Parents of the High School Class of 2017/College 2021

[robinb]

My daughter is finally home from all her traveling and working again- she gets a few days a week at the ice cream place she had worked at since she was 14 (they let her go back there every summer and break), she has done some product testing at Estee Lauder- she made 230.00 on Monday for just being there for 10 hours with make up on her face- they fed them catered breakfast, lunch and dinner and pay them, not bad. I have been doing that for years for extra money. And she has picked up a few acting jobs as extras- last week she filmed 2 towns over from us on The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt- they cast her because she fit the robot suit LOL, they needed someone under 5'1" and under 90 pounds and over 18 so she fit that role! Sunday she is filming on some other show I never heard of called Journal.

I forgot your DD was an actor! That's a pretty cool summer job .

 

[bethbuchall]

My daughter is finally home from all her traveling and working again- she gets a few days a week at the ice cream place she had worked at since she was 14 (they let her go back there every summer and break), she has done some product testing at Estee Lauder- she made 230.00 on Monday for just being there for 10 hours with make up on her face- they fed them catered breakfast, lunch and dinner and pay them, not bad. I have been doing that for years for extra money. And she has picked up a few acting jobs as extras- last week she filmed 2 towns over from us on The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt- they cast her because she fit the robot suit LOL, they needed someone under 5'1" and under 90 pounds and over 18 so she fit that role! Sunday she is filming on some other show I never heard of called Journal.

That is so neat! My son loves The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, so I've seen most of the episodes so far. I'll probably see that one when it comes out, too.

 

[dreamin_disney]

Didn't do much this summer. DD took 3 summer school classes. One class and 2 online classes. Her last class end on Sunday night when last test is due. I guess the teacher changed it to this Saturday night. The same teacher gave a lot of work. DD said a few people dropped out. My dd said it was a lot of work more like 2-3 times more than her two other classes. We thought Geography would be easy but depends on the teacher. She like her political science class and geology class.
DD has only gone out a few times with friends. They invite her out but she says she just wants to rest. I think after her final class she will be more willing to go out. Her friend is having a get together tomorrow night Saturday and she was back and forth about going . She says she will go for a little bit so we shall see.
She goes back to school in a month. Her 3rd roommate no longer showed up on the dorm status but there’s two new girls so it’s complete. Dd had me look ion the girls in fb( I know horrible stalker- lol) It turns out she's been in housing activities with them. She said they are nice so hopefully it works out. My DD's mate is someone from her program so she has a friend and the other two mates are friends so hopefully they all become friends. One of the new mates actually lives 3 cities away which is 20 mins away so they might be able to carpool. Campus is 1hr 30 mins=2 hours aways

 

[aprilgail]

That is so neat! My son loves The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, so I've seen most of the episodes so far. I'll probably see that one when it comes out, too.

It is the very last episode of the show since the series is ending- it won't air until April LOL-

 

[robinb]

It is the very last episode of the show since the series is ending- it won't air until April LOL-

You'll have to remind us when it airs!

 

[yeahdisney]

Poor DD after getting her wisdom teeth out Friday she was miserable late Saturday/Sunday. I could not get her comfortable and I was feeding her meds every three hours. I ran her back to the surgeon office today for their opening time and they had nobody in. So they sent us to a branch office another 45 minutes away. They were excellent, we luckily arrived during surgeries, and she did have a dry socket. They told her if she had a dry socket the treatment would work in one half hour, she slept all the way home.

She had woke me during the night, I had googled dry socket and found clove oil helps I was willing to drive the 50 miles to get it but the only store open was Walgreens and they did not carry it. I had clove powder but it did not help.

I wanted her to get them out befor the middle of August in case she had an issue.

 

[aprilgail]

Poor DD after getting her wisdom teeth out Friday she was miserable late Saturday/Sunday. I could not get her comfortable and I was feeding her meds every three hours. I ran her back to the surgeon office today for their opening time and they had nobody in. So they sent us to a branch office another 45 minutes away. They were excellent, we luckily arrived during surgeries, and she did have a dry socket. They told her if she had a dry socket the treatment would work in one half hour, she slept all the way home.

She had woke me during the night, I had googled dry socket and found clove oil helps I was willing to drive the 50 miles to get it but the only store open was Walgreens and they did not carry it. I had clove powder but it did not help.

