Odd things your Dad said many years ago

[DuskKodesh]

My dad always said "There's three things you always buy name brand. Soda, laundry detergent, and condoms."

As an adult now I can't fault him on that. He was right. Also for my entire life if anyone asked him how he was he'd always always say "Kind, sweet, and thankful, but I lie a little bit."

 

[auntfrannie]

My dad's favorite when the kids were being to rowdy: This laughing is gonna turn to crying!
He was usually right. Three boys and three girls always landed someone with hurt feelings. Or injuries. Take your pick.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

Also for my entire life if anyone asked him how he was he'd always always say "Kind, sweet, and thankful, but I lie a little bit."

That reminds me: if someone asked my Dad how he was, he'd say "I'm on the right side of the grass."

 

[RUDisney]

Taking it back a generation, I used to have to go to the neighborhood bar to find my DGF for dinner, or if DGM needed him. He called this location "the beer garden." If he was going to a funeral home, he was going to the "corpse house."

 

[firegurl]

To give the background, my Dad was a police officer in the 70's in West Baltimore. It was not a nice place to be (not that it's great right now either) and it was a different time. A lot of the stuff from "The Wire" came from his days in the department. His partner was also shot and killed in a standoff by a sniper so to say he is a little hardened and jaded is an understatement. My dad still says, "Show me someone who fights fair and I will show you someone who lost a fight."
He was right, life isn't fare and sometimes you just have to stick up for yourself.

He was also a big fan of telling me that he had eyes everywhere. Boy did he. I couldn't get away with anything.

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

When I was in my late teens and early 20s my Dad would tell (caution) me , “There’s no place worth being after midnight.” I’ve found those words to be quite accurate.

I adored my parents and miss them terribly.

In a similar vein, my friend's Dad told him "Nothing good happens after 10:30 p.m."

 

[nordkin]

Two of his sayings were: Can’t means you don’t want to. And - I don’t argue with someone more ignorant than me because I won’t learn anything.

 

[serenitynow]

Oil is the lifeblood of your engine.

 

[Wayland10]

“You give these kids an education and what do they do? They think with it!”

 

[KMarston]

“People who panic die!” “We don’t slam doors in my house girls” “Never buy cheap shoes or cheap electronics.” “There are no lawyers in Mexico” “Hey! It’s storming and your windows are rolled up!” “You should listen more closely.”

 

[Julie's Haircut]

My father said everyone should have voted for Barry Goldwater in 1964.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

"Shut the door, you don't live in a barn!"

 

[we"reofftoneverland]

“Sh— or get off the pot.”

Classy. Ugh.

 

[mom2rb]

When I was young and he knew that I had been up to no good the night before, he would wake me up early and say “If you want to run with the big dogs at night, you can’t lay with the puppies in the morning.”

 

[fly girl]

One night after dinner my mom asked us, "do you girls want ice cream for dessert?"

My dad, without skipping a beat, said, "Do bears **** in the woods."

We all just about fell off our chairs laughing because we didn't see that coming. From then on, if anything was a "given" but asked anyway, I would say, "do bears poop in the woods!"

 

[klacey1]

My dad loved to casually drop that Free Masons are a Satanic cult.

 

[MomOfDisneyPrincess]

If the streets were icy my Dad would say, "They're slicker than snot on a greased doorknob!"

 

[low-key]

One night after dinner my mom asked us, "do you girls want ice cream for dessert?"

My dad, without skipping a beat, said, "Do bears **** in the woods."

We all just about fell off our chairs laughing because we didn't see that coming. From then on, if anything was a "given" but asked anyway, I would say, "do bears poop in the woods!"

you know, i have the same story, but my dad never cussed (hardly) and one time me and my buddy both 16 ) were talkign to him, and he said to me " does a bear **** in the woods", I just smiled and didnt say anyhting and he said "well Jay, does it ?" and I said "I guess" lol, never forgot it

 

[Sabeking]

When we were kids and told to turn off the tv he would say , “ someone turn off the idiot box!”

 

[disneyeveryyear]

When speaking, if someone said "Well....." My dad would reply, "That's a deep subject."