Wedding RSVP’s

As I get ready to enter this "adventure" I appreciate all the info and perspectives. Fortunately DD and I are on the same exact page. Do we anticipate bumps, yup! From multiple sources. We already know what most will be and have our suits of armor on for those ... but always good to hear others stories so I can note some issues others dealt with, maybe prevent them.
 
As I get ready to enter this "adventure" I appreciate all the info and perspectives. Fortunately DD and I are on the same exact page. Do we anticipate bumps, yup! From multiple sources. We already know what most will be and have our suits of armor on for those ... but always good to hear others stories so I can note some issues others dealt with, maybe prevent them.




My best tips...watch the guest list. DD and I would have preferred smaller but the groom’s parents are splitting the wedding cost with us so... it’s a good thing they are getting married in the large city that they now live in. If 150 are willing to travel 3+ hours and book a hotel, the total would have likely been higher had it been local for us and the majority of guests.

Wedding cakes are expensive. DD is just having a simple tiered cake with white icing. No decoration done by the bakery. The florist is doing that. The cost was $900. I was stunned.

The other thing that was way more than I anticipated was her dress alterations- over $900. So budget for that. Hers could have been less if her dress were simpler but...

Those were the two things that took me by surprise. I was prepared for the cost of pretty much everything else.
 
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Our wedding planner strongly suggested it as she said the majority of the complaints at a reception are due to people not being able to find seats with the people they came with. As it turned out thee venue DD went with required it for the same reason. “People get upset if they can’t find seats with friends.”



Every venue we looked at required it if alcohol was being served. We also had to take out a day of event insurance policy.
LOL I live in WI and have never heard of a venue requiring security if they served alcohol. Every venue here serves alcohol. :rotfl:
 


LOL I live in WI and have never heard of a venue requiring security if they served alcohol. Every venue here serves alcohol. :rotfl:
We live in the rowdy west. Every venue serves alcohol but every one requires security if you do.
I’ve been to two weddings in the past year that did not and the venues would have allowed it but no alcohol meant a more budget friendly wedding for them.
 
LOL I live in WI and have never heard of a venue requiring security if they served alcohol. Every venue here serves alcohol. :rotfl:

Here most require if something like more than approx 100 people. If you then have say 250 people you'll need two. I think some of the more inclusive venues just build it in to the price of the wedding so they handle it. I always laughed it's in case of a Hatfield and McCoy situation but am sure it's about making sure no one gets too drunk and then tries to drive.
 
Here most require if something like more than approx 100 people. If you then have say 250 people you'll need two. I think some of the more inclusive venues just build it in to the price of the wedding so they handle it. I always laughed it's in case of a Hatfield and McCoy situation but am sure it's about making sure no one gets too drunk and then tries to drive.
The last wedding I went to a couple weeks ago was at a winery. I was privy to all the details, being it was a neighbor's daughter. There was no security and honestly, it is bizarre to me that places would require it. Again, I recognize that being where I live colors my view on it.
 


My nephew is getting married and the invite was more of a postcard affair, I tried to rsvp on line like they wanted but when I went to the web site it said our names weren't there. Couldn't find us. E-mailed my sister and told her not to expect us, can't make the trip cross country, Told her the link wasn't working.
 
LOL I live in WI and have never heard of a venue requiring security if they served alcohol. Every venue here serves alcohol. :rotfl:

Every venue here can serve alcohol too. Its up to the bride and groom if they do. It ranged from the venue providing the bar tender and all alcohol (at a premium price of course) to you have to provide your own bartender to you provide your alcohol and bartender. We did the last one. It cost less and a friend of sil's sister offered to tend bar for just tips.

And ALL of these require security unless the bride and groom choose not to serve it at all. Alcohol is an expensive part of a wedding. Some really do choose not to serve it so they can spend money on other things.
 
Here most require if something like more than approx 100 people. If you then have say 250 people you'll need two. I think some of the more inclusive venues just build it in to the price of the wedding so they handle it. I always laughed it's in case of a Hatfield and McCoy situation but am sure it's about making sure no one gets too drunk and then tries to drive.

It is also supposed to curb underage drinking.

And, for those around here, there were several that just added it to the price of the venue so if one didn't look closely, they wouldn't know they were paying for it.

One venue we looked at is located in a "dry" county. But the venue has a "resort" license so are able to serve alcohol. In order to do this, it has to be their bar, their bartender and they have to choose security (which is county deputies just like every where else). It was several thousand dollars more than the other places we looked at.
 
My best tips...watch the guest list. DD and I would have preferred smaller but the groom’s parents are splitting the wedding cost with us so... it’s a good thing they are getting married in the large city that they now live in. If 150 are willing to travel 3+ hours and book a hotel, the total would have likely been higher had it been local for us and the majority of guests.

Wedding cakes are expensive. DD is just having a simple tiered cake with white icing. No decoration done by the bakery. The florist is doing that. The cost was $900. I was stunned.

The other thing that was way more than I anticipated was her dress alterations- over $900. So budget for that. Hers could have been less if her dress were simpler but...

Those were the two things that took me by surprise. I was prepared for the cost of pretty much everything else.

We were so blessed when it came to DD's cakes and her dress.

There is a local girl who is just getting started in the cake baking business. She does a fabulous job and we order her cakes for everything anyway. She did dd's brides cake, grooms cake and set up for less than $300. I was stunned! DD's cake was mostly cupcakes with just two layers of actual cake. It was off white frosting with flowers in dd's colors and the groom's cake was a wrestling ring. She did a great job! The cakes were delicious. and apparently well liked because they were definitely eaten. The only thing she asked was that we help get her name out. I gave her business card to everyone I knew that would be planning a wedding. And the venue owners put pictures of the cakes and her card in all their brochures.

