Sister Wives

[mom2rtk]

I totally agree about Mariah. Her attitude is getting on my nerves. I think back to when her and Kody were talking about the situation and when he tried to own up to his end, she kept shaking her head and saying that it was all her moms fault. I wish Meri would just leave her alone, because at this point it seems like Mariah is the one that's going to have to end up missing her mother. I would not grovel anymore, because I TOTALLY agree that Mariah loves the power. The cat-fishing had nothing to do with her, yet it seems like she's trying to make it all about her.

No argument here. I think Mariah is just used to being the center of the universe. She always had sort of unique position in the family, being the only "only". And I imagine she and Meri were very tight when Mariah was growing up and Kody was off with his other wives. I think that led Mariah to feel like more than just a kid.

 

[Mizzoufan]

If Meri has anything to be upset about it's she didn't raise a more sympathetic daughter.

 

[Mizzoufan]

Just wondering how do many of you think you would react if you found out your parents who preach to you about the sanity of marriage and why plural is so great etc found out that one of your parents cheated. What Meri did is indeed cheating and Mariah knows it was more then that. The show is spinning this to be much less then it actually was. This was not just texting someone she thought was a man but also professing love and a desire to run off.

Also I hate when the person who was cheated on blames themselves. Yes Kody may not have been the best husband but Meri could have left the situation it isn't like Kody is abusive (and if he was it would be all over the internet by now). She could have left as I have to believe she has her own independent money from the family especially with the show and all. The cheater makes the ultimate decision to cheat and it is still cheating even if the other party has left them lonely.

I disagree with almost everything you have said. I will just leave it at that.

 

[mom2rtk]

Just wondering how do many of you think you would react if you found out your parents who preach to you about the sanity of marriage and why plural is so great etc found out that one of your parents cheated. What Meri did is indeed cheating and Mariah knows it was more then that. The show is spinning this to be much less then it actually was. This was not just texting someone she thought was a man but also professing love and a desire to run off.

Also I hate when the person who was cheated on blames themselves. Yes Kody may not have been the best husband but Meri could have left the situation it isn't like Kody is abusive (and if he was it would be all over the internet by now). She could have left as I have to believe she has her own independent money from the family especially with the show and all. The cheater makes the ultimate decision to cheat and it is still cheating even if the other party has left them lonely.

As much as I'm not a fan of Kody, I agree that he shouldn't blame himself. They all knew what they were signing up for. With plural marriage you get less than a full time husband. It sucks that her nest is empty and his isn't. But that's just part of this deal.

 

[gwynne]

Just wondering how do many of you think you would react if you found out your parents who preach to you about the sanity of marriage and why plural is so great etc found out that one of your parents cheated. What Meri did is indeed cheating and Mariah knows it was more then that. The show is spinning this to be much less then it actually was. This was not just texting someone she thought was a man but also professing love and a desire to run off.

Also I hate when the person who was cheated on blames themselves. Yes Kody may not have been the best husband but Meri could have left the situation it isn't like Kody is abusive (and if he was it would be all over the internet by now). She could have left as I have to believe she has her own independent money from the family especially with the show and all. The cheater makes the ultimate decision to cheat and it is still cheating even if the other party has left them lonely.

I think it's more complicated than "just" cheating. I'm not excusing anything, but I believe Meri was deliberately deceived.
It would be a kindness if someone would OFF CAMERA sit down and talk to Mariah about this situation. The theme: Mom made a huge mistake. Sometimes people make mistakes. It may be that at some time in your life, Mariah, you may make some sort of mistake. Maybe not like this, but something you will want very much to make amends and eventually be forgiven for.
Meri needs to continue to take responsibility for her part in this, and I hope that eventually Mariah learns that forgiveness will help in her healing and her ability to move on with her own life.

