A pediatrician vent!!!!

[JanaDee]

If your daughter is active and healthy, I wouldn't be the least bit worried about 7 lbs. Find a new doctor.

 

[mjkacmom]

I am sorry, but this just bugs me to no end. Why on earth are doctors so concerned about young children being "overweight"? Are they active? Are they eating a balanced diet?

Worry if all they do is sit at home all day in front of a computer, not if they are out bike riding and swinging on swing-sets but aren't tiny little things! After all, these are children, their bodies grow and change, they don't need adult pressures at such a young age, they just need to be children and enjoy life!

Both of my daughters were on the high end of the weight scale when they were young. Our pediatrician told me not to worry about it, the girls were out and about, playing and active, they were fine. He said that if they became ill, you don't have the same fears as if they were underweight and there are no reserves if they stop eating for a few days (abbreviating the conversation here). Of course, this was all over 20 years ago, I suppose times have changed.

My daughters are adults now, but they are healthy, slim, and strong. Being on the high end of the weight charts as young children did not hurt them. Have the kids do some jumping jacks or something in the doctor's office if you want to see if they have any endurance from an active lifestyle, don't subject them to blood work and weight checks, especially not at 4 or 5 years old! Teach the parents. If the parents don't care to help their kids lead a healthy, active lifestyle with good choices, then no amount of weight checks is going to make a difference.

On the flip side, being a skinny kid is not going to mean being a skinny adult (my brother is the prime example of this). Pediatricians are being very short-sighted if they only focus on kids that are young and heavier. I hope the OP finds a pediatrician that looks at the big picture, not just a chart.

Because it's a real problem. Kids today are the first ever to not have a longer lifespan than their elders.

http://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/obesity/facts.htm

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I am sorry, but this just bugs me to no end. Why on earth are doctors so concerned about young children being "overweight"? Are they active? Are they eating a balanced diet?

Worry if all they do is sit at home all day in front of a computer, not if they are out bike riding and swinging on swing-sets but aren't tiny little things! After all, these are children, their bodies grow and change, they don't need adult pressures at such a young age, they just need to be children and enjoy life!

Both of my daughters were on the high end of the weight scale when they were young. Our pediatrician told me not to worry about it, the girls were out and about, playing and active, they were fine. He said that if they became ill, you don't have the same fears as if they were underweight and there are no reserves if they stop eating for a few days (abbreviating the conversation here). Of course, this was all over 20 years ago, I suppose times have changed.

My daughters are adults now, but they are healthy, slim, and strong. Being on the high end of the weight charts as young children did not hurt them. Have the kids do some jumping jacks or something in the doctor's office if you want to see if they have any endurance from an active lifestyle, don't subject them to blood work and weight checks, especially not at 4 or 5 years old! Teach the parents. If the parents don't care to help their kids lead a healthy, active lifestyle with good choices, then no amount of weight checks is going to make a difference.

On the flip side, being a skinny kid is not going to mean being a skinny adult (my brother is the prime example of this). Pediatricians are being very short-sighted if they only focus on kids that are young and heavier. I hope the OP finds a pediatrician that looks at the big picture, not just a chart.

I've actually had the opposite experience for the most part.

My kids eat very healthy. DD would rather eat a pint of blueberries than a bag of chips. Well we've had a few doctors basically tell us to "fatten" the kids up. Extra butter, milkshakes...ect. I'd rather do it the healthy way. When I questioned one of the doctors they used to have(note "used") she finally gave me some good advice on how to get them extra calories. They needed more protein and carbs and that helped immensely! It was like she didn't want to take the time to talk with me about it.

I took them to a specialist that basically said what you did. They are healthy, active kids. They aren't weak and they have a good strong immune system.

I think a lot of doctors are set on these charts. If you're not right where they want you they see an issue where there isn't one.

 

[whatname]

I have been in your same situation. According to the bmi chart, dd is overweight. Not alot, a few pounds. No underlying medical problems. Our ped also wanted weekly weight checks. I felt as you did. I have a scale and I can monitor this on my own and call the office, if I feel we have an issue. I think we went to 1 weight check and then I stopped, explaining I would monitor her weight myself. The staff had no problem with it. We didn't have a copay for the weight check.. We only saw the nurse.