So, if one can find someone like that who is talented but just hasn't gotten off the ground yet in business, they may be a great source for a great cake at a cheaper price.

DD's dress-Our location probably helped a lot with that. She found the dress that she fell in love with at a local formal shop. It wasn't actually a wedding dress, it was a Mardi Gras gown in white. Gorgeous gown. The dress and her tiara (she didn't wear a veil) were less than every other dress we saw and dd was over the moon! And because it wasn't a wedding dress, alteration were included!!
 
Every venue here can serve alcohol too. Its up to the bride and groom if they do. It ranged from the venue providing the bar tender and all alcohol (at a premium price of course) to you have to provide your own bartender to you provide your alcohol and bartender. We did the last one. It cost less and a friend of sil's sister offered to tend bar for just tips.

And ALL of these require security unless the bride and groom choose not to serve it at all. Alcohol is an expensive part of a wedding. Some really do choose not to serve it so they can spend money on other things.

My state requires a licensed bartender but we visited several venues that would let you provide your own alcohol. We chose the inclusive venue that handles the catering, bar,bartenders.
 
The venue required it. If the event serves alcohol they require security onsite.

All of the venues here require security and either its included in the cost of the venue or its something you have to get on your own.

That's Louisiana state law; has been for decades. I remember having to hire a guard for our prom for the same reason (yes, back in the dark ages before the drinking age was raised.)
It may not be the case elsewhere, but if you serve alcohol at a licensed venue in Louisiana, there will always be some kind of security on-site.
 
My state requires a licensed bartender but we visited several venues that would let you provide your own alcohol. We chose the inclusive venue that handles the catering, bar,bartenders.

Some of the venues required a licensed bartender and some did not, just someone to be responsible more or less. The girl we used is a licensed bartender but I honestly am not sure the venue required her to be. They were sticklers about the security though. It had to be from the sheriff's office. SIL was a deputy at the time and was just going to get a couple of the other deputies to do it and pay them cash plus the groom and three groomsmen were deputies. NOPE. They had to be hired through the sheriff's office. And they actually checked with the office to make sure they had been contacted a few days before the wedding (they do this for every event). My guess would be that something had happened at their venue in the past to make them nervous about all of it.

The only places around here that included the catering were way too small for our guest list. And waaayy too expensive. Plus one let you know right quick that we or our florist could bring in the centerpieces and other decorations but SHE would be deciding how it was placed on the tables and if all of it would be used. DD told her thank you but no. (we used a lot of little items on the tables and dd wanted it done a certain way for the theme of the wedding)

Another place that I really liked just bent over backwards to accommodate. When she found out that there were several pro wrestlers in the wedding party, she wanted to put up a wrestling ring! I was very glad sil didn't go with us to that one! But they were willing to do whatever you wanted to make it the bride's perfect day. They were just so far away--an hour from us and two hours from dd and sil. We just didn't feel right picking a place that far away and serving alcohol and expecting everyone to get home safely late at night.
 
That's Louisiana state law; has been for decades. I remember having to hire a guard for our prom for the same reason (yes, back in the dark ages before the drinking age was raised.)
It may not be the case elsewhere, but if you serve alcohol at a licensed venue in Louisiana, there will always be some kind of security on-site.

You know, that may be it here. It may be state law. Just some go ahead and include it in the price, which would make a lot of sense honestly.
 
You know, that may be it here. It may be state law. Just some go ahead and include it in the price, which would make a lot of sense honestly.

Lots of venues in the South parse out any liquor-related security cost so that the Baptists & COC customers won't argue about having to unfairly pay it.

Members of my family have been involved with the wedding industry in S. Louisiana for a few decades now.; it's a somewhat unusual market, one that is divided right down the middle by religion, especially in the New Orleans area. Hospitality in general is culturally a Very Big Thing in the state, and weddings are a huge reflection of that. However, a family's religion is likely to strongly influence their celebratory style, which may not allow alcohol or dancing. Interestingly, the market has never really sorted itself into venues that exclusively serve certain faiths, so venues tend to be a bit more flexible in terms of opting out of certain things and allowing outside providers for specialty items. (Bringing in the wedding cake, for instance, is VERY common. Right offhand, I can think of probably 10 ladies I know of who "do cakes" out of their homes.)
 
... Every venue we looked at required it if alcohol was being served. We also had to take out a day of event insurance policy.
Many venues require security when alcohol is served even if it is not required by the city, county, or state. It's an insurance issue.
There are also weddings where the food is served buffet style or where everyone is served the same thing, so this wouldn't apply in those cases. But it would be interesting to see if people are more inclined to respond if it requires a meal selection.
No, they're not more inclined to respond if there is a meal selection. You'd think otherwise. I swear one day I'm making myself a t-shirt that says: "I can't read your mind today. Due to sunspots, all ESP servers are down."
 
There was barely enough food The cake was the smallest one I’ve ever seen without cupcakes or backup cake. I was very disappointed. I wondered how many who didn’t RSVP got cake. Lol

No assigned tables. Everyone just sat wherever they wanted.
That sounds like extremely poor planning. I've never been to a wedding where everyone ate a piece of cake. If the cake was big enough for all their expected guests to have a generous size piece, there should have been extra for those who showed up unexpected.
 

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