Recapturing the magic: Advice Thread?

[HCL]

Hey, all, I'm new here, but have been a Disney World fan since I was 7 years old. We had our first trip in 98-99, and I don't care what people say I loved the Cake Castle. We went nearly every year until I was 16, and I've gone twice since then.

Most recently was in 2016, I took my non-Disney Fan girlfriend(now wife) and it was the first trip I had planned. The last one was in 2009, my parents had planned it and I had paid, and things went well. But the 2016 trip, and my first one in the drivers seat, fell flat for my partner and I.

I have gotten a lot of grear advice that I know will help with the next trip, such as taking a longer trip, using fastpass+ and reservations, and generally sticking to at least a rough schedule. We got there, and I kinda threw all the plans out the window, and it didn't help that she is one of those people who doesn't know what she likes. So I'd talk about a ride or show and I would get a flat response or I don't know. I do feel that trip, as much as it didn't work out, at least showed me what she likes.

But I ran into a personal problem, and maybe it was made worse by the rushed pace of the trip, and her general lack of enjoyment due to the poor planning, but I lost a lot of the magic during this trip. To also be fair, 2016 was a bad year to go, with most of Hollywood Studios under construction, EPCOT having future world half closed down, and Magic Kingdom being refurbished(this was when they were repainting tomorrowland and redoing a lot of fantasylands exteriors, including the whole corner by cosmic rays).

So, we are planning a longer trip for 2020-2021, looking at the moderate hotels(probably port orleans), the deluxe meal plan, and a plan provided by a article on this site of, early quick rides, lunch, relax by pool, dinner reservations, then fastpass rides/shows. This way she gets time to relax by the pool and read, with less kids around(did I mention we stayed at the all star resorts? My bad, for someone to relax with a hundred screaming kids at the pool, not so easy).

My question for you guys is, any advice for me on how to let go? I spent half the trip worrying about how she is liking it, and the other half beating myself up for poor planning, and it was my first truly adult trip, so I saw past some of the magic and was hit hard with the marketing. I'm glad I have 2-3 years to plan the trip, and I'm also really glad that she is willing to give it another chance, because she enjoyed parts of the trip. And what trip planning advice do you have for me, to make things easier and more relaxed for her?


Thank you,

HCL

 

[BrianL]

Hey, all, I'm new here, but have been a Disney World fan since I was 7 years old. We had our first trip in 98-99, and I don't care what people say I loved the Cake Castle. We went nearly every year until I was 16, and I've gone twice since then.

Most recently was in 2016, I took my non-Disney Fan girlfriend(now wife) and it was the first trip I had planned. The last one was in 2009, my parents had planned it and I had paid, and things went well. But the 2016 trip, and my first one in the drivers seat, fell flat for my partner and I.

I have gotten a lot of grear advice that I know will help with the next trip, such as taking a longer trip, using fastpass+ and reservations, and generally sticking to at least a rough schedule. We got there, and I kinda threw all the plans out the window, and it didn't help that she is one of those people who doesn't know what she likes. So I'd talk about a ride or show and I would get a flat response or I don't know. I do feel that trip, as much as it didn't work out, at least showed me what she likes.

But I ran into a personal problem, and maybe it was made worse by the rushed pace of the trip, and her general lack of enjoyment due to the poor planning, but I lost a lot of the magic during this trip. To also be fair, 2016 was a bad year to go, with most of Hollywood Studios under construction, EPCOT having future world half closed down, and Magic Kingdom being refurbished(this was when they were repainting tomorrowland and redoing a lot of fantasylands exteriors, including the whole corner by cosmic rays).

So, we are planning a longer trip for 2020-2021, looking at the moderate hotels(probably port orleans), the deluxe meal plan, and a plan provided by a article on this site of, early quick rides, lunch, relax by pool, dinner reservations, then fastpass rides/shows. This way she gets time to relax by the pool and read, with less kids around(did I mention we stayed at the all star resorts? My bad, for someone to relax with a hundred screaming kids at the pool, not so easy).

My question for you guys is, any advice for me on how to let go? I spent half the trip worrying about how she is liking it, and the other half beating myself up for poor planning, and it was my first truly adult trip, so I saw past some of the magic and was hit hard with the marketing. I'm glad I have 2-3 years to plan the trip, and I'm also really glad that she is willing to give it another chance, because she enjoyed parts of the trip. And what trip planning advice do you have for me, to make things easier and more relaxed for her?


Thank you,

HCL

HI, HCL, and welcome to the DIS.

