How old is too old for DD's to go with DH in the men's room?

[robinb]

And, if there was what that matter to you? You stated you used the mens room at a Red Sox Patriots game when you knew it was illegal to. So apparently, you had more "right" than the men did??? That is what is so confusing to me.

Apparently, imthatgirl's convenience is paramount. Actual laws, social conventions and the comfort level of the intended users of a particular gendered bathrooms are no concern of hers. And anyone who disagrees with her is labeled "crazy" or a "creep". If she feels overwhelmed with her kids now, I think she will REALLY have her hands full if that "snowflakey" attitude rubs off on them.

 

[Mkrop]

Hmm, must've not made the news.

http://forums.wdwmagic.com/showthread.php?t=465639

Try googling....

 

[Hannathy]

That was a teen boy and in the pool!!! there were thousands of people there, hardly the bathroom and all that happened to the kid was he was touched, hardly molested.

 

[Mkrop]

That was a teen boy and in the pool!!! there were thousands of people there, hardly the bathroom and all that happened to the kid was he was touched, hardly molested.

yes it happened in front of a ton of people, so crowds dont make places safe like people say...oh gee just cause it is a WDW bathroom that is crowded it must be safe

how would you feel if that was your child that was "just touched"? and if it was no big deal then why was the guy was arrested?

I swear some people will rationalize anything...bad things happen, do they happen around every turn, NO, but I am not taking unnecessary risks with my children. Yes we drive in cars, where accidents occur, but we take necessary precautions like seatbelts and obeying traffic laws to minimize that risk. Why wouldnt you do that with your child at a young age? You can prepare them for bad situations as well as not put them in harm's way either

 

[Hannathy]

yes it happened in front of a ton of people, so crowds dont make places safe like people say...oh gee just cause it is a WDW bathroom that is crowded it must be safe

how would you feel if that was your child that was "just touched"? and if it was no big deal then why was the guy was arrested?

I swear some people will rationalize anything...bad things happen, do they happen around every turn, NO, but I am not taking unnecessary risks with my children. Yes we drive in cars, where accidents occur, but we take necessary precautions like seatbelts and obeying traffic laws to minimize that risk. Why wouldnt you do that with your child at a young age? You can prepare them for bad situations as well as not put them in harm's way either

So then you aren't allowing your teen or your younger children to go swimming? Seems at Disney that is more dangerous than going to the bathroom.
Disney bathrooms are safe, tens of millions of bathroom visits and no problems, But even knowing that I'm going to fret over that miniscule possibility it might happen and embarrass my child and make other young girls uncomfortable because yes if another 10 million bathroom visits happen something bad might happen. Geeze I swear some people will try to find something bad when there just isn't any indication.

And if it were my son and it happened in a crowded pool and all the guy did was grope him, then yep it is no big deal and I would tell my son to forget about it and go on with his life. Certainly wouldn't dwell on it. And I happen to have a 13 yr old. Why was he arrested because you can't go around touching anybody you want in any way you want.

 

[Bonniec]

And if it were my son and it happened in a crowded pool and all the guy did was grope him, then yep it is no big deal and I would tell my son to forget about it and go on with his life.

Speechless

 

[Hannathy]

Speechless

Why? You would prefer dwelling on it and making him afraid of life and crowds when no harm came to him? the guy touched him. Get over it. What good would come from making him think he was harmed in any way? having him think about it needlessly and anguish over it or if he did something wrong.

I would simply tell him the guy had no right to touch you without your permission, no one does. The guy was caught and is being punished for doing that and that he my son didn't do anything wrong and since he wasn't hurt it was up to the police to deal with the guy now and he should go back to normal and move on with life. Just like you do when they fall off their bike, if there aren't any physical injuries you have to brush yourself off and get back on and get moving.

What would you want him to do? develop a fear of any person who moved near him? be afraid and think about it constantly and let it eat away at him?

Seriously you were never groped at a college party? That is what we are talking about here, the man didn't rape him.

 

[Mkrop]

Speechless

Thought it was just me....

 

[Mkrop]

Why? You would prefer dwelling on it and making him afraid of life and crowds when no harm came to him? the guy touched him. Get over it. What good would come from making him think he was harmed in any way? having him think about it needlessly and anguish over it or if he did something wrong.

I would simply tell him the guy had no right to touch you without your permission, no one does. The guy was caught and is being punished for doing that and that he my son didn't do anything wrong and since he wasn't hurt it was up to the police to deal with the guy now and he should go back to normal and move on with life. Just like you do when they fall off their bike, if there aren't any physical injuries you have to brush yourself off and get back on and get moving.

