Monatery Wedding Gift

nicolet

On the Fantasy in November!
Joined
Jun 6, 2006
What is an appropriate amount? Is the underlining rule to cover your plate amount? Would the amount you give change for family members vs friends or coworkers? If you know how much your plate was going to be do you try to cover that amount?

Just trying to figure out an appropriate amount based on 3 guests....
 
Where do you live? From what I read here, it ranges from nothing if you gave a shower gift, to at least covering your plate. What is your relationship with the couple? I'd probably give between $300 - $500, depending on my relationship, but I live in an area where people tend to be generous.
 
The wedding is downtown philly. It is a nephew. We live 2 hours away in a smaller town.
 
The wedding is downtown philly. It is a nephew. We live 2 hours away in a smaller town.

I am in the Philly area. If it were me I would give at a minimum $200. I like to 'cover the plate' but if someone chooses to have an extravagant wedding then I don't feel obligated to give more. Also if it is a close friend or relative I would want to give more or maybe add in a sentimental gift.
 


How much I give or spend depends on how much I like the couple. $100 minimum - that's generally if I don't attend the wedding. I have given/spent just short of $1000 on a girl who is like a member of our family. I have spent/given less to actual family members. It probably averages out at $400-500.
 
I never say the stupid cover your plate thing. My opinion is buy what you feel right and can afford off the registry. Our registry has a drastic span of items so that everyone attending can pick something they feel comfortable with. I didn't even want to do a registry as the whole thing felt wrong but my future sister-in-law said people would buy stuff even if we said not to so why not at least guide them towards stuff we actually want haha.
 


I live in the suburbs of Philly. For a nephew, we would give probably $300+.
 
I never say the stupid cover your plate thing. My opinion is buy what you feel right and can afford off the registry. Our registry has a drastic span of items so that everyone attending can pick something they feel comfortable with. I didn't even want to do a registry as the whole thing felt wrong but my future sister-in-law said people would buy stuff even if we said not to so why not at least guide them towards stuff we actually want haha.
I'm in the NYC area, and no one buys wedding gifts, registries are for the bridal shower. Philadelphia is less than 2 hours from here, so I don't know it it's any different.
 
I don't follow the "cover your plate" thing -- in my opinion that just doesn't fly. Not everyone has the same financial situation. Why should a family with a tight budget go into debt because rich Uncle Joe can afford an extravagant wedding reception? Presumably you have been invited because these people care about you and want you to share their day; if their concern is the monetary value of your gift they you may want to re-think the value of your relationship with them. We received a wide range of monetary gifts for our wedding -- ranging from $15 to $500+. When giving a gift, I do personally give more to family than a work acquaintance, but my gift is always based on what I can afford from my family's budget and may also take into consideration other expenses incurred (travel, attendant needs, etc.) as well.
 
If you're going, I'd say $200-$300 (and probably settle on $250). If you aren't, I'd say $100...
 
I'm in the NYC area, and no one buys wedding gifts, registries are for the bridal shower. Philadelphia is less than 2 hours from here, so I don't know it it's any different.

Hm I'm in the same area and we have definitely bought gifts for every wedding we have attended or invited to in the city. Maybe just different things for different people. Either way we have the same registry for both and again have a whatever happens happens attitude about the whole dang thing. I just want people to come and have a fun night and not feel stressed out about a giving or not giving a gift.
 
Hm I'm in the same area and we have definitely bought gifts for every wedding we have attended or invited to in the city. Maybe just different things for different people. Either way we have the same registry for both and again have a whatever happens happens attitude about the whole dang thing. I just want people to come and have a fun night and not feel stressed out about a giving or not giving a gift.
I don't recall ever seeing a place to put gifts. I did receive some from DH's family in MA, but they were mailed directly to us.
 
I don't recall ever seeing a place to put gifts. I did receive some from DH's family in MA, but they were mailed directly to us.

Most were just sent to the couple directly or were checks in a card. I just know this year alone I've given 3 to NYC couples and when planning our wedding every wedding planner at the venues we looked at mentioned where they would put a table or what they would do with gifts.
 
I don't recall ever seeing a place to put gifts. I did receive some from DH's family in MA, but they were mailed directly to us.

I don't remember a wedding without a table for gifts with a box to put cards with money...and I've been to a lot of weddings in a lot of different states. Someone always wants to bring an item and most folks always have their cards with them...
 
If you know how much your plate was going to be do you try to cover that amount?
I've never been to a wedding where I was privy to what my plate cost..

ETA: There's no way I would let my guests know how much I spent on them at my wedding. Over 4 years later and my mom still doesn't know how much per plate (plus the surcharge for glassware instead of plasticware) our wedding was.
 
Gift registries are for showers, wedding gifts are always cash. I have hardly ever seen a gift table at a reception?
Depending on relationship to the couple, we start at $250 and go up. Probably say most are about $500 (for two of us to attend).
 
Ok we are attending the wedding, and my dh and son are doing readings at the church. So we will also be attending the rehearsal dinner the night before. the bridal couple reserved a block of rooms for any out of town family members so we will also be spending Friday and Saturday night at the hotel.

I have already attended the shower and I didn't skimp on a gift for that. But I don't really feel that should be taken into consideration when trying to figure out a monetary gift amount for a wedding. I know there really isn't a set amount for a wedding couple but we also don't want to be know as the cheap aunt and uncle either.
 
I've never been to a wedding where I was privy to what my plate cost..

ETA: There's no way I would let my guests know how much I spent on them at my wedding. Over 4 years later and my mom still doesn't know how much per plate (plus the surcharge for glassware instead of plasticware) our wedding was.
LOL brides don't tell people what the wedding cost, but if there is a full cocktail hour with a raw bar, carving stations, passed hor d'oeuvres, and then a 5 course meal followed by a Venetian table, you know it was much more than $100 a plate (and I've never been to a wedding with plastic wear).

I just priced out a normal wedding reception at a venue a few miles from me, $160 pp, not including DJ, flowers, photography, limo, invitations...just your average reception.
 
Last edited:
I live in the Philly area. For friends I've averaged $200.. Closer friend have received more. My nieces and nephews aren't close enough to be married, but I would think anything from $200-$500 would be fine. It all depends on what you can afford and your budget. I don't think they'll think your "cheap". Remember gifts are never mandatory and they should appreciate any gift, no matter the price.
 

GET A DISNEY VACATION QUOTE

Dreams Unlimited Travel is committed to providing you with the very best vacation planning experience possible. Our Vacation Planners are experts and will share their honest advice to help you have a magical vacation.

Let us help you with your next Disney Vacation!





Top