What should I expect different in the South?

[deserrai]

From what I understand, it's a totally different world. At least that's what I get from conversations here.

And eventually thing thread will turn into an argument about Southern manners. This always happens.

Yup...

 

[Pamlur]

I have had friends who have moved from the Midwest or "up North" to the South, and couldn't get over the overt friendliness they encountered. There was a poster on these boards who made the move and had to completely reeducate her children; as in, you DO speak to strangers when they speak to you. It is 100% common to strike up conversations with total strangers at the drop of a hat, and stop for a while to carry on that conversation. I have had young checkout people include me in a conversation they were having when it was my turn to check my groceries out. That is just the South.

On the flip side, a friend and I were on a city bus in New York City many years ago; we were obviously NOT from that area, and lost "as a goose" on where we were going. Every other passenger in our vicinity was incredibly friendly and helpful. We didn't encounter a single unpleasant Yankee that day.

And "Bless Your Heart" goes several ways. The more sarcastic version is really used less often than the others.

 

[tajz90]

Invest in duct tape and be ready to wave at complete strangers

Moving south isn't necessarily the deep south.

 

[Myothername]

In general we in the South are polite, always polite. We say please and thank you and, yes, Bless Your Heart. Now some have said when we say Bless Your Heart it is not a compliment. It isn't but it is just our way of saying you stupid idiot. For instance, Sue Ellen made potato salad with Hellman's mayonnaise instead of Blue Plate or Dukes, bless her heart.

We talk, all the time. Like a previous poster said if you are in a waiting room or line at Starbucks someone is bound to strike up a conversation with you. And be prepared to be asked "Where you from?"

We wave, at everyone. I have a cousin from Indiana and she could not understand why everyone in the south waved at her. It is just a friendly thing we do.

Eat the local food. Red beans and rice are wonderful usually but get a recommendation of a good place to get them. Same with fried catfish although most catfish restaurants wouldn't be in business long if they didn't do it right. Hushpuppies and cole slaw have to be served with it.

When you ask for a soft drink, ask for a coke. Coke can be Dr. Pepper, Sprite or Orange but they are all called coke.

Next summer, dress in the lightest and arriest clothes you can manage. Drink lots of water and try to stay indoors. If you live in a hurricane zone research what you will need beginning June 1. But don't stress over it. You will have several day's notice of a storm.

 

[minkydog]

I agree with where are you moving to rural Alabama or Birmingham? I moved from rural Mississippi to East Texas. Both are South but both are definitely different. and yet there are things alike.
My friends kids call me Ms. Shanan

I agree. I lived in the VA Tidewater area as a kid, then the Mississippi Gulf Coast and rural Alabama as a teen, through college. I moved to Atlanta as a young adult. All four places had/have very different cultures.

*Atlanta is a melting pot where you will be hard pressed to find a native of the area. There are lots of people here who come from other countries, too; there are least 140 languages spoken in the area. Most people are friendly and out-going, not very clannish.

*When I lived in rural Alabama, people were nice to a fault. There was exactly one person from another country who lived in our town. I didn't meet any other foreigners until I went to college.

**Tidewater Virginia is remarkable for the local Navy, Coast Guard, and Army bases. People from all over the nation live there, at least for awhile. There's a saying in the area, "Join the Navy and see Norfolk!"

 

[SC Minnie]

Invest in duct tape and be ready to wave at complete strangers

Moving south isn't necessarily the deep south.

DH moved here from Cleveland. When we were dating we were going somewhere in the small town I lived in. People kept doing the slight wave from the steering wheel. He asked me who all these people were and was shocked when I said I had no idea.

 

[luvsJack]

Not sure what part of the south some of you are from or are talking about but "bless your heart" isn't always an insult. Sometimes it really does mean "bless your heart". Other times it doesn't mean that at all. It takes some time to figure out the difference but there is a difference.

A true southern lady with impeccable manners would never use "bless your heart" as an insult and she would never use "yankee" as a way to criticize. You would never have an inkling of a clue if she truly had a bad thought about you because she isn't going to show it. At all. (I am NOT a true southern lady with impeccable manners, btw. )

The south is just a region of the country. We have people who have good ol' "southern" manners, and we have a lot that don't. We have people who value their slower paced lives and we have those that like a faster pace and live it.