What would you want him to do? develop a fear of any person who moved near him? be afraid and think about it constantly and let it eat away at him?

Seriously you were never groped at a college party? That is what we are talking about here, the man didn't rape him.

I was a young adult when I was in college, this is a child, a young teen. No comparison.

 

[Hannathy]

I was a young adult when I was in college, this is a child, a young teen. No comparison.

How is it any different? I don't understand. The teen was not hurt they were touched, no damage. Seriously how is it any different if you are just touched if you are 13 or you are 18?

Please explain?

 

[nhmommy]

Why? You would prefer dwelling on it and making him afraid of life and crowds when no harm came to him? the guy touched him. Get over it. What good would come from making him think he was harmed in any way? having him think about it needlessly and anguish over it or if he did something wrong.

I would simply tell him the guy had no right to touch you without your permission, no one does. The guy was caught and is being punished for doing that and that he my son didn't do anything wrong and since he wasn't hurt it was up to the police to deal with the guy now and he should go back to normal and move on with life. Just like you do when they fall off their bike, if there aren't any physical injuries you have to brush yourself off and get back on and get moving.

What would you want him to do? develop a fear of any person who moved near him? be afraid and think about it constantly and let it eat away at him?

Seriously you were never groped at a college party? That is what we are talking about here, the man didn't rape him.

This is not a big deal it's a huge deal! for the 17year old, the police,the public, the water-park and the parents of the 13year old. The person this should be no big deal for is the young boy himself I agree he should be told it wasn't his fault shouldn't have happened and should never happen again and he should be able to forget about it. It can only be a big deal if it is allowed to be. If he doesn't get treated like a victim and doesn't see himself as a victim then he wont be a victim. Also if for some reason it is a problem for him to get over it he should have help doing so not told to dwell on the incident.

 

[Mkrop]

How is it any different? I don't understand. The teen was not hurt they were touched, no damage. Seriously how is it any different if you are just touched if you are 13 or you are 18?

Please explain?

I really need to explain the difference btw someone touching a child inappropriately vs an adult wow just wow

Umm both are wrong and are violating the person but hopefully as an adult I have the maturity to deal with that violation and can properly judged the severity of the groping. A young child may or may not, most likely not have the maturity to deal with an unwanted groping and it can cause confusing feelings. I would not want my child to panic but I certainly would not be telling my child to dismiss it and tell them it was no big deal. We would talk about it, I would praise them for coming forward bc maybe they saved a lot of other children being groped.

 

[pls5286]

I have a 12 y/o Autistic DSS who is a wanderer, normally either his dad or my 14 y/o DS take him to the bathroom, but when he lived 4 hours from us and I did a majority of the driving while his dad was at work occasionally the need would arise for us both to use the restroom and it was just the two of us. There was no way was I going to let him go in the mens room while I was in the ladies room and no one waiting on him. We went in together and I put him in a stall beside me. I was not letting him get loose at a rest area! It is a chore to catch him when he gets away from you and I am not physically able. If he doesn't have to go and I do, he has to come in with me and keep his toes under the edge of the middle of my door and face it. No moving around allowed.

 

[JimmyPicker]

So then you aren't allowing your teen or your younger children to go swimming? Seems at Disney that is more dangerous than going to the bathroom.
Disney bathrooms are safe, tens of millions of bathroom visits and no problems, But even knowing that I'm going to fret over that miniscule possibility it might happen and embarrass my child and make other young girls uncomfortable because yes if another 10 million bathroom visits happen something bad might happen. Geeze I swear some people will try to find something bad when there just isn't any indication.

And if it were my son and it happened in a crowded pool and all the guy did was grope him, then yep it is no big deal and I would tell my son to forget about it and go on with his life. Certainly wouldn't dwell on it. And I happen to have a 13 yr old. Why was he arrested because you can't go around touching anybody you want in any way you want.

OMG, I'm so glad you aren't my mother!! How can you say that?

Oh son, so what if some pervert grabbed your willy wacker? No one cares that you were embarrassed in front of all those people at the water park. And all those years your teachers taught you to never let strangers touch you in your special places...just ignore that. Let them touch you whenever and wherever they want. No big deal.

