Glad I Did
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Have an at home wedding. There are two major reasons why I am thankful for this. For $10,000, we had a wedding with 85 people in attendance (that's including everything we paid for for the wedding, like my dress, jewelry, tux, etc.). Those numbers would have been impossible with Disney, and I know certain friends and family members wouldn't have made the trip anyway. It was amazing to be able to have so much support from those 85 people so I wouldn't have wanted any less. Even though Disney is so magical and the pics are stunning on here, I also don't know if I could deal with some of the bad customer service some brides are given with Disney. Even waiting to hear back about questions for several weeks would have been driving me crazy (I really need to be in control of stuff like this). So perhaps a vow renewal someday at Disney, with less pressure, but I'm actually really glad I didn't choose it for my wedding.
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Use a florist. I was originally thinking about ordering flowers wholesale and putting the bouquets together myself. Seeing now how stressful and crazy everything was the day before, I cannot even imagine doing that. So while it cost me an extra $300 for flowers then I originally intended to pay, I think it was money well spent (and the flowers were beautiful, much better than I could have done on my own!).
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Have a super short, generic ceremony. I love it when people write their own vows, but I never would have been able to do it. I didn't think I would be as nervous as I was for the ceremony, but I was more nervous than I'd ever been in my life. If the ceremony had been really long or I had to actually say things instead of just repeat them, I might have passed out!
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Invite my Norwegian pen pal I obviously never expected him to come all the way from Norway, but thought he might like to see the Save the Dates and invitations anyway. And then he planned a trip so he could be there! That really meant a lot to me and I know I have a friend for life, even if he's halfway around the world.
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Hire the DJ that I did. He was amazing! I gave him maybe 5 or 6 songs I definitely wanted him to play and told him my general tastes, and left the rest up to him. I like country music but am aware that a lot of people don't, and I wanted all my guests to be happy and dancing. The DJ played a perfect mix of country for me and other stuff - and still played tons of songs that I know and love. It was like he had raided my Ipod or something for every song that I like.
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A Disney honeymoon! Enough said.
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Dance and have a good time. We managed to make the rounds and greet everyone, but I'm really glad that I also spent time just having a few drinks and dancing with my guests. It was absolutely the most fun night of my life.
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Wear a veil! I was on the fence about it originally but I love how it looks in the pictures.
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Ask Jason's cousin to fill in as a bridesmaid. She was 14 at the time and super excited to be in it. We've grown really close in the past year and now we're pretty tight, so I'm really, really happy she could be a part of my special day.
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Ask my best friend to be my Maid of Honor. I knew that she was definitely the person closest to me, and if I needed someone to talk to it would be her. I'm most open and comfortable with her. But first of all I was worried my sister might be offended if I didn't ask her (she wasn't, she was actually flattered to even be asked to be a bridesmaid!), and worried that my best friend wouldn't be able to help much from Pittsburgh (she was amazing, was able to organize everything she had to do and we had weekly phone chats that really helped lift my spirits when things were stressful).
* I had an amazing wedding so I'm sure there are a million more things that I am glad I did, but those are the highlights for me. If anyone has any questions about anything specifically that I did and what I thought about it, feel free to ask!
Wish I Did
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Use a limo or car service. I'm actually not 100% sure if I would do this again, given the cost, but I would have at least looked into it and tried to find a deal. It ended up working out fine - my sister and brother had no problems driving - but it took forever to organize ahead of time (who's going to drive? Who will be in what car? Once everyone's drunk, how will we get them back to the hotel?). Plus, one of my BM's insisted on driving herself, even though I had arranged everything so only two people would have to drive. So she took her own car with her date and got lost on the way to the picture taking spot, and lost on the way to the reception (everyone else from the bridal party got there around 5:30, she didn't show up til 6:10 and it was supposed to start at 6). I think if we had a limo she would have felt obligated to come with us, which I would have appreciated.
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Told the DJ that I wanted the father/daughter and mother/son dances in the beginning. I guess I just assumed that's when they would be, but he did them right before dessert. I would have preferred to do it earlier, plus my dad had had a few drinks by then so it wasn't quite as sentimental as it could have been!
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Wait to ask my bridal party. We did it about a year out and while that doesn't seem excessive, I think if I had waited a few more months I would have seen more clearly who really belonged there.
Glad I Didn't
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Use a videographer. Obviously if I could get one for free I would want one, but given the costs it doesn't seem worth it to me and I don't miss it. We have video of the ceremony from the church (not great, but it's still there!), and I treasure still pictures more anyway.
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Have a Disney wedding (see above)
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Wear pierced earrings. I get a pretty bad infection from wearing pierced earrings now, but I really love earrings and wanted to wear them for pictures and the wedding. I hate the look of clip ons, so we experimented with magnets on the back of a pair. That ended up working exactly for its purpose. I lost one once dancing began and ended up taking the other one off, but as they were pretty cheap it doesn't bother me.
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Stress about the guests that didn't come. I had a lot of people absolutely promise they would come, only to back out at the last minute. It was extremely hurtful to me, and I unfortunately think differently about some people given the way they handled the situation. But I refused to worry about it on the day and that was a big relief.
Wish I Didn't
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Use the church's wedding coordinator. She was free, and I didn't want to burden a friend or family member with that responsibility, but she was awful. She was rude and screwed things up in the beginning of the ceremony. She didn't allow time for the aisle runners to do down so the bridesmaids and groomsmen came out at different times, and only one aisle runner was placed (we had two aisles). She also sent the ring bearers down way too early. And then she was lecturing the girls
as they were walking down the aisle to keep their shoulders up, walk slowly, etc. It was just a nightmare and my least favorite thing about my wedding.
* This is really sad, but...
ask one of my friends to be a bridesmaid. She wasn't necessarily bad, she just didn't add anything or do anything. She barely came to the wedding and missed most or all of the events leading up to it. I barely saw her at all that weekend. She also didn't try to reach out to me at any point during the planning - didn't call to see how things were going, would take weeks to respond to emails, etc. And she hasn't really contacted me since the wedding, except to write on my facebook wall one time. So it makes me a little sad occasionally to look at the pictures that she's in because they remind me of a lost friend.