New Party Trend: The Fiver Party... Your Thoughts?

No.

A) You’re essentially requiring me to bring a gift.
B) You’re dictating what kind of gift I should give.
C) You want your kid to have a “big gift,” pony up and buy it yourself.

Or I'm saying I don't really want a gift at all. DD9 still has birthday gifts from friends that are not out of the packages. They will either be regifted or donated. Many people feel the need to bring a gift to a party really all that is they the birthday child wants is a fun time with their friends.
 
That’s my thing. This new trend of begging for $ for weddings, honeymoons & now kids’ parties is obnoxious to me. As parents (and close family), we’ll get the big present DS really wants & I don’t need donations from other parents for it. I don’t expect anyone to bring a present at all & by telling ppl what present to bring ($5), it implies you expect a present.

I just handed my pregnant neighbor $260 bucks. She asked what's that for? I said I'm pre paying. A Ten spot for the baby shower, a fiver for 10 fiver birthday parties, and $200 for the eventual wedding. I told her that $200 was to cover my plate and if it more than covers my plate I expect a refund.
 
Or I'm saying I don't really want a gift at all. DD9 still has birthday gifts from friends that are not out of the packages. They will either be regifted or donated. Many people feel the need to bring a gift to a party really all that is they the birthday child wants is a fun time with their friends.
I think that is the mentality behind these parties.

My son is 14 mo - too little to be thinking and planning parties yet but I'm so intrigued by the responses.
 
Or I'm saying I don't really want a gift at all. DD9 still has birthday gifts from friends that are not out of the packages. They will either be regifted or donated. Many people feel the need to bring a gift to a party really all that is they the birthday child wants is a fun time with their friends.
If you’re telling me in the invite to bring five bucks, you’re telling me to bring a gift. If you want no gifts then state “no gifts.”

I do get the rest of what you’re saying. When I turned four my grandmother invited my primary class (first and last class party I ever had, HATED it) and I got, I kid you not, fifteen little pink purses. They must have been on sale or something, lol. Not sure what Grandma did with them, probably gave them to the little girls who gave them to me. But yeah, it was all pointless and useless.

I’ve never thrown my kids class parties and rarely send them to class parties. They get to invite a couple of good friends for an outing or movie night or something like that and if they go to a party it’s for someone they actually know and are friends with. Like a PP I take them and let them pick something out. Hopefully it’s something they’ll appreciate since they know the kid and presumably know what they like.

Here (in grade school anway) if you hand out invites in school you have to invite the entire class. With 30-40 kids at $5 a pop it comes off as a money grab.
 


It’s almost like people around here don’t want anybody to actually enjoy their gifts. The so many rules and people seem so caught up in “don’t tell me what to do.”

I don’t know anybody who shows up (generally, there are exceptions due to circumstance) to a kid’s bday party without a gift. They’re expected so saying having a $5 party is demanding a gift is kind of silly IMO. All kids parties are basically “a money/gift grab” as this board calls it.

I think it’s great and likely coming from parents who are the younger generations balking at over consumption and consumerist culture. its a way to do one big gift and not have a bunch of unwanted toys to try to get rid of or keep for re-gifting. Let’s face it-duplicate gifts and stuff the family/kid doesn’t want is a reality of most bday parties.

Saying you don’t want to supplement the parents and it’s their job to buy a big gift is kind of missing the point. Sure they could-but most people won’t show up to a bday party empty handed even when a “no gifts” request is made. Etiquette is usually quite strong with the “don’t show up empty handed” so $5 is really reasonable and it keeps from having excess of toys.

Every time one of these types of threads pop up I’m kind of amazed. It sounds like some people are really resentful that gift giving is a custom so anything to ensure the recipient gets something they want or fits their lifestyle is sacrilege. It’s truly bizarre to me. The gifts I give people come from a place of wanting them to enjoy so if they tell me we really want x,y,z or we’re saving for x big thing then why wouldn’t I give them something towards that knowing it would bring them joy and fulfill a want?
 
It’s almost like people around here don’t want anybody to actually enjoy their gifts. The so many rules and people seem so caught up in “don’t tell me what to do.”

