NO RECEPTION-am i normal?

[pixie921]

This still wouldn't fly with my guests -- I tried to do a light dessert reception for our wedding 20 years ago (which wasn't even a destination wedding) and got more than one angry phone call. Hope it all works out the way you hope.

 

[LittleMissMagic]

You titled this thread "am i normal?"....... so why do you feel the need to rebuttle everyone who has voiced opposing views? I thought you wanted to hear people's opinions... if you have your mind set (which you clearly do), then why open the floor for debate?

 

[robinb]

let me elaborate a second.....my "expensive destination wedding" is actually not expensive at all. it is a fraction of what i would cost to have a "real" wedding. the disney wedding decision was intentional. intentionally to save money.

I wasn't talking about it being expensive for you. I am well aware that cost is one of the factors why many brides choose WDW as a wedding destination. It instantly trims the guest list of people like your mother's third cousin twice removed . I was speaking about your guests. It's a lot to ask guests to travel for your wedding. And even if they would have to travel anyway, between over priced WDW "resorts" and park passes WDW is a pretty expensive destination.

No one is saying that you need to book a reception through Disney. I think it's really nice to see some have great ideas about saving money on a special meal with your guests like having a lunch or a breakfast instead of dinner. Or, as one person is doing, going offsite for their reception. All I'm saying is that if I went all the way to WDW (Hawaii, Jamaica, etc) for someone's wedding ... yeah I would be disappointed if they didn't at least feed me a meal along the way.

FWIW, I have been to a number of lovely smaller weddings where the refreshments were just cake and champagne. However, I was not asked to spend hundreds of dollars to get there.

I do hope that you get everything worked out and I'm sure that you will have a wonderful wedding! I have seen weddings at the Sea Breeze and they aleays look very romantic (except that one December when the bride looked frozen).

 

[wendyiam]

I would hope people wouldn't buy a plane ticket in hopes of a free meal, that would be pretty silly.
I think that the people that take the trouble to come would love you enough just be happy to see you getting married and also have an excuse to come to disney world. Just sayin.

 

[DisneyBride1207]

 

[pixie921]

I would hope people wouldn't buy a plane ticket in hopes of a free meal, that would be pretty silly.
I think that the people that take the trouble to come would love you enough just be happy to see you getting married and also have an excuse to come to disney world. Just sayin.

Believe it or not, some people just aren't Disney fans and don't want or need "an excuse to come to Disney". If I wasn't providing my parents with a villa and yes, feeding them after our vow renewal, they wouldn't be coming. They've made it perfectly clear that they're coming for our event, not Disney. Same with my brother and his family. My brother works on property building the new Animation Suites, and they live 20 minutes from Disney -- yet they haven't gone once.

And none of us are saying people go to weddings "in hopes of a free meal". A celebratory meal shows a couple's appreciation for others coming and sharing in their day. It's also a way of taking care of your guests, which is something good hosts do.

 

[stitchaholic]

I have tried to be as laid back as you are... we are also finacially challenged for our wedding, we also priced weddings out in many ways, and no matter how you slice it, they all cost too much , we finally decided to elope, just us and the kids because it was too much stress, family said they could not afford it, or not handle the florida heat with bad health issues, so we thought the elloppemnt was perfect, no sooner was it booked that everyone jumped back on the bandwagon and wants to come.... IT'S STRESSING ME OUT
SO YOUR IDEA SOUNDS LIKE BLISS ! although we make kona breakfast reservation for everyone after the ceremony .....I cracked under the pressure

 

[disneybride219]

If I wasn't providing my parents with a villa and yes, feeding them after our vow renewal, they wouldn't be coming.

thats so sad. im sorry your parents feel that way. but my parents gladly go where i need them. and vice versa.

 

[daisygirl902]

This brings back memories - for my wedding in September I made the mistake of posting on here that my reception was optional (at HDDR) and if guests wanted to join us they were buying tickets - it resulted in a huge amount of opinions, some that were actually quite hurtful. The funny part about it was that my family and best friends were the only ones coming and they actually suggested doing this. None of my guests cared, no one got upset, no one was resentful about the fact that they paid to come to our wedding and weren't getting a free meal. They were very happy to be included in the happiest day of our lives - and for all of you saying "Yeah they didn't tell you they were upset - they THOUGHT it though, they just kept their mouths shut" - you obviously don't know my friends and family.

We all went to HDDR in our wedding finery, they DID all pay for their tickets, and we had a fantastic time!! AND we took Disney Transportation to get there - we had a blast doing it, and not one person complained or thought it was weird...in fact a few of them expressed that they would have been appalled if I had spent $500 on a motorcoach when we rode perfectly comfortably for free!

