Veteran w. Anxiety/PTSD

[JessBadger]

I am currently helping plan our families WDW trip for my mom, dad, brother, sister-in-law, husband, myself, and my two younger adopted brothers (10 & 8). My brother is an air force veteran and is having a really hard time with feeling anxious about being at Disney. It's a case of anxiety and some PTSD, but exacerbated by not having ever been to Disney before.

He is seeing a doctor because it's not just a Disney issue, but does anyone else have any suggestions or have you dealt with this?

Is there anything we can do to make the experience enjoyable for him and help ease his anxiety and make the trip enjoyable for him? We are staying offsite and that has made him feel better that he can always leave the park and go offsite if he's feeling overwhelmed, but I want to make sure we do anything we can to help him enjoy it.

Thank you in advance for any help you can provide!

 

[sponica]

Not knowing the triggers, is it a large crowds thing? Everyone's anxiety/PTSD is different in the triggers and manifestation.

I can't give great advice without knowing more specifics...

You also might want to hop over to the DisAbilities board to see if anyone there has experience with this sort of thing.

 

[Nancyg56]

First, please thank your brother for his serice and sacrifice. PTSD is awful, my nephew suffers from this as well.

My biggest concern would be the fireworks. I am not sure how other vets manage this, but know the timing of each show so you can be prepared. If he is sensitive to noise and flashing lights he will want to be prepared.

Crowds and sudden jostling may be problematic as well. I would plan on scheduling breaks, either in a TS restaurant or somewhre in the parks that is quiet so he can just decompress. For instance, there are gardens in Epcot, Tom Sawyers Island in MK, that offer some cool solitude. The people, the constant noise level, it just can be too stimulating, so having a place in mind in every park may alleviat some of that stress. Tell him you will have them mapped out for him so that no matter which park you are in, he has his escape route planned. I would also have a bit of a plan in place so that you all have a good idea where you want to head and are not winging it. PArt of what may be making him stress is that he has no idea what to expect once he arrives. Knowing that you have mapped out a route that you can follow, one that has his secluded oasis in mind, may be helpful.

My oldest son's anxiety level skyrocketed when we started planning a trip until my DDIL told him that she and I would plan one together and we let the one with him go. It was just too much for hm to get past. I knew he would have insisted on joining her for parades, etc, so I suggested that on the day we wanted to see a parade or evening entertainment we book a party so that we would not be holding hands, shoulder to shoulder, with 30,000 of our new best friends.

I woudl also suggest that you head over to the DISabilities forum. While I am in no way suggesting that your brither has a disability, he does have challenges that those folks over on that forum may be able to mitigate with their knowledge and idea.

 

[JessBadger]

Not knowing the triggers, is it a large crowds thing? Everyone's anxiety/PTSD is different in the triggers and manifestation.

I can't give great advice without knowing more specifics...

You also might want to hop over to the DisAbilities board to see if anyone there has experience with this sort of thing.

It's the large crowd/scanning for dangers. I will definitely head over to the DisAbilities board because I knew this was definitely something other people have dealt with.

First, please thank your brother for his serice and sacrifice. PTSD is awful, my nephew suffers from this as well.

My biggest concern would be the fireworks. I am not sure how other vets manage this, but know the timing of each show so you can be prepared. If he is sensitive to noise and flashing lights he will want to be prepared.

Crowds and sudden jostling may be problematic as well. I would plan on scheduling breaks, either in a TS restaurant or somewhre in the parks that is quiet so he can just decompress. For instance, there are gardens in Epcot, Tom Sawyers Island in MK, that offer some cool solitude. The people, the constant noise level, it just can be too stimulating, so having a place in mind in every park may alleviat some of that stress. Tell him you will have them mapped out for him so that no matter which park you are in, he has his escape route planned. I would also have a bit of a plan in place so that you all have a good idea where you want to head and are not winging it. PArt of what may be making him stress is that he has no idea what to expect once he arrives. Knowing that you have mapped out a route that you can follow, one that has his secluded oasis in mind, may be helpful.

My oldest son's anxiety level skyrocketed when we started planning a trip until my DDIL told him that she and I would plan one together and we let the one with him go. It was just too much for hm to get past. I knew he would have insisted on joining her for parades, etc, so I suggested that on the day we wanted to see a parade or evening entertainment we book a party so that we would not be holding hands, shoulder to shoulder, with 30,000 of our new best friends.

I woudl also suggest that you head over to the DISabilities forum. While I am in no way suggesting that your brither has a disability, he does have challenges that those folks over on that forum may be able to mitigate with their knowledge and idea.

