What would you say? Would you be upset?

I don't understand the "reimbursing OP" bit.

This was a donation. There was no deal made up front that OP was going to adopt the dog. It was just implied. If whoever took the dog to the vet said outright that somebody was already interested in adoption, this wouldn't have been a problem. But OP said she was interested into fostering with the assumption that OP would probably then adopt. But never said anything out loud to the person running the rescue.
 
It seems like lots of conversations happened between the three people, OP, Friend of OP, and vet, but not all three people actually spoke together. Lots of assumptions and hurt feelings. It really stinks, but at least the little fella has people that want him.
 
I don't understand the "reimbursing OP" bit.

This was a donation. There was no deal made up front that OP was going to adopt the dog. It was just implied. If whoever took the dog to the vet said outright that somebody was already interested in adoption, this wouldn't have been a problem. But OP said she was interested into fostering with the assumption that OP would probably then adopt. But never said anything out loud to the person running the rescue.
I don't think the OP saw it strictly as a donation, perse. She was planning to adopt the dog, and would've taken him home from the vet's if not for the pain patch (and concerns from rescue person about stairs and other dogs). She didn't pay the $1200 vet bill until quite a while after the surgery. Presumably the vet was also thinking about keeping him at that point, as well. I do think there was a communication breakdown. But I can also see why the OP feels a little bothered by it.
 
Speak to the vet, but if you don't get an offer for reimbursement of some kind, then let that option go. However, if you are being backed into the position of considering it a contribution, then get that in writing from whatever rescue organization this vet works with, that you donated $1200 for the medical care of this animal. At very least you should get a charitable deduction for it.
 


I suppose I wonder what you would have done if you brought the dog home and realized it wasn't going to be a good fit in your home (as you mentioned)? At that point, would you expect compensation for the surgery and other expenses? You sounded iffy as to whether or not you wanted to adopt the dog, so I don't necessarily know why you would be upset that someone did want to adopt him.

Would you feel differently if the person who was looking to adopt the dog was not the vet?
 
I'm having a hard time getting over this. I know my friend who does rescue knows I'm upset, and I understand that her number one priority is getting dogs into good loving homes. I know she pulled the dog under her rescue. BUT, he was pulled *for me* and with my financial backing. Although I didn't refuse to let the vet adopt the dog, I think it's common decency at the least for the vet to refund me the money I spent to fix HER DOG.

What do you all think?

I agree with you.
You had the dog pulled with the intention of fostering with possible adoption.
You paid for the surgery because as a foster you expected to be responsible for the dog's care.
I think your heart and your finances were taken of advantage of in this situation.
I would reach out to the vet, and maybe they will do the right thing and reimburse you.
 
I would sooooo be upset and insist that my money be refunded. That vet was so beyond doing the right thing 'without' needing prompting!
Your intentions were VERY clear.
 


I would sooooo be upset and insist that my money be refunded. That vet was so beyond doing the right thing 'without' needing prompting!
Your intentions were VERY clear.

But the problem is that it's not clear what was said to the vet. The OP's friend has been communicating with her about the dog. Presumably, all the vet knows is that this dog was a stray, was brought in for medical care, and needs a home. I don't see that the vet intentionally tried to get away with anything. Until a direct conversation takes place between the OP and the vet, it's hard to know exactly what she was knows or thinks about the situation. Does she even know the money came from a private individual (as opposed to rescue organization) who intended to foster and possibly adopt the dog? I would give the vet the benefit of the doubt until she's asked directly.
 
hmmm. you couldn't adopt the dog immediately because it has post-surgery needs. You would need an observation period to adopt the dog, because you already have 3 dogs. but you wanted to help THIS dog, and you offered to pay for his surgery. Since it was clear from the beginning that you were not able to immediately take him, but you wanted the right thing to be done, I would see you as a generous donor and benefactor.
 
Make it clear you went to the extent of spending such a large sum on the dog not only to help, but with the intention to adopt and make it clear that is the path you intend to pursue first.
 