I did in the end decide to have brunch after the ceremony becasue we changed the time to 10 AM, but not because I felt the need to feed people, but because we could afford to add it in without going into debt, AND because it was the right thing to do for US. Nothing that I planned as a part of our day was due to obligation or tradition - we are who we are, and our families and friends love and respect us for it.

Do what works for you. You will learn quickly what topics to avoid posting or commenting on...sometimes you don't realize what a can of worms you are opening! It's Disney - I'm sure if you don't have a reception you will STILL have a fantastic time!!

 

[Disney-Chick]

I thought I would pipe in my 2 cents. I think one of the issues are it's hard to hear the tone of everyone's voice so some of what people say come across rude or judgemental.

I was married at Sea Breeze Point this past January. My older sister gave me some complaints as she doesn't like Disney (my BIL, niece/nephew love it). I told her that she didn't have to come and all I needed was myself, DH, and my daughter, whoever else came was extra.

As for the reception...I had one at the house my parents rented. We were going to order catering but was to expensive so my father offered to BBQ along with my uncle and cousin. So here I am eating BBQ chicken in my wedding dress. I thought it was better than doing a restaurant as some would be to far from me. I am having a summer reception here in my home town for those who could not attend. That was my original plan but my father wanted something afterwards.

I think if you let them know before going they should be fine. What time is your wedding at? And if they are that upset with not getting a meal, then they shouldn't bother coming..to much stress for you.

If you could also post a pic of your dress that would be great. If it's only a white dress and not really a wedding dress then it should be fine going into the parks. But I would be cautious if your DH will be wearing his Tux. Don't need security chasing you down.

Just my opinion.

 

[disneybride219]

This brings back memories - for my wedding in September I made the mistake of posting on here that my reception was optional (at HDDR) and if guests wanted to join us they were buying tickets - it resulted in a huge amount of opinions, some that were actually quite hurtful. The funny part about it was that my family and best friends were the only ones coming and they actually suggested doing this. None of my guests cared, no one got upset, no one was resentful about the fact that they paid to come to our wedding and weren't getting a free meal. They were very happy to be included in the happiest day of our lives - and for all of you saying "Yeah they didn't tell you they were upset - they THOUGHT it though, they just kept their mouths shut" - you obviously don't know my friends and family.

We all went to HDDR in our wedding finery, they DID all pay for their tickets, and we had a fantastic time!! AND we took Disney Transportation to get there - we had a blast doing it, and not one person complained or thought it was weird...in fact a few of them expressed that they would have been appalled if I had spent $500 on a motorcoach when we rode perfectly comfortably for free!

I did in the end decide to have brunch after the ceremony becasue we changed the time to 10 AM, but not because I felt the need to feed people, but because we could afford to add it in without going into debt, AND because it was the right thing to do for US. Nothing that I planned as a part of our day was due to obligation or tradition - we are who we are, and our families and friends love and respect us for it.

Do what works for you. You will learn quickly what topics to avoid posting or commenting on...sometimes you don't realize what a can of worms you are opening! It's Disney - I'm sure if you don't have a reception you will STILL have a fantastic time!!

you couldnt have hit the nail MORE on the head. that is a perfect deiscription of my situation. the only people coming are close personal friends...and they are aware of the siitution.
but you are soo right!

 

[pixie921]

thats so sad. im sorry your parents feel that way. but my parents gladly go where i need them. and vice versa.

My parents go where I need them, too. But they're not *needed* at my vow renewal, just wanted. No need to think of it as sad.

As others have pointed out, you obviously weren't interested in opposing viewpoints, you were just looking for validation on your choice, which I really don't understand, since you're so certain your guests are fine with your not feeding them. So why bother with the question? Just do your thing and enjoy yourselves!

 

[transfergirl]

Do what you want. It's your wedding. No it's not normal, and who cares? Ask the people who matter, not a bunch of people you don't know and who aren't involved. Just think about the people who are involved, and whether they're going to be dramatic and hold a grudge.

As for the dress- study the following equation:

You in a wedding dress (if it looks like a wedding dress) + Epcot Food & Wine Festival = Potential for fondling by drunks who want to take pictures with you before security gets you for wearing a wedding dress

Another possible option, if your dress is too bridey: China sells cheongsams (fancy satin chinese dresses) that you can probably purchase in white or ivory anywhere you find them. Now I don't think they can kick you out for wearing merchandise "purchased on property," and it can't technically be considered a bridal gown since Chinese brides wear red (white is for funerals, but hey- you're not in real China)...

And then have the hubby lose the formalwear.

I know, not the same as your wearing wedding dress. You can still look fancy, though.

 

[princesswendy720]

I wanted to pop back in to restate that I definitely don't think you need to pay for all your guests - but you mentioned just going into the park and winging it. I'd hate for you to be wandering around Disney with your guests and have no where to sit down and eat. I know you said you're a fly by the seat of your pants kind of person, but not everyone is and your guests might appreciate a little structure to the rest of the day. Maybe make a large reservation at a buffet restaurant so your guests know the exact cost up front. Then anyone who wants to come can show up and celebrate together.

