YES OR NO to: Unity Candle???

[Gabrielle0625]

Hey there....I'm new and looking for some help from all you Disney Brides.

Should I do the Unity candle or not?
I asked my mother and she was no help.
I am latino from Kentucky. (Weird I know)
Is it more an american thing or a latino thing or neither?
I have no idea what I should do???

Thanks
Gabrielle

12/16/05
Wedding Pavilion

 

[hmgolden]

I *think* its more a catholic thing than anything else, but maybe that's becuase the only weddings I have been to that have had it have been catholic weddings?

We had one, more to appease my mother with a bit of catholic tradition than anything else. I'm indifferent to it. I say if you want it as part of your ceremony you should have it. Otherwise there are many other options you may find suite your style more.

 

[WDWAurora]

Protestants have them too...Most weddings I've been to have had them, Catholic and Protestant, even non-denominational. It doesn't even have to have religious symbolism if you don't want it to.

That being said, regardless of where it comes from, if you like the tradition, use it. It is a very popular American tradition overall, so it would be appropriate no matter what. I've never been to anyone's wedding who was of Latino descent, so I'm not sure if it's used a lot in that part of your culture or not.

 

[Snow_White]

My fiance and I aren't religious, we just like the idea of a unity candle, so we're doing it! I think it is a nice sentiment, and the Mickey unity candles are so cute

 

[Mary626]

My fiance and I aren't religious, we just like the idea of a unity candle, so we're doing it! I think it is a nice sentiment, and the Mickey unity candles are so cute

Same here, It's all about the symbolism for me. And we're also getting the mickey unity candles!

 

[christineangel]

I agree with the other posters- it's a symbolism thing. If it means something to you then do it. Personally i just didn't feel it. Most weddings i've been to use them, but it just didn't strike me, so tradition or not I was not going to spend money or time looking at unity candles and arrangements for a tradition that didn't mean anything to me in particular. So it it strikes you as a meaningful thing to do then do it but if not, it's one less thing to deal with.

 

[ZippyDooDah]

This may sound silly, but if you DO decide to use them and have music in the background during that part of the ceremony, you might want to make it a very short song. I play piano for many weddings locally, and it always seems very awkward when the song is longer than it takes to "do your thing" at the unity candle. The bride and groom either stand there whispering or get nervous and giggle. When this happens it takes away from the moment and the meaning IMO...not to mention how awkward and embarrassing it becomes for the couple too. Just a tip.

 

[Tinkerbelle14]

My fiance and I are not religious at all and we were thinking about the Unity Candle or the Unity sand (see my other post). I really think it is more symbolic than anything.

 

[hiwaygal]

While Disney doesn't tell you "not" to use the Unity candle at outdoor locations, they do warn you that your candle(s) may blow out. What could be worse than having your unity candle blow somehow...

I know that doesn't necessarily apply to the OP (or anyone getting married at the Pavilion)...but just something to consider if your ceremony is anywhere outdoors. For an outdoors ceremony, I like the idea of the sand that someone else is doing.

For me, I didn't think the unity candle was that big a deal. I was more impressed with the "blessing of the hands" that we did. It meant more to me, and our ceremony was outdoors.

Bottom line, if the unity candle is something that YOU want, then do it! If it isn't a big deal to you, then don't!

 

[Vijoge]

I was more impressed with the "blessing of the hands" that we did. It meant more to me, and our ceremony was outdoors.

When my husband and I got married our officiant performed a "tying the knot" ceremony during which he actually tied our hands together with a cloth stole and then said a prayer/blessing over our hands. It was very moving.

We often joke with him that it works, too, because he has never performed a marriage for anyone who later divorced.

 

[Disney845]

I was not aware that it had any specific cultural connections, so like everyone else, I say you should do it if you want to. I, like a couple previous posters, won't feel inclined to have it be a part of my ceremony because it doesn't mean anything to me personally.