Fireworks aren't a trigger for him, it's more the crowd levels and having the mindset/training of landmarks being "targets". Basically if it's just too many people and not having exit strategies in case of an issue, so I do think the quiet areas/exit strategies is definitely a great idea. I will make sure to include him in the planning of the touring plans and figure out some good places where he can feel safe. I do think we will make plans that he won't have to go with us to some of the more crowded areas (like parades) or finding a more off to the side location to view it rather than being squished in without a way out.

 

[sponica]

I definitely think adjusting HIS touring plan might be worth looking into (if he's ok with missing some things). Getting there just after rope drop to capitalize on lower crowds or maybe having him go later in the day when the first round of meltdowns start happening, avoiding fantasy land in the middle of the day....maybe he can do his own thing during the parade (it gets less crowded in other areas because people want to see the parade).

Epcot definitely feels LESS crowded because the pathways around world showcase are so wide and because there are exits at opposite ends of the park, you don't feel as trapped.

The nature trails at Animal Kingdom are nice and don't always feel crowded.

Maybe even find some lower key resorts for him to visit if he needs to...like taking the boat to wilderness lodge if at MK, or a bus to animal kingdom lodge.

While there isn't such a thing as a slow time at disney anymore, if I truly wanted a low crowd time, I would do late August, early September if possible. Yeah it's hot, but I think the lower crowds are worth it.

 

[siestakeys04]

Not that you wouldn’t want him to go with you could you guys plan something maybe outside of Disney that he could enjoy? Maybe he doesn’t have to go with you guys all the time. I do like your idea to let him help plan and maybe come up with an exit to a quite place or something if he starts to get overwhelmed. I appreciate his service and I do hope you all have a great time!!!!

 

[JessBadger]

Not that you wouldn’t want him to go with you could you guys plan something maybe outside of Disney that he could enjoy? Maybe he doesn’t have to go with you guys all the time. I do like your idea to let him help plan and maybe come up with an exit to a quite place or something if he starts to get overwhelmed. I appreciate his service and I do hope you all have a great time!!!!

Unfortunately, every vacation option causes him to start spiraling because it’s all about risk analysis (his words). He wants us to be able to go to Disney because his wife went every year with her family and it’s important to her, so he’s trying to figure out ways for it to work, but obviously it’s just something we need to take into account and since I’ve only been once I’m not sure what all the options are for making it work for him.

 

[sponica]

I'm just thinking out loud here, but maybe if you sit down with him and go land by land to find a "quietish" place to hang out because the reality is, it's a long walk from the back of the parks all the way to the front if he needs to calm himself down.

For example:
Frontierland, I like Tom Sawyer Island
Liberty Square, Hall of Presidents
Avoid Fantasyland like the plague....or go during the fireworks
Tomorrowland, the Carousel of Progress (if he can tolerate whizzing through the scenes)

Epcot
If the line's short, Spaceship Earth
The Living Seas Aquarium
The American Adventure or any of the other shows in World Showcase

I don't handle large crowds well, so I always have a running list of places I can hide from them in....and really MK is the WORST as far as crowds in my opinion. Although I haven't been to Animal Kingdom yet since Pandora opened.

 

[kwdw]

Since you are offsite - you need to think about transportation. Will you have more than one car? Can he leave the park and head back to the resort - and others leave later? To be honest - this is an argument for staying at a Disney resort - because he would be able to escape and take the bus back to the resort without disrupting the experiences of others in the park.

Also - make sure he takes the time to read the maps and understands the layout of the parks before he ever steps into one. That will orient him. Trust me - I hate crowds - and having been there enough times now - I know where the quiet spots/less crowded routes are.

If fireworks aren't problem - you might want to consider the Dessert Party on Tomorrowland Terrance if you want to see the fireworks at MK. Getting out of the fireworks crowd is a nightmare for EVERYONE - and that really gives you space.

You also ask him about going "bag free." Standing there watching the security guards "search people's bags" - especially when he will really know how much they could be missing - might trigger anxiety. I know for me - standing there waiting for bags to be searched just makes me think about all the ways people could smuggle dangerous items into the park.

 

[Mom loves Disney]

My brother went with us one year at Christmas who is a vet. We never thought about the fireworks at night going off. I felt horrible when we were at the back of the magic kingdom and they started. My poor brother nearly hit the ground. I will never forget the look on his face and his children's faces seeing their dad so upset. We tried the best we could to get out the least crowded way possible due to him being upset.

Another thing he would constantly do is look over his shoulder in the large crowds. The crowds at Epcot at night were too much for him. He felt he had no control there. We ended up hanging at the pool at the WL after these two incidents.