 

[disneybride219]

we are going to eat food people!!!!! just so you all can get the picture. we are not having a formal sit down with centerpieces. this is what i mean by reception!!!!! no one will starve! got it? good! and yes i will still be winging it..why because i feel like it.

 

[disneybride219]

As others have pointed out, you obviously weren't interested in opposing viewpoints, you were just looking for validation on your choice, which I really don't understand, since you're so certain your guests are fine with your not feeding them. So why bother with the question? Just do your thing and enjoy yourselves!

i actually was just testing the message boards. being relatively new to them i thought it would spark interesting conversation as well as opposing viewpoints..not ridicule and judgment. i thought the disney message boards would be fun and informative. as it turns out...i got slayed for my ideas and judged for my plans.
i could care less. but i know now to not share my unique ideas and opinions for fear out of offending a highly sensitive personality.

 

[princesswendy720]

we are going to eat food people!!!!! just so you all can get the picture. we are not having a formal sit down with centerpieces. this is what i mean by reception!!!!! no one will starve! got it? good! and yes i will still be winging it..why because i feel like it.

you know I was just trying to offer you advice, but it's clear you don't want it based on this rude response. I take it you've never tried to walk up and get seated at a restaurant in a theme park with a large group during a free dining period. Feel free to wing it, but be prepared to eat counter service and have difficulty finding seats. I'm done giving advice to people who don't want to listen.

 

[disneybride219]

you know I was just trying to offer you advice, but it's clear you don't want it based on this rude response. I take it you've never tried to walk up and get seated at a restaurant in a theme park with a large group during a free dining period. Feel free to wing it, but be prepared to eat counter service and have difficulty finding seats. I'm done giving advice to people who don't want to listen.

I am like peeing my pants laughing right now. we have reservations!!!!!!! i never said we didnt! what i meant....again let me explain...is that i am NOT having a formal event. dancing. music...plated dinner, centerpieces. got it yet? that whole shabang. we will be eating. all of us. but i will not be paying. my god. i wont be making people starve for crying out loud! where did this idea come from?!?! hahahaha. this is actually pretty amusing. and now im really beginning to enjoy myself......everyone takes this really seriously huh?

 

[tinkerbell 766]

Sweetie, I am so sorry you feel so unwelcome and persecuted. As you say, you are fairly new to the boards and if you stick around, I am sure you will find that we are a decent bunch really. Mostly fair and friendly.
It is your wedding and you can (and should) do as you please. However, you asked the question 'is it normal to have no reception' and I guess it is obvious that the answer is no, it isn't. Most brides here feel (some quite strongly), that it is the norm to have some sort of meal or event planned for your guests after the ceremony. If this isn't what you plan to do, that's just fine, but it may have been better not to ask the question if you didn't want people to answer honestly, because that is precisiely what they have done. I am only sorry this has upset you.
I wish you a magical wedding day and a very long and happy marriage and I hope you will pop back and tell us all about it!!
EDIT - I just read the above post and see that we are now amusing you. Gosh!!! Just be aware that if people think you are laughing at them (and the fact that they take their wedding plans seriously), you will prevoke more sour responses. I am sure we can all agree to disagree. Just be careful of asking questions to which you don't require an honest answer!!! I know my Disbride friends well enough to know they will be honest and fair in their responses. Good luck sweetie!!

 

[Stephie77]

Looking back I don't think anyone ridiculed or judged you. You asked a specific question, am I crazy for not wanting to have a reception and people responded with their opinions. A lot of times on these boards, you interpet the way someone writes to the way their tone is which is not the case. You also got defensive about what people suggested. No one is trying to flame you but give you ideas on what can be done to assure that you have no stress on your wedding day. I am also very laid back but let me tell you you do not want to worry about your guests or anything else on your wedding day. You never responded to my question, are you having an Escape wedding? If so, you should put on the invitation about the champagne and cake afterwards so people are aware (i think someone already suggested that). Also, if you do decide to do a dinner and want your guests to pay for their plates, let them know on the invitation.

You never specifically said that you had reservations. The way your original post was worded basically said you were going to drink around the world and wing it. YOU wanted to know if this was normal. If you said, we are not having a reception but lunch/dinner after then people would have responded different. You need to be thorough on a message boards as we don't know you at all, so how would we know you had reservations if you did not state it in the originall post. A lot of people in Disney just have a dinner for their guests without dj, flowers etc. If you want your guests to pay for it, that is on you and your guests. My opinion is that it is wrong but that is my opinion. You have the right to do what you want and is conveinent for your guests.

There is no need to get nasty or act immature with people trying to help out especially since you asked for it. Just figured I'd point that out. Everyone on here for the most part tries to help others out with their planning.