I wanted her to get them out befor the middle of August in case she had an issue.

Oh boy that stinks! Hope she feels better soon- Dry Socket can last awhile-my daughter got it when she had hers removed too- they gave us big plastic syringes full of this nasty med to put in the socket until it closed up!

 

[AustinTink]

Hi- just got caught up reading everyone's updates. So many busy kids out there!

My son finished his freshman year with all A's and one A-. He was pretty bummed about the A-. UT's grading system calls a 90-93 an A-. I have no idea if that is the case at most other universities, but he was not happy with that 92.

At any rate, he is done with all his "basics" or whatever they are called these days. His advisor recommended he add a second major or he would find himself graduating in another year and a half. So he did. Now I'm wondering if he will get out in 4 years. He says it's perfectly doable. We shall see.

He has two jobs this summer, saving up for a computer that he can use for graphics and video production. His Macbook doesn't cut it apparently. Lots of long, hard days waiting tables but I know it has really opened his eyes to how good he has it as a full-time college student. He's getting a real-life education that he needed to experience.

Otherwise, it has been a boring summer around here. Hope all your students are excited to start back up in the fall!

 

[aprilgail]

Otherwise, it has been a boring summer around here. Hope all your students are excited to start back up in the fall!

Mine can't wait to get back to school! I am not looking forward to this year- Once she leaves I will see her for Columbus day weekend when she comes home with the boyfriend- then for thanksgiving they are going to the boyfriends parents. She will be home 2 weeks for Christmas and then she will be starting her work co-op job so she will be working full time from Jan 2nd-July 1st- so she won't be home anytime until July 1st after Christmas!

 

[AustinTink]

Mine can't wait to get back to school! I am not looking forward to this year- Once she leaves I will see her for Columbus day weekend when she comes home with the boyfriend- then for thanksgiving they are going to the boyfriends parents. She will be home 2 weeks for Christmas and then she will be starting her work co-op job so she will be working full time from Jan 2nd-July 1st- so she won't be home anytime until July 1st after Christmas!

I tell you, these kids are far busier than I was in college. They get a taste of the real world far earlier than I did back when.

My son will be studying abroad next summer, so I am truly enjoying our time together now.

 

[dreamin_disney]

Poor DD after getting her wisdom teeth out Friday she was miserable late Saturday/Sunday. I could not get her comfortable and I was feeding her meds every three hours. I ran her back to the surgeon office today for their opening time and they had nobody in. So they sent us to a branch office another 45 minutes away. They were excellent, we luckily arrived during surgeries, and she did have a dry socket. They told her if she had a dry socket the treatment would work in one half hour, she slept all the way home.

She had woke me during the night, I had googled dry socket and found clove oil helps I was willing to drive the 50 miles to get it but the only store open was Walgreens and they did not carry it. I had clove powder but it did not help.

I wanted her to get them out befor the middle of August in case she had an issue.

I had dry socket when I got mine out. It was awful and hurt so bad. I hope your daughter is feeling better.


My DD goes back in three weeks. We need a few things for her on campus apartment . It will mostly be kitchen stuff. I told her she needs to get in contact with the other girls she's rooming with and find out how they are going to work things out. I know the apartment has the basic fridge and stove but not sure about microwave. DD has a microwave, blender, and mini fridge with freezer. Two girls live by the college and the third lives an hour away. We live an hour and half away. Hopefully the apartment has a microwave or one of the girls that live near the school takes one. DD wants to take her mini fried with freezer to keep her drinks and favorite frozen stuff in her room. Only issue is the kitchen stuff like toaster, eating utensils, cookware, dishware. How do the kids do this for those that have kids that have already lived in apartments with 3 other room mates? I really hope all the girls get a long and respect each others stuff, that way when it comes to sharing kitchen stuff(if they decide to) things will be easier. All other stuff on their survery they answered they don't mind sharing as long as they are asked and it depends on the items

 

[Poohforyou]

Poor DD after getting her wisdom teeth out Friday she was miserable late Saturday/Sunday. I could not get her comfortable and I was feeding her meds every three hours. I ran her back to the surgeon office today for their opening time and they had nobody in. So they sent us to a branch office another 45 minutes away. They were excellent, we luckily arrived during surgeries, and she did have a dry socket. They told her if she had a dry socket the treatment would work in one half hour, she slept all the way home.

