Rescheduling trip due to toddler tantrums??

[Maggie Gallagher]

We held off on bringing our kids until the youngest was four. They all experienced the magic and nobody had to miss out on anything because a brother or sister was losing it.

I think that you are smart to postpone your trip.

 

[TinkerDust10]

I would wait until an older age like 5, 6 or 7. You know your child better than anyone and while you want to give them a dream trip, you do want them to enjoy it and remember it. If behavior is an issue, maybe use the trip as a way to reward the behavior. I have been bringing my kids to Disney since age 1 and they don't remember any of the key moments from age 4 and 5 at the age I thought would be embedded in their heads. LOL. So basically it's your call and now you want to spend your vacation; and what memories you want your child to have. At ages 2, 3 and 4 they won't remember anything.

 

[Childs1stTime2Disney]

I would wait until an older age like 5, 6 or 7. You know your child better than anyone and while you want to give them a dream trip, you do want them to enjoy it and remember it. If behavior is an issue, maybe use the trip as a way to reward the behavior. I have been bringing my kids to Disney since age 1 and they don't remember any of the key moments from age 4 and 5 at the age I thought would be embedded in their heads. LOL. So basically it's your call and now you want to spend your vacation; and what memories you want your child to have. At ages 2, 3 and 4 they won't remember anything.

We have already gone at age 15 months and it was great. I do think it's a great memory, maybe not exactly for the child but for the family. The child has beautiful pics to see and cherish. If money is the object, then of course waiting until the child is older makes great sense. But since in our case the money isn't the real concern and stress level is, I have rescheduled for just about 6 months away and hoping for that to work out better than I imagine it would now.

 

[pjacobi]

Parent resource: Avoid tantrum with 1, 2, 3 Magic:

https://www.123magic.com/

-Paul

 

[Lilsia]

My daughter started tantrums at 18 months. By age two, it was over. Those six months were really hard.

I was lucky that most of it happened at home, and I was able to ignore it. The goal was to not feed into it and keep her safe.

The only time it happened in public, we were at the grocery store and I had a cart full of groceries. She wanted another box of cookies, and I said no. She screamed and flipped out. I picked her up, grabbed my purse and walked out of the store leaving the groceries behind. I didn’t say a word. I put her in her car seat and we drove home. She was shocked. She didn’t make a sound.

She never did it in public again.

My advice is to provide a lot of structure. Don’t break promises. Don’t give in. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Stick to routines, bedtime and schedule. Don’t give attention to the tantrums. Just keep your child safe.

We chose to wait to take our daughter to WDW until she was 6. At 2, we did beach vacations that weren’t overstimulating. She ran on the beach and played in the water. She napped well and slept like a rock at night.

This is exactly what I did. Both of my kids tried(around that age) to throw a tantrum at the store. We left and they went right to their room. When daddy got home from work, he gave them a talking to. It never happened again with either one of my kids. They know when you mean business. The worse thing any parent can do is to give into a tantrum and give them what they are making a fuss about. If you do that, you have lost all authority and they know it works. Nip it in the bud the first time and you won't have any issues down the road. We started taking our kids to WDW when they were 1 &2 years old. Then the next year I took them solo. I just kept them in the stroller when we were going from ride to ride, made sure that we had plenty of down time and always kept them well fed and hydrated. We have had some amazing trips.

 

[Childs1stTime2Disney]

This is exactly what I did. Both of my kids tried(around that age) to throw a tantrum at the store. We left and they went right to their room. When daddy got home from work, he gave them a talking to. It never happened again with either one of my kids. They know when you mean business. The worse thing any parent can do is to give into a tantrum and give them what they are making a fuss about. If you do that, you have lost all authority and they know it works. Nip it in the bud the first time and you won't have any issues down the road. We started taking our kids to WDW when they were 1 &2 years old. Then the next year I took them solo. I just kept them in the stroller when we were going from ride to ride, made sure that we had plenty of down time and always kept them well fed and hydrated. We have had some amazing trips.

While I generally agree with this concept, some kids have other issues that play into this tactic not working. It works for most but definitely not all.

 

[DVCjj]

I agree, three is worse than two.....
Just give it a shot and got at your toddlers pace.

For me, two's were definitely the worse. Always felt 3 was a dream for both DD's. I considered it the perfect age.

 

[Lilsia]

While I generally agree with this concept, some kids have other issues that play into this tactic not working. It works for most but definitely not all.

Of course. Any kind of medical issue is always the exception. And I do understand that some kids are just born stubborn. But even with a stubborn kid, it is never a good idea to give into bad behavior.

 

[dez1978]

If you always hold out for a better age, you will never go anywhere! And it gets better.

