The Guilt of the Adult Only Trip...

Diana or Di

And always let your conscience be your guide!
Joined
Apr 5, 2016
So this post is mostly tongue-in-cheek, but I really did feel ALL THE GUILT over my Feb trip to the World. In fairness to me, I was invited along on my best friend's 40th birthday trip, and naturally it would have been rude to ask if my kids could come along.

But the GUILT you guys!!!! My 8 year old felt BETRAYED. She was the one I prepped WELL in advance. I laugh here, but honestly, she's in a mommy-intensive phase and I've never left them for a whole week before. And I mean, they're still younger. The 8 and 12 year old anyway. The 14 year old was fine.

I know I'll go for long weekends and such when they're older, for ME trips. But I can't do another trip that long I don't think. It really did put a little tarnish on what was otherwise an incredible trip. I still dream about the sunsets you can see from the Skyliner. And the restaurant experiences that would bore the crap out of them? I'm so grateful I did it, and as a single mom, the recharge was amazing. I had an alcoholic beverage at every meal.

Also, I saved all my snack credits and used them all for candy to take home for them. The souvenir they appreciate the most. :D :D :D :D :D
 
My kids were about 10 & 12 when they left US for almost 3 weeks in South
Africa!
They were each in 3rd or 4th grade (respectively) when they individually left to spend 4 -6 weeks sailing in the Caribbean!
So we never felt any guilt about taking a long weekend or even a week to get a vacation in for ourselves!

I say, go, recharge, enjoy yourself once in a while. Makes you a better parent, and it teaches your kids independence and self reliance. Good for everyone at one point or another!
 
I feel you. We went to Scotland last summer for a friends wedding. We brought our youngest who turned one while we were there. There's no way the other two could have come to the wedding. So that meant we would have had to hire a babysitter. Plus all of the additional costs. My oldest (who turns 6 this summer) just asked again recently why we didn't bring her and her brother. I feel bad, but I also know our options were to leave them or not go. I felt really bad when she asked. I explained to her that it would have been very expensive and a lot more work so we couldn't bring them.
 
My kids were about 10 & 12 when they left US for almost 3 weeks in South
Africa!
They were each in 3rd or 4th grade (respectively) when they individually left to spend 4 -6 weeks sailing in the Caribbean!
So we never felt any guilt about taking a long weekend or even a week to get a vacation in for ourselves!

I say, go, recharge, enjoy yourself once in a while. Makes you a better parent, and it teaches your kids independence and self reliance. Good for everyone at one point or another!

Awwww what an amazing experience for them!!! My elder two are on the autism spectrum and as I said, my youngest is mommy-intensive, and while they stayed with the grandparents, the change in routine was not without its share of bumps. Neither of the younger two have ever wanted to spend the night away from home that wasn't with other family that they are familiar with, and the eldest who is now 15 didn't want to start sleep overs and such until probably...a couple years ago maybe? I let them determine their own comfort levels. The youngest is about to turn 9 in a few days, so my travel limitations are fairly short-lived in the grand scheme of things. :D :D :D :D :D

I offered my oldest, in his first year of high school, to go on a People to People trip offered through his school, and he seemed interested, but not ready for it yet. I'm going to ask again for next school year. I feel like each year he's a little more confident to try new things.
 
I feel you. We went to Scotland last summer for a friends wedding. We brought our youngest who turned one while we were there. There's no way the other two could have come to the wedding. So that meant we would have had to hire a babysitter. Plus all of the additional costs. My oldest (who turns 6 this summer) just asked again recently why we didn't bring her and her brother. I feel bad, but I also know our options were to leave them or not go. I felt really bad when she asked. I explained to her that it would have been very expensive and a lot more work so we couldn't bring them.
THE GUILT!!!!!!

