overweight people who constantly eat out

[Christine]

Also I'm so tired of every opinion being called "judgmental". How about it just being a human reaction?

I've been getting that vibe lately on the DIS. No one is allowed to vent a negative opinion anymore on the DIS. No more vents, apparently, say the Sensitivity Police. I get that people don't have to agree with the "vent" opinions and they should be allowed to say that, but people seem so defensive about everything lately and god forbid, as you say, anyone has a reaction that sounds harsh. As long as they are not confronting the person and making them feel awful, then why can't someone who frets about seeing negative things, say so?

 

[lauradis]

Unfortunately 'nutritionists' nowadays get their conferences sponsored by McDonalds and Coke (I kid you not). And these sponsors get to hand out pamphlets with all sorts of helpful info such as Frito Lay helping out by telling them if they have clients with gluten allergies that they can use crushed Fritos instead of breadcrumbs. I know one big annual conference no longer allows photos in the exhibition hall because they don't want the general public to learn how all these processed food manufacturers are misleading nutritionists.

So true, but sad.

I've been getting that vibe lately on the DIS. No one is allowed to vent a negative opinion anymore on the DIS. No more vents, apparently, say the Sensitivity Police. I get that people don't have to agree with the "vent" opinions and they should be allowed to say that, but people seem so defensive about everything lately and got forbid, as you say, anyone has a reaction that sounds harsh. As long as they are confronting the person and making them feel awful, then why can't someone who frets about seeing negative things, say so?

That vibe has been on the dis for so long.

op I was just wondering what the respondes would be If you where venting about your friend killing them self with evil smoking, instead of death by cheeseburger.

 

[phorsenuf]

Also I'm so tired of every opinion being called "judgmental". How about it just being a human reaction?

I'll own the judgmental remark I made. Just as the OP has a right to express her opinion about her friends weight, I have the right to express mine, which is I felt she was being judgmental. Am I sensitive to the issue?, nope, doesn't bother me in the least if that's how someone chooses to live their life. It's theirs, not mine. If going out to eat all the time, and gaining weight due to it and it makes them happy, then who am I to think they shouldn't do it. I feel the same about smoking, drinking and any other vice people may have.
Guess I am just too easy going compared to so many others here, but it is what it is. I like to think I walk much easier that way.

 

[lovemygoofy]

OP, are you the person that won't take your blood pressure medicine? How does that make you any different? If your blood pressure is too high or you start having medical complications from the bp and you won't take your medicine, what is the difference in someone eating all the wrong foods?

 

[mhfrau]

I eat very healthy and we rarely go out to dinner, maybe once a month. I go for walks everyday, do some of a few workout dvds that I have. I am in my 50's and my BMI is 21. I feel like I live a healthy lifestyle and really enjoy food and dont feel deprived at all.

OP, I'm sorry, but this is such a brag thread I bet your fat relative is extremely impressed that you eat very healthy and rarely go out to dinner. I bet they marvel at the fact that you walk everyday and do workout dvds. I bet that they go on the internet to tell the world that THEY have a relative who is in their 50's and that their BMI is 21! Of course, it is much more likely that they are just enjoying their own life and not giving what you are doing a second thought.

Yes, you absolutely have a right to your opinion, but come on, just put it out there, own it and say, "Geez, I've got this fat relative that eats out all the time and it just bugs the ever-lovin' crap out of me!" And incidentally, I just loved the "elephant in the room" metaphor... excellent visual when you are expressing faux concern over your fat relative.

 

[CaliBear]

Oh please, someone asked a question and she answered and now she's accused of bragging?

OP, I don't think you came across as judgmental. My father isn't overweight at all, but I was quite concerned when he started eating canned soup every day. I taught him to make a few home made soups. I know he doesn't cook from scratch every day, but he does so more now, and I feel happy about that. I don't think I was being judgmental for showing concern for my father's health. Otoh, it's different when there's a weight problem and the message is harder to take under those circumstances so saying anything is probably not a good idea, as I'm sure you know.

And yes, people who eat at home all the time can also be fat, but obviously eating out all the time isn't good for you just as eating processed food at home is not. These are facts.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

OP, I'm sorry, but this is such a brag thread I bet your fat relative is extremely impressed that you eat very healthy and rarely go out to dinner. I bet they marvel at the fact that you walk everyday and do workout dvds. I bet that they go on the internet to tell the world that THEY have a relative who is in their 50's and that their BMI is 21! Of course, it is much more likely that they are just enjoying their own life and not giving what you are doing a second thought. Yes, you absolutely have a right to your opinion, but come on, just put it out there, own it and say, "Geez, I've got this fat relative that eats out all the time and it just bugs the ever-lovin' crap out of me!" And incidentally, I just loved the "elephant in the room" metaphor... excellent visual when you are expressing faux concern over your fat relative.

