Monatery Wedding Gift

Discussion in 'Budget Board' started by nicolet, Aug 7, 2017.

  1. marcyleecorgan

    marcyleecorgan DIS Veteran

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    I'm an odd sentimentalist, so I would give some amount of money that was symbolically significant in their lives. :)

    Like if their favorite fast-food combos together always cost $18.73 at date nights - I'd give them $187.30 or add zeros as appropriate!
     
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  2. DisneyHardin

    DisneyHardin DIS Veteran

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    I want to get remarried and invite you all to my wedding for these big monetary gifts!!!! We got married 9 years ago and the largest cash gift was $100 from my Grandma. Most people gave us $25-50. We also had a gift table and I would say we were about 50/50 on money gifts and registry gifts.
     
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  4. Dsny4fun

    Dsny4fun Mouseketeer

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    I agree with those that say $300-500. If it were my nephew (i only have one) It would be $500
     
  5. jo-jo

    jo-jo DIS Veteran

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    Our 40th is in the spring. I want a vow renewal and invite all you people.

    I'd say we would give a give about a $100. Maybe less. I don't care if you hired someone to cut up my food at the reception, I'd be just as happy being at your wedding eating food from BJs. That was your choice to plan that way.

    I feel like I'm the cheapest person on earth, reading some of these gifts.
     
  6. DisneyHardin

    DisneyHardin DIS Veteran

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    I'm glad I'm not the only one!!! I think $50 is the most I've ever given for a wedding gift.
     
  7. CalDisneyMomof2

    CalDisneyMomof2 DIS Veteran

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    I'm right there with you! $50 is usually my go to. But the weddings we go to it's still tradition to do a dollar dance (not sure if others do this?). If it's my family member I'll give $20. So $70 all together. The most I've ever given is $300 to my own brother but it was really because they weren't planning on having chairs at their wedding (on a big lawn) and I gave him some extra money to pay for chairs (c'mon, middle of July in Southern California - you NEED chairs!). Otherwise, CLOSE family members is around $100 and distant cousins etc. $50.

    I was happy when we would get $50 at our own wedding and that was just 9 1/2 years ago :laughing: My sister gave me $200 and my brother gave me $300. Otherwise, $25, $40, $50, $60 and a few $100. Someone got us a hamburger press that my husband and I still laugh about to this day - and we didn't even register for it :rotfl:
     
  8. Mackenzie Click-Mickelson

    Mackenzie Click-Mickelson DIS Veteran

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    We went to a wedding with a dollar dance but it was like 7/8 years ago?? Haven't been to one since then that had that.

    Please tell me you made usage out of the hamburger press at least once!

    *We got a wok (because come on it's a wok) and we've only used it like 2 times in the over 4 years that we've been married.

    As far as wedding traditions go registries have been at every single wedding I've been to (all of them for Bed Bath and Beyond and some added places like Crate & Barrel or Target) and that's where the majority of wedding gifts come from. A table is at every single wedding too for the gifts though it's more and more common to just have the place ship it to the (edited) bride and groom.
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2017
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  9. mjkacmom

    mjkacmom DIS Veteran

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    Keep in mind that for those of us in the NYC metro area, $300 is worth a lot less than in other areas. Starter homes are easily $350,000, median income in my state is around $72,000, to be considered upper middle class, $140,000.
     
  10. Mackenzie Click-Mickelson

    Mackenzie Click-Mickelson DIS Veteran

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    Well I live in the most affulent county in my state-median income in 2015 was nearly $83,000 for a household vs the state is nearly $43,000 (these are 2015 figures though) but it wouldn't really make a good argument on how much money to give someone as a wedding gift. In truth we all live differently even in high-priced areas.
     
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  11. usnuzuloose

    usnuzuloose Loosing Boo Boo

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    When I got remarried I wanted the guests to have a good time. It was not all about me. I asked for nothing, wanted nothing. I wanted to enjoy their company. Some people are not grateful for what they get. I remember the one woman as our guest she never had crab, and we had the buffet, married in reno. I enjoyed watching her go get more crab. She was thrilled.
     
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  12. CalDisneyMomof2

    CalDisneyMomof2 DIS Veteran

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    I live in Southern California (Orange County) - I know all about costly areas :laughing: Starter homes $350,000??? That gets you a 1 bedroom condo here :guilty: And median income in the OC is about $80k. Anyway, I'd still say average wedding gift is $50-$100 unless it's a VERY close relative.
     