The food is wonderful. But it isn't the same in all of the south. Along the gulf you have shrimp, oysters, fish, and yes crawfish (which is really good, if you haven't tried it you should), gumbo, jambalaya and all those wonderful dishes that came out of NOLA . Other parts have catfish as their biggest "sea" food which is actually normally raised on a catfish farm and there are a lot of those in the Delta. Fried chicken and homemade biscuits--YUM. Red beans and rice can be as different as night and day in different areas. Its really big in NOLA and can be spicy. Here its not so spicy, somewhere else it will different still. Grandma's pecan pie or sweet potato pie is usually out of this world. And yes grits are served with breakfast at any sit down restaurant. They are also served with shrimp on a dinner menu and are fantastic! And dumplings! OMG! Big, light, fluffy balls of wonderfulness!

We have dinner at grandma's every week or some other matriarch of the family. And Sunday dinner is the mid-day meal, eaten after church.

We love sweet tea. But we do also drink Coke and we don't really think you are strange if you don't drink sweet tea, just don't tell us you don't like it.

You will be asked where you go to church more than where do you live or where do your kids go to school. Many times its one of the first questions asked. This is not an assumption that you should be in church or that everyone believes the same, its just that everyone we know goes to church somewhere and usually with someone we already know.

If you are asked if you are going to the game that week---its football and its high school. Everyone goes to the high school football game on Friday nights. Its just a southern thing. Oh, and we also either attend or watch the SEC game on Saturday and have tail-gating parties to go with them. And on Sunday afternoon, the Saints (or other pro-team from a southern city, but HERE it is always the Saints) game will be on in the den. Football is like a religion in the south. Its just is, go with it.


The m'am and sir thing is, indeed, used by everyone. If you have children, they will be expected to use these terms in school. Regardless of what you think or have been taught, it is seen as a show of respect. I am NOT saying its the only way to show respect, but I am saying that it is seen that way by most. Really no reason to fight it.

And yes, please, please, please, do not come here and tell us that our way of doing things is wrong. It may be different than other regions, but that's ok. We like the south and all her quirks so either love it or leave it. That's really the only two choices you have and we don't really want to hear it.

 

[trip]

big ol' bows & smocked dresses, if you have a daughter under the age of 6.
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Still? It was like that when we were stationed in Alabama in the late 80's. Some local phrases will sound strange to your "Yankee" ears but you will get used to them. The one the drove me crazy was "fixin" like the "bell is fixing to ring". My DDs used to say this around me because they knew it bothered me.

We lived in several locations before my DH retired from the AF. It usually takes a full year to fully understand how things work in a new area - how the school system works/how dance studios work/how sports' teams are selected/where to shop. Keep your eyes and ears open and it won't take long for it to feel like home. As far as the weather - lots of places are hot with high humidity. It's not really that bad.

 

[wenmc]

Deleted

 

[luvsJack]

Oh, I forgot about funeral processions. You stop for them. You pull over and stop. And on the highway you do not pass the funeral procession. Just stay back. I was surprised when I realized that this is not done everywhere.

 

[Minnesota!]

They are fanatical about SEC football. I grew up in the Midwest and I understand liking football (Big 10). I also lived in South Bend for several years which was over the top about Notre Dame.

However, nothing prepared me for the SEC football obsession.

I still don't get it...hanging my head in shame.

I was just telling DH last week that I would love to visit somewhere that gets so geeked out on college game day. I bet the air is electric!

Oh, I forgot about funeral processions. You stop for them. You pull over and stop. And on the highway you do not pass the funeral procession. Just stay back. I was surprised when I realized that this is not done everywhere.

Done in MN...it surprises me that it isn't a common-place behavior!

Enjoy your move, OP!! I would love such a change of pace. Not gonna happen for a long while, though...

 

[crazelion]

If ask where something is at. Please be prepare to drive miles on end. Just because. say down street is not.

Down South we do not have very many chains restaurants at all. We have more mom and pop restaurants. We have some best food that have come from mop and pop restaurants.

Sweet Tea and Lemonade is given Ask me for ice tea I will look at strange

Football is religion SEC Football is different animal

 

[NewRVLady]

OP here! Northern Ohio to Southern Alabama! We are very excited but nervous..

One of my absolute fave Cute town area is Goodhope AL on the east bank of the bay south of Mobile...

 

[plutotek]

One of my absolute fave Cute town area is Goodhope AL on the east bank of the bay south of Mobile...

