Update: Pray for Dom- Dom has passed, His Services, Thank You- Page 48 post 949

[Nancyg56]

Teresa, my sister Gail was a FRT on Lifestar for over 6 years. Many of her colleagues were in the military either as pilots or medical personal, and she was always humbled by their experience

 

[cabanafrau]

Thank you Mona @flyingdumbo127. You always know how to make me feel better. @Nancyg56, your post brought tears to my eyes. Thank you. I have to keep telling myself Dom must still be here for a reason, even if I can't for the life of me imagine what that is. I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. What a brave woman. My husband and I have been in the health care field for more than 25 years. I was a hair stylist for around 12 years before I went back to school to become an RN, and I worked in the ER/ICU for about 20 years before becoming a stay at home babysitting MomMom. On a funny note, I like to say I went from kissing butt to wiping butt. My husband was a flight medic in the Army, then a tech for a GI practice as well as an ER tech (I met him working in the ER when he transferred to the ER I worked in), from there went on to GI equipment sales & training, and then to sales for home care & hospice, of which he's been doing for the last eight years. Dom's mom did rely on us quite a bit during the first ten months or so after Dom's tragedy. Over the last few months, as it became more apparent that he wasn't progressing, and pretty much seems to have come to a stand still, she has shut us out. It was too hard to keep sugar coating our words. I mean, we weren't a-holes about what we said to her, but we, like apparently Dom's physicians, became the enemy speaking evil reports. Just typing that freaks me out, that she actually wrote that in the prayer journal. Anything we say that is based on the reality of Dom's situation is, to her, being negative. She has said time and time again that she doesn't want to hear any negative comments. Truth isn't negative. Anyway, it is what it is for now.

She's shooting the messenger. It's not surprising. It's not rational, but it's not surprising either. It's an attempt to cope, not particularly healthy or helpful, but apparently it was what was available in her toolkit at the moment.

God bless you all.

 

[TeresaNJ]

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[Nancyg56]

Thank you. I totally agree. We just give her the space she wants, while letting her know we're here for her whenever she needs us. We told Dom prior to the accident that we'd always be there for him no matter what, and nothing will ever change that. We're still on speaking terms with his mom, and exchange texts and calls here and there, but the close collaborative relationship we had post accident is no longer there by her choice, and she has every right to make that choice. She is his mother. I can't imagine being in her shoes, and I pray I never will be. I try to remember that when I feel like I'm being too critical of her.

You kind of are in her shoes in that you love this young man and are living this with him. Are you his mother? No. Does that mean you would not walk through fire for him? No.

I have one Godchild. I love all my nieces and nephews but this girl is different. She told my daughter that if there was a zombie apocalypse I would tear my arm off to feed the zombies so she could get away. Now I admit I have no idea what a zombie apocalypse is, but I know she was telling my daughter that I loved her more than my own life. She is right.

Dom's mother is going through Hell right now, but that does not diminish your own grief and pain. I will never second guess parents who must make decisions for their child under duress, and I will not disparage how they cope when their well meaning decisions do not have the happy ending they prayed for, that means they relive those decisions daily. I will shake my head though when the parents pull away from the people who love them as well, and who could help them navigate waters that may only become more challenging.

You are not alone, and I truly believe you are in a safe zone here that allows you to work out what is hard to tell anyone.

 

[wilkeliza]

Thank you for the update Teresa. Just know those feelings you have a completely normal. It took so long for me to come to terms with the things I prayed for when my mother was in her final battle with cancer. I was young (15 and a half) and she had been battling it for over 3 years. I'll never forget praying that if she wasn't going to be healed to just let her go so I didn't have to see her suffer any more. The last fewweeks she was in a medically induced coma at home so it was just like there was a shell of her living in the house. I couldn't imagine having to see similar with someone even younger.

I will continue to pray for you and your family.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Prayers and love to all of you lovely folks on here. It truly is a joy to know all of you. Thank you for so bravely sharing.

Teresa, thank you♥

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Wow, it has been a long time! I am thinking of Dom right now and wanted to check this thread. Praying all is much more positive. Love to you, Teresa always

 

[wilkeliza]

Continued prayers for you Teresa. I hope the family including Dom are well.

 

[macraven]

I keep checking the thread also

It has been awhile since we have heard about Dom and everyone has him on their mind and in their prayers

Teresa, every reader of this thread miss you

 

[superme80]

Just want to also send you love Teresa. Still praying for Dom and your family.

 

[TeresaNJ]

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[PollyannaMom]

Thanks for the update, and sorry to hear about your FIL. That's a lovely tribute you made!

 

[Twilight Sparkle]

Hugs, Teresa. I'm so sorry about your FIL. It sounds like your MIL is in a good place and thankfully close by. Love the tribute you made of your FIL for her. It made me a bit teary-eyed. That photo of Dom is precious. I still keep him in my prayers.

 

[Pamlur]

I had to demand that my daughter-in-law take my son off life support; she kept putting it off for one reason after another, long after it was obvious that only the machines were keeping his heart beating. If she had put it off one more time, I would have used my Durable Power of Attorney and forced the issue; if he was suffering in any way it needed to stop. I'm so sorry Dom's mother can't see this, also.

 

[wilkeliza]

Thank you for the update. Hugs to your family. 71 seems so young but cancer is such a nasty disease. Sorry your family has suffered so much loss the past year.

 

[NFLDERS]

(((HUGS))) to everyone giving care to loved ones. Prayers and thoughts for you Teresa, Dom, and family.

 

[TeresaNJ]

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[flyingdumbo127]

So very many hugs and thanks (for keeping us updated ) Teresa. It is so good to hear from you. I am so sorry you and your family have been dealing with so very much heartache and loss.

I will tuck Dom and you extra in my prayers!

What a truly precious picture of Dom! Beautiful reminder of God's love for us P.S. Thanks to and because of Jesus, Dom's actual smile may be dimmer or not as apparent, but it has not disappeared! May you continue to always know the Peace and Presence of Christ with and within you. You are such a lovely lady.

 

[Twilight Sparkle]

Just saw the post about your MIL in the ER. Hoping she will be okay!

 

[gardengirl628]

So sorry about your F-I-L. Prayers for your M-I-L and your whole family.