Showing up unannounced

tvguy

Question anything the facts don't support.
Joined
Dec 15, 2003
We had some friends who did this. Never bothered me, but it was over 30 years ago. They were pretty predictable, Friday night. They'd get a baby sitter, go out to dinner then stop by. We had to make sure we had M & M's in the candy dish. At the time my wife and I both worked graveyard shift, so we would sleep until about 5 pm Friday and have the weekend off. We'd go minature golfing, or bowling or to a movie with these folks on the spur of the momment.
Very common when I was a kid in the early to mid-1960's. My parents friends would drop by unannounced. My dad would have to scurry to put his pants on because he was relaxing in his boxes. Of course my parents did the same thing.
One friend used to open the garage door, go through the garage, tie his dog up in the backyard, then knock on back sliding glass door.
Certainly not a good idea now with a pandemic.
 

eksmama01

Life is happening when busy making other plans
Joined
Oct 2, 2020
We had some friends who did this. Never bothered me, but it was over 30 years ago. They were pretty predictable, Friday night. They'd get a baby sitter, go out to dinner then stop by. We had to make sure we had M & M's in the candy dish. At the time my wife and I both worked graveyard shift, so we would sleep until about 5 pm Friday and have the weekend off. We'd go minature golfing, or bowling or to a movie with these folks on the spur of the momment.
Very common when I was a kid in the early to mid-1960's. My parents friends would drop by unannounced. My dad would have to scurry to put his pants on because he was relaxing in his boxes. Of course my parents did the same thing.
One friend used to open the garage door, go through the garage, tie his dog up in the backyard, then knock on back sliding glass door.
Certainly not a good idea now with a pandemic.
My SIL grew up in that same time period and DH says all of their relatives used to do that back in the day. They are southern country people and evidently that's what they were accustomed to doing. Nothing against southern or country.

Today she technically texted me...but it said "I am outside. Come to your door." You didn't know 25 miles ago at your house you were coming here so I could at least have a bra and combed hair? Lol, I sent DH to the door. He didn't even invite her in 😂
 
  • MrsJackSparrow4Life

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jun 20, 2009
    Growing up our house always had an open door policy so it was all I knew. When my husband and I were first dating I told him he could just walk in, no need to knock and he could not do it. It wasn’t until we moved in together he stopped knocking. His family hates unannounced visits so I always make sure to give them a heads up.
     

    TheIncredibles!

    Winner (?) of the Crazy MIL Award
    Joined
    Nov 7, 2010
    UGH hate it! We used to get the in-laws calling us on a Friday night asking us what times we would be home the next day so they can come out and visit "just for a bit, we don't even need to eat". UGH no! No. If you want to see us invite us out - in advance - and we do the same. If we have a weekend with time on our hands we want that for ourselves not to add more **** to do.
     

    PrincessShmoo

    DIS veteran
    Joined
    Feb 12, 2009
    It makes me CRAZY to have unannounced visitors. I know some probably welcome a drop in, but I can't stand it. My sister in law is particularly prone to doing this and it is making me bonkers. I've been married to her brother 23 years, but we have never lived in the same state until recently.

    It annoys me that I have to either deal with it or awkwardly say, please call or text to give me a heads up. Shouldn't it just be common courtesy? Ok, rant over. 😆
    I'm not adverse to leaving someone standing on the door step, as I grab my dish cloth or laundry basket, and say "Sorry, I'm just so busy today, maybe you could call ahead next time?" And shutting the door.

    Yes, it should be common courtesy, especially in these days.
     

    DVC-Don

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Dec 15, 2001
    My wifes family did this for years. One time we were on a day trip and gone all day. Early evening (about 7 PM)we got home to find her parents parked in our driveway. They lived 135 miles away from us. They said they just stopped a few minutes before we got home. Our neighbor told us they had been sitting in our driveway since 10 AM.
     
  • RangerPooh

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Aug 6, 2005
    Nope, don't like it. With 4 kids (plus a 43yo big kid :rolleyes: ) and 3big digs my house is always a mess. People stopping by unannounced is a stressor. We have made the exception for really close friends who accept us as is, but that's rare.
     

    DisneyHardin

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jan 20, 2010
    It doesn't bother me, but DH gets VERY upset if anyone comes to the door we aren't expecting.

    I also though, do it to my parents all the time. I only live about a mile from them and will be out running errands and just decide to drop by and say hi.
     