 

[Janet2k]

It was really interesting to read everyone's responses. Thank you for sharing, everyone.

My husband (Hispanic) and I (Caucasian) chose not to do it for our original wedding ceremony many moons ago (we're both Catholic but had a Justice of the Peace ceremony). For our Fairy Tale Weddings vow renewal last year, we also chose not to do it. For us, it didn't mean anything so there was no point in having it. Now if it would have meant something, we definitely would have used it.

Like the other posters have said, do it if you want to, but don't feel bad about not doing it if it has no significance to you or your future spouse.

Again, thanks, everyone, for sharing your opinions. I would have loved to have read something like this last year when I was planning my vow renewal. It's always nice to see how others feel about certain aspects of wedding/vow renewal ceremonies.

 

[Janet2k]

When my husband and I got married our officiant performed a "tying the knot" ceremony during which he actually tied our hands together with a cloth stole and then said a prayer/blessing over our hands. It was very moving.

We often joke with him that it works, too, because he has never performed a marriage for anyone who later divorced.

I may regret mentioning this, but when my husband and I first got married many years ago, I put a ball & chain around his ankle as soon as our Justice of the Peace ceremony had ended (we were still inside the chapel when I did this, ~gulp~).

It may not be as lovely as the hand-tying ceremony, but it definitely did the trick. We celebrated 21 years of marriage last night.

 

[twojo21]

the unity candle is traditionally associated with religion. catholics, protestants, lutherans, etc. have the unity candle as part of the wedding ceremony.

we are religious/spiritual & liked the symbolism of the unity candle, so yes we are doing that at our yc custom wedding.

 

[Rascal1003]

The unity candle is a very nice touch, although as quoted in this thread, I do think it is a predominantly Catholic thing.

Neither of us are religious so this was a definite symbolic gesture and also added a very nice fill-in for the intimate wedding. It was a lovely gesture for both the Mums to light the small candles. We felt very romantic taking a break in the proceedings to light our candle together.

I would say yes, it is a great thing to include and adds an additional feature within the ceremony that really helps bring the mood of the day to life.

Go for it !

Regards,
Russ.

PS - You can have the candles without the floral display which saves a large amount of expense that might not be considered all that necessary.

 

[olbear]

My hubby & I had the unity candle at our wedding. We loved it. Our mothers lit the tapers at the beginning. Then after our vows, we lit the unity candle and blew out the tapers. Thus signifying the two, becoming one. And breaking those perverbial "apron strings"..LOL!

We had the song, "Two Candles" sang during our lighting, but only 1 verse and chorus. So it was short sweet & to the point. We did not find it awkward at all.

Blessings,
Winnie

 

[Mickey76]

I hadn't given this much thought until it came up in conversation the other day with my fiancee. She said we're going to do it because she wants to. I of course said ok without argument. If she's happy, I'm happy.

 

[WDWAurora]

My hubby & I had the unity candle at our wedding. We loved it. Our mothers lit the tapers at the beginning. Then after our vows, we lit the unity candle and blew out the tapers. Thus signifying the two, becoming one. And breaking those perverbial "apron strings"..LOL!

We had the song, "Two Candles" sang during our lighting, but only 1 verse and chorus. So it was short sweet & to the point. We did not find it awkward at all.

Blessings,
Winnie

We actually didn't blow out the tapers. We were given the option, but we thought it symbolized that just because we joined a new family didn't mean our family of origin ceased to exist. I don't know, it made sense to us...Maybe if I get super motivated I'll post the text of what the pastor said about it. Our pastor got on my nerves a lot, but he did make us a really cool little book with the ceremony printed out in it.

 

[BelleMcNally]

My fiance and I are having a unity candle (we are Catholic). It has double meaning for me--my great-grandfather--I never met him--was a candle-maker, and we're going to use candles he made during our ceremony. I'm tearing up just thinking about it as I type this! I'm a big sucker for anything sentimental