This 100% IF we waited my my boys to not be *******s, we would never leave the house lol... I kid... Sort of. They are 5 & 8 now. But 2-5 was always up in the air how they would behave.

 

[dez1978]

While I generally agree with this concept, some kids have other issues that play into this tactic not working. It works for most but definitely not all.

This wouldn't work at all on either of my kids. Well maybe my youngest. But my oldest, not a chance.

 

[dez1978]

While I generally agree with this concept, some kids have other issues that play into this tactic not working. It works for most but definitely not all.

This wouldn't work at all on either of my kids. Well maybe my youngest. But my oldest, not a chance.

This is exactly what I did. Both of my kids tried(around that age) to throw a tantrum at the store. We left and they went right to their room. When daddy got home from work, he gave them a talking to. It never happened again with either one of my kids. They know when you mean business. The worse thing any parent can do is to give into a tantrum and give them what they are making a fuss about. If you do that, you have lost all authority and they know it works. Nip it in the bud the first time and you won't have any issues down the road. We started taking our kids to WDW when they were 1 &2 years old. Then the next year I took them solo. I just kept them in the stroller when we were going from ride to ride, made sure that we had plenty of down time and always kept them well fed and hydrated. We have had some amazing trips.

My 8 year old.... From the day he was born, I knew he would be a challenge. I was 33 when he was born, and my parents were 35& 40 when I was born, so I was sure I was going to be the parent that said no and meant it, and would stick to it bc my parents were very authoritarian and my way or no way, and I'd never have dared to defy them (too much anyway). This child has challenged every way of parenting I have ever thought of. I won't go into all of it. I just bring it up to say, it isn't always as easy as "nip it in the bud the 1st time" Because as a parent you can do everything right, do everything the "experts" say you should do, and sometimes none of it will work. Sometimes it takes the exact opposite of what you are supposed to do. I love my kids with every fiber of my being, but it is hard being the parent of a child who is not neurotypical, and hearing this advice of just "nip it in the bud" only makes it seem like I must be a failure when I can't. Just my 2 cents.

To the OP, take your toddler. There will be tantrums, but so what. There will also be amazing memories, and great times. There will always be tantrums, but you will get thru them. Take the trip, it will be worth it.

 

[lahobbs4]

I remember an EPIC fit in the bathrooms of Epcot after the fireworks one night with my 2 year old boy. That was 6 years ago and we still laugh our heads off about that. And I also remember my frustration! But he cared more about getting his face painted than half of the rides I had FP for so we did that instead and have the sweetest memories!

You've gotten great advice. My only advice for parenting is "lower your expectations". It calms me instantly.

 

[mjkacmom]

While I generally agree with this concept, some kids have other issues that play into this tactic not working. It works for most but definitely not all.

Totally agree. None of my 5 really ever tantrumed, I could pat myself on the back and say it was my parenting (I worked very hard to chaos under control, mostly because I had all of them in under 7 years), but honestly, they were all pretty mellow and easy. My sister’s youngest was diagnosed with ADD and ODD very young, typical methods just don’t work (lots of parenting classes and therapy). Positive reinforcement instead of punishment (plus medication). My daughter’s babysit an 8 year old with ODD, it’s tough!

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Of course. Any kind of medical issue is always the exception. And I do understand that some kids are just born stubborn. But even with a stubborn kid, it is never a good idea to give into bad behavior.

Well agree but I also think it's not a 'one and done' type situation either.

My mom would absolutely take me kicking and screaming out of a grocery store. But me being the type of child I was it wasn't just a 'poof' now I'm an obedient child. Follow through doesn't mean the behavior just stops. It can but it can also just continue too. Other things outside of simply following through can also interact with the child's behavior stopping.

 

[Summer2018]

Totally agree. None of my 5 really ever tantrumed, I could pat myself on the back and say it was my parenting (I worked very hard to chaos under control, mostly because I had all of them in under 7 years), but honestly, they were all pretty mellow and easy. My sister’s youngest was diagnosed with ADD and ODD very young, typical methods just don’t work (lots of parenting classes and therapy). Positive reinforcement instead of punishment (plus medication). My daughter’s babysit an 8 year old with ODD, it’s tough!

There’s no doubt that there’s a big difference between a typical child throwing a “terrible twos” tantrum and the challenging behaviors of a child with special needs.

I have taught four year-olds for 20 years, and tantrums are very rare in that age group. However, I truly appreciate the support of our special education teacher when I have a student with challenging behaviors. All of the same principles of structure and consistency come into play, but an individualized behavior plan that is more intensive is necessary.

 

[Maggie Gallagher]

Well agree but I also think it's not a 'one and done' type situation either.

