Writing the Ceremony?

[2nd Time Bride]

I have been reading a lot of PJs lately and it seems like quite a few couples are writing their own ceremonies. Did most of you write your own or did anyone just let the officiant perform a "standard" ceremony? We are using Rev Tim Herring and, on his contract, indicated that we would like a mix of civil and religious. I guess we just thought he would use a standard ceremony of sorts but now I am wondering if he will expect something from us?

 

[lurkyloo]

I don't think he will expect anything from you—usually it's up to the couple to let their officiant know if they want something other than the standard ceremony. Those of us to chose to write our own vows or outline our ceremonies just had something more specific in mind.

 

[CityGirlLost]

I think it's that for a destination wedding, where you're hiring an officiant who you don't really know and who you'll likely never see again, writing your own ceremony injects a little more personal flavor than a "standard" ceremony might include.

I haven't gotten to that part in my planning yet, but there are certain things in traditional ceremonies that I find distasteful (the word 'obey' comes to mind. Is that still in some ceremonies?) and as a second time bride, I feel like there are aspects of basic ceremony wording that don't work for a re-marriage.

Just my $.02.

 

[2nd Time Bride]

I think it's that for a destination wedding, where you're hiring an officiant who you don't really know and who you'll likely never see again, writing your own ceremony injects a little more personal flavor than a "standard" ceremony might include.

I haven't gotten to that part in my planning yet, but there are certain things in traditional ceremonies that I find distasteful (the word 'obey' comes to mind. Is that still in some ceremonies?) and as a second time bride, I feel like there are aspects of basic ceremony wording that don't work for a re-marriage.

Just my $.02.

LOL - not sure if "obey" is still in Rev Tim's standard ceremony but, if it is, we might have a problem with my DF laughing hysterically at that line.

I know it may sound terrible but we really did not give it much thought until we went to a wedding recently and were appalled at some of the things that were said in the ceremony. Then I started poking around in PJs and noticed a lot of people writing their own ceremonies, not just vows. Now we are not sure what to do, good thing we still have a month...

 

[kmaclou]

We had Rev. Tim for ours and told him the exact same thing - a mix of civil and religious. We also met him when we went down for our planning session and he asked all sorts of questions about us - what we did, how we met, etc. I deferred to him to do the ceremony, vows, etc and it was perfect. The tone was suited to us, lots to laugh at, at my request a few prayers and scripture, but not too religious. Obey never came up...I think he knew I'd say I'd changed my mind if that came up.

If you don't have the chance to meet him face to face, maybe arrange a call with him and your DF. That way he gets your vibe and chemistry. :thumbsup

 

[Brit_Jude]

We had Rev. jack Day. When we contacted him we told him what we were looking for, he then sent us a package of some sample ceremonies. There was one we really liked so we used that one but I wrote our own words for our sand ceremony.

 

[Chilly]

I found writing the ceremony with my DH (then DF) when of the best parts of planning the wedding, it made it all feel very real.

We took bits of the different ceremony's Rev Knox sent us and put them together to suit us.

 

[neener3]

We also have Rev. Jack Day. He sent us a package of a few ceremonies, and said to feel free to use one, mix some, mix em all, delete stuff, or add new stuff in.

We (and by we I mean I, and DF looked it over and said "yup, looks good hun") combined a few and added a few things in, and then I emailed him the final copy and printed off a copy for myself - just in case...it'll be coming in my luggage with me!

 

[*Pixiedust1438*]

I am writing our own ceremony, pretty much word for word, with letting our officiant add some of his own words in. However, we are having DF's uncle get ordained and marry us, so he has never done a ceremony before. I might not if I was using someone who performs ceremonies regularly. But I do like the idea of writing it ourselves to make it more personal. PM me if you would like me to send you what I have so far, although it is deff. still a work in progress.