I feel for anyone with PTSD. My brother and his team were blown up by an IED in Iraq and my brother was the only one that survived.

 

[FortForever]

My brother went with us one year at Christmas who is a vet. We never thought about the fireworks at night going off. I felt horrible when we were at the back of the magic kingdom and they started. My poor brother nearly hit the ground. I will never forget the look on his face and his children's faces seeing their dad so upset. We tried the best we could to get out the least crowded way possible due to him being upset.

This is so heartbreaking. Please thank him for his service.

I would gladly wait in line while all combat veterans were given front of the line passes for their families. It's really the least we can do, and Disney should consider it.

 

[siestakeys04]

Gosh you guys reality is just....I can’t even put in to words. I am very thankful for their service and my heart goes out to them having to deal with this daily. You are awesome sisters and I truly hope and pray for a great trip.

 

[Betsy82]

This is so heartbreaking. Please thank him for his service.

I would gladly wait in line while all combat veterans were given front of the line passes for their families. It's really the least we can do, and Disney should consider it.

Vets with PTSD get a DAS, no questions. Our last trip we stopped to buy Memory Maker (my husband is 100% disabled from his service so we are eligible for military discounts) and the CM asked if we’d like to go ahead and get his DAS taken care of too.
We hadn’t been to WDW for a few years but he’s had a DAS (or GAC) since we started coming years ago, plus a few trips to Disneyland. I’m not sure if it’s noted in his file, the CM was just offering one up or if the CM noticed the way my DH scans crowds, looks over his shoulder and stands with his back tilted towards the building so as to not be totally caught off guard by anyone behind him. No matter why, it was very nice as the first few trips my husband had difficulty “asking for help” so to have it freely offered was a positive experience.

Responding to OP..
I have had to adjust my park touring so we all have a great day, together. We take a LOT of breaks. We know the quieter areas and will often just sit and break and let him decompress if needed. I, having been married to him for quite some time, can tell when it’s getting to be too much. There are things he does with his hands, twitches in the muscles in his face and neck... I know when it’s time to head back to the pool. Our kids have always dealt with it so it’s not an issue for them, it’s normal. We don’t do the fireworks as those are a trigger for my husband. We’ve watched from Poly Beach and back in the day when Wishes had a FP, we did that and were able to enjoy them together because he wasn’t squished into the masses, was able to get the lay of the land before we entered the area and we got to enter early so he got acclimated and had time to prepare himself without the stress of more and more people closing in. We wait forever for a bus too to ensure he gets the seat right by the door

That is something I wholeheartedly wish Disney did. A special place for Veterans to watch fireworks that didn’t involve forking over hundreds of dollars for a dessert party (we don’t eat many sweets). We’ll never see Happily Ever After because I have the stance that we all stay in the park or we all go.

Can you maybe show him maps so he can get a bit of an idea about the layout of things before he gets there? Would that maybe help him be more comfortable?

 

[unrequited23]

Also - make sure he takes the time to read the maps and understands the layout of the parks before he ever steps into one. That will orient him. Trust me - I hate crowds - and having been there enough times now - I know where the quiet spots/less crowded routes are.

This. Plus let him see the awesome maps by Robo that show multiple ways to get to the same destination. In MK, I would not RD Fantasyland. I would start with Adventureland or Frontierland--it will be way less congested. I would also consider using the train for transportation if possible. It's slower but there are less people. I think the suggestion for considering TS meals is a good one. To me, The Plaza in MK was a peaceful oasis with pretty good not terribly over priced food. YouTube videos may also be helpful to view.

 

[Nancyg56]

This. Plus let him see the awesome maps by Robo that show multiple ways to get to the same destination. In MK, I would not RD Fantasyland. I would start with Adventureland or Frontierland--it will be way less congested. I would also consider using the train for transportation if possible. It's slower but there are less people. I think the suggestion for considering TS meals is a good one. To me, The Plaza in MK was a peaceful oasis with pretty good not terribly over priced food. YouTube videos may also be helpful to view.

I had forgotten the train. We used to use it just to give my DGD a break. She had anxiety at a young age so if things got to be too much we would hop on the train. She woudl lean back and often would doze off. it is cool, quiet and with the exception of very busy times, very peaceful.

 

[marcyleecorgan]

Unfortunately, every vacation option causes him to start spiraling because it’s all about risk analysis (his words). He wants us to be able to go to Disney because his wife went every year with her family and it’s important to her, so he’s trying to figure out ways for it to work, but obviously it’s just something we need to take into account and since I’ve only been once I’m not sure what all the options are for making it work for him.