Also, you can't judge weight based on age. DD11 is about 130 pounds, or so. She is also 5'7". The dr. office uses the bmi chart, which I have read really shouldn't be used as a strict measure of overweight or not. A guideline maybe, but not an absolute.

Good luck to you. I know it is frustrating. DD has a healthy diet and is active. Sometimes I think there is something to considering body type.

 

[sam_gordon]

I'm a little confused about the timeline...

You went 4 months ago and they "discovered" the weight issue. Did they draw blood at that appointment? How long after that did you go back for the blood test results? Did they check her weight when you returned?

I'm trying to see if they were working on regular weight checkups (every 4 weeks, every 6 weeks, whatever) so spacing out another 4 weeks isn't really a good option.

If that truly was the doctor's attitude (and not misconstrued or inserted by the receptionist), I would also be looking for a new doctor. However, do you have other options? You said three other pediatricians aren't accepting new patients. Before you sever ties with this doc, I'd make sure you're signed up with someone else.

 

[Hrhpd]

IMO, 7 pounds over is not a big deal. I'd make a few small changes and call it a day. That dr was way out of line and I'd def find another ped after that.

7lbs on a 4 year old would be about 1/5 of her body weight.

However, I agree that the weight would not be an issue if the child is healthy.

But, the doctor must have some other concerns if he ordered a slew a blood tests.

The weight and the blood work suggests that doc is looking for something else besides just a chubby but healthy child.

It probably is pretty important for the OP to bring her child back at the 4 week mark for tracking purposes.

What other reason would he want her to come in? It can't be about money. He will have patients to fill that hole in the cold and flu season.

And did the OP even double check to see if she would be charged a co-pay for the weight check. I know she assumes so, but has she asked?

As in all things on the DIS, I think there is way more of a back story than a the simple story of a pediatrician kicking out a paying patient just because mom doesn't want to come in for a weight check on a healthy, but chubby child.

 

[SmallWorld71]

For starters, if you aren't comfortable there, I would find a new practice. To me, it doesn't matter so much who is at fault in this particular situation. Your DD is still very young and you have many, many visits to a pediatrician ahead of you. You need a place where you trust those who work there. And, that includes the receptionists. As my kids got older, I have actually had far more face time with the front desk, than the actual doctors due to needed camp forms, sports forms etc...

Second, as someone who has always had a "bigger" daughter, I strongly encourage you to look for ways to increase her physical activity. It has been a lifesaver for my daughter.
My DD has always loved her carbs and can out eat a football linebacker many days. When she was younger, we did many different things - trips to the playground, playgroups, t-ball, soccer, walks on the beach etc... to get her moving. She was a child who loved to do things, but also would have been perfectly content if I let her watch TV all day. Eventually, she found a love of dance and that is her main physical activity these days; she dances 5 days a week.
She also has a great self image due to her confidence in her physical abilities and that is so important. So often, our girls with borderline weights, feel the pressure to be skinny as they get older and it's just not who they are. You want your DD to feel good about who she is.

Ironically, her 15 year old brother, who out eats us all, is a toothpick. He's the one the Dr.s are monitoring in our family.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

7 lbs can be a big deal for a 4 year old. If a healthy weight is 40 lbs, that is like an adult carrying an extra 50 lbs. But there are other factors to consider like height, rate of growth/gain, and genetics. While your daughter is most likely healthy, there are conditions that cause weight gain that won't show up in basic bloodwork. For example, Prader Willi syndrome. Not saying your daughter has anything wrong with her, but if she continues to gain weight at a rate that may be unhealthy even with healthy eating and activity then you may need to have more extensive testing.

But I do think the doctor's office handled it wrong and that you should find another doctor. If you don't feel you can have open, honest conversation with the doctor, and you are doubting him, then he isn't the right doctor for you.

 

[Happy Snowman]

I am sorry, but this just bugs me to no end. Why on earth are doctors so concerned about young children being "overweight"? Are they active? Are they eating a balanced diet?

Worry if all they do is sit at home all day in front of a computer, not if they are out bike riding and swinging on swing-sets but aren't tiny little things! After all, these are children, their bodies grow and change, they don't need adult pressures at such a young age, they just need to be children and enjoy life!

