What do you regret not saying?

PollyannaMom

I was a click-clack champ!!
Joined
May 16, 2006
So, there's a thread going on about the CB being slow and "fluffy". In the interest of more serious fluff, I have pulled out The Book of Questions:

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#3 Says: If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?
 
I :lovestruc LOVE this idea and in fairness, those of us who have complained about the sorry state of the boards ought to jump right in here!

Unfortunately, after pondering a minute, I really don’t have an answer to this question. I’m at peace with literally everyone in my life who matters and I know that makes me really lucky. I’ve also always been the type who far more often ends up regretting saying too much, rather than too little. :blush:
 
So, there's a thread going on about the CB being slow and "fluffy". In the interest of more serious fluff, I have pulled out The Book of Questions:

562083.jpg


#3 Says: If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?

I enjoy the term "serious fluff." Maybe we will see more questions from this book...

I also do not really have an answer to the question with my initial reaction. For the most part, I don't really hold back when it comes to telling people how much I care for them. Things that I haven't said usually fall under the category of keeping the peace, or something that I've considered the pros and cons of verbalizing it and don't think it's worth saying, and in which case I try to let it go. That's my initial thought, anyway...
 
There are a lot of things over the course of my life that I wish I had said or spoken up about. But, it seems since I hit 50, my mouth has gotten a lot bigger and I say what I want to say.
I guess maybe I would tell my brother how much it hurt me that he and his family took my ex’s side during a terrible divorce where my ex said and did heinous things to me and that their continued friendship with him was more important than me or my feelings. But if I were on my deathbed I don’t think I’d take time for somebody that doesn’t really deserve my precious time.
 


There are a lot of things over the course of my life that I wish I had said or spoken up about. But, it seems since I hit 50, my mouth has gotten a lot bigger and I say what I want to say.
I guess maybe I would tell my brother how much it hurt me that he and his family took my ex’s side during a terrible divorce where my ex said and did heinous things to me and that their continued friendship with him was more important than me or my feelings. But if I were on my deathbed I don’t think I’d take time for somebody that doesn’t really deserve my precious time.
Tough situation and I've been through something practically identical. It was so many years ago though, and my sibling has since come to see the complete error in how they handled those early days. (In her defense, neither she or anyone else knew the full depth of how truly horrible it was for me; I kept a lot of it to myself.) She's never exactly apologized nor have I ever pressed for it, but it's definitely understood between us and we are all good. :flower3:

Interestingly, my DH's sister did the exact same thing to him when his first wife cheated and abandoned him. I suspect the experience is pretty common. What's with that?
 
I live by the motto that I end every conversation with those that I love by telling them that I love them. I'd never want my last words to someone be something else. I honestly can't think of anything I would regret not saying. I'm pretty big on communication and resolving issues and feelings. I think the people in my life know where we stand.
 


Everyone I love knows it through actions and I hope, deeds; but lord almighty, I've bit my tongue at my ex, his family, and my DH's ex. I try to be decent though and let other people show their butts. Behind closed doors I do some ranting but I don't have to stoop to other's crap levels.
 
Everyone I love knows it through actions and I hope, deeds; but lord almighty, I've bit my tongue at my ex, his family, and my DH's ex. I try to be decent though and let other people show their butts. Behind closed doors I do some ranting but I don't have to stoop to other's crap levels.
This is exactly what I am going thru now. I can noy understand how unfeeling, mean and all around disgusting people can be.
 
There was someone I cared about who I knew was gay, but they lived in the closet and I never said, "hey it's okay and I love you" to them for fear of scaring or hurting them with my knowledge. After they died, it all came out (no pun intended, honestly) but I didn't feel better for being right.
 
I wish I’d had the chance to tell my MIL how much I appreciated her friendship and the way she respected our decisions as parents. We had our differences and at times she was a straight up pain in my butt, but overall we had a pretty decent relationship. I knew she did not have much time left and had told my girlfriend I was going to go over and tell her the next day. She passed that night. With the exception of my older DD she was not a demonstrative person though (the one and only time I hugged her she went stiff as a board) and I have a feeling she would have hushed me anyway. At least she knew I thought she was a really wonderful grandma despite initially NOT wanting to be one.
 
I regret not telling my parents I'm gay. I'm almost certain they knew but it remained unspoken at their deaths. I just feel if I had told them they would have known better who the real me is, although I realize one isn't defined by one's sexuality. I wish they had known my partner of 26 years was more than just " my good friend".
 
I regret not telling my parents I'm gay. I'm almost certain they knew but it remained unspoken at their deaths. I just feel if I had told them they would have known better who the real me is, although I realize one isn't defined by one's sexuality. I wish they had known my partner of 26 years was more than just " my good friend".

That’s a tough one; I’m sorry. :hug:

I would be willing to bet they knew the real you and were just content to let you be you without any formal declarations.
 
I didn’t have a relationship with my biological father, but when I turned 40, I started wondering about his health history and why he never tried to find me as he got older. I decided to google him to see if I could track him down and the first thing I found was his obituary. He had died three months earlier. So, I guess I regret not finding him and asking the questions.
 
I didn’t have a relationship with my biological father, but when I turned 40, I started wondering about his health history and why he never tried to find me as he got older. I decided to google him to see if I could track him down and the first thing I found was his obituary. He had died three months earlier. So, I guess I regret not finding him and asking the questions.

:hug: (A "thank you for responding" like wasn't enough.)
 

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