Taking one kid and not the other?

[ammag]

I have a 7 yr old daughter and a 3 year old son. I am looking at maybe taking us all back to the world for our daughters birthday in May but am onsidering going on a girls trip wiht just she and I. Has anyone done this with young kids? I don't know how upset our son would be, he would get to have fun weekend with daddy, probably a 5 day trip, two travel days of course. I know every kid is different but does this sound like. A generally bad or good idea to you all? Our next trip wouldn't be until 2016

 

[ajwolfe]

My boys are about the same about of years apart as your kids and there is no way I would consider this. I have seen people say that they have a tradition of taking each kid for a milestone birthday or something and that I could see - if your kids were understanding of it or if you lived close enough that you could take one for a couple days and then take the other. My boys love Disney and I can't imagine not taking them both at the same time; I think I wouldn't be able to have a good time knowing one of them was at home not getting to enjoy it.

 

[Mousemommy1]

I couldn't do it, but I know some people do. The child that I didn't take would be crushed.

 

[mom2AidanAndEli]

I have heard of people doing this and just can't even imagine it. Out of pure curiosity, why are you thinking about it? Is there a reason other than wanting to do "girly" stuff? You could always set aside one day down there that's for you and her and dad and son go off and do their own thing. But the whole trip???

To us, vacation time is family time....and that means the whole family!

 

[CRdisMom]

We did that when my dd12 was 5 and the other Ds was 18 months. The younger one still brings it up. But for that trip it had the be that way. Disney was a side adventure as we were in FL for a goddaughter first communion. I'd do it again.

 

[MandiC]

In February we took our then 7 and 9 year olds and left our 2 and 4 year olds at home, I have absolutely ZERO regrets in doing so. It was a very enjoyable trip with no strollers/diapers. Kids old enough to really appreciate the trip, not whine/complain, wait for bathroom breaks, not need naps, stay up late enough for fireworks, ect.

We didn't play up Disney World to our younger two so they didn't know what they were 'missing' they just knew they got to have a sleepover at their cousin's house and then go to grandma's for a few days, yay!
There were some moments where I'd see a little boy about their ages doing something cute that I wished they were there, and then there were lots of moments where I saw overtired or cranky, stubborn toddlers/preschoolers that I was very glad they were happily at home enjoying a fairly normal routine We'll bring them on the next trip, but I have no regrets doing it that way. Plus I am really happy for my girls that they got to really focus on the princess aspects of Disney when we visited because we weren't worried about trying to find something that was interesting to 'everyone'.

 

[AZMermaid]

My kids are 17 months apart and I really want to take them each for a 5th birthday Mommy kid trip (so in like 9 months formy son) but I don't think my younger one could handle it well at 3.5. I might reconsider for a 7th or 8th bday when the younger one understands her turn is coming easier.

 

[Disney Khaleesi]

Unless it's for a milestone birthday, and you know the other child will also be going for a similar trip, I wouldn't do it. My dad is returning to the World with my younger brother next October and I'm still a little jealous over it, even though I'm the one who backed out of the trip because I couldn't miss that much school. I'm going back in 2016 as well.

Since they're so young I wouldn't recommend it.

 

[njmom76]

I took DD (6) on a girls only trip, but DS was 20 months so he didn't know the difference and he had fun with daddy at home. We only had a few days and DH couldn't go.

 

[Happyjen27]

As long as everyone is happy with the arrangement, I don't see the harm.

 

[SEA333]

I have a 7 yr old daughter and a 3 year old son. I am looking at maybe taking us all back to the world for our daughters birthday in May but am onsidering going on a girls trip wiht just she and I. Has anyone done this with young kids? I don't know how upset our son would be, he would get to have fun weekend with daddy, probably a 5 day trip, two travel days of course. I know every kid is different but does this sound like. A generally bad or good idea to you all? Our next trip wouldn't be until 2016

Not to Disney because Disney is too far and expensive a trip to do more than the twice we have done it, however:

DH and I make it a point to take our kids on trips alone, depending on the trip and the interest level of the kid in question. I have taken DD on a 4-day trip to Mall of America in a plane from Chicago before while the boys stayed home with DH, and DH takes DS14 to the Notre Dame 3-day football coaching clinic every spring. We have taken the kids on solo one-day trips to various things before like college football games, American Girl outings, or other events just for the kid in question. We don't really bother to play fair in our house when it comes to quantity, we really care more about the quality of what the trip is and what it means to that particular kid. Poor DS8 hasn't done 1/2 of what his sibs have done, but his time will come....he will be the only child in the house when the other two are off at college, so I'm sure it will all even up in the end.