Both of my daughters were on the high end of the weight scale when they were young. Our pediatrician told me not to worry about it, the girls were out and about, playing and active, they were fine. He said that if they became ill, you don't have the same fears as if they were underweight and there are no reserves if they stop eating for a few days (abbreviating the conversation here). Of course, this was all over 20 years ago, I suppose times have changed.

My daughters are adults now, but they are healthy, slim, and strong. Being on the high end of the weight charts as young children did not hurt them. Have the kids do some jumping jacks or something in the doctor's office if you want to see if they have any endurance from an active lifestyle, don't subject them to blood work and weight checks, especially not at 4 or 5 years old! Teach the parents. If the parents don't care to help their kids lead a healthy, active lifestyle with good choices, then no amount of weight checks is going to make a difference.

On the flip side, being a skinny kid is not going to mean being a skinny adult (my brother is the prime example of this). Pediatricians are being very short-sighted if they only focus on kids that are young and heavier. I hope the OP finds a pediatrician that looks at the big picture, not just a chart.

Active 4 year olds that eat a healthy diet should NOT be 7 lbs overweight...

 

[Skippy918]

Where is she on the growth curve? You can google search and plot her height weight for the last few measurements and see if she's tracking her current curve. Is she within the proper percentile for height and weight? Our doctor always uses the growth charts and not the BMI calculator. If she's still on her curve, then she should be alright. If she had a significant percentile jump then I can see why the doctor is concerned. She could be due for a growth spurt soon and her height will catch up to her weight. Genetics are a factor too. Good luck!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Active 4 year olds that eat a healthy diet should NOT be 7 lbs overweight...

Why?

I have seen families who eat exactly the same proportionately and they have the one child that I guess lost the genetic lottery and is overweight.

What does it tell the child when they must have a special even healthier diet than the rest of the family?

 

[Disneyland1084]

My DD's weight has fluctuated, and she's growing at the rate she should.

 

[Disneyland1084]

What blood tests did they run? What were they checking for?

Diabetes, high cholesterol, etc..

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

This, I don't understand. If you're short with someone, there's a good chance that someone is going to react in turn. It's human nature.

Yesterday, I saw a specialist. I was seen 65 minutes later than what I was scheduled for. They thanked me for my patience. During my exam, the doctor got pulled out twice. Yes, it was annoying. But I happened to know the doctor, and she shared with me that her two nurses were out and they never got her a replacement, so she was doing her job, and theirs. Wrong? Yes. Did it negatively affect her day? Definitely. She was pretty frazzled. Now this is not an excuse for anyone to be nasty. But when someone's already stressed out, chances are good they're not going to be at their best and it's probably not a good idea to be short with them. And vice versa.

I've had an illness for the past two months where I was feeling pretty lousy. I was on the phone quite a bit with medical staff. A couple of times, conversations didn't go well. I always apologized during the conversation because I knew I was having a bad day. I made it a point of meeting one person who was very nice to me on the phone, and yesterday, in fact, I met the person who I had probably the "biggest" problem with on the phone (but we'd worked it out) and she smiled when she saw me and we had a very nice conversation. I thanked her for all her help. (And she did, ultimately, get what I was trying to say and helped me.)

My point being that it does matter how we speak to people.

It's called customer service.

Any medical establishment that feels it is okay to talk poorly to a patient and set then in their place needs to consider that customer service is part of their duty

So when you apologized for your behavior -- was it only after the office treated you rudely and you felt you deserved their rude conduct?

Because if they returned the attitude, they would have been wrong to do so.

Call me crazy--but I expect that if you work with people, it is your duty to be the bigger person. Does that excuse a patient or customer from mistreating you? No--but unless a threat exists, you handle the person professionally. Reacting poorly is a poor reflection of the customer service and should never be tolerated

I had not been Relocating, I would have left my last OB anyway. A lot had to do with the front desk. There were other reasons. But a polite staff would certainly have gone a long way.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

It's called customer service.

Any medical establishment that feels it is okay to talk poorly to a patient and set then in their place needs to consider that customer service is part of their duty

So when you apologized for your behavior -- was it only after the office treated you rudely and you felt you deserved their rude conduct?

Because if they returned the attitude, they would have been wrong to do so.

