Resort pool etiquette: other parents unsafe children

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The lifeguard who was present at the time told you what to do next time. I would take that as your answer as to how you should act next time.
There was no lifeguard present. Period. One of the boys went and got his mother, who brought a lifeguard to the splash area with her.
 
There was no lifeguard present. Period. One of the boys went and got his mother, who brought a lifeguard to the splash area with her.
Correct. And that lifeguard told the OP how he should have conducted himself, so that is what I would reference when trying to decide how to behave "next time". While that lifeguard didnt see what all went down, he knows more about the situation and what the best course of action is than any of us do, as we were not even present on the day in question nor did we see any of these children for ourselves.
 
You may have to contact the DVC guest services or guest.services@disneyworld.com

I'm surprised no one has asked the following questions..

Did the Mother of the boys drop her kids off there? If she did and saw you there and no lifeguard she left you as the responsible adult and you acted as such...imo.

If she did not drop them off did she ever check on the boys? If not, she left them there without knowing if they were being supervised by a responsible person or if they were behaving.

Again, I see this all to often, especially at WDW. She forgot to be the parent and left that up to others...imho. Done.

OP said that there was an adult in charge of them in the area. He guesstimates her to be a cousin, around 20 years old and says she was on her phone too much.
 
OP said that there was an adult in charge of them in the area. He guesstimates her to be a cousin, around 20 years old and says she was on her phone too much.
He also said she had no effect on getting to boys to stop. Still, did she contact the Mom if she was kin? None of us were there and were not put in that exact situation. Hindsight is 20/20 and the OP could have handled it differently. He did what he thought was for the best at the time. Hopefully no responsible parent has to be in that same situation.
 
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  • As I have stated. This is a tube slide. She could be come stuck inside because the boys are blocking her path...
  • Older kids are sprinting. If one slips and falls, they could cause serious damage to my daughter...
  • 3 boys worth of weight, sliding down the slide and hitting my daughter before he has a chance to exit. Probably not good for her well being.
  • Running past my daughter on the stairs. One false move and they could easily cause her to lose her balance...
It seems like they were doing a lot of roughhousing. None of this happens if you go get a LG as soon as you see running and rough play.

didn't threaten them. I didn't intend to remove them. They would be removing themselves.
for reference, a threat is when you promise hostile action if a condition is not met. Surely, getting the lifeguard is not considered hostile, considering it seems to be the prescribed action by Disney.
That's a very narrow definition. A threat is any promise to do harm to another, but especially if that harm is in retaliation for the person doing or not doing something. One can threaten legal action, for instance. The sky may threaten to rain.

You ordered those kids to leave the pool area and then threatened to go get a lifeguard when they didn't.
Originally, My thought was that as an adult I have implicit authority over young kids behaving in what I believe to be an unsafe manner.
You never have the authority to order anyone off of someone else's property, not without some paperwork stating you have. Especially over a stranger's kids.

She could come at me enraged because I'm a tattle tale.
First off, maybe... but if that happens at least the lifeguard and/or some resort staff will be present and security and/or police will be on the way. If you just provoke an argument right off and a fight breaks out, it may be precious minutes before the LG or resort staff even know it's happening. Just had another instance of someone "forgetting" they had put one of their pistols in the wife's purse, and getting found out at bag check. Not as likely at the Riviera as, say the average Chucke E. Cheese or Golden Corral, but just let the paid professionals handle the troublemakers.

Also ... consider the image of a grown man worried about being a tattle tale.
 
That's a very narrow definition. A threat is any promise to do harm to another, but especially if that harm is in retaliation for the person doing or not doing something.
OP provided choices, not threats.
You ordered those kids to leave the pool area and then threatened to go get a lifeguard when they didn't.
No. He told (ordered, if you insist) them to finish, or he would get a lifeguard
At this point, I told the boys "either your done here, or I'm going to have to get the life guard".
Consequence, not threat.
 


You have gotten some great advice. I agree that the best solution is to go to a lifeguard.

I find it so hard to keep my mouth when it comes to badly behaved children in public. I'm a teacher, and in my school district, we discipline all children in our schools, not just our own students.

