Should you have to get training and a permit to have a child?

[kdonnel]

I have read too many stories about kids being abused by their parents either physically or mentally. Too many kids are born into extreme poverty. Too many kids are born to parents who have serious medical and mental conditions that keep them from fully caring for themselves, let alone their child(ren).

Have we hit a point where we should require that prospective parent(s) receive counseling and training for what to expect before they have a child? Should a prospective parent receive financial counseling to understand the true cost of having a child?

Not everyone can adopt, there is criteria that must be met. Should the same criteria and more be applied to those who which to produce a child?

https://adoptionnetwork.com/requirements-to-adopt-a-child

• For domestic and international adoptions, the age of the prospective parents must be legal age, which is 21 years or older. There is also no age cutoff, meaning you can adopt as long as you are 21 or over. Typically for private and independent adoptions, the Birth Mother or parents select the adoptive home, which means their may be an age cut off if the mother so desires. Usually, 40 is the cutoff age, but it is subjective depending upon the preference of the Birth Parents. For international adoptions, age cutoffs depend upon the agency and country you are adopting from. In some counties, older parents are offered older children rather than infants and toddlers.
• Medical Health: Stable medical condition is necessary for prospective Adoptive Parents because it can determine whether or not adoption disruption is likely. If one or both of the parents have a history of a chronic illness or are currently experiencing a serious illness, a letter from their primary physician is needed stating that their physical stability, ability to parent, and expectation to live to a child’s majority (16 years old). Other issues, such as a history of substance abuse, may result in need for rehabilitation, and all other members of the household must prove that they are also physically stable.
• Emotional Health: Stable emotional health is incredibly important for prospective Adoptive Parents. If one or both parents have a current psychiatric illness, or if there is a history of such an illness, a professional statement vouching for their emotional stability is required. A doctor’s statement indicating stability and ability to parent is also needed if there is, or was, medication use. All additional household members must also be emotionally stable in order for the home to be considered safe for the adoptive child.
• Child Abuse History: Any household members over the age of 18 must undergo a child abuse clearance process for every U.S. state. If anything is found, it most likely will prevent adoption all together. For international adoption, the process is the same, but varies with each agency.
• Criminal History: A requirement of the adoption home study, both state and FBI clearances will be conducted for criminal history. If an arrest history is found, you will need to provide personal statements of the incident as well as dispositions. Rehabilitation will then be evaluated if needed. In some cases, certain criminal charges may prevent adoption all together.
• Marital History: Requirements vary for marriage history by adoption Agency and U.S. state, so it is best to check the specific requirements where you live. In some states, samesex partners, domestic partners, and singles may also be able to adopt.
• Financial Security: Though an income requirement is not usually specified, you will have to undergo an assessment to prove that you have the resources necessary to raise a child. The assessment will look over your income and assets, as well as proof of medical insurance.
• Home Environment: A home study will determine whether or not the home is a safe, secure place for a child to live. Requirements may vary depending upon each state’s own safety requirements and some countries may request proof of ownership of the home.
• Adoption and Parenting Education: Education: Some agencies will ask prospective parents to complete Adoptive Parent Education. This includes going over everything from the lifelong implications of adoption on the child and family, bonding and attachment, sharing adoption with the child and others, open or closed adoption, medical issues, academic issues, and emotional and developmental issues.

 

[Southernmiss]

I have read too many stories about kids being abused by their parents either physically or mentally. Too many kids are born into extreme poverty. Too many kids are born to parents who have serious medical and mental conditions that keep them from fully caring for themselves, let alone their child(ren).

Have we hit a point where we should require that prospective parent(s) receive counseling and training for what to expect before they have a child? Should a prospective parent receive financial counseling to understand the true cost of having a child?

Not everyone can adopt, there is criteria that must be met. Should the same criteria and more be applied to those who which to produce a child?