Can't see as how it would be bragging considering the fact that despite her bmi, diet and exercise she's still unhealthy as she has high blood pressure that she refuses to treat because she thinks it is only related to caffeine consumption. After all somebody with her bmi couldn't possible be unhealthy @@

 

[mhfrau]

Oh please, someone asked a question and she answered and now she's accused of bragging?

OP, I don't think you came across as judgmental. My father isn't overweight at all, but I was quite concerned when he started eating canned soup every day. I taught him to make a few home made soups. I know he doesn't cook from scratch every day, but he does so more now, and I feel happy about that. I don't think I was being judgmental for showing concern for my father's health. Otoh, it's different when there's a weight problem and the message is harder to take under those circumstances so saying anything is probably not a good idea, as I'm sure you know.

And yes, people who eat at home all the time can also be fat, but obviously eating out all the time isn't good for you just as eating processed food at home is not. These are facts.

Well, first of all, the OP didn't ask a question. She came here to voice how "upsetting " it was that her relative was fat, but loved to tell tales of getting great deals at restaurants, and apparently had a doctor that gave meds for physical issues because he didn't want to talk about "the elephant in the room". That wasn't bragging at all. IMHO, that was the start of the false concern post that people here so love to make and comment on because it makes them feel so great about how awesome they themselves are. The bragging came in when the OP needed to give us all her own personal statistics detailing how she was in fabulous shape because she was super responsible about her own habits.

For the record, I am very impressed that she is in that great of shape in her 50's. I'm pushing 50 myself, and I just ate a calorie ridden piece of tiramisu last night, sat on my butt and watched a movie with my family, while watching cellulite sprout on my sun-burned thighs But I just had blood work done and I have a cholesterol level of 156, (that was bragging, lol), low triglycerides, (more bragging, lol) and perfect blood pressure, and I'm not on any medications... but I'm about 20 pounds overweight right now just because I currently am not overly concerned about it. But, I hope my fat gives someone else something to be "upset" about in my family. I do what I can to help a brother or sister out

 

[lauradis]

Can't see as how it would be bragging considering the fact that despite her bmi, diet and exercise she's still unhealthy as she has high blood pressure that she refuses to treat because she thinks it is only related to caffeine consumption. After all somebody with her bmi couldn't possible be unhealthy @@

Or could it be the facts that us medical data keeps lowering the numbers for healthy levels, but most of europe doesnt?

lots of factors we dont know. If your boarder line "high blood pressure" do you chance taking pills long term to kill a different vital organ?

 

[ellone]

My nutritionist is a certified diabetes educator as well. A salad with grilled chicken from McDonald's with water or a Diet Coca-Cola to drink fits in fine with my diet plan. I'd suggest you do without the breading of any kind.

I think you missed my point. If a dietician is getting their continuing education from their annual meetings which are sponsored by McDonalds and Coke, do you really think they are learning that McDonalds and Coke are bad for you? No, they are not. They learn that you can eat so and so and be fine. It's a conflict of interest.

 

[nicolita3]

OP, are you the person that won't take your blood pressure medicine? How does that make you any different? If your blood pressure is too high or you start having medical complications from the bp and you won't take your medicine, what is the difference in someone eating all the wrong foods?

Totally agree

 

[Christine]

Well, first of all, the OP didn't ask a question. She came here to voice how "upsetting " it was that her relative was fat, but loved to tell tales of getting great deals at restaurants, and apparently had a doctor that gave meds for physical issues because he didn't want to talk about "the elephant in the room". That wasn't bragging at all. IMHO, that was the start of the false concern post that people here so love to make and comment on because it makes them feel so great about how awesome they themselves are. The bragging came in when the OP needed to give us all her own personal statistics detailing how she was in fabulous shape because she was super responsible about her own habits.

For the record, I am very impressed that she is in that great of shape in her 50's. I'm pushing 50 myself, and I just ate a calorie ridden piece of tiramisu last night, sat on my butt and watched a movie with my family, while watching cellulite sprout on my sun-burned thighs But I just had blood work done and I have a cholesterol level of 156, (that was bragging, lol), low triglycerides, (more bragging, lol) and perfect blood pressure, and I'm not on any medications... but I'm about 20 pounds overweight right now just because I currently am not overly concerned about it. But, I hope my fat gives someone else something to be "upset" about in my family. I do what I can to help a brother or sister out

Bragging? Really? Stating facts about your physical statistics on a thread related to obesity is bragging because they happen to be favorable? I guess now we can only post things if they are self-deprecating versus the facts of the situation. That's what it seems these threads always come down to. If you're doing well, you better not say. And the OP didn't even state that in the first post. She only stated it when a poster SPECIFICALLY asked her what her eating habits were like, which was probably NOT asked out of idle curiousity in the first place.

I get where the OP is coming from. It has to be pretty frustrating to have someone you are close with complain about their ailments/weight/health issues yet do nothing to move in the right direction towards fixing it. It's hard to stand by quietly sometimes. But she is. I don't mind that she lets it out here.