Whenever we are out, my DD will remind me that this is not my school, and she will tell me to walk away. I remember one time in Target, a child was rolling on the floor at the pharmacy then tossed a rubber ball to his brother who was running up and down the aisles. The mother was 3 aisles away ignoring her kids. DD saw my mortified face, grabbed my arm, looked at me, and shook her head, "NO." Another time when I was alone in Target, a child was in the dollar aisle looking for something and throwing everything that wasn't what she wanted on the floor. The senior adult with her somehow didn't notice. I nearly tripped and fell on the stuff on the floor. I went up to the child, and in my most stern teacher voice said, "You pick everything up right now! Got it?" And she did with the help of her Grandma. I quickly left the area just in case Grandma got mad.

As challenging as it is, when we are in Disney and witness bad behavior, I always bite my tongue unless it directly affects my family.
 
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This whole thing is just more proof that kids are out of control, other parents don't have a clue what their kids are doing and don't care. If I view my kids in a situation where they could be hurt by another kid and there is no parent around I tell the kids to stop or else. I'm not going to deal with it. Parent your kids or I'll put them in their place. Not worth a kid getting hurt over something that can be quickly fixed. We were at a trampoline place that has a rule, no running, no sharing trampolines. This one kid kept jumping on my kids trampoline. I kept telling the older kid to stop. She went and whined to her mom, the mom got all pissy with my wife and I to which I pointed at the rules and said these are the rules, parent your kid or I will. Which we then got a safety person and they told her the same thing. She was pissed off...it was awesome. Don't be afraid to tell other kids to stop and watch out for others. They obviously didn't learn any kindness from their own family so someone has to tell them. Its not the kids fault but the parents and lack of parenting.
 
You have gotten some great advice. I agree that the best solution is to go to a lifeguard.

I find it so hard to keep my mouth when it comes to badly behaved children in public. I'm a teacher, and in my school district, we discipline all children in our schools, not just our own students.

Whenever we are out, my DD will remind me that this is not my school, and she will tell me to walk away. I remember one time in Target, a child was rolling on the floor at the pharmacy then tossed a rubber ball to his brother who was running up and down the aisles. The mother was 3 aisles away ignoring her kids. DD saw my mortified face, grabbed my arm, looked at me, and shook her head, "NO." Another time when I was alone in Target, a child was in the dollar aisle looking for something and throwing everything that wasn't what she wanted on the floor. The senior adult with her somehow didn't notice. I nearly tripped and fell on the stuff on the floor. I went up to the child, and in my most stern teacher voice said, "You pick everything up right now! Got it?" And she did with the help of her Grandma. I quickly left the area just in case Grandma got mad.

I like to think I'm an observant parent but if someone spoke sternly to my child instead of to me when I'm right there, I would be pissed. I think a better approach would have been something along the lines "did you notice your little one is throwing stuff all over the floor? I almost tripped".
 
OP provided choices, not threats.
..
Consequence, not threat.
The word "threaten" in this context is correct. When you tell someone, "Do [something] or I will [do something that negatively affects you]." You are threatening them with that action.

Definition of "Threaten"...
  • From Merriam-Webster:
    • 2a: to give signs or warning of : PORTEND
      "the clouds threatened rain"
    • 3: to announce as intended or possible
      "the workers threatened a strike"
  • From Cambridge Dictionary:
    • [ T ]
      to warn of something unpleasant or unwanted:
      "She threatened legal action against the newspaper"
I don't think anyone here has suggested that the man threatened these children with violence, and if he had said what he did to the children's guardian (ineffective as she might appear) he would have retained much of the moral superiority he thought he had in addressing the minors.

Instead he made the impotent gesture of yelling at kids, telling them to do something he's incapable of forcing them to do himself on the threat of going to get someone else to make them if they refuse. Call it whatever else you like but that is exactly what the OP describes.
 
I like to think I'm an observant parent but if someone spoke sternly to my child instead of to me when I'm right there, I would be pissed. I think a better approach would have been something along the lines "did you notice your little one is throwing stuff all over the floor? I almost tripped".
You are absolutely correct. I just lost my mind watching this happen in front of me while the old lady was oblivious and allowing the child to do this. Honestly, I was scolding both of them. I am fully aware that I had no right. I couldn’t stop myself.
 
Oh yeah, the teenage lifeguard, always a reliable source for guidance! Maybe we could get a Disney bus driver and over-the-phone CM to weigh in as well? 😆

Are you suggesting the people entrusted to keep your kids from drowning are not reliable? I have encounter them on more than one occasion and have been incredibly impressed to the point I send compliments to guest services and the management of the resort. I am that person who followed my DGD all over the pool never letting her out of my line of sight. WEll, that's fine, but those "tins" made sure I moved when I was in the path of their grid watch, and while they were polite, they were serious. I was grateful.