Call me crazy--but I expect that if you work with people, it is your duty to be the bigger person. Does that excuse a patient or customer from mistreating you? No--but unless a threat exists, you handle the person professionally. Reacting poorly is a poor reflection of the customer service and should never be tolerated

I had not been Relocating, I would have left my last OB anyway. A lot had to do with the front desk. There were other reasons. But a polite staff would certainly have gone a long way.

I tend to agree.

I understand it's human nature to respond a certain way to rude or nasty people, but if you are a professional you take it for what it is, help them to the best of your ability and move on.

 

[Disneyland1084]

I'm a little confused about the timeline...

You went 4 months ago and they "discovered" the weight issue. Did they draw blood at that appointment? How long after that did you go back for the blood test results? Did they check her weight when you returned?

I'm trying to see if they were working on regular weight checkups (every 4 weeks, every 6 weeks, whatever) so spacing out another 4 weeks isn't really a good option.

If that truly was the doctor's attitude (and not misconstrued or inserted by the receptionist), I would also be looking for a new doctor. However, do you have other options? You said three other pediatricians aren't accepting new patients. Before you sever ties with this doc, I'd make sure you're signed up with someone else.

4 months ago when she was weighed, they ordered some blood tests. I took her somewhere to get it done. We went back to the doctor's about three weeks later when the results came in. I live in a big area with a lot of doctors, so I'm confident I'll be able to find a new one.

 

[Hrhpd]

My DD's weight has fluctuated, and she's growing at the rate she should.

But you haven't answered the question.

Has your daughter's weight gone down since you started implementing a healthier diet and better exercise? Have you seen any change?

If there has not been a change, I would get her to the pediatrician as he asked.

Then, when your new insurance goes through, you can research different pediatricians.

But it is probably pretty important that you work with your current pediatrician until you move practices. While the receptionist may have been rude, the doctor probably still has the best interest of your daughter in mind.

As a parent, I would want to make sure I crossed all possibilities off that there may be some underlying issue before I told a doctor that his concern was a waste of my time.

 

[diznygirl]

7lbs on a 4 year old would be about 1/5 of her body weight.

However, I agree that the weight would not be an issue if the child is healthy.

But, the doctor must have some other concerns if he ordered a slew a blood tests.

The weight and the blood work suggests that doc is looking for something else besides just a chubby but healthy child.

It probably is pretty important for the OP to bring her child back at the 4 week mark for tracking purposes.

What other reason would he want her to come in? It can't be about money. He will have patients to fill that hole in the cold and flu season.

And did the OP even double check to see if she would be charged a co-pay for the weight check. I know she assumes so, but has she asked?

As in all things on the DIS, I think there is way more of a back story than a the simple story of a pediatrician kicking out a paying patient just because mom doesn't want to come in for a weight check on a healthy, but chubby child.

Some doctors are just weird. We had one that told us that we shouldn't let our kids drink anything besides water. That's it. Water.

Disclaimer: My kids love water. And they also don't drink soda. But they love milk, and lemonade, and hot cocoa and frozen butterbear. The doctor was totally against all that.

We have a new doctor. :good vibes


The big concern is how do you not harm a 4 year old by having her come in for monthly weight checks at the doctor's office? That's setting her up for an eating disorder for sure.

 

[mjkacmom]

Why?

I have seen families who eat exactly the same proportionately and they have the one child that I guess lost the genetic lottery and is overweight.

What does it tell the child when they must have a special even healthier diet than the rest of the family?

Yes, that's what it means. DH's entire family is slim. Dd18 is slender, eats a lot, and never exercises. Dd11, ds11, and dd13 are very skinny, with dd13 slated as underweight when the schools gave out scores (her BMI puts her at underweight, and she's in the 4th %).

Ds16 was a chubby kid, always "at risk" on the BMI scale, until now. He's still at the high end of healthy (he's 6', about 175). He plays varsity soccer, winter and spring track, so has a daily workout. He rarely eats breakfast, has a snack for lunch (no lunch period), and eats dinner. He knows he's the one with the chubby gene from my side of the family (I really really have to watch my diet, and exercise). Is it fair? Heck no. But, unless he wants to be fat, he has to exercise more, and eat less than his skinny siblings.

If your metabolism is slow, you have to eat less.

 

[Disneyland1084]

But you haven't answered the question.

Has your daughter's weight gone down since you started implementing e.[/QUO

I weighed her once and she was 2 pounds lighter, then a few weeks later she was a pound heavier.