I don’t know anybody who shows up (generally, there are exceptions due to circumstance) to a kid’s bday party without a gift. They’re expected so saying having a $5 party is demanding a gift is kind of silly IMO. All kids parties are basically “a money/gift grab” as this board calls it.

I think it’s great and likely coming from parents who are the younger generations balking at over consumption and consumerist culture. its a way to do one big gift and not have a bunch of unwanted toys to try to get rid of or keep for re-gifting. Let’s face it-duplicate gifts and stuff the family/kid doesn’t want is a reality of most bday parties.

Saying you don’t want to supplement the parents and it’s their job to buy a big gift is kind of missing the point. Sure they could-but most people won’t show up to a bday party empty handed even when a “no gifts” request is made. Etiquette is usually quite strong with the “don’t show up empty handed” so $5 is really reasonable and it keeps from having excess of toys.

Every time one of these types of threads pop up I’m kind of amazed. It sounds like some people are really resentful that gift giving is a custom so anything to ensure the recipient gets something they want or fits their lifestyle is sacrilege. It’s truly bizarre to me. The gifts I give people come from a place of wanting them to enjoy so if they tell me we really want x,y,z or we’re saving for x big thing then why wouldn’t I give them something towards that knowing it would bring them joy and fulfill a want?

I agree with the bolded. We all know people are going to bring gifts we can say we "don't expect" them but the fact is we do because we know people aren't going to show up empty handed.

I have no problem with a kid getting what they want, but yes I do have an issue with a parent pretty much taking the kid's monetary gifts in order to buy the gift "from them". That is no different than throwing the receipt for the gift you already bought in the middle of the table and having the guests "split the bill". That to me is the tacky part of this.
 


If you’re telling me in the invite to bring five bucks, you’re telling me to bring a gift. If you want no gifts then state “no gifts.”

I do get the rest of what you’re saying. When I turned four my grandmother invited my primary class (first and last class party I ever had, HATED it) and I got, I kid you not, fifteen little pink purses. They must have been on sale or something, lol. Not sure what Grandma did with them, probably gave them to the little girls who gave them to me. But yeah, it was all pointless and useless.

I’ve never thrown my kids class parties and rarely send them to class parties. They get to invite a couple of good friends for an outing or movie night or something like that and if they go to a party it’s for someone they actually know and are friends with. Like a PP I take them and let them pick something out. Hopefully it’s something they’ll appreciate since they know the kid and presumably know what they like.

Here (in grade school anway) if you hand out invites in school you have to invite the entire class. With 30-40 kids at $5 a pop it comes off as a money grab.
30 -40 kids! Parents get crazy if class sizes go over 20 here.
 
I agree with the bolded. We all know people are going to bring gifts we can say we "don't expect" them but the fact is we do because we know people aren't going to show up empty handed.
Here (in grade school anway) if you hand out invites in school you have to invite the entire class. With 30-40 kids at $5 a pop it comes off as a money grab.

This is the exact reason why these twoonie and fiver parties are becoming popular. If you HAVE to invite the whole class now, it's 20-25 Plastic toy gifts,(I don't know of any class in elementary school that is 30-40 kids. Max by law is 25 even in Secondary school) because even when you say "No gifts", guests don't respect that either. By saying it's a Twoonie or Fiver party, it gives the gifter an option of still giving a gift, without the huge waste of more plastic stuff kids don't need.
 
It certainly saves parents time instead of going to try to figure out what little Kayla or Devin is interested in and then dragging their kid to the store, etc.
 
30 -40 kids! Parents get crazy if class sizes go over 20 here.

My son's grade school has up to 60 kids in it, divided up into 3 20-student classes (at least in the elementary grades, before they start switching classrooms for subjects). If you wanted to pass out an invitation in school, and friends were in other classrooms, you essentially had to invite the whole grade.

Thankfully, our school put out family directories so you could e-mail out invites directly to those you wanted to invite.
 
30 -40 kids! Parents get crazy if class sizes go over 20 here.
Yep. Was like that when I was a kid too. We’re a transient city, new kids everyday. DD told me the other day her choir class went up to 52.
 