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  13. mjkacmom

    mjkacmom DIS Veteran

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    But you do have low property taxes compared to NJ, we pay $10,000 a year for that $350,000 home. It seems like the average cost of weddings varies greatly, too.
    https://www.valuepenguin.com/average-cost-of-wedding
     
  14. Mackenzie Click-Mickelson

    Mackenzie Click-Mickelson DIS Veteran

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    The link you gave isn't for wedding guests to look at how much they should give it's for couples planning a wedding to have some sort of idea for a budget. So I'm not sure what you're really trying to show here as the audience for the link is for the couple getting married not the guest.

    If you are trying to give that to show the per guest for the actualy guest your link included 5 most expensive things that go into it....one of them being your engagement ring (which is listed as the second most cost)..........you really think you should look at someone's engagement ring and calculate that into your wedding gift??
     
  15. speedyfishy

    speedyfishy Earning My Ears

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    Here in NY friends give about $50-100 a person for a sweet sixteen. Family members typically give more than that. I definitely would not give $50-100 for a wedding. But it is a regional thing.
     
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  16. oneandonlytara

    oneandonlytara Earning My Ears

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    If I'm attending, I usually give $100 to cover my plate. If I get invited to the wedding shower as well, my gift budget is around $50-$60.

    When I stood in my best friend's wedding last year as MoH, I gave $100 for a shower gift, paid for her and I to go to Vegas just the two of us a few months before her wedding for three days (flight+hotel and her ticket to the show we saw, she was responsible for her meals and whatever else she wanted to spend) as a "I'm so happy you're getting married and I love you" gift and the small bachelorette she had at a spa (bridal party paid for their own services but I provided food and drinks after at my place) so when it came to the actual wedding day, I didn't give anything because I felt I'd given enough already.
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2017
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  17. LongLiveRafiki

    LongLiveRafiki Mouseketeer

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    I guess I'm cheap... Well, also young and raising small kids so expendable money isn't particularly plentiful. I give a gift(s) once, as in if I go to a shower, they get their gift there, and if I only go to the wedding, they get their gift at the wedding. I don't give two gifts. I try to use sales/ coupons/ discounted gift cards to buy things from the registry to be able to give more for less. I generally spend around $50 on close friends and family, but because of discounts, the value is usually closer to $75-$100. While it would be nice if I could give more, I don't feel guilty because it's what I can afford, and I try to include something homemade too, like candles, soap, or chocolates.

    The last wedding I went to was for my dad and he received a really old pair of Vans shoes that I had worn for years that had duct tape over the toes because they were so worn out. I loved those things :love:. He hated them with a fiery passion :sad2:. So my present was to let him throw them away. He loved it! We didn't give them anything else, but he didn't give us anything when we got married either. It did cost us about $500 for the hotel and gas to go to his wedding though. And we spent a rather obscene amount of money on fireworks to launch during the reception (it was in his yard in the country), so I guess you could count that as a gift :rolleyes1.
     
  18. kymom99

    kymom99 DIS Veteran

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    I understand where you are coming from. I also have been in the position where I didn't have much to spend so tried using coupons, etc. to get a nice gift for less. Bed bath and beyond will deliver for free so I like to order from them. I feel like if it's a real gift they can open, it brings more thought even if it doesn't cost a lot. Also when couples do a wedding website it usually has their registry for people to find a gift. I agree with others, it really varies by region.

    Off topic but a strange situation I encountered. A family member on my husband's side was getting married. I attended a shower and bought a nice gift. The wedding was several states away so we weren't going to attend. I sent a gift to their house. A couple weeks before the wedding they called it off. Then a year later she married someone else. We got an invitation to the wedding along with a link to a "honeyfund". I gave a nominal amount because I didn't want it to seem like we didn't wish them well but....
     
  19. LongLiveRafiki

    LongLiveRafiki Mouseketeer

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    Wow, that's a strange scenario and I have no idea what I would do. I don't know, maybe since she presumably didn't get monetary gifts the first time since the wedding was called off, it's more acceptable to have just a honeyfund for the second one? Personally, I find the concept of multiple gifts for weddings kinda crazy. It's not just the shower and wedding gift. Some people do engagement party gifts, bachelor/bachelorette party gifts, rehearsal dinner gifts... I tend to spend a little more on baby shower gifts than I do for weddings as it makes more sense to me. Generally when people get married, they have each lived alone for a while and accumulated household items to bring into the marriage. With a first baby, there's so much new stuff that has to be bought.
     
  20. kymom99

    kymom99 DIS Veteran

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    Back in the dark ages when I got married, wedding showers were for giving household items. We got things like a laundry basket or clothes hamper. For the wedding we got flatwear, glasses, etc.
     
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  21. AllyBri

    AllyBri DIS Veteran

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    I am guessing they are not inviting you for the gift you give, but want you to be there so they can share their day with you.

    NY weddings are expensive, it's that "cover the plate". We just sent a check to people getting married and we are not able to attend, sent them $400. But no airfare or hotel, that was a big savings.
     

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