Parents with kids of the same sex

[kaytieeldr]

Does anyone have any good comebacks?

Dear Abby:
Dear Enhanced: You are not compelled to answer a rude and intrusive question.
There are a variety of appropriate responses in addition to the obvious "It's none of your business." Choose one:
- "I can't believe you asked that."
- "If it were any of your business, you'd know."
- "What an incredibly rude question!"
- "If you forgive me for not answering, I'll forgive you for asking."
https://www.deseretnews.com/article/406448/RUDE-INTRUSIVE-QUESTIONS-DESERVE-THE-RIGHT-RESPONSE.html

Miss Manners:
One suggestion will do to respond to all of these: "How kind you are to take such an interest in our business."
https://www.uexpress.com/miss-manners/2017/4/25/one-crisp-response-can-answer-many

Ann Landers:
"Why do you need to know?"
https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20101010115829AAXFylS

 

[powellrj]

Just wait until someone tells your youngest she was an accident because she has 2 older brothers. She called from college upset because one of her teachers told the class she must have been an accident. She wouldn’t believe me when I kept trying to tell her she wasn’t. It had never occurred to her, and now she believes she was an accident.Grrrrrr

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

I learned a long time ago to not sweat the small stuff. And those comments are small stuff.

 

[melk]

"I've never been one to place a value on a child based on their sex."

My SIL was the worst. When she visited me in the hospital after my third daughter she said "That's too bad she's not a boy." I could have punched her in the face but instead chose to ignore her (unfortunately I read the quote above some time after my SIL's moronic comment).

 

[kaytieeldr]

Just wait until someone tells your youngest she was an accident because she has 2 older brothers. She called from college upset because one of her teachers told the class she must have been an accident. She wouldn’t believe me when I kept trying to tell her she wasn’t. It had never occurred to her, and now she believes she was an accident.Grrrrrr

I think Roseanne writers handled third time situation situation well. From wikiquotes:
D.J.: Was I an accident?
Roseanne: ... No, D.J., you were... a surprise.
D.J.: Oh. What's the difference?
Roseanne: Well, an accident is something that, if you had to do it over again, you wouldn't, but a surprise is something that you didn't even know you wanted till you got it.
D.J.: Was Darlene an accident?
Dan: No, Darlene was a disaster.

 

[Kellykins1218]

I have 4 older brothers and I have 4 boys. I'm done, but at least my parents kept going until they got it right.

 

[Snowysmom]

I have 2 boys. When they got married people told me how it was too bad I didn't have a daughter so I could help pick out wedding gowns etc. Well, I did get to plan 2 great rehearsal dinners. And I didn't have to deal with bridal nerves and indecision that went on. Plus my 2 sons are friends and their families get along really well. Older DS is expecting his second son and I am thrilled. His boys will be 19 months apart so I am hoping for them to be great friends too.

 

[MamaLema]

I have 3 boys and get those comments but they don’t bother me...maybe because they’re all teens now. Now people comment on my grocery bill...but they’re not wrong

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

Just wait until someone tells your youngest she was an accident because she has 2 older brothers. She called from college upset because one of her teachers told the class she must have been an accident. She wouldn’t believe me when I kept trying to tell her she wasn’t. It had never occurred to her, and now she believes she was an accident.Grrrrrr

I've been very open about my kids being accidents. They think it's hilarious.

 

[powellrj]

I've been very open about my kids being accidents. They think it's hilarious.

What is so funny is she wasn't an accident. She was a we aren't getting any younger, so if we are going to have another baby we need to do it soon baby!

 

[ashley0139]

I've been very open about my kids being accidents. They think it's hilarious.

I was an accident (at least the timing was an accident). I can't imagine possibly being upset about that. I tease my parents about it.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

What is so funny is she wasn't an accident. She was a we aren't getting any younger, so if we are going to have another baby we need to do it soon baby!

I think it was the Malcom in the Middle mom who said something to the affect of "I have the birth control child, the condom child and the abstinence child". LOL . That was me, pretty much.

 

[#1hoosierfan]

I have 2 boys. I got asked all of the time if we were going to “try for a girl.” I answered that even if I were 100% guaranteed a girl for the third, I would still not have another child. It was truth too.

I’m mid forties now, so the questions stopped several years ago.....

 

[ronandannette]

I learned a long time ago to not sweat the small stuff. And those comments are small stuff.

...and virtually always made by people whose opinions couldn't matter less.

I think Roseanne writers handled third time situation situation well. From wikiquotes:
Well, an accident is something that, if you had to do it over again, you wouldn't, but a surprise is something that you didn't even know you wanted till you got it.

This is actually really lovely - I'm going to remember it. FWIW, I'm the mom of a very dearly loved "surprise".

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I know someone with three sons and when she gets comments about if she wanted a girl she replies she will have a daughter in the future, she’s just going to let her son pick her (daughter in law).

Well..unless her son is not attracted to girls..

But I do get what she means-the sentiment is there.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

My mom got the comments and she only had 2. She did joke "well 2 of them was enough" in a loving manner of course.

But I get what you mean. Step-sister-in-law has 2 boys and she would love a 3rd child though comments have flown about "oh yeah maybe you'll get a girl this time *wink* *wink*

Why people have to interject what they think you should have gender, number, children in general is beyond me.

 

[aprilchem]

I had two boys and my 3rd is a girl. When I was pregnant with #3 and people would say "oh - so you're trying for a girl!" or something stupid like that I'd just look confused and say "what do you mean by that?" and force them to explain. I think that makes most people realize how silly it is to say things like that.

 

[crazymama]

Smile and let it go... who cares what people say.

 

[Arkansan]

I have two DDs and a DS. (In that order). When my youngest was only a month or so old, I took all the kids grocery shopping. I was wearing the baby and he was so small you could just see two little feet peeking out of the carrier and the girls were riding in the cart. An older man was looking at the girls and smiling (they were singing and giggling and being really sweet) and then he noticed the baby feet and said, “I just have to ask...is it a girl or a boy?” I answered, “a boy,” and I swear that old man did a touchdown dance! He said, “oh, I’m so glad for you.” I answered, “We’re just happy that they are all healthy.” He stammered a, “oh, of course” before he slunk away.

Another time late in my third pregnancy, I attended a memorial mass. (We are not Catholic, not that it really matters.) A man (what is it with older men’s feeling on this subject?) gave me a quote from Mother Teresa that said, (paraphrasing) “How can anyone say there are too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers in the garden.” My children are all very close in age. The girls are 19 months apart and the middle and last two are 21months apart. They were three, 21 months, and an infant.

 

[aprilgail]

My mom got the comments and she only had 2. She did joke "well 2 of them was enough" in a loving manner of course.

But I get what you mean. Step-sister-in-law has 2 boys and she would love a 3rd child though comments have flown about "oh yeah maybe you'll get a girl this time *wink* *wink*

Why people have to interject what they think you should have gender, number, children in general is beyond me.

I would get the opposite- aren't your going to have another one? She will always be lonely, she will be spoiled, etc- the worst was when she was in for an ultra this old Italian male doing the ultrasound told me that I should have another one because what if something happened to this one at least I would have another-- I finally just started saying "once you have the perfect child you don't need to keep trying for others, I had the perfect one so I stopped there"