 

[ez]

wow, my blood pressure today was 121 over 80. I will consult with my doctor when I see him in a few weeks if I need medicine and will explore options. I think I am being diligent in taking my blood pressure several times a day and seeing that its come down to a normal range. You people seem kind of mean on this board, I really dont remember it being like this years ago. Sorry that I am afraid to lose a loved one..... I dont see how you can criticize me for being proactive about my own health but whatever....this loved one I am concerned about is my own mother btw

 

[bdcp]

Well, first of all, the OP didn't ask a question. She came here to voice how "upsetting " it was that her relative was fat, but loved to tell tales of getting great deals at restaurants, and apparently had a doctor that gave meds for physical issues because he didn't want to talk about "the elephant in the room". That wasn't bragging at all. IMHO, that was the start of the false concern post that people here so love to make and comment on because it makes them feel so great about how awesome they themselves are. The bragging came in when the OP needed to give us all her own personal statistics detailing how she was in fabulous shape because she was super responsible about her own habits.

For the record, I am very impressed that she is in that great of shape in her 50's. I'm pushing 50 myself, and I just ate a calorie ridden piece of tiramisu last night, sat on my butt and watched a movie with my family, while watching cellulite sprout on my sun-burned thighs But I just had blood work done and I have a cholesterol level of 156, (that was bragging, lol), low triglycerides, (more bragging, lol) and perfect blood pressure, and I'm not on any medications... but I'm about 20 pounds overweight right now just because I currently am not overly concerned about it. But, I hope my fat gives someone else something to be "upset" about in my family. I do what I can to help a brother or sister out

Sounds like you got lucky in the genetics department. I know plenty of women in their 50's who workout, eat well, etc who have high cholesterol and blood pressure and their Dr's all say the same thing, bad luck in the genetics department. BTW, even someone with low cholesterol numbers can have a heart attack, especially if it's in their genetics.

Anyway, I think people need to realize that you can't save some people from themselves and you have to let them make their own choices/changes. The only thing I told DH when he was diagnosed Type II was that he had to make the changes and learn how to control it because it's his responsibility. What he did learn was that he can eat anything, but moderation and good choices are what works.

 

[Caradana]

This thread makes it crystal clear to me why psychiatry is the #1 most in demand and highly paid profession in my state ...

I will say this. To be fat stinks. Beyond the proven health risks, the world judges, it holds many back in the workplace and in dating, the clothing selection is much narrower, the sweating, the aches and pains ... the psychology of overeating has to be so so strong and insidious to rationally outweigh all that.

 

[Christine]

wow, my blood pressure today was 121 over 80. I will consult with my doctor when I see him in a few weeks if I need medicine and will explore options. I think I am being diligent in taking my blood pressure several times a day and seeing that its come down to a normal range. You people seem kind of mean on this board, I really dont remember it being like this years ago. Sorry that I am afraid to lose a loved one..... I dont see how you can criticize me for being proactive about my own health but whatever....this loved one I am concerned about is my own mother btw

There's always been an element of this on the DIS, but I've certainly seen it in full force over the last week with people getting really out of sorts when some "complains."

OP, if it was just a friend or somewhat distant relative, I would not say a word. My mother and I have a good relationship, so yeah, we'd be talking about her restaurant habits especially if we were having lots of routine talks about health. It would be along the lines of "eating out all the time is not helping you, it's hurting you--what can I do to help you?" If that comes down to fixing her some healthful meals so they are at the ready for her, then do it.

Also, you probably should have stated in your original post that it was your mother and that you were well aware of all her health issues. Why did you leave that out and leave it ambiguous? It's somewhat "nosy" to be fretting over friends in this regard, different story if it's your mom.

 

[LuvGoofy6]

My doctor brings up a 5 pound weight gain for me but a friend of mine is 100 pounds overweight and he doesn't say a word to her (same doctor). I know he doesn't say anything to her because when I talk to her about my appointment and tell her that he commented on the weight gain she tells me her weight is never discussed. Definitely, hit or miss with doctors

 

[LuvGoofy6]

I've been getting that vibe lately on the DIS. No one is allowed to vent a negative opinion anymore on the DIS. No more vents, apparently, say the Sensitivity Police. I get that people don't have to agree with the "vent" opinions and they should be allowed to say that, but people seem so defensive about everything lately and god forbid, as you say, anyone has a reaction that sounds harsh. As long as they are not confronting the person and making them feel awful, then why can't someone who frets about seeing negative things, say so?

I agree with this. What amazes me is that some people get slammed for opinions but there are people who are downright mean in what they write and people let that go more than the opinions.

 

[Hrhpd]

never mind

 

[lauradis]

I agree with this. What amazes me is that some people get slammed for opinions but there are people who are downright mean in what they write and people let that go more than the opinions.

We have dis bully problem for sure