She had woke me during the night, I had googled dry socket and found clove oil helps I was willing to drive the 50 miles to get it but the only store open was Walgreens and they did not carry it. I had clove powder but it did not help.

I wanted her to get them out befor the middle of August in case she had an issue.

Oh no, I hope she's feeling a lot better now. My daughter had hers out last summer and was pretty uncomfortable for a few days. She lived off Panera chicken noodle soup.

 

[Poohforyou]

Mine can't wait to get back to school! I am not looking forward to this year- Once she leaves I will see her for Columbus day weekend when she comes home with the boyfriend- then for thanksgiving they are going to the boyfriends parents. She will be home 2 weeks for Christmas and then she will be starting her work co-op job so she will be working full time from Jan 2nd-July 1st- so she won't be home anytime until July 1st after Christmas!

Oh wow, that's a long time. I can commiserate, my daughter plans on studying abroad next year so it'll be a long time without seeing her.

 

[bjscheel]

My DD goes back in three weeks. We need a few things for her on campus apartment . It will mostly be kitchen stuff. I told her she needs to get in contact with the other girls she's rooming with and find out how they are going to work things out. I know the apartment has the basic fridge and stove but not sure about microwave. DD has a microwave, blender, and mini fridge with freezer. Two girls live by the college and the third lives an hour away. We live an hour and half away. Hopefully the apartment has a microwave or one of the girls that live near the school takes one. DD wants to take her mini fried with freezer to keep her drinks and favorite frozen stuff in her room. Only issue is the kitchen stuff like toaster, eating utensils, cookware, dishware. How do the kids do this for those that have kids that have already lived in apartments with 3 other room mates? I really hope all the girls get a long and respect each others stuff, that way when it comes to sharing kitchen stuff(if they decide to) things will be easier. All other stuff on their survery they answered they don't mind sharing as long as they are asked and it depends on the items

DD has shared a kitchen with 3 others the past year. Microwave was included. They have two refrigerators so they share those two by two, and they each have a section of the pantry and the cupboards. They all get along and are nice, but two have been more distant while DD and the other one have become BFFs. Generally DD uses just her own dishes/pans/silverware etc. They share her toaster and she brought a crockpot for everyone but I'm not sure it's ever been used. Someone else brought a toaster oven to share but DD has never tried it. They share condiments and cooking oil type stuff- things that would be silly to have 4 bottles of. Sometimes they cook a meal all together or DD will offer pieces of her frozen pizza but for the most part they each do their own food.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

I had dry socket when I got mine out. It was awful and hurt so bad. I hope your daughter is feeling better.


My DD goes back in three weeks. We need a few things for her on campus apartment . It will mostly be kitchen stuff. I told her she needs to get in contact with the other girls she's rooming with and find out how they are going to work things out. I know the apartment has the basic fridge and stove but not sure about microwave. DD has a microwave, blender, and mini fridge with freezer. Two girls live by the college and the third lives an hour away. We live an hour and half away. Hopefully the apartment has a microwave or one of the girls that live near the school takes one. DD wants to take her mini fried with freezer to keep her drinks and favorite frozen stuff in her room. Only issue is the kitchen stuff like toaster, eating utensils, cookware, dishware. How do the kids do this for those that have kids that have already lived in apartments with 3 other room mates? I really hope all the girls get a long and respect each others stuff, that way when it comes to sharing kitchen stuff(if they decide to) things will be easier. All other stuff on their survery they answered they don't mind sharing as long as they are asked and it depends on the items

My DS was in an apartment a couple of years ago and will be in a house this year. I tried to get him to coordinate with the other boys about kitchen, cleaning, and bathroom stuff (trashcan, shower curtain, etc). He just wouldn't do it. Finally I asked him to get the moms' email addresses from the boys, and I sent out an email. We all chimed in with what we had on hand or were willing to buy. I already had silverware, a set of corelle dishes, a set of pyrex and a cookie sheet, along with some other stuff. Once everyone chimed in, the kitchen was fully stocked (including paper towels, TP, dish soap, windex, stuff like that). The boys shared all the kitchen stuff with no problems. They all did their own grocery shopping and cooking. But they'd all pitch in for staples like milk, cooking oil. One boy would buy it, and they'd all give him some cash. For the electric bill, one mom opened the account. We all gave her $500 at the beginning of the year. She paid the bill each month and gave us back any extra money at the end of the lease.