I think you made the right call though. International travel when the oldest is 4/5 and an infant for what was probably a quick turn around trip that was dependent on someone else's schedule ( ie the wedding events) would have been miserably trying for everyone, even the jet-lagged kiddos. XOXOXO
 
We left our kiddos for 8 days when they were 3 and 4.5 to go on a cruise for our anniversary and I feel like I did pretty well in terms of guilt. But Disney is a whole other ball game. I think I'd lie. LOL 😄
 
We were the other way - no guilt at all. We didn't tell our kids though, we just told them we were going away for a few days (I think we even said Florida). We went for a 4-night stay for our 10th anniversary two summers ago when our kids were 4 and 6. We went last fall again for a 4-night and they were 5 1/2 and 7 at the time. They were also excited to get a long weekend with their grandparents. We did have a few times where we'd mention about the kids liking something or how we couldn't wait until our daughter is tall enough for certain rides (she's very small for her age), but overall, we've loved it.

Our plan was actually to add on another DVC contract this summer for Riviera to try and go just ourselves each year (most likely in the fall). Now with everything, that's put on hold. Now we'll just have to figure out how to tell the kids in the future before we go without them - that will indeed be the tough part and I'm sure they'll try to make us feel guilty.
 


I'm considering going by myself since my young kids won't be able to wear masks all day or refrain from touching things/touching their faces, etc. But I would feel so guilty not bringing them. I'm 99% sure I'm just going to cancel...
 
We were the other way - no guilt at all. We didn't tell our kids though, we just told them we were going away for a few days (I think we even said Florida). We went for a 4-night stay for our 10th anniversary two summers ago when our kids were 4 and 6. We went last fall again for a 4-night and they were 5 1/2 and 7 at the time. They were also excited to get a long weekend with their grandparents. We did have a few times where we'd mention about the kids liking something or how we couldn't wait until our daughter is tall enough for certain rides (she's very small for her age), but overall, we've loved it.

Our plan was actually to add on another DVC contract this summer for Riviera to try and go just ourselves each year (most likely in the fall). Now with everything, that's put on hold. Now we'll just have to figure out how to tell the kids in the future before we go without them - that will indeed be the tough part and I'm sure they'll try to make us feel guilty.

Yeah it's easier when they don't know, for sure. Mine were 8, 12, and 14 at the time of travel. They KNEW. :D :D :D
 
I'm considering going by myself since my young kids won't be able to wear masks all day or refrain from touching things/touching their faces, etc. But I would feel so guilty not bringing them. I'm 99% sure I'm just going to cancel...

I feel like a long weekend would be okay, right? Not long enough that they'd notice but enough time for you to recharge??

I went for a week. It was tough. That said, I just booked MY 40th birthday trip for September/October of '21 and it's another adults only trip. But I'm hoping a) I'll have just traveled with the kids there in March and b) they'll be 10+ so maybe it won't bother them, particularly the youngest, as much? Here's hoping.
 
I feel like a long weekend would be okay, right? Not long enough that they'd notice but enough time for you to recharge??

I went for a week. It was tough. That said, I just booked MY 40th birthday trip for September/October of '21 and it's another adults only trip. But I'm hoping a) I'll have just traveled with the kids there in March and b) they'll be 10+ so maybe it won't bother them, particularly the youngest, as much? Here's hoping.

I went for a long weekend in December as a solo trip! It was AMAZING to have that time to recharge and just do whatever I wanted. However, you are a more honest parent than me because I totally lied to my children about where I was :rotfl:
 
Is the guilt that you are going on vacation or that you are going to Disney?

No guilt here when taking adult only trips. Disney or other locations. Honesty is the best policy. Adults need their recharge time also.
 
I told my husband that him and I should go alone when the new Star Wars hotel opened so we could experience it without spending quite so much $$. He's a huge Star Wars fan. You would have thought I suggested moving away from our kids they way they reacted, an ultimate betrayal for even the suggestion. I would LOVE an adult only trip. We've only spent one night away from them, ever (6, 8, & 11) and it was because my husband got drunk (he never drinks) at a buddies party and didn't want to drive over an hour home. Please don't feel guilty for recharging, I would jump on that opportunity!
 