https://adoptionnetwork.com/requirements-to-adopt-a-child

• For domestic and international adoptions, the age of the prospective parents must be legal age, which is 21 years or older. There is also no age cutoff, meaning you can adopt as long as you are 21 or over. Typically for private and independent adoptions, the Birth Mother or parents select the adoptive home, which means their may be an age cut off if the mother so desires. Usually, 40 is the cutoff age, but it is subjective depending upon the preference of the Birth Parents. For international adoptions, age cutoffs depend upon the agency and country you are adopting from. In some counties, older parents are offered older children rather than infants and toddlers.
• Medical Health: Stable medical condition is necessary for prospective Adoptive Parents because it can determine whether or not adoption disruption is likely. If one or both of the parents have a history of a chronic illness or are currently experiencing a serious illness, a letter from their primary physician is needed stating that their physical stability, ability to parent, and expectation to live to a child’s majority (16 years old). Other issues, such as a history of substance abuse, may result in need for rehabilitation, and all other members of the household must prove that they are also physically stable.
• Emotional Health: Stable emotional health is incredibly important for prospective Adoptive Parents. If one or both parents have a current psychiatric illness, or if there is a history of such an illness, a professional statement vouching for their emotional stability is required. A doctor’s statement indicating stability and ability to parent is also needed if there is, or was, medication use. All additional household members must also be emotionally stable in order for the home to be considered safe for the adoptive child.
• Child Abuse History: Any household members over the age of 18 must undergo a child abuse clearance process for every U.S. state. If anything is found, it most likely will prevent adoption all together. For international adoption, the process is the same, but varies with each agency.
• Criminal History: A requirement of the adoption home study, both state and FBI clearances will be conducted for criminal history. If an arrest history is found, you will need to provide personal statements of the incident as well as dispositions. Rehabilitation will then be evaluated if needed. In some cases, certain criminal charges may prevent adoption all together.
• Marital History: Requirements vary for marriage history by adoption Agency and U.S. state, so it is best to check the specific requirements where you live. In some states, samesex partners, domestic partners, and singles may also be able to adopt.
• Financial Security: Though an income requirement is not usually specified, you will have to undergo an assessment to prove that you have the resources necessary to raise a child. The assessment will look over your income and assets, as well as proof of medical insurance.
• Home Environment: A home study will determine whether or not the home is a safe, secure place for a child to live. Requirements may vary depending upon each state’s own safety requirements and some countries may request proof of ownership of the home.
• Adoption and Parenting Education: Education: Some agencies will ask prospective parents to complete Adoptive Parent Education. This includes going over everything from the lifelong implications of adoption on the child and family, bonding and attachment, sharing adoption with the child and others, open or closed adoption, medical issues, academic issues, and emotional and developmental issues.

No.

 

[tvguy]

Well, most of the answers will be religious or political in nature, so not sure any of us can respond on this forum.

But, as a society we are at an interesting point. In nature, it is survival of the fittest. And what you are proposing is certainly humane, but it is altering the course of nature.

 

[Meriweather]

no

 

[Summer2018]

I have read too many stories about kids being abused by their parents either physically or mentally. Too many kids are born into extreme poverty. Too many kids are born to parents who have serious medical and mental conditions that keep them from fully caring for themselves, let alone their child(ren).

Have we hit a point where we should require that prospective parent(s) receive counseling and training for what to expect before they have a child? Should a prospective parent receive financial counseling to understand the true cost of having a child?

Not everyone can adopt, there is criteria that must be met. Should the same criteria and more be applied to those who which to produce a child?

https://adoptionnetwork.com/requirements-to-adopt-a-child

• For domestic and international adoptions, the age of the prospective parents must be legal age, which is 21 years or older. There is also no age cutoff, meaning you can adopt as long as you are 21 or over. Typically for private and independent adoptions, the Birth Mother or parents select the adoptive home, which means their may be an age cut off if the mother so desires. Usually, 40 is the cutoff age, but it is subjective depending upon the preference of the Birth Parents. For international adoptions, age cutoffs depend upon the agency and country you are adopting from. In some counties, older parents are offered older children rather than infants and toddlers.
• Medical Health: Stable medical condition is necessary for prospective Adoptive Parents because it can determine whether or not adoption disruption is likely. If one or both of the parents have a history of a chronic illness or are currently experiencing a serious illness, a letter from their primary physician is needed stating that their physical stability, ability to parent, and expectation to live to a child’s majority (16 years old). Other issues, such as a history of substance abuse, may result in need for rehabilitation, and all other members of the household must prove that they are also physically stable.
• Emotional Health: Stable emotional health is incredibly important for prospective Adoptive Parents. If one or both parents have a current psychiatric illness, or if there is a history of such an illness, a professional statement vouching for their emotional stability is required. A doctor’s statement indicating stability and ability to parent is also needed if there is, or was, medication use. All additional household members must also be emotionally stable in order for the home to be considered safe for the adoptive child.
• Child Abuse History: Any household members over the age of 18 must undergo a child abuse clearance process for every U.S. state. If anything is found, it most likely will prevent adoption all together. For international adoption, the process is the same, but varies with each agency.
• Criminal History: A requirement of the adoption home study, both state and FBI clearances will be conducted for criminal history. If an arrest history is found, you will need to provide personal statements of the incident as well as dispositions. Rehabilitation will then be evaluated if needed. In some cases, certain criminal charges may prevent adoption all together.
• Marital History: Requirements vary for marriage history by adoption Agency and U.S. state, so it is best to check the specific requirements where you live. In some states, samesex partners, domestic partners, and singles may also be able to adopt.
• Financial Security: Though an income requirement is not usually specified, you will have to undergo an assessment to prove that you have the resources necessary to raise a child. The assessment will look over your income and assets, as well as proof of medical insurance.
• Home Environment: A home study will determine whether or not the home is a safe, secure place for a child to live. Requirements may vary depending upon each state’s own safety requirements and some countries may request proof of ownership of the home.
• Adoption and Parenting Education: Education: Some agencies will ask prospective parents to complete Adoptive Parent Education. This includes going over everything from the lifelong implications of adoption on the child and family, bonding and attachment, sharing adoption with the child and others, open or closed adoption, medical issues, academic issues, and emotional and developmental issues.

