Teresa,
In a small way I have a personal understanding of the situation.
January 2012, snowstorm, back country roads, black ice, a telephone pole and me. Needless to say, not a great combination. Everyone from the north knows what happens when you hit black ice, zero control of the car.
Even though I was only going 18 miles an hour, the jaws of life were required to get me out of the car. My car hit the pole off-center so it wrapped around the pole. My head whipped to the left, smashed the side window and then my brain bounced off the inside of my skull, similar to shaken baby syndrome.
I suffered what's called a high level traumatic brain injury. I have no memory of the 6 weeks after the accident. I had to relearn absolutely everything; walking, talking, eating, reading....everything.
3 years of therapy, 3-4 appointments a day, 5 days a week plus all types of exercises on my own. And, like all of my life, I didn't fit the "usual injury pattern", which meant the usual therapy didn't work for me. My team of "medical angels" had to come up with an entirely new program of treatment. (So different, I'm written about in the New England Journal of Medicine.)
I worked my butt off (not literally unfortunately) and amazed my team with what I was able to get back.
There is permanent brain damage, I'll never be able to work again. My memory is very unreliable, to say the least. I write everything down and have post it notes all over my home to help me remember when and how to do certain everyday things.
I have a MBA, a total nerd, I loved working with numbers. Now, even with a calculator, numbers make very little sense to me. I have dyscalculia, which is similar to dyslexia, but with numbers. I check everything 10 times at least as I'll see one set of numbers and write down something entirely different.
I am so lucky though. I'm able to live on my own and take care of my home myself. There are too many things to list that I can't do anymore.
I focus on what I can do, and am grateful and give thanks for that every day. I still see a psychologist to help me with the anger and frustration with what was taken away. I get angry very quickly which I was always the calm one in the family. I tire quickly, require a lot of rest and can fall asleep in the middle of a sentence. Not narcolepsy, so no danger when I'm driving. Words come very slowly, and incorrect words when I'm tired or my brain is over-stimulated.
As difficult as it has been for me, I know it's been harder for my family. I'm not and never will be Carolyn pre-accident. It's a daily struggle, but I'm doing it. My family sees this, they are still holding hope for the "old Carolyn" to return and they're frustrated that they can't do anything about it. Family therapy has helped immensely with this for all of it.
And I know that Dom and I are in entirely different situations, but some of the feelings for the family are the same.
This is a horrible, frustrating, and sad situation for all of you.
You are all in my thoughts and in my prayers every day.
May we, Teresa?