That's a tough situation. Sometimes trips happen and the magic just isn't there for you, but try to remember that any trip can be as magical as you allow it to be. Try not to worry about too much and just go with the flow. I know it's hard not to worry about how your wife is enjoying, but just let her take it in on her own. If she didn't like something about it she wouldn't even want to go back.

Now, I do have a possible suggestion, and its a radical idea, but have you considered visiting the Disneyland Resort in Anaheim? It is different enough that you may find it more fun. It requires much less planning too and everything is right there together, so hopping between the two parks is easy. Don't worry, while it is physically smaller, it has almost the same number of attractions in two parks as WDW has in four. This is just a feeling that I get, but I think a lot of young adult couples enjoy it more there. I have found it to be friendlier for the adult solo traveler too. Anyway, it's just a thought.

As you get into planning, feel free to ask questions. Everyone here is happy to help!

 

[Victoriasponge]

Hi HCL

I second what BrianL says about going with the flow. I took my new partner in 2017 and he kind of enjoyed it but he seemed a bit meh about it most of the time. When we talked about it afterwards he said that part of the problem was that he was a bit overwhelmed by it all; by the scale of WDW, by my structured pretty full on plans and also because he felt under pressure to try and love it as much as I do.

I'm so lucky, because, like you and your wife, we are going back to give it another go. In fact, he is now keen to go again and is really looking forward to our trip in December this year. This time we have agreed that I will calm down a bit, that we will spend more time just taking it steady...

...I can't quite give up my planning completely though and already have all my dining reservations and know which park we're going to each day of our vacation

The magic is still there; it might be a bit different now you're an adult, but relax and enjoy and you and your wife will find your own new Disney magic

 

[HCL]

It definitely helps knowing that I'm not alone in figuring this out, or making a second attempt at introducing it to my partner. What hotel do you guys think is best for being a little quieter? We were looking at moderates, if we do a nicer one I want it to be the contemporary.

Oh, and thank you both for the advice and replies! They've been really helpful.

 

[BrianL]

It definitely helps knowing that I'm not alone in figuring this out, or making a second attempt at introducing it to my partner. What hotel do you guys think is best for being a little quieter? We were looking at moderates, if we do a nicer one I want it to be the contemporary.

Oh, and thank you both for the advice and replies! They've been really helpful.

For moderates, I like Port Orleans Riverside. It has very nice grounds and it's own river. You can take a boat along that river to Disney Springs. Hey, though, if you're looking to spend on the Contemporary, then go for it. That's my dream hotel! Any deluxe property will likely "wow" your wife, but make sure to spend a little time at the hotel exploring it. It sounds like she would like that.

 

[Victoriasponge]

I stayed at Coronado Springs Resort in 2015 and I loved it; it's geared towards conferences so is more adult oriented (but the cheerleaders do stay there at certain times of year - they were there when I was but it wasn't an issue). Walking around the lake in the evening can be very romantic.

This time, we're staying at Port Orleans French Quarter, never been there, but reading the boards it looks like POFQ is the absolute favourite moderate. I believe it's smaller and beautifully themed with a lot of attractive outside spaces.

Depending on when you're booking, it might be worth just checking the price of Animal Kingdom Lodge as on my last trip in 2017 we paid about the same to stay there as it would have cost to stay at POFQ. Being a deluxe resort it was that extra little bit special, plus it's just an incredible resort with an amazing lobby!

Enjoy the planning

 

[Pmlocke]

