Parents of the Class of 2019

[mjkacmom]

Add my DD to the list of kids just wanting to be done. She's still focusing well enough in class and had an excellent first semester, and she's beyond anxious for softball to get rolling, but she's just DONE with her school, the uniforms, the small town we live in, all the stuff that didn't bother her four years ago when she chose the small private school over a bigger, more diverse public option. She cut her hair right before Snowcoming and I think at this point it is about pushing the limits as much as being about fashion. The pixie cut looks great on her, but she's been seeing how much she can get away with in terms of metallic hair chalk, not going out of her way to hide her tongue ring, "forgetting" to take the earring out of her cartilage piercing, etc. too. Her class also successfully lobbied for the return of senior quotes in the yearbook, after several years without because a previous class made it into a big fight, so she's pondering how subversive she can get away with being on that without crossing any lines. It is kind of funny watching her do her form of rebellion, because she's always been a really good, easy-going kid and even in this she hasn't done anything she didn't warn me about or anything I'd object to.

We've had 9 snow days in the last 3 weeks, only one of them for actual snow, so there's a bit of cabin fever going on around here too, the kids getting on each other's nerves, everyone sick of "virtual" school days (they have to log on to Google Classroom and work on bad-weather days once we exceed the 5 that are built into the year), me climbing the walls trying to work at home without the quiet of an empty house. So that's not helping either. Right now, the weather forecast looks uneventful for the foreseeable future and I'm really hoping it stays that way!

Lol I can’t see dd18 ever doing anything rebellious, but dd22 recently got a nose ring and dyed her beautiful blond hair this weird strawberry blonde (after having it cut from waist length to a short bob). In HS she ran with the smart choir theater crowd, attended a very large diverse public university, and now that she’s about to start her real job as a CPA in a few months, wants to be different (knowing the hair and nose ring will be gone). Let her enjoy it now, I told dd22 she missed the boat (DH and I were pretty rebellious in HS, none of our kids are, they compete against each other getting better grades and doing better in sports). Senior year is the perfect time!

 

[design_mom]

My DD is burnt out! She has all A's but is really in her words "done with high school" LOL.

This sounds like my son, too. Grades are still high (including 4 APs), so I can't complain. But he's "done" and has developed very low tolerance for anything he considers "busy work." He's got a job and winter track practices, so he's staying busy. I want him to start working on scholarship opportunities and he keeps saying "I will. I will." but so far he hasn't done much. One of his top choices gave him more scholarship money than we anticipated. He "earned it" with his ACT scores, so even if he doesn't end up with anymore money, I'm still proud of what he's gotten.

 

[tink1970]

Well, DD was accepted to UF. Now if I could only convince her to stay “close” (5 hrs away) to home! It would work best financially but I don’t know if she’s convinced it’s for her. The last 2 (her first and second choices) aren’t released until April 1. Still a lot of waiting here.

 

[Colleen27]

Lol I can’t see dd18 ever doing anything rebellious, but dd22 recently got a nose ring and dyed her beautiful blond hair this weird strawberry blonde (after having it cut from waist length to a short bob). In HS she ran with the smart choir theater crowd, attended a very large diverse public university, and now that she’s about to start her real job as a CPA in a few months, wants to be different (knowing the hair and nose ring will be gone). Let her enjoy it now, I told dd22 she missed the boat (DH and I were pretty rebellious in HS, none of our kids are, they compete against each other getting better grades and doing better in sports). Senior year is the perfect time!

My daughter takes after me - she's smart and a high achiever but she has some issues with authority, especially when she feels like it is arbitrary. My friends who knew me at her age used to joke that my kids would rebel by dressing like Abercrombie models and pursuing MBAs, but so far that hasn't happened. Like me, DD is going into a field where she'll have a bit of latitude for being "odd"/different as long as she's good at her work so she won't necessarily have to take on a conservative look when she is done with school. But the dress code at her school is really strict - uniforms, no unnatural hair colors or long hair on boys, only one piercing per ear and none on boys, no other piercings or tattoos, etc. So she pushes the limits where she can but she can only go so far. And she has a strict no-tattoos personal limit because of her desire to go back to Japan to stay; they're still really taboo in Japanese society and would need to be covered in most public situations, and she doesn't feel like it is worth the hassle.

Well, DD was accepted to UF. Now if I could only convince her to stay “close” (5 hrs away) to home! It would work best financially but I don’t know if she’s convinced it’s for her. The last 2 (her first and second choices) aren’t released until April 1. Still a lot of waiting here.