Augh how frustrating. He's just gonna have to trust Disney to do what they do to keep tens of thousands of people safe each and every day.
If he can't relax and trust them, then he truly needs to work on therapies for his PTSD and find that inner peace because Disney wouldn't be any kind of vacation, it would be a new form of emotional distress!

I agree, memorize all the maps, get the DAS, do not try to Commando Tour...

 

[FortForever]

Vets with PTSD get a DAS, no questions. Our last trip we stopped to buy Memory Maker (my husband is 100% disabled from his service so we are eligible for military discounts) and the CM asked if we’d like to go ahead and get his DAS taken care of too.

That is awesome that they offered it without being asked, and makes me very happy. Even so, DAS still requires the waiting and I just don't think combat veterans should have to wait at all. They should literally get front of the line passes to let them spend lesser amount of times in the parks and on high stress alert. Even as the mother of two disabled adults, I feel combat veterans should come first.

People who volunteer their lives to keep us all free, and become disabled as a result of it, should be shown the highest level of respect and accommodations. Thank you to everyone on this thread who has served.

 

[DBK0714]

Vets with PTSD get a DAS, no questions. Our last trip we stopped to buy Memory Maker (my husband is 100% disabled from his service so we are eligible for military discounts) and the CM asked if we’d like to go ahead and get his DAS taken care of too.
We hadn’t been to WDW for a few years but he’s had a DAS (or GAC) since we started coming years ago, plus a few trips to Disneyland. I’m not sure if it’s noted in his file, the CM was just offering one up or if the CM noticed the way my DH scans crowds, looks over his shoulder and stands with his back tilted towards the building so as to not be totally caught off guard by anyone behind him. No matter why, it was very nice as the first few trips my husband had difficulty “asking for help” so to have it freely offered was a positive experience.

Responding to OP..
I have had to adjust my park touring so we all have a great day, together. We take a LOT of breaks. We know the quieter areas and will often just sit and break and let him decompress if needed. I, having been married to him for quite some time, can tell when it’s getting to be too much. There are things he does with his hands, twitches in the muscles in his face and neck... I know when it’s time to head back to the pool. Our kids have always dealt with it so it’s not an issue for them, it’s normal. We don’t do the fireworks as those are a trigger for my husband. We’ve watched from Poly Beach and back in the day when Wishes had a FP, we did that and were able to enjoy them together because he wasn’t squished into the masses, was able to get the lay of the land before we entered the area and we got to enter early so he got acclimated and had time to prepare himself without the stress of more and more people closing in. We wait forever for a bus too to ensure he gets the seat right by the door

That is something I wholeheartedly wish Disney did. A special place for Veterans to watch fireworks that didn’t involve forking over hundreds of dollars for a dessert party (we don’t eat many sweets). We’ll never see Happily Ever After because I have the stance that we all stay in the park or we all go.

Can you maybe show him maps so he can get a bit of an idea about the layout of things before he gets there? Would that maybe help him be more comfortable?

Good evening Betsy,

I did have a question for you. Thank you for your sacrifices as well as your husbands service. I myself am also a disabled veteran (70%) (PTSD, Anxiety, Spine, & radiculopathy). I have heard that I will have a hard time getting a DAS, and to be honest I am a bit concerned. This trip is mostly for my children and I myself will participate in some of these rides but I dont do well in crowds, which at times can cause panic attacks among other issues that I am sure you are familiar with. With that I my mobility issues wont be qualifying from what I am reading and in all honesty I am not so concerned with those even though I cant sit/stand for more than 25 minutes or so with out needing to switch, my bigger concern is dealing with crowds in larger events I need to go somewhere else at times to get away from people and just walk or sit away from other people, I need that freedom,I can no longer deal or handle with feeling trapped and that is just one of the thing lines do to me. I am going to do my best for my children as they deserve it but I can see I share some issues with your husband as well. Would you have any advice at all if they dont provide an DAS card, I was going to bring my VA paperwork but someone said they wont even look at it and im not the best at explaining things and honestly I dont really like to. Typing it in on a blog is one thing but repeating the issues in person is embarrassing.

Thanks again.

 

[powellrj]

They won’t look at your VA paperwork, but you can type out what you want to say and use that when you talk to them if it helps you to say what you need to say. If you need to get away for awhile, go to first aid and it’s a quiet place you can get away and regroup your thoughts. If you think it may help, see about an ECV or a rollator. If for no other reason than you will always have a place to sit.

Good luck and have a great trip!

 

[DBK0714]

Thanks for the advice, I will be sure to look into what ever I can.