DD is in an apartment this year. She and her roommates did a spread sheet of who was bringing what kitchen stuff all on their own. She just called me to see what kitchen stuff I'd already picked up for her and put it on the list. I started scouring the Goodwill and other thrift stores for kitchen stuff for both kids when DS got his apartment. She has silverware, a corelle dish set, corningware bakeware, pots and pans, and some other stuff. Her apartment has more utility bills than DS's did. Each girl will be in charge of a utility bill (setting up the account, paying the bill, collecting the money). I hope the bills get paid on time!!!

 

[mamamary]

My DS was in an apartment a couple of years ago and will be in a house this year. I tried to get him to coordinate with the other boys about kitchen, cleaning, and bathroom stuff (trashcan, shower curtain, etc). He just wouldn't do it. Finally I asked him to get the moms' email addresses from the boys, and I sent out an email. We all chimed in with what we had on hand or were willing to buy. I already had silverware, a set of corelle dishes, a set of pyrex and a cookie sheet, along with some other stuff. Once everyone chimed in, the kitchen was fully stocked (including paper towels, TP, dish soap, windex, stuff like that). The boys shared all the kitchen stuff with no problems. They all did their own grocery shopping and cooking. But they'd all pitch in for staples like milk, cooking oil. One boy would buy it, and they'd all give him some cash. For the electric bill, one mom opened the account. We all gave her $500 at the beginning of the year. She paid the bill each month and gave us back any extra money at the end of the lease.

DD is in an apartment this year. She and her roommates did a spread sheet of who was bringing what kitchen stuff all on their own. She just called me to see what kitchen stuff I'd already picked up for her and put it on the list. I started scouring the Goodwill and other thrift stores for kitchen stuff for both kids when DS got his apartment. She has silverware, a corelle dish set, corningware bakeware, pots and pans, and some other stuff. Her apartment has more utility bills than DS's did. Each girl will be in charge of a utility bill (setting up the account, paying the bill, collecting the money). I hope the bills get paid on time!!!

My son will be in a 4 bedroom apartment this year. He knows the name of one roommate but that's it. They have had contact info for each other for at least 2/3 weeks. The apt. complex will be sending contact info about the other two boys by the end of the month. The kitchen has a fridge/stove/microwave/dishwasher but they will need to (hopefully) coordinate everything else. There are two bathrooms so that also needs to be coordinated. The apt. is furnished with furniture so at least that is done. I'd love for us to be out shopping now but he needs to get with the other 3 to see who needs to bring what. The school is somewhat isolated and he is not bringing a car so we are hoping to bring most items with us when he moves. So much easier for my daughter who will still be in a dorm this year.

 

[lilia78]

I just caught up on the reading, it’s been a while since I checked in! Our last year was very hard emotionally but DS19’s first year of university was a success.

He goes to university about 4.5 hours away from home and he has his own car, so that made move home very easy! He had a 9 day break between his last two finals so he came home, brought 1/2 the items first trip and the rest the last trip. He lived in the dorms for his freshman year, which is very convenient but more expensive that an apartment or a basement suite in a home. Dorms cost about 800.00 a month. He and a friend managed to find a basement suite for 500.00 each, all utilities including cable and internet included.

He was done school on April 24 and came home that night. He found a summer job with a Crop Input Company (we live in a rural area). In our Province companies can apply to the federal government for a summer student grant. So there are quite a few summer jobs available for students. He is working full-time and will be able to make about 12,000 gross. So that will cover his tuition and part of his rent for the year. He also has some scholarships that will reduce his tuition owing. We have savings in a Registered Education Plan if he needs more.

He is majoring in Electrical Engineering and will start his second year after labour day. I’m happy that he came home and was able to find a summer job. I’m also happy that he and his roommate took the initiative to seek out places to live, set up appointments and find a place. Their new landlord is also allowing them to not have to pay rent until August. That will give him plenty of opportunity to get moved in and settled.