The fiver party is blowing up in my mommy groups... here's the gist.

Instead of buying a gift for the birthday child, you give the kiddo a card with a $5 bill inside. This $5 goes to cover a "big" present that the child has been wanting and the parents bought.

A cute little note is dictated on the invite so parents know 1. what a fiver party is and 2. that this party is one.

So, my DIS etiquette queens (and kings!), what say you?
That is nothing new where I come from. All my kids parties were like that. Though from 4-6 grade more a ten-er party. Usually a card and some sweets. Are with boys we gave a pringles can. Pringles got them excited. Group gift was tokd wordvof mouth to other parents.
 
Hell no! I’m not contributing to a gift from the parents. Don’t tell me what to give as a gift
No it’s not the parents gift. They buy on others behalf. The way it works by us. Most cases kids bday is a week day. Family only gathers. Kid gets gift from parents etcc. The folliwing weekend or later is bday kid party. No family. Group gift then given.
 
Anything which specifies the gift you want is tacky. BUT.....Maybe offered as an alternative??? I think back to when DD19 was in preschool and beyond, and we usually spent $20-25 per gift. I'd have been thrilled to hand over $5 or $10. The worst was when she invited almost 30 kids to her party at a play venue, thinking half would show up at best. (Her entire kindergarten class + 4 friends from an activity + a few family friends) Instead, 25 kids showed up, each bringing $20-30 gifts. She was an only child. There really IS such a thing as too many toys. We wound up donating many of them. It was very kind of people, but no 6 year old needs 25 gifts, on top of all the family gifts, on top of all they already had. $5 each would have been $75 and that would have been fine.
 
No it’s not the parents gift. They buy on others behalf. The way it works by us. Most cases kids bday is a week day. Family only gathers. Kid gets gift from parents etcc. The folliwing weekend or later is bday kid party. No family. Group gift then given.
If the group gift is given at the party, does that mean the guests have to pay up before the party so the parent can purchase it? Does Mom put her Venmo info in the invite for parents to contribute. Why not just set up a gofundme for the birthday child? Same principle, asking for money for someone.

But then, I am against all money grabbing "customs." And thankfully my children agree with me so there will be no money dance at the weddings, no honeymoon fund, or any other entitlement activity. They will be thankful and polite for any gift a dear friend or relative chooses to give them.

Part of receiving gifts is the valuable life lesson of learning how to be a polite person, still smiling and politely saying "thank you" while unwrapping the 15th pink purse. Did you want 15 pink purses? Probably not. But learning the act of accepting graciously and politely a gift someone has chosen to give you is a skill that is vitally important. The entitlement mentality of "gimme, gimme only what I want" is just sad.
 
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I'm not one for liking to take direction from people when it comes to choices I should be able to make, but in this case, if some crazy mom wants me to stick 5 bucks in a card and give it to her kid for their birthday, I'd be all over it.
 
I'm not one for liking to take direction from people when it comes to choices I should be able to make, but in this case, if some crazy mom wants me to stick 5 bucks in a card and give it to her kid for their birthday, I'd be all over it.
While I would think it tacky as hell, I would also be all over it. BUT...I see it quickly devolving into another power competition between the mommy crowd that usually thinks up these things. If the party was supposed to be a "fiver," the mommy crowd would try to outdo each other by throwing in a $10, $20, or even a $50. And then figure out a way to let it slip how much "they" contributed to the big gift. So, as I think about it, I would not be all over it because the peer pressure to put more than $5 in would be intense. I would not play and have my child pick out a nice gift.
 
"No gift" parties do not work here. A few people comply and bring no gift. The rest show up with gifts and make the no gift crowd feel awkward.
 
All for it. Just took my son to a party last week with about 25 kids and there was just big pile of presents in the living room. All I could think about was how were they gonna get rid of all that junk. We give gift cards. I would gladly do a fiver.

Edit: Maybe put on the invite to not buy presents and that if you would like, you could do the "fiver" that way it doesn't seem like a demand.
 

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