I hope to be able to offer some advice from a person who has been vacationing at WDW since 1997. My wife and I are in our 60's and we now travel down every year in February to avoid the crowds and enjoy the beautiful weather. Anywhere is better than Michigan in February. You mentioned that you need this extra time to do a lot of planning and you felt overwhelmed by all the pre-planning you had done once in the parks. You also mentioned the "Rushed Pace" of the trip and wanting to offer yourself and mate an easier, slower paced trip. Do it like my wife and I do it. The only planning we do is our dining reservations. We like to sit down and enjoy our meal, even if it is with the kids at a character dining experience. I want to know that I will have a table when I want to eat. We do not do any fast passes. We don't even have a schedule for the day other than, while eating breakfast at the hotel I ask her where she would like to go. I will admit that in the evening I have gotten a fast pass for Soarin at the kiosk in EPCOT. No waiting and we got right on. We hadn't made any plans, were just walking by, saw the kiosk and got the passes. We get the park hopper so we can do at least 2 parks a day-one in the morning, the next in the evening. We enter the parks and just go with the flow. No expectations of needing to be anywhere at any certain time. Nowhere we have to be. We just enjoy the parks, the people, everything. We do go at the end of February every year as that still seems to be a quieter time. As for the hotel, we do stay at AS Music every year. We love it there. If you want a quiet pool, go to the Piano Pool at the rear of the property. But honestly, at the time of year we go, the pool has maybe 20-30 people around it in the afternoon, and we do the pool every afternoon for at least 4 hours. My friends went to Disney this year for their first trip ever. He is a PLANNER. When they got back he and his wife both stated they will never go back. They were constantly on the run because he had planned too much. They were exhausted. Do you want to enjoy yourself, make it a vacation-not a marathon. Now for the bad news. WDW is currently undergoing a major renovation at many of the parks getting ready for the 2021 50th Anniversary. Until then you will see a lot of shutdowns and construction such as Tron, Star Wars, Magic Kingdom Railroad, new hotels and restaurants, etc. If you want to avoid the closings and construction, better wait for the later part of 2021. Good luck, take a deep breath, slow down and have fun.

 

[HCL]

Hey, I'm a Michigander as well! My wife really isn't a planner when it comes to vacations or everyday life, probably because her job has her hyper organized all the time. I'm a planner, I get a lot of enjoyment out of planning, but I found on the trip that my carefully made plans fell apart. The parks that I expected to be slow on a certain day weren't, and that made me through them all to the side after the second day. I think if I had gone in without the expectation of having planned everything, it wouldn't have bothered me as much.

We have been looking at Riverside, but I have had FQ recommended by my only Disney Pal. It looks romantic, and I really want a slow paced experience this time. That's why we are looking at staying for 7 nights with park hopper plus, so we can just go and do what we want, and lay around the pool in between. We also loved having the meal plan and my card linked to the wristband, it made it easier to buy and eat, and felt more inclusive and special. We plan to do the deluxe plan this time, since we made the mistake of the quick service last time, then our fav meals were the ones out of pocket at Mexico, Canada, and Animal Kingdom.

 

[LeighHop]

My husband and I take 2-3 trips a year. As we’ve gotten older, our touring has definitely changed. I used to be a major planner but have gradually let go and we are now definitely in a fly by the seat of our pants mode. Our best days tend to be when we hit our fast passes and then find a nice little spot to chat and cocktail for a couple of hours.

So on a MK day, we might do three fast passes and then head out for a “drink around the monorail” adventure. You could also do a progressive dinner around the monorail thing. Appetizers at the Contemporary, main course at the Poly and dessert at the Grand Floridian. Then back to MK for the fireworks.

We also enjoy ourselves so much more when we take a mid day break back at the resort. Have a dip in the pool, shower, change into some fresh clothes. Without kids, you have the luxury of balancing the sometimes over stimulating environment of the parks with some quieter adult centered spots.

Have fun!

 

[HD-DisGuy]

Hi HCL,

Sorry to hear that your trip didn't go as well as planned (and of course, nowhere near as well as imagined) but take heart that most of us have had similar issues along the way. I don't say that to diminish your experience, but to encourage you to give it another try. Keep in mind that while WDW is a magical place, not every experience is magical. If things don’t go as planned keep your sense of humor and go with the flow.

Pmlocke makes a good point about waiting until all the additions / renovations are done in 2021, but if you don’t want to wait until then – and you can tolerate some closed attractions – then think about going back sooner. Just set your expectations accordingly. For example, my wife always looks forward to the simple pleasure of riding the train around Magic Kingdom. Even though it hasn’t been operating the last few times we’ve gone, we still have a good trip and remind ourselves that we will get to ride it during one of our future visits. A good excuse for going back never hurts.

As far as your next trip, here are some thoughts that have worked for us (in no particular order):

• Our favorite moderate is Port Orleans, Riverside. Nice rooms, an attractive and interesting layout, an off-the-beaten-path pool, and good dining facilities. We also enjoy the option of taking the boats to Disney Springs.
• Make a plan, but don’t try to fill every minute of every day.
• Make your three daily FastPass+ reservations, then make your dining reservations around your FastPass+ arrangements.
• We like the Park Hopper option and will often visit more than one park a day. But it’s after we’ve utilized our Fast Passes, and we want to see something special at the next park. Such as the fireworks or later closing time.
• If you’re an early bird (or late-nighter) take advantage of the extra magic hours. It will be less crowded.
• Consider going early and then leaving the parks during peak hours. You could go back to your hotel to relax and enjoy the pool (while most everyone else is still at the parks) or enjoy a round of mini golf, or lunch and shopping at Disney Springs. Then when you’re ready, go back to the parks when many people are starting to tire and are heading out.