Good luck to all the students in the coming up year.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

Has anyone else had issues with their college kid not respecting the rules of your house? We don't have a lot of rules for the college kids. Once they hit college, there is no more curfew. Our rules are about honesty and courtesy. Don't lie to mom and dad about what you are doing and check in with us via text if you are going to be home super late or spend the night at a friend's house. DS21 has no issues with this. He tells us he's going to X's house. We'll get a text later saying I'll be home around 2:00 AM, or we left X's and went to Y's, or I had a few beers and am sleeping over at X's house - all of which are totally fine with us (even when he was just 18). He knows we'll worry if we wake up at 4:00 AM and he's not home, so he checks in. Common courtesy.

DD19 won't do it, and it's been a constant source of fighting this summer. She has left the house saying she's going to X's house, and then we hear nothing from her for 24-36 hours. Once time we tried texting her for several hours; she didn't respond. At that point we started calling her friends parents to make sure she was not hurt/kidnapped. The mom said she'd been at her house for two days with some other girls, and they were all currently asleep, so that's why she didn't text us back. How hard is it to shoot your parents a text to make sure they don't worry???? Last night she got home after being out for 30 hours. I finally texted her yesterday at mid day, she did text back that she'd be home soon. She came home at 1:00 AM. I was peeved at that point. All we ask is for a text. She just won't do it.

I wouldn't be so worried about all of this, but she's also been lying to us about where she goes and what she does. She accidentally outs herself and gets caught in the lie, otherwise we'd believe whatever she tells us. She also lied to her bosses at both her jobs on 4th of July. She told both places she was scheduled to work that she had a fever, so she could get out of work and party with her friends at the beach. She got caught in that lie by one of her bosses. So now he rarely puts her on the schedule. She went from working there 3 days a week to 1 day a week if that. I can't blame him either. I'd have done the same thing. With so little work, she's got even more time on her hand, which is not a good thing.

We only know 2 of her girlfriends and 1 of her guys friends that she's been hanging out with this summer. She won't let us meet them. It's not the same group she hung out with in HS, and some of them are not the best influence and don't have good home lives. She has them over to our house only when we are not here. Apparently that's what they do - congregate at whichever house has no parents at home. But the worst thing is that she's made some very risky decisions that could have had serious consequences for her future (NOT drinking/driving related thank goodness, I'm not going to share what they are). She didn't get caught in any of these (this time), so she thinks it's no big deal. DH said last month that he's really worried she's going to get hurt or get in trouble and ruin her life. I can't blame it all on her friends because she is the one making the choices, but I know they are encouraging her to choose badly. Part of the reason she's been lying is because she KNOWS we would not like what she's doing because it's risky, but she wants to do it anyway.

We've grounded her twice (for a combined total of 5 days) for the lying. Lying is not tolerated in our house. She claims she is an adult, and it is totally wrong to ground her. And she's been completely disrespectful about it. She may be 19, but she is totally dependent on us for everything - food, shelter, medical, phone, car, insurance, education. We told her that she can do whatever she wants, when she wants, with whom she wants when she is fully in charge of her own life. She says we are over the top; all her friends think so; none of their parents try to still parent or have rules for their 19 year old kids. I find that hard to believe.

DH and I think it might be better for her to stay up at school and get a job there next summer. She would be surrounded by more motivated kids on campus. But we'll see. Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[J'aime Paris]

Has anyone else had issues with their college kid not respecting the rules of your house? We don't have a lot of rules for the college kids. Once they hit college, there is no more curfew. Our rules are about honesty and courtesy. Don't lie to mom and dad about what you are doing and check in with us via text if you are going to be home super late or spend the night at a friend's house. DS21 has no issues with this. He tells us he's going to X's house. We'll get a text later saying I'll be home around 2:00 AM, or we left X's and went to Y's, or I had a few beers and am sleeping over at X's house - all of which are totally fine with us (even when he was just 18). He knows we'll worry if we wake up at 4:00 AM and he's not home, so he checks in. Common courtesy.

DD won't do it, and it's been a constant source of fighting this summer. She has left the house saying she's going to X's house, and then we hear nothing from her for 24-36 hours. Once time we tried texting her for several hours; she didn't respond. At that point we started calling her friends parents to make sure she was not hurt/kidnapped. The mom said she'd been at her house for two days with some other girls, and they were all currently asleep, so that's why she didn't text us back. How hard is it to shoot your parents a text to make sure they don't worry???? Last night she got home after being out for 30 hours. I finally texted her yesterday at mid day, she did text back that she'd be home soon. She came home at 1:00 AM. I was peeved at that point. All we ask is for a text. She just won't do it.

