Your opinion on my in-laws

[PrincessMommy2]

I'm just curious what other's opinion of this would be.....DH and I were planning another trip next fall because we have baby number 3 arriving at the end of July. We decided to take advantage of the Free Dining Package and are going October 1-8 instead with the baby and our other two DDs (4 & 2). My DH wanted to ask his parents to join us - our treat - so they could spend time with their grandchildren. He has two sisters with three children each and they both kind of monopolize his parents' time with babysitting for them. (that is a topic for another thread! ) DH presented this offer to his parents on Sunday, stressing that they were not coming as babysitters, they would have their own room, it was our treat, meals and park tickets were included, etc. They thanked us for the "nice offer" and wanted to know when they needed to let us know by. I just told them as soon as they could. They are both retired, but FIL works weekends and did not see a problem getting time off. FIL called later that Sunday evening to check what dates we were going. That was the last time we talked to them.

DH is starting to get hurt feelings and I'm starting to get annoyed! Are we overreacting? I told him yesterday maybe he should call them and tell them they don't have to come for all 8 days if that was too long for them (I would not mind ). He does not want to though because he thinks it seems like he is begging them to come.

What do you think we should do. I don't know, if someone offered me a free trip anywhere, I'd be all over it!

Thanks for any opinions/advice!

 

[pinkdiamonds1007]

I think there should be an inlaw support group...lol.

I would at least give it until Sunday. Then just have hubby call casually and see whats going on other than Disney, and just work Disney in. Have hubby explain to them at that time, that you will be booking your vacation on X day and you would like to know their decision the day before. As you want to ensure you get the best rooms and prices.

Hope that helps...I know inlaws can be difficult! Trust me, i know..I could write the book on that subject and have some left over for a TV movie.

 

[Pamlur]

I read somewhere that space is limited for that offer; do you have their room reserved while you wait for them to "lollygag" around? Maybe somebody needs to give them a gentle push.

 

[minkydog]

Hmmm, let me see..an 8-day,all expense paid trip to Disney with three kids under age 5. Yeah, I'd have to think about that one too. No doubt your MIL sees right through the protests that you aren't inviting them for babysitting(yeah, right.)

Hopefully, they will decide to go with you. I'm sure it would be a lot of fun. Personally, I'd rather get hit by a bus than take a baby & two preschoolers to WDW, but that's just me.

 

[PrincessMommy2]

Ouch , minkydog.....I really hope they don't think they were invited to babysit...I can count the times on one hand that I've needed to ask them to babysit in the last four years....thanks for your opinion though.

 

[minkydog]

Sorry, Princess. I was just thinking of my sister's similar offer to take my mom of vacation last summer--three weeks in a truck pulling a camper to the Arizona(from Alabama!) with no reservations, riding in the backseat with the 16yo and 3yo. Oh yeah, that was some fun. I think they finally started speaking to each other again about 3 months ago.

I didn't mean to come down hard on you. I'm sure you have the best intentions(unlike my sis, who promptly handed over the 3yo and trotted off into the Grand Canyon.) I hope ya'll have a wonderful time and please forgive me.

 

[rbork]

IL's are odd and I still don't understand mine. Hey, you made the offer. I would suggest calling after a week and giving them a deadline to respond (politely, of course) and then call it a day. If the come great and if they don't - oh well. You made a nice gesture and that's what count's. It bother's me and my DH when IL's can't take invite geniunely. Just because their other kid's take advantage doesn't mean everyone does! Sorry for your dissappointment when they didn't accept right away - "been there, done that"
Go with your kid's and enjoy, it just might be for the best if they end up not accepting.
Good Luck and do what's right for you!

p.s. I want to join that IL's support group too! lol.

 

[tn_disney_addict]

I'd be happy to come along as the grandparents....AND BABYSIT for you!!!

 

[disneygoof]

I'd give it more time. Figure out when you need to book by and let them know they have until then to decide. You still have a few weeks before you need to make PS's, etc.

As generous as your offer is, and I do think it's extremely generous, some people don't enjoy the Disney experience. My IL's would jump at the chance, wouldn't have to ask twice, would love to take the kiddos on their own to give us down time, and would do whatever we planned every day without complaint. My parents will never go to Disney again and will never feel as if they're missing anything. It doesn't bother me in the least but I'm not sure my siblings feel the same.

Any hesitation might be a miscommunication (FIL thought asking dates implied that they accepted?), or may have to do with their perceived perception of how you "do" theme parks differently than them. Are they older? Do they think they might slow you down? Would you be offended or put out if they want to enjoy the morning with you then head back to the hotel for a rest in the afternoon? Are you an AM commando and do they sleep in and if so, are you willing to meet up at lunchtime instead? I'm not suggesting that you might be inflexible, or that they might be, just that you should consider, and probably discuss, these types of things before the trip to avoid inconveniencing or insulting anyone on the trip. After all, it's about the intergenerational magic, yes?

Good luck, but don't sweat it! Either way, you're going to the World!

 

[crisi]

You told them "as soon as you can" Therefore, they don't know what is reasonable. Had you said, "we need to know in 48 hours, the package is limited and we want to be able to take advantage of it." You asked them on Sunday, you posted back you hadn't gotten a reply on Wednesday. To them, October is still months away and they have plenty of time to make up their minds.

We got a similar offer from friends of ours for Mexico. We'd have to pay airfare, but the accomodations were taken care of. Cheap trip and we knew immediately it wouldn't stretch the budget. But it still took almost two weeks to say yes. We had to make sure Grandma could take the kids. We had to mull over some trip details (who else was going? What would vacation be like with them?) I felt two weeks was a reasonable amount of time to say yes.