We have stayed in the Contemporary and enjoyed it (it was a bucket list thing for me) but tend to go with the moderate and value properties to free up some funds to attend the extra parties. You can also consider a split stay where you spend the first part of your trip in a moderate property and finish in a deluxe property. Just don’t start in the deluxe and move to the moderate

With all the information on Disney rides and attractions available online, maybe the two of you could view them together so she has an idea of what they are about and what she might enjoy. Also, if she has a favorite Disney movie, maybe there’s a corresponding ride or show that she would like to see.

We’ve done the meal plan a few times, but not the deluxe so I can’t help you there. But if you’re doing some high-end dining, consider a good steak at the Boat House in Disney Springs. Well worth the two dining credits

Good luck!

 

[daae3]

One thing to consider is her travel style...is she a relax by the pool type or a go see everything type...maybe a mix of both...start with the resort, pick a more grown up friendly...Coronado Springs, which has less Disney theming but is also really spread out...I like POFQ or Riverside...nice pools and boat access to Disney Springs...plan some fun splurge meals like Cali Grill to see the fireworks or something that appeals to her tastes...if she is not a see everything person, grab some fast passes for the popular things so y’all have some no wait rides and see where the day takes you...ask if she has ideas and give her the options so she feels included but does not have to do the extra work...and if she is a relax by the pool, work is hard and needs a break, give her a mid day break and book her a spa appointment during the trip...

 

[bryanb]

Glad you're giving it another go! I should say that how well you enjoy your trip is probably more about setting the optimal attitude and being clear on your expectations. For example, I made a couple trips in 2016, and even with the refurbishments you noted, I found there was no shortage of things to do and experience. I've met groups who were trapped in noticing everything that was a disappointment, and once you're on that roll it just keeps snowballing (kind of like when you decide to buy a certain car, you start noticing it everywhere because you're paying attention to it). On the other hand, since you don't visit that often, you'll find that WDW offers more than you can possibly do in a week.

If you like spending any time at your resort at all, I think you're going to love the upgrade from the value to the moderate resorts -- especially for an adult couples trip.

With the Deluxe meal plan, please make sure that one of your priorities is eating sit-down restaurant meals. It will be a lot of food. You'll want to eat mostly table service meals 3X a day to get your money's worth, and several people I know who tried this ended their trip stressing out about using all their snack credits.

 

[Wild4Walt]

Sounds like you both may vacation in different ways. Prior to my husband, I would go, go, go all day until I was ready to drop. Sometimes I was by myself, sometimes with like-minded friends or family.

When my husband and I decided to do our 1st trip to Disney I had to do some fact finding with him. Likes, dislikes, etc. We talked about loose plans and as we started those discussions I realized if we did the trip my way, he'd be miserable.

He's a 3rd shifter so he wouldn't be used to getting up at 7a in order to get breakfast and hit the park by 9a. He's not a planner and he didn't get the importance of some of the plans ( like FPs and ADRs ) so we compromised and found a vacation that worked for both of us.

I highly recommend talking with your wife to see what worked on the last trip and what didn't. Take those into consideration. If her big thing was pool time, then I'd plan a day or two for pool and other activities ( like mini-golf and shopping ).

 

[HCL]

Thank you all for all the wonderful tips and advice. I have a hard time getting information from my wife, she tends to give middle ground answers on everything, which makes it hard to know what she likes. She tends to say things like "I enjoyed being with you and you having fun" which is a non-answer. Lol But after running through your suggestions and ideas, and some from an article I read on here, she jumped on board with PORS, later mornings and later nights, more shows, pool time, and shopping, and just a general avoidance of the waits above 30 minutes. She has actually started encouraging me to plan our trip out, and bought me a really nice notebook with my intials on it and flip animation of mickey in the corner to plan it in.

 

[Unvoiced_Apollo]

Thank you all for all the wonderful tips and advice. I have a hard time getting information from my wife, she tends to give middle ground answers on everything, which makes it hard to know what she likes. She tends to say things like "I enjoyed being with you and you having fun" which is a non-answer. Lol But after running through your suggestions and ideas, and some from an article I read on here, she jumped on board with PORS, later mornings and later nights, more shows, pool time, and shopping, and just a general avoidance of the waits above 30 minutes. She has actually started encouraging me to plan our trip out, and bought me a really nice notebook with my intials on it and flip animation of mickey in the corner to plan it in.