The thread is already huge so going a bit OT will not matter too much I think. I am dismayed that there are people who look at "young people" who are doing a job as less than an adult. Those "teenage lifeguards" are way more equipped to be in their position than many adults who disparage their abilities. They know the policy in place and how to address unsafe situations. Perhaps they cannot break up a disturbance between two adults, but they know who to call
 
The thread is already huge so going a bit OT will not matter too much I think. I am dismayed that there are people who look at "young people" who are doing a job as less than an adult. Those "teenage lifeguards" are way more equipped to be in their position than many adults who disparage their abilities. They know the policy in place and how to address unsafe situations. Perhaps they cannot break up a disturbance between two adults, but they know who to call

They are also not all “teenagers”. Minimum age would be 18 to begin with. And I know a couple of people who are adults well above 18 who have been hired and worked as resort pool lifeguards (both have moved up to be in supervisory/management positions, but still).
 
They are also not all “teenagers”. Minimum age would be 18 to begin with. And I know a couple of people who are adults well above 18 who have been hired and worked as resort pool lifeguards (both have moved up to be in supervisory/management positions, but still).

Exactly. I have also had the pleasure of meeting several of the lifegaurds staffing the resorts pools in DLR and after hearing some of their tales of the "adults" they had to deal with I am more inclined to respect the difficult job they are tasked with.
 
I like to think I'm an observant parent but if someone spoke sternly to my child instead of to me when I'm right there, I would be pissed. I think a better approach would have been something along the lines "did you notice your little one is throwing stuff all over the floor? I almost tripped".
Sometimes it’s just a no win. They get pissy when you speak to their child. They get defensive when you speak to them. I don’t think there’s any one right way when you’re in a situation and you’re dealing with it yourself. It’s going to vary depending on the situation, child and parent.
 
So this is my son’s class Holiday performance (he is the Orange Care Bear in front). He is pretty average in height as you can see compared to his class. He is tall enough for most of the rides at Disney, but won’t ride them because he still prefers Small World and slow rides. He also doesn’t know how to swim so we are sticking to the kiddie pool this year (and will call a lifeguard should there be trouble) 🤣
you have an extremely tall class! My DD was always just under average height in her classes and she was just over 40" in K.
 
Yet not one of those definitions even implies options. OP provided options, not ultimatums. Oh, and the examples all use some form of the word threat. You can't define a word with the word.

But the "option" of "you're done here" wasn't his option to give, and yelling it in an angry way is going to make a child feel threatened, not empowered to make choices. That's true anywhere--would it be okay to walk up to kid who spills a drink at a buffet line by monkeying around (thus creating a slip and fall hazard) and shout "you're done here or I'll got get a manager." What if kids are climbing on the bars and otherwise misbehaving in a ride queue at the parks? If you did, the manager/CM there would almost certainly tell you the same thing the lifeguard told OP: if you have a complaint about another guest and feel they are acting in a way that is unsafe, get a manager who will resolve it (without yelling), don't try to expel another person yourself.

The fact is, people are often not great judges of what behavior is actually acceptable--we can't go policing everyone according to our standards because maybe our standards are not the same as what Disney allows. OP was shocked at the concept that kids might run around and climb up and play inside an enclosed slide, but as I and several other people on this pointed out, that is a daily occurrence at almost any playground/splash pad. There was once a notorious thread on this board where people freaked out about kids being allowed to have bubble wands in the park, since it is dangerous for people with allergies to soap, yet Disney still allows it. And when dogs started being allowed at WDW resort, people were outraged and genuinely terrified that their kids were going to be bitten or terrorized. From reading these boards, you'd think strollers and scooters were lethal weapons.

Stay on this board long enough, and the one consistent thing you see is that the people who require a certain behavior of others around them and are willing to interfere angrily to get it are their own worst enemy--they are the ones (not the perceived "rule breakers") who end up getting in trouble with CMs. And they have a bad vacation because they can't get out of the mindset that they are not the rules police and other people who all just want to enjoy their vacation too. Just look at threads about dress code at restaurants (vacations, apparently, can be ruined by flip flops), lounger saving at the pools, seat saving at parades, kids on parents shoulders, the list goes on and on. The best thing to do is to let it go, focus on your family, and leave other people alone,. And if OP really felt it was unsafe (debatable, again, because of differing perceptions for what is normal play at a playground), the only fair thing to do is let an objective Disney employee decide who isn't clouded by parental anxiety/protectiveness for his daughter .
 
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