A lot of waiting here too. We are likely to hear from at least one of her choices later this month, but the one she is waiting on will be the very very end of March based on past years, and she's not going to commit anywhere before getting that decision.

 

[PollyannaMom]

DS pretty much has it narrowed down to two schools, and we are planning second visits to both of those, plus one we haven't seen yet. He has been accepted to all of them, and they all have May 1st deadlines for committing.

DH was looking at the letters, and is seeing stuff about putting in housing deposits sooner rather than later to get good rooms (and that they are refundable until May 1st) but I was under the impression you could only "say yes" to one school.

Is the housing deposit separate from committing to go to the school, or am I right that he needs to wait until he has decided where he wants to go?

 

[bigbabyblues]

The housing deposits for the school DS chose, the other one he was accepted to and the one he didn't finish the application for were all refundable until May 1. We were planning to put a deposit at two schools while he decided, until he decided not to finish the application. His choice between the two would likely come down to financial offers.

Because everything has been falling down around us, we haven't paid his housing deposit yet but are hoping to next week. He said he claimed his student ID# with chosen school the other day, so maybe that means he is official? I'm not sure.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

DD is also “done”. Trying hard to make it another 3 months without telling her Spanish teacher how much she despises her despite loving the subject itself LOL

 

[tink1970]

DD is also “done”. Trying hard to make it another 3 months without telling her Spanish teacher how much she despises her despite loving the subject itself LOL

My DD has had the same Spanish teacher for the past 3 years (and she's terrible). DD doesn't even consider Spanish a class...sadly her transcript does! She got more out of living in Spain for 3 weeks than 3 years of classroom instruction, which I know isn't unusual but seems like a waste of classroom time. For better or worse, her last day of instruction is May 1 so if we subtract holidays and out of school sanctioned days, she has 47 days in class left. So exciting!

 

[bigbabyblues]

What is it with Spanish? DS doesn't like the subject or the teacher. He is trying his best to keep an A in the class so he won't have to take the final exam.

 

[thiabelle]

I just need to be around some folks who understand... DD is an only and her dad travels an extreme amount of time so it's just the two of us and I am trying to hold everything together. DD was accepted to UF (and FSU). I didn't think I would take it as hard that she prefers UF to FSU and that we would become a divided household. Her dad is the FSU alum and is taking it better than I am. I guess I always knew it would work this way but now that it is real it's tough.

 

[design_mom]

@thiabelle -- Are you a UF alum? Sorry she's leaning toward the other school.

My alma mater is one of DS's top choices... but I really think the other school in his Top 2 would be a better fit for him. We're going to look at both again.

@PollyannasMom -- I thought the same as you: That you have to pay your university deposit (which you only do to one school) before gaining access to any of the housing things.

 

[laughinplace199]

DS pretty much has it narrowed down to two schools, and we are planning second visits to both of those, plus one we haven't seen yet. He has been accepted to all of them, and they all have May 1st deadlines for committing.

DH was looking at the letters, and is seeing stuff about putting in housing deposits sooner rather than later to get good rooms (and that they are refundable until May 1st) but I was under the impression you could only "say yes" to one school.

Is the housing deposit separate from committing to go to the school, or am I right that he needs to wait until he has decided where he wants to go?

I think it depends on the school. DD19 didn't get any info about housing or putting down deposits from any of the schools that she was considering. Once she chose a school, we put down the deposit but there was no separate deposit for housing and dorm/room assignment was random.

 

[bjscheel]

DD's school doesn't have an enrollment deposit but we put in a (refundable) housing deposit on the first possible day. What I've read on College Confidential leads me to believe it's okay to have more than one housing deposit in but not more than one enrollment deposit, but it obviously varies whether there is one or not. To me if it's refundable I think they expect undecided kids to be depositing.

Re: Spanish- DD loved the class and wishes she had it this year. However, our Spanish teacher left after last year and he wasn't replaced. We have no foreign language classes. Now you have to take it online which is not ideal and DD refused to do it.

Another senior pic session today. Can't wait to see them. We had a good snow this morning but it was calm and 30º in the afternoon so she even got a lot of outdoor winter pics, along with some from inside the botanical center.

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

CODisneyfreaks- DS's car is a '98 and does the same thing. I'm over these freezing temps in NE!

DS has his absolute hardest semester ever so he's trying to juggle keeping his grades up. He got frustrated at lax practice and threatened to quit. I hope we can get him through the last season because I love to watch him play. He does not plan to play in college. He really wants a job and we finally convinced him that it just doesn't make sense.