Do what's best for your kids and family....fair is in the eye of the beholder. And no kid will be scarred for life if they get solo trips with the parents to Disney - as long as they both get one (or the equivalent) at some point.

 

[becalubob]

What works for one family, may not for another. I took each of my children on their first trips, one at a time and it was wonderful. (My daughter was 6 for her first visit and we did all the "girly stuff" - BBB, princess meals, etc.) Fast forward to last summer, I now have 3 step-children. The older two had already been to WDW. I took my step-daughter (6) for a girls trip and I loved every minute of it. It was incredibly special, she talks about it quite a bit. We also did a 5 day trip (2 for travel). The boys understood. In a family our size, if we did big vacations every year with everyone, we'd be bankrupt. We have a cruise planned for everyone when the oldest two graduate, and have done many cheaper things such as camping. We keep everything fair though. Make sure to do a special trip just you and your son, or a "guys trip" for your DH and son. My perspective may be different because I have a very large family, but we do lots of things all together. All my children deserve quality one on one time too. Growing up, I only had a younger brother and we did things as a family, sure, but I still remember having "girls weekend" with my mom while the boys were doing their own things.... and I did things with just my dad too. I loved the individual bonding time. My personal opinion, is if you keep things fair, go for it!!! You'll have a wonderful time!!!

 

[Bamagirl43]

Nope. I wouldn't do it. Just seems sad for the little one.

 

[MandiC]

Do most 3 year olds even know what Disney World is? I know mine haven't known about it at that age. I just don't see how it is sad or how they could be sad. At 2 and 4 my younger two seemed to think grandma's house was BETTER than Disney World
But as someone else said, we have 4 kids, we don't play 'fair' in this house. If I had to make everything fair I'd go crazy and broke. I think it's good for kids to learn to be happy for their siblings and have their siblings be happy for them when they get to do special things.

 

[navyblue8]

I did in in September for my daughters 9th. I left my 5 and 2 yr old with daddy and they were sad and mad but got over it quickly with no ill feelings. They have been to Disney twice each before and are going next September. Now what I didn't expect, is my 9 year old being upset that her dad and siblings were not coming to share her birthday. She cried from the minute we surprised her on the way to the airport, off and on for hours, until we were on the ME and she started to get excited. The surprise was a very bad idea.

 

[kamik86]

Honestly I wasn't even born when my parents did cool vacations with my sisters and there is a part of me that is still a bit jealous that I never got to go on vacation as a kid (unless you count camping for the first few years but then even that stopped by the time I was 7 or 8. Where I heard about trips they took my siblings on and things they did with them when I looked at pictures and stuff. The first real vacation I can remember (staying in a hotel so it was more then a day trip) was Niagara falls which was done when I was in college AFTER I had already gone with school and mom decided she wanted to go after hearing about it.

So my answer is if you really will take your other child when he is older then yeah it would probably be ok. But if you think there is a chance that you will find it too tiring to do these kinds of vacations in a few years or that the budget is too tight or that you got back and felt guilty about your son missing out so she gets to go on his trip... Then I wouldn't do it.

I know now as an adult that there are other things I got that my older sisters didn't by way of being the only small child at the time (I got more help with college expenses and my wedding) so financially it probably evened out.... but I didn't get those vacation memories.

 

[SEA333]

Do most 3 year olds even know what Disney World is? I know mine haven't known about it at that age. I just don't see how it is sad or how they could be sad. At 2 and 4 my younger two seemed to think grandma's house was BETTER than Disney World
But as someone else said, we have 4 kids, we don't play 'fair' in this house. If I had to make everything fair I'd go crazy and broke. I think it's good for kids to learn to be happy for their siblings and have their siblings be happy for them when they get to do special things.

yup - that was me. LOL

And the same reasons as you, kind of. We have three kids, but both of us grew up with 7/8 siblings and camping was the best we could hope for in a family vacation.

As for DH...even camping wasn't an option. They didn't go anywhere or do anything at all. And if they did something SMALL, it was everyone or no one. So needless to say, there wasn't much of anything going on.

A 3 year old has no idea what WDW is, and if they do and stay home with Dad, it's only going to affect him as much as mom and big sister let it. Don't plan in front of his face and he won't care. I planned and packed for the entire last trip as surprise for my 13, 9, and 8 year old and they didn't have a clue until 15 minutes before we left for the airport. It can be done discreetly in a house with a 3 year old, trust me.

 

[marmalade]

I've left my husband at home and just took my kids.

I would love to do a mommy and me with my kids, but they are too young now (8 & 9) to not get upset of being the one left at home.

 

[RustManFan]

I don't see the harm either just as long as DS will have some special times with Daddy while you are away. My kids are adults now but they have always realized that times like this balance out.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

In our family, taking one child and leaving another would probably end up with violence.