I wouldn't be so worried about all of this, but she's also been lying to us about where she goes and what she does. She accidentally outs herself and gets caught in the lie, otherwise we'd believe whatever she tells us. She also lied to her bosses at both her jobs on 4th of July. She told both places she was scheduled to work that she had a fever, so she could get out of work and party with her friends at the beach. She got caught in that lie by one of her bosses. So now he rarely puts her on the schedule. She went from working there 3 days a week to 1 day a week if that. I can't blame him either. I'd have done the same thing. With so little work, she's got even more time on her hand, which is not a good thing.

We only know 2 of her girlfriends and 1 of her guys friends that she's been hanging out with this summer. She won't let us meet them. It's not the same group she hung out with in HS, and some of them are not the best influence and don't have good home lives. She has them over to our house only when we are not here. Apparently that's what they do - congregate at whichever house has no parents at home. But the worst thing is that she's made some very risky decisions that could have had serious consequences for her future (NOT drinking/driving related thank goodness, I'm not going to share what they are). She didn't get caught in any of these (this time), so she thinks it's no big deal. DH said last month that he's really worried she's going to get hurt or get in trouble and ruin her life. I can't blame it all on her friends because she is the one making the choices, but I know they are encouraging her to choose badly. Part of the reason she's been lying is because she KNOWS we would not like what she's doing because it's risky, but she wants to do it anyway.

We've grounded her twice (for a combined total of 5 days) for the lying. Lying is not tolerated in our house. She claims she is an adult, and it is totally wrong to ground her. And she's been completely disrespectful about it. She may be 19, but she is totally dependent on us for everything - food, shelter, medical, phone, car, insurance, education. We told her that she can do whatever she wants, when she wants, with whom she wants when she is fully in charge of her own life. She says we are over the top; all her friends think so; none of their parents try to still parent or have rules for their 19 year old kids. I find that hard to believe.

DH and I think it might be better for her to stay up at school and get a job there next summer. She would be surrounded by more motivated kids on campus. But we'll see. Thanks for letting me vent.

I'm sorry you are having a rough time!

My BFF is going through something very similar with her DS 19. They support him financially as well. He comes and goes as he pleases, barely working this summer, and with little communication. He also has been leaving his bedroom a mess, which is a big No-No in their household.

My friend finally kicked him out! She said "you want to play the adult card, go be one"!! Her DS went to his aunts house, and she took him in. It's only been 3 days, but there has been no communication between them.

We've always told our DD 19....our love is unconditional, our money is not.
We've always laid out our expectations and consequences very clearly. Thankfully DD hasn't decided to "test" our follow through.

 

[disneyeveryyear]

Poor DD after getting her wisdom teeth out Friday she was miserable late Saturday/Sunday. I could not get her comfortable and I was feeding her meds every three hours. I ran her back to the surgeon office today for their opening time and they had nobody in. So they sent us to a branch office another 45 minutes away. They were excellent, we luckily arrived during surgeries, and she did have a dry socket. They told her if she had a dry socket the treatment would work in one half hour, she slept all the way home.

I wanted her to get them out befor the middle of August in case she had an issue.

DD had her wisdom teeth out Sr. year of HS and she ended up with 2 dry sockets and was quite miserable. Plus the constant trips to the dentist to have the packing replaced was a pain. She ended up missing quite a bit of school over it, but I am really glad we had it done during HS and didn't wait until college.

My son finished his freshman year with all A's and one A-. He was pretty bummed about the A-. UT's grading system calls a 90-93 an A-. I have no idea if that is the case at most other universities, but he was not happy with that 92.

This also messed with my DD's GPA. I didn't realize that an A- wasn't a 4.0/4.0. Luckily she still made the academic honor society based on her first semester grades, but she was really bummed about that A-. Considering she wasn't a straight A student in HS, I was darn impressed. Sometimes they can be so hard on themselves.

Has anyone else had issues with their college kid not respecting the rules of your house? We don't have a lot of rules for the college kids. Once they hit college, there is no more curfew. Our rules are about honesty and courtesy. Don't lie to mom and dad about what you are doing and check in with us via text if you are going to be home super late or spend the night at a friend's house. DS21 has no issues with this. He tells us he's going to X's house. We'll get a text later saying I'll be home around 2:00 AM, or we left X's and went to Y's, or I had a few beers and am sleeping over at X's house - all of which are totally fine with us (even when he was just 18). He knows we'll worry if we wake up at 4:00 AM and he's not home, so he checks in. Common courtesy.