In a perfect world, it would be nice. Unfortunately, I don't see it happening.

I just found out about my student's older sister who is a 7th grader in my school, is pregnant, and wants to keep the baby. Meanwhile, her mother just had a miscarriage. My four year-old student was almost a big brother and uncle within a couple of months.

The pregnant 7th grader lives in deep poverty, doesn't speak a word of English, and is a terrible student with behavioral issues.

That unborn child will be in my class in about 5 years. I can hardly wait.

 

[kdonnel]

My wife works in a level 2 autistic class. It makes me sad. Those parents can barely care for themselves and they have multiple special needs kids.

One mother has three severely autistic kids and is pregnant.

Another has been homeopathicly treating lice in their kid for 4 weeks.

None of the parents come to any of the school meetings dedicated to discussing their child’s individual education plans.

They should not be parents.

 

[disneychrista]

I honestly don't know how this can possibly be possible. Many pregnancy are unintended. What happens in those cases? When a woman/couple become pregnant but do not have a "permit?"

 

[Planogirl]

How would you enforce this? As previously mentioned accidents happen plus what do you if women purposely become pregnant?

 

[sailorstitch]

In theory it sounds like a good idea.... But I don't see it realistically working. First of all, who's going to pay for the classes/counseling? Are they going to tell parents "if you can't afford the classes, we're going to take your baby."

 

[MrWonderful]

So you would like the government in your bedroom?

Good luck with that...

 

[msjprincess]

No.


Like others have asked what happens to kids born to parents without permits? They're taken away? Lock up the parents? Where would all of these kids go? There aren't enough homes for the kids that are already in foster care. Using the above criteria there would be millions more.

ETA
I could see people without permits hiding pregnancies, not getting prenatal care, not getting medical care for their babies.

 

[kaytieeldr]

No. Just, no.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

No.

No. Just, no.

No.
.

no

1,000 times no.

 

[SpookyJ]

In a perfect world maybe.

Something way more ethically reasonable? Better and more well funded child protective services. Affordable or free community childcare services. Free and optional (but strongly advised) parenting classes. Universal healthcare. Better education about reproduction. Access to birth control and sterilization.

I don't even particularly care for children on a personal level, but they and their parents are human beings who should be treated as such.

 

[Southernmiss]

There are a lot of societal issues affecting children/youth today. Addressing these will go a lot further than the op's suggested training and permitting.

 

[scrhsa]

Emphatically NO!

 

[Klayfish]

The first thing I thought of when I read the topic was from the '80s movie Parenthood. It was said by Keanu Reeves character...can't repeat it here because of language but it's so much on point. In summary, he says you need a license to catch a fish but any knucklehead can be a parent.

I so much agree with that quote, and it's sad. In a "perfect" world, yes, I'd agree with the idea of a license/training/permit of some sort, but it'll never happen.

 

[neverlandsky]

ABSOLUATELY 100% NO! Sealed records of minor abuse victims would be forced to be unsealed and made public.

 

[rwdavis2]

Based on some of the 6th graders my daughter teaches, YES.

Edit: But seriously, no.

 

[lsyorke]

No...no....no.... It's mind boggling to me that someone would even come up with this.