 

[Bonniec]

I have a 12 y/o Autistic DSS who is a wanderer, normally either his dad or my 14 y/o DS take him to the bathroom, but when he lived 4 hours from us and I did a majority of the driving while his dad was at work occasionally the need would arise for us both to use the restroom and it was just the two of us. There was no way was I going to let him go in the mens room while I was in the ladies room and no one waiting on him. We went in together and I put him in a stall beside me. I was not letting him get loose at a rest area! It is a chore to catch him when he gets away from you and I am not physically able. If he doesn't have to go and I do, he has to come in with me and keep his toes under the edge of the middle of my door and face it. No moving around allowed.

See this is what I'm talking about. I would never, ever judge because you have no idea why the child is in there. I think people seem to forget that there are a lot of people with special needs. You can't always tell what a child's issues are just by looking at them. I hope no one has ever given you grief or dirty looks over it. Some of these attitudes are scary. You do what you gotta do!

 

[robinb]

That was a teen boy and in the pool!!! there were thousands of people there, hardly the bathroom and all that happened to the kid was he was touched, hardly molested.

How is it any different? I don't understand. The teen was not hurt they were touched, no damage. Seriously how is it any different if you are just touched if you are 13 or you are 18?

Please explain?

Yikes. I have to say that I think groping *is* molestation. It's certainly not as hardcore as other types of molestation like rape, but it is still damaging to the victim. I simply cannot agree with your "no harm, no foul" argument because I believe there is harm. Especially to a teenager. The difference between 13 and 18 is an older teen has more of an ability to handle the molester themselves. A 13 year old may not have the same tools that an older teen does. Does that mean that I would avoid pools or dress my 12-year old DD in a swim burqa? Nope. But I would not hesitate to report a molester ... I certainly would not "let it go" and ignore a man or woman who groped my DD!

I have a 12 y/o Autistic DSS who is a wanderer, normally either his dad or my 14 y/o DS take him to the bathroom, but when he lived 4 hours from us and I did a majority of the driving while his dad was at work occasionally the need would arise for us both to use the restroom and it was just the two of us. There was no way was I going to let him go in the mens room while I was in the ladies room and no one waiting on him. We went in together and I put him in a stall beside me. I was not letting him get loose at a rest area! It is a chore to catch him when he gets away from you and I am not physically able. If he doesn't have to go and I do, he has to come in with me and keep his toes under the edge of the middle of my door and face it. No moving around allowed.

No one has a problem with kids with special needs going to the bathroom with their parents. I also think that a rest area mens room is a whole 'nother animal than a WDW mens room!

 

[princessmom29]

And I'm not talking about a 10 year old. Not specifically at least I will admit I really have no idea how old 10 years old is. I'm talking about a child that cannot be trusted to behave alone that others may determine to be too old to be in the wrong rest room

That could well be the 10 year old. I a have an almost 8 year old DD and the boy I caught peeking at me was at least her age, I suspect he was a bit older.
Basically that situation as I see it is that Mom would never consider taking him into the stall, he's too old for that. Yet she is willing to subject the rest of us to the same embarassment becuase she is not willing to cut the strings and let him grow up a little. This contributes to the poor behaior as well. He has been babied all his life, so those are the expectations he lives up to. Had he been allowedto achieve and age appropiate level of maturity andresponsibility for himself, none of this would be an issue and he would be in the mens room.

 

[princessmom29]

OMG, I'm so glad you aren't my mother!! How can you say that?

Oh son, so what if some pervert grabbed your willy wacker? No one cares that you were embarrassed in front of all those people at the water park. And all those years your teachers taught you to never let strangers touch you in your special places...just ignore that. Let them touch you whenever and wherever they want. No big deal.

I don't see what he is saying this way at all. I see it as you cannot let one incident consume your entire life. It is not that no one cares, but part of our job as parents it to teach our kids how to let the bad things go and move on. That in no way means what happened is OK and should be allowed to happen again, but it does mean that we shouldn't let it rule our lives and control our every move form now on. The offender has won if we allow that.

 

[sydneysmom]

wow....this thread sure took on a whole big right turn down "holy cow avenue"!!! it went from an innocent question about using the restroom to America's Most Wanted.

 

[JimmyPicker]

I don't see what he is saying this way at all. I see it as you cannot let one incident consume your entire life. It is not that no one cares, but part of our job as parents it to teach our kids how to let the bad things go and move on. That in no way means what happened is OK and should be allowed to happen again, but it does mean that we shouldn't let it rule our lives and control our every move form now on. The offender has won if we allow that.

I don't read it that way at all. They said, "if all the guy did was grope him..." which to me indicates that they think it's no big deal.