 

[wilkeliza]

I think it's more complicated than "just" cheating. I'm not excusing anything, but I believe Meri was deliberately deceived.
It would be a kindness if someone would OFF CAMERA sit down and talk to Mariah about this situation. The theme: Mom made a huge mistake. Sometimes people make mistakes. It may be that at some time in your life, Mariah, you may make some sort of mistake. Maybe not like this, but something you will want very much to make amends and eventually be forgiven for.
Meri needs to continue to take responsibility for her part in this, and I hope that eventually Mariah learns that forgiveness will help in her healing and her ability to move on with her own life.

I agree with what you are saying. I think what Mariah is stuck on is that Meri seems to be taking no responsibility for her actions. She is blaming the catfish, Kody, Mariah leaving for college and everyone else but herself. She has to take some responsibility for that action and talk to Mariah (off camera) about how she made an awful mistake, she knows she hurt Mariah and the family, and that she is going to work to make it right with everyone. Of course for all we know this whole portion of the catfish and how Mariah is acting could just be for the show because TLC seems to be stringing this specific story line on as long as humanly possible.

 

[brockash]

I have to say Janelle's reaction was my favorite. She was just so relieved that Mariah's revelation wasn't something awful, haha. Followed by Kodi's, "Know you are safe and loved." Think what you will about him but at his core he's a man who loves his kids above all else.

I was annoyed by both Mariah and Meri. Mariah seems hell bent on punishing Meri and Meri needs to back off and let the girl breath a little bit. That said, Meri's transgressions are not Mariah's to forgive. I can understand her being upset but it's not as black and white as she sees it. Meri is 100% responsible for her actions but her emotional state at the time was a perfect storm for this kind of thing and even Kodi admits that he contributed to it by essentially ignoring her. Mariah just doesn't have the life experience or relationship experience to judge IMO. Meri needs to stop groveling and Mariah will stop punishing. Mariah is digging the power she has over her mother's emotions and it makes me dislike her immensely.

I don't necessarily agree with that. When you have kids, almost everything you do impacts them in some way. Now, Mariah was older and not living at home, so I don't see it as much of an issue in this situation, however at the end of the day, Meri is Mariah's mom and her mom made a mistake that would of and did have impacts on the entire family, so yes, I do think Meri owes Mariah an apology, however I also think Mariah's really taking it to an extreme.

 

[wenrob]

Just wondering how do many of you think you would react if you found out your parents who preach to you about the sanctity of marriage and why plural is so great etc found out that one of your parents cheated. What Meri did is indeed cheating and Mariah knows it was more then that. The show is spinning this to be much less then it actually was. This was not just texting someone she thought was a man but also professing love and a desire to run off.

Also I hate when the person who was cheated on blames themselves. Yes Kody may not have been the best husband but Meri could have left the situation it isn't like Kody is abusive (and if he was it would be all over the internet by now). She could have left as I have to believe she has her own independent money from the family especially with the show and all. The cheater makes the ultimate decision to cheat and it is still cheating even if the other party has left them lonely.

Well, I'm coming at it from the perspective of someone who has been married a very, very long time. Marital issues are very rarely one sided. I'm also coming at it as someone who has been crushingly lonely while being surrounded by people. In my case I ate myself to 231lbs and spent crazy amounts of money on ridiculous things. Fortunately for me my husband did not jump on a divorce and then go marry the younger more favored wife. I'm not excusing Meri's actions, I can just see how she got there. And I don't think Kody is taking the blame on himself, he's acknowledging his role in it. He checked out emotionally and he admits it. Meri has admitted to doing the same. I just don't think it's a black and white issue.

If one of my parents cheated of course I'd be pissed but like I said in my previous post it would not be my place to forgive. But again that's because I have the life experience to know that's not my place. Mariah is judging on something she knows nothing about and is frankly, none of her business.

eta: I think the family as a whole is trying to downplay the catfish thing and make Meri the victim so it doesn't seem as bad as it was. But last episode when someone called Meri a victim she said not to say that. I think she knows her part in all this.