I would say something. You spent the $1200 with the intention of this pup becoming your dog. As a responsible dog owner you knew going in that there was a possibility that you may not be able to keep it, but your initial intention with spending that kind of money was for it to be yours. I'd let the vet know that you intend to take the dog and if it doesn't work out you'll let them know. If there's pushback I'd ask for a refund.
 
hmmm. you couldn't adopt the dog immediately because it has post-surgery needs. You would need an observation period to adopt the dog, because you already have 3 dogs. but you wanted to help THIS dog, and you offered to pay for his surgery. Since it was clear from the beginning that you were not able to immediately take him, but you wanted the right thing to be done, I would see you as a generous donor and benefactor.

Not correct. I couldn't commit to adopting the dog until I knew he would get along with my dogs. I wouldn't have known that until I had him home. I *never* asked for anyone to do anything for this dog except pull him because I was out of the country and made it clear that I would take him as soon as I got home. I never asked my friend to incorporate him into the rescue. I would have leaned on her had he not worked out at my house, but I had all intent to foster him and 100% fund him. My friend offered to pull him under her rescue. I should have gone with my gut and declined that offer as it gave away all of my power in the situation. When he was posted on FB, I offered to take him and pay all of his vetting and foster him - until I knew how he'd do here. If he didn't get along with my dogs I would have adopted him out and would have had no problem paying his vetting to save him. BTW, I had no real concern on keeping him at the house pre or post op as I'm an ER nurse and could have easily handled his medical needs. I was just following along as the vet said it was "best for him".
 
And yes, the vet's office knew his payment was coming from a private individual instead of through the rescue. I paid them with my CC after visiting him post op. I spent a good hour on the floor in the office talking to him and petting him and I visited him alone. (Not with my friend that has the rescue).
 
I texted a friend of mine who runs a rescue. I asked her if she could pull him and said I would foster him (in my head it was potentially adopt also) and pay all of his medical including surgery to fix his leg. I offered to pick him up from her as soon as we returned- which would be in a few days.

So you didn't explicitly tell your friend that you wanted to adopt the dog.

Not correct. I couldn't commit to adopting the dog until I knew he would get along with my dogs. I wouldn't have known that until I had him home. I *never* asked for anyone to do anything for this dog except pull him because I was out of the country and made it clear that I would take him as soon as I got home.

But you didn't make it clear as per your first sentence. It was "I couldn't commit". You promised to pay his medical bills, but didn't promise to adopt the dog. If you wanted first dibs, you should have spoken up when your friend said that the vet wanted to adopt the dog.

If I were the rescue person, I would be looking for the first person to commit to adopting the dog and that was the vet. I don't think you can complain that the dog was given to the vet when you never said that you wanted to adopt him/her. I do understand why you are upset though.
 
Yes, there was a lot of miscommunication here... and this should all have been nailed down, with specifics, in written texts...
IMHO, I would have never made the assumption that somebody was just making a donation.
I almost find that assumption to be laughable.
The OP did not send money to the rescue.
She paid specific expenses, for a very specific animal, with the intention of taking that animal home.

Don't some rescues make adoptions pending on a home trial to insure that the home is suitable for the animal. Isn't a trial period almost to be expected.

I almost wonder if all the hemming and hawing and 'waiting' was a ploy, and obstruction.
There is no way that vet should have even held back on letting this woman take this animal home.
There is no way they should have pushed to adopt an animal, or take an animal, who has a 'responsible party', waiting to take them home.

THAT might be the only real 'ethics violation', involving the Vet.

If holding the animal for a few extra days were necessary, that should have been an agreed upon expense.
Which would have continued to establish the OP as the owner/responsible party.

The OP's name should have been associated with the animal from the very beginning. The OP should not have been the one who paid with their personal credit card, if they were not a responsible party. And the person from the rescue does not seem to have done that.
XXXXXXXXX is the responsible party (not the rescue) and XXXXXX will pay for these estimated expenses.