  • jdb in AZ

    It could end up curdled
    Joined
    Feb 11, 2011
    Here's one for you. The "Addams" family had an 18 yr-old son who got his girl friend pregnant and they decided to get hitched. The groom's family invited gpa (who lived 600 miles away) but kept the guest list very small. gpa invited himself to stay with his sister who lived some 30 miles from the wedding venue, but that sister was not invited to the wedding. She called the groom's mom (angling for an invitation) and said that the groom's gpa was planning to stay in the groom's family home. Rude awakening! Groom's mom was already stressed to the breaking point, and certainly didn't need her ornery father as an unexpected house guest. He could have afforded a hotel, but felt entitled to stay with the groom's family. Groom's family was already paying for the wedding (bride's family couldn't afford it) and didn't want to shell out more $$$ for gpa's hotel stay, so he made himself at home in their home and told his 15-yr-old dgd that he expected to come back in a couple of years when she "had" to get married like her brother. She hadn't even been on a date and cried through the wedding ceremony, appalled by the whole situation. And of course the marriage didn't last.
     

    mrodgers

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Oct 29, 2009
    This irks me too. I need advanced notice, or else I have to scramble to get my vampire mask and cape on when the missionaries come knocking.
    I've told this story before. Just do what my previous supervisor did.

    Every Wednesday he left work at 3 pm, "It's shootin night!" His father had a gun range on property across from my supervisor's home. He came in one Thursday to tell us what happened the night before.

    He opened the door to walk across the road to the range. Just as he opened the door, a young woman and young girl were standing there with pamphlets ready to knock on the door. He just looks at them with an ammo belt slung over each shoulder, a rifle or 2 slung over each shoulder, pistol on each hip, and thousands of rounds of ammo in boxes in his arms. He just looks at them and says, "Tonight's not a good night."

    Said he never literally has seen the color drain from someone's face like this woman. Her and the girl didn't say a word, just turned on their heels and ran for their car.
     

    eksmama01

    Life is happening when busy making other plans
    Joined
    Oct 2, 2020
    My wifes family did this for years. One time we were on a day trip and gone all day. Early evening (about 7 PM)we got home to find her parents parked in our driveway. They lived 135 miles away from us. They said they just stopped a few minutes before we got home. Our neighbor told us they had been sitting in our driveway since 10 AM.
    Oh my word. There aren't enough shock face emojis. Lol!!!
     

    disykat

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jun 5, 2000
    I don't mind if people drop in from nearby. We live near a pumpkin patch so we get drop ins around this time of year on occasion. They are close by and they think of me, I'm good with that. However, even that hasn't happened without a phone call since everyone started carrying cell phones.

    However, my in-laws did the "we drove 450 miles each way and she wouldn't even let us in" thing once. (That's what they told family members!) DH was at work and I was in a back bedroom napping with sick kids that had kept me up all night. I woke up when the neighbor called and said they left gifts at his house. ARGH. Still makes me mad thinking about it. There is no good reason to drive all that way without calling.
     

    yeahdisney

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Aug 21, 2004
    My mom does this to my sister every week. My sister has a keyless door code so my mom just lets herself in! No warning.
    For DS it was her second marriage so things were a happen’ In walks mom.

    DS was sick and in bed so mom pulled up a chair to her bed and yaked for 2 hours. And she likes to yak to her on the phone for 2 hours at a time EVERY OTHER DAY.

    I keep telling her DS likes to sleep in when she can but she refuses to take any hints.
     

    ronandannette

    I gave myself this tag and I "Like" myself too!
    Joined
    May 4, 2006
    Growing up it was normal to just drop in. We lived in the city (and were poor) so most of us didn’t have phone or cars. Stopping by someone’s house to chat or just ask a question was normal.

    Now I don’t like it. But no one does it. We get a text or call. I’m also one of those that is braless at home. So please call first.
    :laughing: I totally get it. I grew up in a very remote farm community; neighbours were at least 2 miles (a half-section) apart. Everybody knew everybody, including their vehicles and it was actually considered bad manners to drive by without stopping. Yes, a vehicle going by was unusual enough to attract attention and folks would wonder where someone was off to with such urgency that they didn't stop. It wasn't uncommon to have two or three different drop in guests for coffee and cookies per day.

    The older I got, the more I disliked it because I dreamed of living like a "city person" (which meant civilized to an adolescent farm kid). Nice to know kids in town suffered the same fate.
     

    mi*vida*loca

    Collect memories, not things
    Joined
    Mar 29, 2008
    :laughing: I totally get it. I grew up in a very remote farm community; neighbours were at least 2 miles (a half-section) apart. Everybody knew everybody, including their vehicles and it was actually considered bad manners to drive by without stopping. Yes, a vehicle going by was unusual enough to attract attention and folks would wonder where someone was off to with such urgency that they didn't stop. It wasn't uncommon to have two or three different drop in guests for coffee and cookies per day.

    The older I got, the more I disliked it because I dreamed of living like a "city person" (which meant civilized to an adolescent farm kid). Nice to know kids in town suffered the same fate.
    Lol. Yes same fate. We lived within walking distance from my grandparents and a few aunts and cousins. We dropped in every day. Friends too.

    When I went to Puerto Rico as a kid everyone just stops by everyone’s house to chat or have coffee or to bring them fresh food from their garden. It’s very normal.

    I think my mom and a few of my aunts may still just pop up to each others homes but it’s just among them. They are very close. I will say I still go to my moms and grandparents homes without calling. I just go.
     

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