DD19 won't do it, and it's been a constant source of fighting this summer. She has left the house saying she's going to X's house, and then we hear nothing from her for 24-36 hours. Once time we tried texting her for several hours; she didn't respond. At that point we started calling her friends parents to make sure she was not hurt/kidnapped. The mom said she'd been at her house for two days with some other girls, and they were all currently asleep, so that's why she didn't text us back. How hard is it to shoot your parents a text to make sure they don't worry???? Last night she got home after being out for 30 hours. I finally texted her yesterday at mid day, she did text back that she'd be home soon. She came home at 1:00 AM. I was peeved at that point. All we ask is for a text. She just won't do it.

I wouldn't be so worried about all of this, but she's also been lying to us about where she goes and what she does. She accidentally outs herself and gets caught in the lie, otherwise we'd believe whatever she tells us. She also lied to her bosses at both her jobs on 4th of July. She told both places she was scheduled to work that she had a fever, so she could get out of work and party with her friends at the beach. She got caught in that lie by one of her bosses. So now he rarely puts her on the schedule. She went from working there 3 days a week to 1 day a week if that. I can't blame him either. I'd have done the same thing. With so little work, she's got even more time on her hand, which is not a good thing.

We only know 2 of her girlfriends and 1 of her guys friends that she's been hanging out with this summer. She won't let us meet them. It's not the same group she hung out with in HS, and some of them are not the best influence and don't have good home lives. She has them over to our house only when we are not here. Apparently that's what they do - congregate at whichever house has no parents at home. But the worst thing is that she's made some very risky decisions that could have had serious consequences for her future (NOT drinking/driving related thank goodness, I'm not going to share what they are). She didn't get caught in any of these (this time), so she thinks it's no big deal. DH said last month that he's really worried she's going to get hurt or get in trouble and ruin her life. I can't blame it all on her friends because she is the one making the choices, but I know they are encouraging her to choose badly. Part of the reason she's been lying is because she KNOWS we would not like what she's doing because it's risky, but she wants to do it anyway.

We've grounded her twice (for a combined total of 5 days) for the lying. Lying is not tolerated in our house. She claims she is an adult, and it is totally wrong to ground her. And she's been completely disrespectful about it. She may be 19, but she is totally dependent on us for everything - food, shelter, medical, phone, car, insurance, education. We told her that she can do whatever she wants, when she wants, with whom she wants when she is fully in charge of her own life. She says we are over the top; all her friends think so; none of their parents try to still parent or have rules for their 19 year old kids. I find that hard to believe.

DH and I think it might be better for her to stay up at school and get a job there next summer. She would be surrounded by more motivated kids on campus. But we'll see. Thanks for letting me vent.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I totally agree she is being quite disrespectful. I also ask that they let me know where they are (when they are home), my DS was great about it. Even at 24 he let's me know when he is flying somewhere for work, when he arrives there, and when he arrives back home (he now lives 3 hours from us). DD19 isn't quite as good, but she doesn't go off on larks either. She now lets me know when she is going out, which isn't too often since she works 5 nights a week.

I'm sorry you are having a rough time!

My BFF is going through something very similar with her DS 19. They support him financially as well. He comes and goes as he pleases, barely working this summer, and with little communication. He also has been leaving his bedroom a mess, which is a big No-No in their household.

My friend finally kicked him out! She said "you want to play the adult card, go be one"!! Her DS went to his aunts house, and she took him in. It's only been 3 days, but there has been no communication between them.

We've always told our DD 19....our love is unconditional, our money is not.
We've always laid out our expectations and consequences very clearly. Thankfully DD hasn't decided to "test" our follow through.

I love this quote and will be using it in the future. I have always told my kids that as long as they are living in my wallet, through support, tuition, etc., they lived by my rules (which really aren't that strict). I work for an attorney and have told them stories of people's lives being ruined by one stupid mistake when they were 17-21, with specific examples, with the hope that they can learn from others mistakes. Luckily they have chosen well with their friends and have never really been in any trouble.