OP... Why did the person who took the animal to the vet not list you as the responsible party.
This is where all of this started to go wrong.

The OP has learned some hard lessons here.
YES, what happened was not the right thing.
But, sadly, I don't think there is enough here to back up any official or legal recourse.

Anything involving this amount of money, or an animal that one might consider as their own and become attached to, should be specified, somehow, in writing.
 
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OP... Why did the person who took the animal to the vet not list you as the responsible party.
This is where all of this started to go wrong.

The OP has learned some hard lessons here.
YES, what happened was not the right thing.
But, sadly, I don't think there is enough here to back up any official or legal recourse.

Anything involving this amount of money, or an animal that one might consider as their own and become attached to, should be specified, somehow, in writing.

I can't answer that honestly. I wasn't home when he was taken to the vet. Her rescue uses this vet often for sick or injured dogs who come in so I'm sure there's an honor system to some extent, BUT, it was specified that I would be paying his entire bill and was given the amount prior to surgery.

When I first saw his photo online (again, I was in Mexico at the time) I offered to pay "any"vet to care for him until I got home. The shelter I got him from is a couple hours from where I live and since I was away, I didn't want him to sit in a shelter and suffer with a broken leg. I actually offered to call a vet and give them my CC number to begin care on him before I got home to the US. As it turned out, my friend saw me posting on his photo and knew someone who would transport him here. All of his vetting had been discussed prior to my return home although the cost was given to me prior to surgery by my friend.
 
So you didn't explicitly tell your friend that you wanted to adopt the dog.



But you didn't make it clear as per your first sentence. It was "I couldn't commit". You promised to pay his medical bills, but didn't promise to adopt the dog. If you wanted first dibs, you should have spoken up when your friend said that the vet wanted to adopt the dog.

This is correct. But, no one besides me (or the vet) would have even known he existed prior to his healing. He would not have been up for adoption until fully recovered post op. So, that time was what I expected to have to decide if he would work at my house. No one should have even known about him.
 
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You are correct in your feelings and your take on this, Birdie.
I absolutely believe this.
What happened, with this amount of money being put on your credit card, with you not ultimately seeing any control or benefits..
This all seems very questionable to me. A lot of assumptions and manipulations here. A lot of vulnerability with you being out of the country.

I think this statement says a lot.
He would not have been up for adoption until fully recovered post op.

Even if this were a 'donation'.... Donations are very often made with very specific requests and criteria. I do not believe for one second that your intent was not very clear.

A lot of lessons learned here.

My heart breaks for you.

Everybody is a winner here, EXCEPT for you.
 
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When your friend asked if you wanted to adopt the dog, your answer should have been yes. You said you didn’t know yet, so it seemed he was available to adopt. It seems to me that he is your dog until you say otherwise, so go ahead and say no to the vet. You want to bring him home first, so do it and don’t feel bad. I don’t know how they think you would pay that much for a specific dog that you picked out and not have an intention to keep him! Speak up!
 
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If the dog is still at the vet recovering my response to the vet would be “I’d like to take the dog home and see how well he and my other dog get along. If there are any issues, I will call you and you can have him”. In that scenario I wouldn’t expect reimbursement because you would have had the chance to adopt the dog and it didn’t work out.

If your friend released the dog to the vet because she considered the dog to be part of her rescue/rehome business, then you have a bigger problem. I’d leave the friend out of it at this point and speak directly to the vet. Because realistically, you have no idea what your friend told the vet. Tell your story with the end result being that your intention was that you would pay for vet care because it was your intention to adopt the dog and the only way you wouldn’t have adopted/kept the dog is if it didn’t get along with your dog. So I’d ask the vet to either give me the dog or reimburse me the $ because otherwise, effectively what the vet did is allow someone else to pay them to care for their own dog, which I would imagine is an ethically “gray” area as far as veterinary medicine goes and if they have a state organization that oversees veterinary practice I might be contacting them.
 

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