Just to add to what's already been said...

If you want more shows and are doing the deluxe dining plan, I highly recommend looking into the dining packages that include a show & restaurant. You can use your dining plan credits for these packages as well.

With the Deluxe Dining Plan, I'd also be taking a hard look at Signature Restaurants (a couple of which do participate in the aforementioned Dining Packages- namely Hollywood Brown Derby for Fantasmic! And Tiffins for Rivers of Light or Festival of the Lion King Tier II). These Signature Restaurants cost 2 meal credits, but the food is plentiful where 2 table service meals & 2 snacks are filling enough, even with a full day at the park. That said this is of course your guys' vacation so there might be better options more suited to you

 

[fhtpdw20]

How about something radically different? Go for a couple of park days. Pick the parks and activities you enjoyed the most from the last trip or maybe do a backstage tour. Then go on a 4 day Disney Cruise. The adult pool will give her plenty of quiet pool time to read. Palo or Remy will give the fine dining experience. Then back to the parks for a day or two. I did this and got a three in one trip. I flew down on Oct 31st and did the Halloween party and stayed a couple of days. Then I went on a 3 day cruise to get discount to take my kids on longer cruise. It timed out that by the time the cruise was over MK and Studios were dressed for Christmas. I also took in the Christmas party too.

 

[MusicalAstronaut]

I love to make spreadsheets for my trips, but I also play a TON of it by ear. One thing I want to say is that the DDP is a ton of food. Like, most people end their trips with like 30 snack credits and frantically trying to buy everything in the candy store before they leave. So just keep that in mind if you have your heart set on a dining plan. I've personally not used it but I know an entree at a restaurant is too much food for me, and having multiple sit-down meals in one day (to me) is a huge time sink. I would consider doing only one ADR per day. It's not about how much you love food (I LOVE food) but how much your body can handle. I pretty much always get sick at Disney from the quantity & richness of the food.

That being said! Be flexible, but have a plan. I usually plan my day by morning/afternoon/evening. I do my fastpasses in the late morning/early afternoon when the park is starting to get busy. I decide which evening show I want to see each day so I know where I'm ending up and how to time dinner. I do rope drop for the morning and take a mid-day break, especially if it's hot out or super busy. I plan (roughly) where I'd like to eat. That might be a banana while waiting for the bus or a sit down breakfast, or "something on the go in Animal Kingdom", but I think that helps me use my time wisely. If I want to wander around AK I can, or I can bail early and go to the pool, or leave for a last-minute ADR I made via the app. But generally breaking my day into thirds & planning which parks and where I want to try to eat helps me not waste time. The "what do you want to do" game is rough if you're already tired so having a tentative plan really helps with that.

 

[MusicalAstronaut]

Sounds like you both may vacation in different ways. Prior to my husband, I would go, go, go all day until I was ready to drop. Sometimes I was by myself, sometimes with like-minded friends or family.

When my husband and I decided to do our 1st trip to Disney I had to do some fact finding with him. Likes, dislikes, etc. We talked about loose plans and as we started those discussions I realized if we did the trip my way, he'd be miserable.

He's a 3rd shifter so he wouldn't be used to getting up at 7a in order to get breakfast and hit the park by 9a. He's not a planner and he didn't get the importance of some of the plans ( like FPs and ADRs ) so we compromised and found a vacation that worked for both of us.

I highly recommend talking with your wife to see what worked on the last trip and what didn't. Take those into consideration. If her big thing was pool time, then I'd plan a day or two for pool and other activities ( like mini-golf and shopping ).

My DH is like this too. Once thing I did on my last trip with him was plan a day where we *only* went to MNSSHP. I'm an AP so this nearly killed me (lol) but he loved it. We went to Disney Springs, spent hours by the pool, and then went to MK at 7pm. I think it was good for him to have a "relaxing" day.

 

[Truxi]

Chiming in to say if you're looking at moderate prices, you might want to check out DVC rentals. You can get a lot of deluxe resorts for moderate prices, and if your wife is a "relax by the pool" type, that might really be up her alley. Plus the benefit of getting back to your hotel at least some of the days without having to get on a bus. Plan a resort day--look into some of the free tours they have at various resorts (I really want to try the culinary tour at Jikko and Boma, but we don't have time for a resort day, so I'm not sure it's in the cards)