My mom would absolutely take me kicking and screaming out of a grocery store. But me being the type of child I was it wasn't just a 'poof' now I'm an obedient child. Follow through doesn't mean the behavior just stops. It can but it can also just continue too. Other things outside of simply following through can also interact with the child's behavior stopping.

Of course it isn't "poof, now I'm an obedient child." It is an exhausting, time-consuming process.

My kids' tantrums lasted six to eight months. I even consulted our pediatrician at one point because I thought that my oldest was going to hurt himself. But I guess I was more stubborn than they were, and my husband and I were always on the same page. We totally double-teamed them. If they had a tantrum in public, we took them out of the situation and left. It didn't take too many times of leaving a place they wanted to be to make them stop flipping out in public. We didn't give them attention for bad behavior. We never gave in to what they were demanding. We followed routines, bedtimes, etc.

Thank God we are past that. I know there will be more challenges to come, but knowing that we conquered those difficult toddler years together, I have not doubt we can handle whatever happens next.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Of course it isn't "poof, now I'm an obedient child." It is an exhausting, time-consuming process.

I know that but I was specifically responding to the poster below:

We left and they went right to their room. When daddy got home from work, he gave them a talking to. It never happened again with either one of my kids. They know when you mean business.

For many parents it's not really a one time lesson type thing. And it's somewhat unfair to suggest that one would be giving into the behavior if it happened again. I would hazard a guess and say majority of children act out multiple times over even after knowing their parents mean business--kids do often push their parents. I for sure was that type of child and my mom would absolutely walk out the store groceries forgotten..and I would absolutely do it again too because I was that type of child.

And I'll also add the poster I was commenting on wasn't the only one to make that sort of comment. Another poster said they did the same thing with the grocery store and their child never did it in public again. Totally fine to give personal experience it's just another thing when trying to apply it to every other kid out there.

 

[Lilsia]

This wouldn't work at all on either of my kids. Well maybe my youngest. But my oldest, not a chance.

My 8 year old.... From the day he was born, I knew he would be a challenge. I was 33 when he was born, and my parents were 35& 40 when I was born, so I was sure I was going to be the parent that said no and meant it, and would stick to it bc my parents were very authoritarian and my way or no way, and I'd never have dared to defy them (too much anyway). This child has challenged every way of parenting I have ever thought of. I won't go into all of it. I just bring it up to say, it isn't always as easy as "nip it in the bud the 1st time" Because as a parent you can do everything right, do everything the "experts" say you should do, and sometimes none of it will work. Sometimes it takes the exact opposite of what you are supposed to do. I love my kids with every fiber of my being, but it is hard being the parent of a child who is not neurotypical, and hearing this advice of just "nip it in the bud" only makes it seem like I must be a failure when I can't. Just my 2 cents.

To the OP, take your toddler. There will be tantrums, but so what. There will also be amazing memories, and great times. There will always be tantrums, but you will get thru them. Take the trip, it will be worth it.

It is understood that children that are not neurotypical are not included in this, obviously. All kids have their challenges and I stand by my statement that to give in, even once, to a child who acts this way only fuels the fire and makes it harder down the line.

 

[Lilsia]

I know that but I was specifically responding to the poster below:



For many parents it's not really a one time lesson type thing. And it's somewhat unfair to suggest that one would be giving into the behavior if it happened again. I would hazard a guess and say majority of children act out multiple times over even after knowing their parents mean business--kids do often push their parents. I for sure was that type of child and my mom would absolutely walk out the store groceries forgotten..and I would absolutely do it again too because I was that type of child.

And I'll also add the poster I was commenting on wasn't the only one to make that sort of comment. Another poster said they did the same thing with the grocery store and their child never did it in public again. Totally fine to give personal experience it's just another thing when trying to apply it to every other kid out there.

Yes, a child will act out numerous times, that is normal. But giving into that behavior is how a parent loses authority. Parenting is very hard, my kids were not perfect either. I am lucky that my husband and I work as a team and never undermine each other. The kids know that they can not get away with anything from either of us. It's not really an issue for us anymore since our kids are older now. But just to put it out there for those who are just starting out, I would tell them to not give into a child's tantrum by letting them have what they want. It will not help.

 

[Maggie Gallagher]

It is understood that children that are not neurotypical are not included in this, obviously. All kids have their challenges and I stand by my statement that to give in, even once, to a child who acts this way only fuels the fire and makes it harder down the line.

That is Parenting 101.

Unfortunately too many people are afraid to parent their children now and stand by the rules and parameters they have set for their children. Kids will push boundaries, and it's our job as parents to make those boundaries clear. Children feel safer and more secure in a loving and structured environment.