 

[wenrob]

I don't necessarily agree with that. When you have kids, almost everything you do impacts them in some way. Now, Mariah was older and not living at home, so I don't see it as much of an issue in this situation, however at the end of the day, Meri is Mariah's mom and her mom made a mistake that would of and did have impacts on the entire family, so yes, I do think Meri owes Mariah an apology, however I also think Mariah's really taking it to an extreme.

Maybe if I was much younger and haven't been married for so long I'd lean more towards that way but my marriage and what happens in it is between myself and my husband. My marriage and my family unit are two separate things. I'm not saying that Mariah doesn't have a right to be upset, she absolutely does but she doesn't have a right to demand Meri makes it right with her.

 

[brockash]

Well, I'm coming at it from the perspective of someone who has been married a very, very long time. Marital issues are very rarely one sided. I'm also coming at it as someone who has been crushingly lonely while being surrounded by people. In my case I ate myself to 231lbs and spent crazy amounts of money on ridiculous things. Fortunately for me my husband did not jump on a divorce and then go marry the younger more favored wife. I'm not excusing Meri's actions, I can just see how she got there. And I don't think Kody is taking the blame on himself, he's acknowledging his role in it. He checked out emotionally and he admits it. Meri has admitted to doing the same. I just don't think it's a black and white issue.

If one of my parents cheated of course I'd be pissed but like I said in my previous post it would not be my place to forgive. But again that's because I have the life experience to know that's not my place. Mariah is judging on something she knows nothing about and is frankly, none of her business.

While I agree with you that in a real relationship with 2 people who are decent human beings, cheating is almost never black and white, and I don't think it was in this case. I do believe that Meri was not in a good place and I applaud Kody for the way he's handle the situation, however I do think there are times that parents do owe their kids an apology and/or that their kids have to find forgiveness for a parent that cheated on the other parent. It is not just about you once you have kids. Everything you do, all the choices you make impact your kids. My dad cheated on my mom and eventually left her for my step-mom when I was young. He took so much away from my sisters and me...a mom who wasn't heart-broken and crushed, a family with 2 parents, security/trust etc. My parents were and are both good parents and good people and my dad has always been a good dad, however yes his choices had a ridiculous impact on me and my life. We are all fine relationship-wise and really always were and I'm able to see the good out of the situation and I love my dad to death, but that doesn't take away the fact, that yes I 100% had something to forgive. It wasn't just about my mom and my dad, it was also about the kids...just as it is now in my own life with my own kids. Every choice my DH and I make about our relationship impacts them in some way. Your life is not only yours once you have children.

 

[brockash]

Maybe if I was much younger and haven't been married for so long I'd lean more towards that way but my marriage and what happens in it is between myself and my husband. My marriage and my family unit are two separate things. I'm not saying that Mariah doesn't have a right to be upset, she absolutely does but she doesn't have a right to demand Meri makes it right with her.

They may be 2 things, however they both impact the other, so no if you have kids, your marriage and what happens is not just about you and your DH. Those little people (or perhaps adults now) that you and your DH brought into this world are impacted by your marriage and what happens in it.

 

[wenrob]

They may be 2 things, however they both impact the other, so no if you have kids, your marriage and what happens is not just about you and your DH. Those little people (or perhaps adults now) that you and your DH brought into this world are impacted by your marriage and what happens in it.

Maybe I'm not coming across right. Of course what I do in my marriage affects my kids but I don't owe them an explanation for what happens in my marriage. That seems to be what Mariah wants. I just think there's a very fine line there and Mariah wants to cross it. As far as I can tell Meri has apologized to Mariah repeatedly for her being hurt in all of this. Mariah wants Meri to pay penance to HER. That's where I feel it's not her place. Does that make any sense? I know what I'm trying to say but I don't think it's coming out right.

 

[gwynne]

Maybe I'm not coming across right. Of course what I do in my marriage affects my kids but I don't owe them an explanation for what happens in my marriage. That seems to be what Mariah wants. I just think there's a very fine line there and Mariah wants to cross it. As far as I can tell Meri has apologized to Mariah repeatedly for her being hurt in all of this. Mariah wants Meri to pay penance to HER. That's where I feel it's not her place. Does that make any sense? I know what I'm trying to say but I don't think it's coming out right.