Mom of 3 here and I've been a few times without my kids. Once was a girls trip for a long weekend, my friend had a work conference and I tagged along. Once was for our 15 year wedding anniversary, again, just a long weekend and once was a couples 40th birthday trip for 4 nights. I had a great time each time and don't regret those trips. Of course, you have the Mom guilt and of course you think about them constantly and miss them a lot. But, we have brought our kids to Disney multiple times already and we also do lots of other family trips.

Our next trip will be the whole family again and we can't wait. I think there's a reason and season for many different types of Disney trips and you can fully enjoy Disney just with adults and that it's OK to do that. Of course, my favorite time at Disney is when my kids are with me. But I also think it's good for your marriage, friendships and personal well being to take the Mom or Dad hat off every once in a while and enjoy things sans kids. It's healthy to give yourself permission to do that when the opportunities come up and the moment is right. Life is short!
 
Not a mom, but I have three younger sisters. I went to WDW for the first time when I was 17, and my parents wouldn’t let me tell my then-7-year-old sister where I was going. When she did find out, she was NOT happy 🤣 (Altho I was also gone during her birthday so I’m sure that didn’t help!)

Now I’m 25, and I’m trying to plan a Disney trip for 2021 with two of my sisters (21 and 16). The other sister is 5, and I already feel guilty for not including her. Love her to death, but adding her to the mix would complicate matters in a way I’m not willing to deal with 🤣 Luckily only the 16yo still lives at home, and by the time the trip comes around she will have graduated and potentially moved out of the house, so hopefully the 5yo won’t even notice we’ve gone off without her!
 
Diana you sound like a great mom your kids are lucky to have you <3

That's all I had to add to the convo since I don't have kids :boat: Although one time my sister and I went without my parents and their reaction of betrayal was similar to many described on here 😂
 
I went for a long weekend in December as a solo trip! It was AMAZING to have that time to recharge and just do whatever I wanted. However, you are a more honest parent than me because I totally lied to my children about where I was :rotfl:
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Omg too funny. Yeah I'm not great at making up lies and they'd ask a million questions. They're older though too, so not as easy to BS. :D:D
 
Is the guilt that you are going on vacation or that you are going to Disney?

No guilt here when taking adult only trips. Disney or other locations. Honesty is the best policy. Adults need their recharge time also.

Def that I was going to Disney. They'd prefer to travel with me wherever I go, but adding on to it that I was going to Disney without them was like, the child equivalent of "AYFKM?!?!"
 
Diana you sound like a great mom your kids are lucky to have you <3

That's all I had to add to the convo since I don't have kids :boat: Although one time my sister and I went without my parents and their reaction of betrayal was similar to many described on here 😂

Aww thanks so much! I can but try!

Also, that is HILARIOUS. I will totally be your parents one day. "You're going where?! You didn't ask me to come?!?! How very dare you!"
 
Mom of 3 here and I've been a few times without my kids. Once was a girls trip for a long weekend, my friend had a work conference and I tagged along. Once was for our 15 year wedding anniversary, again, just a long weekend and once was a couples 40th birthday trip for 4 nights. I had a great time each time and don't regret those trips. Of course, you have the Mom guilt and of course you think about them constantly and miss them a lot. But, we have brought our kids to Disney multiple times already and we also do lots of other family trips.

Our next trip will be the whole family again and we can't wait. I think there's a reason and season for many different types of Disney trips and you can fully enjoy Disney just with adults and that it's OK to do that. Of course, my favorite time at Disney is when my kids are with me. But I also think it's good for your marriage, friendships and personal well being to take the Mom or Dad hat off every once in a while and enjoy things sans kids. It's healthy to give yourself permission to do that when the opportunities come up and the moment is right. Life is short!

For sure I think that I'd feel a lot less guilt over weekend trips. Like, a quick jet and back before you really have time to be missed, is what I'd at least be able to convince myself of.
 

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