We offered a cruise to my parents. Booked it almost a year ago now, its not until next year. I still don't have a firm yes from them, I finally told my Mom, "I'm booking it, rates are low, I can cancel you guys without penalty if you decide you don't want to go." Since then, they've been talking like they are going.

 

[lulugirl]

It's only been a few days since you presented the offer. I would have Dh call and ask them if they have made a decision. I'm not sure I understand why Dh's feelings are hurt and you are annoyed?
Most of us here would love a free trip to Disney but maybe your Il's have reasons why they don't want to go?

 

[The Disney Bunch]

You didn't give them a deadline - you presented it to them on Sunday - today is Thursday - your FIl works on weekends - I would assume that they are waiting for him to go into work & ask for the time off & then tell you what they decide. I don't think they are being unreasonable. If you needed a decision by a certain date, you should have told them that - not left it openended.

 

[aquidneck]

What a generous offer. I'd never invite my mother-in-law on a vacation. My sister-in-law does and they can't do everything they want because the mother-in-law says it's a waste of money. She insists on english muffins for breakfast every morning. Doesn't offer to pay for anything, not even a little something for the grandkids. Getting back to you as soon as they can is an open reply. They may be waiting to see if someone else can fill in. I invited my brother on my upcoming Disney vacation in August, I asked him three months ago. He says he'll get back to me this weekend. This is messing up my transportation and rental vehicle. If he comes I need a minivan and need to book it asap. Some places don't have any available. I'd ask them this weekend. Very light heartily, of course. Just explain you would like to start planning your trip (transportation and priority seating). You'd think grandparents would love to experience Disney through their kids eyes. It's so special seeing their reactions. Good luck!

 

[Gillian]

That is a nice offer! I would have said yes before you finished the question!

I do know that sometimes people are not aware that you are waiting for a response. They may have made up their minds and forgotten to call. You never know. It's a high priority to you, but they may be so busy babysitting for your sisters in law that they haven't had a chance to get back to you.

I would call them and just ask.

 

[3mickeys&me]

The last two time we went to the parks my IL's have come with us. We all had a blast together and it was wonderful for them to share in the fun at Disney with their Grandchildren. Priceless. I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Fingers crossed they realize how much fun it would be. I'd give them a call and start talking about the exciting times you guys could have together there with the kids. Might make them make a decision quicker!!

 

[lillygator]

maybe they feel like they would have to help no matter what you've said as far as babysitting goes...I mean three kids two adults, it is easy to see two extra pairs of hands will definitely help out regardless if they have their own rooms or not.


My OUTLAWZ are the same way DD is almost three...they have never babysat, never changed a diaper, never spent time alone with her either or the new baby. Now, I have never asked them to babysit or change a diaper....but I know they would never come to Disney for a free trip....we are getting them to come to 1900 Park Fare in October for DD's birthday dinner though.

I know it's hard because MIL always gets to me, but I would just call and ask if they have decided that you have to book the rooms now and if they say yes, great if not you'll have plenty of pics to share when you return home.

 

[quiltymom]

I agree with what the others have already said.

We visited WDW this Spring with my IL's. Granted, they invited us and paid for it all, but we basically did our own thing every day and then met up once for a meal, or Cirque de Soleli, or something. I would have never expected to have them follow us around all day -- they would've been exhausted! They only babysat once, so DH & I could go to PL.

Maybe if you give them ideas of the things THEY could do by themselves while there it would help them make up their mind. My IL's had a blast just visiting all the Deluxe resorts and eating in Epcot all the time. There's so much to do there other than ride rides.

Just a thought... I hope that all goes well!

 

[Stephres]

They may not realize the urgency of booking rooms on your part. When I invited my parents to go on our last trip they changed the dates they wanted to go and it drove me nuts! I tried to explain to them why it was important to book in advance and how their room was now on a wait list. Fortunately the wait list came through and they were able to stay with us.

The parents just might not understand how things work in Disney. I would have DH try to relate to them the reason you need to know if they want to come or not.

 

[dreamscometrue47]

I recently asked my mother to go to WDW in January 2006 with me to celebrate our "milestone" birthdays. I was so excited asking her that I also felt a little let down when she didn't say "of course!" but needed to think about it. I had already booked flights with Delta skymiles and had 20 days to confirm them, so I told her when I needed to hear back from her by.

You have to know that I talk to my Mom at least once a day and believe me, it was really hard not to say "so, have you made a decision??". I didn't want to pressure her, but boy, i was on pins and needles for days!

Well, the other day she decided to say yes! Believe it or not, she is leary of flying and that was her concern. So our flights are confirmed and I have a room only reservation at the Poly (waiting for discounts or packages!!!).

I would give it a day or two, and then call, nicely letting them know that you need to start planning. They may still waver, and if you really DO want to start planning, then you'll need to be firm with a date to get back to you by.

I hope things work out for you, but if not, then it wasn't meant to be, and there's not too much you can do about it. At least you and your family will still go; if my mom had said No, then I wasn't going either!

 

[js]

Just a quick thought comes to mind, especially that you said your dh sisters monopolize much of your mil time for babysitting.

Does your mil babysit on a steady basis while your sil go to work, etc. I wonder if your mil is seeing if your sils can get alternative babysitters in her absence and thus the reason why you haven’t heard from her yet? I’m very lucky that my dh gets along well with my dm and I get along with my inlaws and I too would be annoyed if I hadn’t heard from my inlaws yet but I wonder if this is the case.

We and my mom own at OLCC and asked my inlaws last Dec. if they wanted to go back to Disney with us 10/06 and my mil didn’t even think about it and said yes. If I was waiting any longer than a week, I would be annoyed. I would call your mil and tell them you are making your hotel ressies and flights (even if you have done so already) and need to have an answer either way. Good luck.. but hope you don’t need it.