Do you mean Fairhope? I ask because Good Hope is north of Birmingham and it's not really that cute.

 

[3 MEN AND A BOAT]

OP here! Northern Ohio to Southern Alabama! We are very excited but nervous..

Well one difference you'll notice is when it does on the rare occasion snow, the entire state shuts down.

 

[chiefmickeymouse]

I've lived all over, but my family is from North Carolina. I really don't find the south all that different. The blue laws caught me off guard when I wanted to buy wine on a Sunday, but those vary from county to county. Oh, and church, everything revolves around church. Most of the people we met when we lived in South Carolina were pretty neighborly. It should be very pretty in Alabama, I'm sure you will enjoy it!

 

[MomofKatie]

OP here! Northern Ohio to Southern Alabama! We are very excited but nervous..

You are going WAY down South, bless your heart!

I think of "yankee" and "bless your heart" this way- nobody with good manners will say you are a Yankee to your face. That's just bad manners. But if you have an ugly attitude about being from the North, you might be called a Yankee behind your back. Same thing with "bless your heart". If you have good manners and you tell someone bless your heart to their face, it is meant as a sincere term of sympathy or commiseration. Now, well bred southerners have no problem talking behind your back, and it might mean something more snarky: "Can you believe Tiffani wore cutoffs and flip flops to church? Bless her heart, she looked like a bum!"

If you want iced tea, you can get it any day of the year. But you WILL get sweet tea unless you specifically ask for Unsweet.

Strangers will strike up conversations with you everywhere you go. Everyone waves to each other.

You will be asked where you go to church. If you don't go or haven't found a church yet, you will be invited repeatedly to go to whichever church the speaker goes to.

Adults are called ma'am, sir, or by Mr/Miss First Name. Children do not call adults Mr/Mrs/Miss Last Name (except teachers).

Southern Alabama is really into Mardi Gras, as much as New Orleans. It is a really fun time of year.

You will start to use "southernisms" like y'all, fixin' to, and buggy (instead of shopping cart).

People will tell you to have a "blessed day". You will be wished "Merry Christmas", not "Happy holidays". People are very upfront about their religion (in the South, usually Baptist, Methodist or Church of God or some other Pentecostal denomination). If you aren't religious, be prepared to have people try to talk you into going to church.

Football (college, SEC in particular) is big in Alabama. Huge. Massive. You will be expected to choose either Alabama or Auburn as your team. Friendships might be affected by your choice. Did I mention football is big in Alabama? I cannot overstate this.

Most of Alabama is still very Old South compared to the "New South" of Atlanta, Nashville, Dallas, or Charlotte. Not many folks leave the little towns they were born in. Not many people from somewhere else settle there. People are very nice, but you might encounter the "old boys' network" that makes it hard to break into the country club, or get a promotion, etc.

Kids will be expected to attend manners and deportment classes around middle school age. This will probably be called Cotillion and it is a Big Thing for the middle and upper middle classes. If your kids don't participate, they might not be considered for cheerleading, student government, or other "popularity" based activities in high school.

Overall, living Down South is great, but there are some things that will seem strange- and there are some things that ARE strange. You will come to love most of it, and learn to live with other things.

 

[taylor3297]

Well one difference you'll notice is when it does on the rare occasion snow, the entire state shuts down.

Yep, we do and I get so tired of hearing well back home we don't close shut down etc. It gets old. Just realize we don't invest in a lot of snow removal equipment as it doesn't snow that often and we tend to get lots of ice. So just enjoy everything being shut down for a bit. The snow/ice usually is gone in a day or two.

Southern Alabama is one of my favorite places. My sister and her family live in Spanish Fort and they love it.

 

[EMom]

Y'all
Bless her heart

Food, everything is fried, or most everything...if that's to your liking, I guess it "Can't be beat" but not everyone likes "crawdads"

What part of the South do you live in that fries most of their food? Because I was born and raised here and don't find that to be accurate. We like our fried chicken, true....on occasion. But they fry "fried chicken" up north too.

 

[marmalade]

Kids will be expected to attend manners and deportment classes around middle school age. This will probably be called Cotillion and it is a Big Thing for the middle and upper middle classes. If your kids don't participate, they might not be considered for cheerleading, student government, or other "popularity" based activities in high school.

This part really bothers me.