?

I'm so sorry TigerKat. It does sound like the final stages to me. Obviously, none of us know but it does sound that way. We looked after my mother-in-law for about three years before she went into a home. The first year in there she was simply walking around causing havoc. I'm smiling. You know the stealing, the telling off, feisty as all get out....some traits of some Alzheimer's patients. And then she suddenly stopped communicating as much, and slept more. In the last couple of weeks, maybe month, she slept a lot, barely kept her eyes open, rarely communicated and in the end held her food in her mouth.

I will never forget the days before she died. One of the nurses was after her daughter to force feed her when it was evident to all of us what was happening....that she was dying. And force feeding her in these last moments of her life....well we didn't. And we just let her pass.

I'm so sorry. My heart is with you. I pray that they find a cure soon. I can't imagine going through losing someone this way again. So painful. You're in my thoughts.

Lisa

 

[teacups]

Tigerkat has posted on the CB that her mom passed today.
Blessings to her.

 

[lisaviolet]

Tigerkat has posted on the CB that her mom passed today.
Blessings to her.

I'm so sorry to hear that. Thank you teacups for letting us know. You're in my thoughts Tigerkat. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Lisa

 

[Mackey Mouse]

Thanks Teacups for letting us know... God bless her and the family..