What do you regret not saying?

This makes me think of a sad thing that happened to my friend. She was out shopping and got a text from her mom saying "I love you, how is your day going?" and she decided she didn't want to take the time to get into texting with her mom so she sort of pretended not to see it and to keep shopping. When she got home later she texted her mom "I love you too mom", but she found out later her mom had died in a car accident approximately just 15 minutes before that. She said it will haunt her for the rest of her life why her she didn't just text back right away, so that her mom could have at least seen those words from her. I always remember that when someone I care about texts me at a busy moment. Never take time for granted.
 
I regret not telling my parents I'm gay. I'm almost certain they knew but it remained unspoken at their deaths. I just feel if I had told them they would have known better who the real me is, although I realize one isn't defined by one's sexuality. I wish they had known my partner of 26 years was more than just " my good friend".

That’s a tough one; I’m sorry. :hug:

I would be willing to bet they knew the real you and were just content to let you be you without any formal declarations.
So well put! @L&Lfan - I agree completely with @Neesy228 . Their parental love for you was for YOU, the son they cherished and knew intimately, even if not every aspect of your life was submitted for their approval. It may well have been that they chose to avoid forcing you into disclosure to avoid a conflict that they feared might cause you to reject them. My guess would be that "compromises" were made on both sides in the interest of love and I know we would face a similar situation if we were talking about our own son. :flower3: Grace and peace to you.
 
This makes me think of a sad thing that happened to my friend. She weas out shopping and got a text from her mom saying "I love you, how is your day going?" and she decided she didn't want to take the time to get into texting with her mom so she sort of pretended not to see it and to keep shopping. When she got home later she texted her mom "I love you too mom", but she found out later her mom had died in a car accident approximately just 15 minutes before that. She said it will haunt her for the rest of her life why her she didn't just text back right away, so that her mom could have at least seen those words from her. I always remember that when someone I care about texts me at a busy moment. Never take time for granted.

Oh that is SO sad! What a terrible burden for your friend to carry. You are right - never take time for granted.


I don't regret anything left unsaid. I tell the people that I love and that are important to me what I need to say. Maybe too much sometimes!

Side note - I handle all of our personal finances and household "stuff". DH & I meet every few months so I can update him on things but he doesn't really have an interest in it. Several years ago I made binders with all the information he or DD (21) would need in case something happened to me. I have a binder for Life Insurance, Money/Investments, House, Car, etc. I even have one with all the paperwork and medical records for our dog! My DD refers to them as my "Death Binders". :littleangel: But I feel better knowing that the information is there for them.
 
I think what I would regret the most would be not being able to tell my kids I love them one last time. But I don't feel like that is the spirit of the question. I think I would regret not being able to talk my kids through having to live with their dad, because if I die that's where they will end up, and it's a fear that I think about a lot, but I have never mentioned it to my kids. We've already had over a year of no contact, if their dad keeps it up I will be able to file to have his parental rights stripped in about 10 months. Then I can legally decide who will raise my kids if I pass.
 


...Side note - I handle all of our personal finances and household "stuff". DH & I meet every few months so I can update him on things but he doesn't really have an interest in it. Several years ago I made binders with all the information he or DD (21) would need in case something happened to me. I have a binder for Life Insurance, Money/Investments, House, Car, etc. I even have one with all the paperwork and medical records for our dog! My DD refers to them as my "Death Binders". :littleangel: But I feel better knowing that the information is there for them.
This is actually a GREAT idea and a good tip. Although this thread has trended towards more emotional things, it's prudent to think about the practical too. DH and I are just taking the first baby-steps at overhauling the "business end" of our lives and I sure hope he survives until we're done! :teeth: Not sure I even know our netflix password much less how many different places the RRSP money is invested. :o
 
Oh that is SO sad! What a terrible burden for your friend to carry. You are right - never take time for granted.


I don't regret anything left unsaid. I tell the people that I love and that are important to me what I need to say. Maybe too much sometimes!

Side note - I handle all of our personal finances and household "stuff". DH & I meet every few months so I can update him on things but he doesn't really have an interest in it. Several years ago I made binders with all the information he or DD (21) would need in case something happened to me. I have a binder for Life Insurance, Money/Investments, House, Car, etc. I even have one with all the paperwork and medical records for our dog! My DD refers to them as my "Death Binders". :littleangel: But I feel better knowing that the information is there for them.

Interesting, my mom does the same thing (except she sorted everything in shoeboxes). They are now referred to as the Shoeboxes of Death lol. It IS a good idea though.
 
This is actually a GREAT idea and a good tip. Although this thread has trended towards more emotional things, it's prudent to think about the practical too. DH and I are just taking the first baby-steps at overhauling the "business end" of our lives and I sure hope he survives until we're done! :teeth: Not sure I even know our netflix password much less how many different places the RRSP money is invested. :o

Interesting, my mom does the same thing (except she sorted everything in shoeboxes). They are now referred to as the Shoeboxes of Death lol. It IS a good idea though.

It feels good to have it done! I love to organize so it was a fun project for me. Going to the office supply store and picking out different colored binders was awesome. I enjoy shopping for office supplies the way some women enjoy shopping for shoes! :laughing:

I told my MIL about my binders so she made us one with all of her stuff. My parents and my FIL have all passed away so she's the only grandparent left.

And another side note --- PLEASE review your life insurance and make sure you have sufficient coverage. My dad passed away when he was only 48. My mom - a SAHM - was left with 4 kids (17, 16, 14, and 6) to raise by herself. I never knew how much life insurance he had but he was well covered. He really did take care of us. My mom was able to pay off the house and pay for all 4 of us to go to college. She never had to go get a job but did run a daycare out of her house for extra money. I am so grateful that my parents understood the importance of life insurance. While dealing with his death was very hard emotionally we didn't have to deal with financial hardship and struggle.
 


I don't know that I have anything that I regret saying (now) because everything left unsaid has led me to where I am.

At the time I wish I had said more to the guy I was hanging out with about how I was feeling and what I wanted. I am not sure if it would have changed the outcome (it ended) so in the end it doesn't matter.
 
This makes me think of a sad thing that happened to my friend. She was out shopping and got a text from her mom saying "I love you, how is your day going?" and she decided she didn't want to take the time to get into texting with her mom so she sort of pretended not to see it and to keep shopping. When she got home later she texted her mom "I love you too mom", but she found out later her mom had died in a car accident approximately just 15 minutes before that. She said it will haunt her for the rest of her life why her she didn't just text back right away, so that her mom could have at least seen those words from her. I always remember that when someone I care about texts me at a busy moment. Never take time for granted.

Oh my gosh. This just breaks my heart.
 

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