I think one school will have decisions out next week and the rest in late March. It will be so nice once he can make a decision!!!

We're going to be in NE tomorrow, visiting Nebraska Wesleyan in Lincoln. They've really been courting DD hard, and since they just put in a new $30M lab facility, she's decided to go take a look, even if they might be smaller than what she's looking for.

 

[tink1970]

I just need to be around some folks who understand... DD is an only and her dad travels an extreme amount of time so it's just the two of us and I am trying to hold everything together. DD was accepted to UF (and FSU). I didn't think I would take it as hard that she prefers UF to FSU and that we would become a divided household. Her dad is the FSU alum and is taking it better than I am. I guess I always knew it would work this way but now that it is real it's tough.

It's tough, I'm sure. DD was accepted to both UF and FSU, too and financially it would be awesome for us (renovate the kitchen and bathrooms! Travel!) but she wants to get as far away from Florida as possible. Her father and I have been divorced for 13 years and my DH works out of town so 5 days a week it's just the two of us...so I totally understand losing your only child and primary housemate. On the bright side (?) Gainesville is at least in state, whereas my DD is hoping to be in Boston and has already warned me not to expect her home for Thanksgiving.

 

[Hillbeans]

DS pretty much has it narrowed down to two schools, and we are planning second visits to both of those, plus one we haven't seen yet. He has been accepted to all of them, and they all have May 1st deadlines for committing.

DH was looking at the letters, and is seeing stuff about putting in housing deposits sooner rather than later to get good rooms (and that they are refundable until May 1st) but I was under the impression you could only "say yes" to one school.

Is the housing deposit separate from committing to go to the school, or am I right that he needs to wait until he has decided where he wants to go?

We are also in the same boat, we have the choices narrowed down to two (still waiting for one letter but that's probably 3rd choice now). the countdown is on!

 

[laughinplace199]

We are also in the same boat, we have the choices narrowed down to two (still waiting for one letter but that's probably 3rd choice now). the countdown is on!

We are still waiting for 5! I wish he had done more early action!

 

[thiabelle]

@thiabelle -- Are you a UF alum? Sorry she's leaning toward the other school.

It's tough, I'm sure. DD was accepted to both UF and FSU, too and financially it would be awesome for us (renovate the kitchen and bathrooms! Travel!) but she wants to get as far away from Florida as possible. Her father and I have been divorced for 13 years and my DH works out of town so 5 days a week it's just the two of us...so I totally understand losing your only child and primary housemate. On the bright side (?) Gainesville is at least in state, whereas my DD is hoping to be in Boston and has already warned me not to expect her home for Thanksgiving.

Thank you all so much. I didn't expect to get so emotional! DH is the FSU grad- I'm a UVA alum and honestly even if she got in there's no way in heck we would be able to pay the out of state tuition! That's some crazy high number (I now think of tuition in terms of the $12,000 VIP tour- how many times could I do that versus a year in college for her!!- I believe UVA is between six and seven tours )

I also don't live in Florida- we live in PA so I am going to be really far from her. The plus side is both her Nana and my parents live in FL and her dad is there when he's in the US. To say we have an interesting living arrangement is an understatement.

I keep repeating to myself that everything is going to be OK and thousands upon thousands of kiddos head off to college every year and are just fine. And if she does go to UF I might be able to afford to find five friends and do the super duper VIP tour!!!

 

[thiabelle]

oh criminy- I quoted myself. Sorry- i'm an idiot

 

[tink1970]

@thiabelle, it's going to get better! This is such a stressful time for the kids and as parents we just soak up their stress! If your DD does come to Florida, it will give you lots of reasons to escape PA weather! You can also visit your parents and if her grandparents are close then that's peace of mind if anything goes wrong...and peace of mind is priceless!!!

I the way you put tuition in terms of VIP tours...UVA would have been at least 6 I think so now I'm telling myself I'm glad DD didn't get in (not really but she wasn't what they were looking for apparently).

We are still waiting to hear from DD's top 2 and 1 would have no financial aid (so 6-7 VIP tours) while the other would have some (about 28%, aka 4.5 VIP tours) so I'm trying reeeeeeeaaaaalllly hard to not push UF which would be free for DD. In the end, most kids end up where they are happy and are supposed to be. And parents like us (single with onlies), well, we'll get to do new things, too. Both my mother and a good friend pointed out that Boston is close to Europe so with all the trips I'll make there if she gets her top choice, I can hop to Europe! I would have never considered that as I bemoan DD going (possibly) so far away. Silver linings!!!