Just back from alimony court and owe husband

[Hermosa11]

yep, you saw right....just got back from Family court.....divorce is pending due to lack of funds.....husband took me to court today for alimony.......he is working part time, due to 2yr++ old workers comp.......while applying for Social security disability he must earn no more than $900/mth.....he will know in 30 days the social security court findings on what he will get or NOT!!!!
the mediator we were going thru calculated $368 I would pay him.........he was off!!!! went to court............the volunteer attny calculated $619 . I almost fell.. .......I did not agree.........went back in front of judge and he put it at $544 and I flipping owe for May!!! effective July 1, $50/mth.............
I moved out earlier in May....to my own apartment.........I came home crying.
I think I have it out of my system (cry) and will now budget my money....
$785 rent.....$544 alimony....etc. I will be eating popcorn or whatever I can get tips from the Budget board............
really need some hugs.........

 

[DixieDolphin]

That's awful. =( Sounds like you really got a pretty raw deal here. Hang in there, though.

 

[Pop Daddy]

it just anit right for a man to have a women give him money to live off of

 

[Hermosa11]

everyone I know agrees.....many men at that. He does NOT have a problem with it. It is either the law, or California.....

 

[OhMari]

I read your post and smiled when you announced you finally moved out. I'm sorry I never posted to your thread. This just doesn't sound right -I didn't think alimony even existed anymore-just child support.

 

[ilovejack02]

I am so sorry to hear that, how long are you on the hook for?

 

[minniecarousel]

egads! That's California for you. I wonder if other states have laws that dictate this. Did you move out of a home you own together? Or have you sold a house? I hope you can find some $$$ somewhere.

Hang in there.

 

[Hermosa11]

on the hook for? well, I believe for half of marriage (26yr marriage...)
my paperwork does not state a time period!!! I think I have to file a motion to return........to determine a more updated $$ amount once he gets word in 30 days from social security telling him their findings whether he will be awarded social security benefits....He only has a 15% disability! he can do physical work, he just firmly believes he is disabled. He needs to go to a vet hospital.
Yes, I am extremely bitter right now.
Would I be bad in sending him an e-mail telling him my gentleman friend is extremely upset at him for accepting $$ from me? and send it with a photo of my fellow? would that be BAD?????????????

 

[babytrees]

I am sorry to hear that

 

[ilovejack02]

on the hook for? well, I believe for half of marriage (26yr marriage...)
my paperwork does not state a time period!!! I think I have to file a motion to return........to determine a more updated $$ amount once he gets word in 30 days from social security telling him their findings whether he will be awarded social security benefits....He only has a 15% disability! he can do physical work, he just firmly believes he is disabled. He needs to go to a vet hospital.
Yes, I am extremely bitter right now.
Would I be bad in sending him an e-mail telling him my gentleman friend is extremely upset at him for accepting $$ from me? and send it with a photo of my fellow? would that be BAD?????????????

LOL .. .no what would be bad is sending that gentleman friend over to make sure he was more than 15% disabled.

I cant imagine that the courts would just let this go on forever if it can be proved that he is only 15% disabled.... seems to me it would be like child support... ya cant just NOT work so you dont have to pay right?
Im so sorry that is how Cali. works. Here in Louisiana you get it for about 15 months. Its called interim spousal support.

 

[Ichabadi]

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but the higher earning spouse often has to pay alimony to the lower earning spouse. No one would think twice if it were the man paying the woman.

 

[Hermosa11]

I am telling you California SUCKS!!!!!! re: these laws.. friend in GA only takes 6-weeks for divorce to be final. geesh!
I have GOT to figure out how to finish off this divorce.

I like the idea of sending friend over to make it more than 15% disability... he can come over in his Harley.........

 

[TwistofLemon]

Just remember, it might take a while, but he WILL get what's coming to him (and I don't mean your $$$)

 

[ilovejack02]

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but the higher earning spouse often has to pay alimony to the lower earning spouse. No one would think twice if it were the man paying the woman.

I dont think that is the issue.. the issue is a lazy man who refuses to work.

I personally think people would look down on a woman who did the same thing.

 

[Hermosa11]

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but the higher earning spouse often has to pay alimony to the lower earning spouse. No one would think twice if it were the man paying the woman.

the thing that bothers me so is that he CHOSES to follow thru with workers comp suit..........He CHOSE to not let it go (it is NOT like he lost a limb or 50% disability)........and re-train himself and try to work and earn $$$ for the family. Son at home at time of injury. He never liked to work. He will and can mow the lawn, move things out of garage to paint.......do stuff in the back yard but will hide so no one can catch him. I am sick of that......I had to leave , I could not live like that or with him anymore. And because of this injury he cannot work now for rest of life full time? he cannot do SOMETHING fulltime........He ChOSES to try and get disability. not work as much as possible. He NEVER liked to work.
I was married to him for 26 years, I think I know him.
I am sorry, as I said, this is too fresh and I am very bitter.
Thank you so much for allowing me to vent here. This is all I want and need is to vent. No judging .......no cures..........just tips on how to budge my $$$ hahahahha Make $200 turn into $400, you know....magic!! pixie dust!!!!!

 

[ilovejack02]

I cant imagine how bitter i would be.

I can remember my dad sending private investigators out to take pictures of guys like this. The best one was when one of his employees tried to claim he was injured, but still participated in body building contests .

I hope it works out soon for you. Im glad you left, ive read your posts before so i do remember you talking about him.

Just remember karma is a B and she slaps hard !!!!

 

[tasha99]

it just anit right for a man to have a women give him money to live off of

I know it's sexist, but I have to agree. Somehow, accepting alimony is even more emasculating than being unemployed and living in your mama's basement.

 

[declansdad]

I know it's sexist, but I have to agree. Somehow, accepting alimony is even more emasculating than being unemployed and living in your mama's basement.

This is such a double standard!

 

[tasha99]

This is such a double standard!

I know . . . . but it's not like I think women who live in their mama's basements are doing all that well either.

 

[tngramma]

yep, you saw right....just got back from Family court.....divorce is pending due to lack of funds.....husband took me to court today for alimony.......he is working part time, due to 2yr++ old workers comp.......while applying for Social security disability he must earn no more than $900/mth.....he will know in 30 days the social security court findings on what he will get or NOT!!!!
the mediator we were going thru calculated $368 I would pay him.........he was off!!!! went to court............the volunteer attny calculated $619 . I almost fell.. .......I did not agree.........went back in front of judge and he put it at $544 and I flipping owe for May!!! effective July 1, $50/mth.............
I moved out earlier in May....to my own apartment.........I came home crying.
I think I have it out of my system (cry) and will now budget my money....
$785 rent.....$544 alimony....etc. I will be eating popcorn or whatever I can get tips from the Budget board............
really need some hugs.........

Sending your way. I don't have any advice but aren't you proud of that handsome son of yours. I am a proud Army mom so I know how it feels to see your son in that uniform. Thank him for me for the service he will give to our country.