Sometimes someone gets into the habit of feeling wronged and won't see that it's time to let it go. This stuff is occupying a lot of space in her head. It's an unhealthy choice, and she probably needs someone to help her see that.
She needs to get busy with her future.

 

[mom2rtk]

Sometimes someone gets into the habit of feeling wronged and won't see that it's time to let it go. This stuff is occupying a lot of space in her head. It's an unhealthy choice, and she probably needs someone to help her see that.
She needs to get busy with her future.

Nancy, anyone?

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Meri needs to just leave the marriage. IMO she doesn't want to be there. She's only there because she's afraid to be alone.

Janelle checked out long ago. She just goes with the motions. Christine was made for this lifestyle. Robin was an abused wife who took whatever she could get and is just happy to have a man that takes care of her.

I've always wondered what are the sleeping arrangements. Have they ever discussed this> I used to watch Big Love on HBO and they had a schedule on which nights he slept at each house and they had a fair split. I feel like he sleeps where the "help" is needed most.

 

[wilkeliza]

Meri needs to just leave the marriage. IMO she doesn't want to be there. She's only there because she's afraid to be alone.

Janelle checked out long ago. She just goes with the motions. Christine was made for this lifestyle. Robin was an abused wife who took whatever she could get and is just happy to have a man that takes care of her.

I've always wondered what are the sleeping arrangements. Have they ever discussed this> I used to watch Big Love on HBO and they had a schedule on which nights he slept at each house and they had a fair split. I feel like he sleeps where the "help" is needed most.

There use to be a rotating schedule but it doesn't seem to be the case any more. I agree with Janelle that things went south once they were no longer in the same building. When they shared living space and were forced to interact daily it was a true situation of everyone pitching in etc. Now they are in different houses they do have their own lives, their own kids, etc. I mean it is much different to have to call and see if someone is home then it is to just walk across the house or downstairs.

 

[bethbuchall]

Sister Wives disappeared from my OnDemand except for the wedding episodes! I'm glad that I watched the 3-hour one with Mariah's big news the "Meri through the years" bit before it was gone, but now I need to go look for what else I missed. Was there only one episode after that one?

 

[mom2rtk]

Sister Wives disappeared from my OnDemand except for the wedding episodes! I'm glad that I watched the 3-hour one with Mariah's big news the "Meri through the years" bit before it was gone, but now I need to go look for what else I missed. Was there only one episode after that one?

Yes, but it's also a 3 hour episode. They're going to lose me if they keep up with the 3 hour nonsense.

Meri needs to just leave the marriage. IMO she doesn't want to be there. She's only there because she's afraid to be alone.

Janelle checked out long ago. She just goes with the motions. Christine was made for this lifestyle. Robin was an abused wife who took whatever she could get and is just happy to have a man that takes care of her.

I've always wondered what are the sleeping arrangements. Have they ever discussed this> I used to watch Big Love on HBO and they had a schedule on which nights he slept at each house and they had a fair split. I feel like he sleeps where the "help" is needed most.

I bet Meri would be gone already if it wasn't for the show.

 

[wenrob]

Yes, but it's also a 3 hour episode. They're going to lose me if they keep up with the 3 hour nonsense.


I bet Meri would be gone already if it wasn't for the show.

I never watch the third hour. It's just recaps basically isn't it?

 

[bethbuchall]

Yes, but it's also a 3 hour episode. They're going to lose me if they keep up with the 3 hour nonsense.


I bet Meri would be gone already if it wasn't for the show.

Thanks! I agree with you on both counts. The 3-hour episodes are too much for me. Meri is checked out, and I don't think Kody really cares that she is. I think that Janelle has indicated in the past that she and Kody have more of a business relationship these days, but that seems to work for her. I don't think Meri can live that way.