Stupid People Tricks

[dclpluto]

The first time I tried to make pancakes from scratch I misread the recipe and added 1/4 C salt instead of 1/4t. Not even just regular table salt, I used pickling salt. My baby brother took one bite and spit the whole thing out and started crying LOL

Sounds like a Disney cruise line recipe. They love putting lots of salt in everything.

 

[Allison]

and you were subliminally rebelling against tipping somebody who was already being paid $17/hour to hand you a box through the doorway?

$17 an hour? Now, that makes me laugh.

 

[kaytieeldr]

already being paid $17/hour to hand you a box through the doorway?
(I should probably say I'm kidding before the pro-tipping crowd

yeah, but only for the $17 an hour part. Seriously? Here, they're lucky if they get minimum wage, and super lucky if they get any kind of vehicle reimbursement.

 

[ronandannette]

$17 an hour? Now, that makes me laugh.

That's minimum wage here for every employee - I realize it's not the same at all in the States.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I'm going to bet that I did the stupidest thing of all! We bought a new house and moved during the summer. I noticed that the seller left a nice potted bamboo plant on the back patio. After we were somewhat settled, I realized I hadn't watered it yet. So I had DS look up how often bamboo needs to be watered. Luckily, it's a relatively tough plant and still looked healthy despite being neglected. So I gave it some water.

A few weeks later, I looked at the tiny pot and decided it should be planted into a bigger one. The side patio just happened to have a huge, empty clay pot that needed something in it. So I dug a hole in the pot and proceeded to try and pull the bamboo out of it's small container. Wow. It was really stuck in there. So I decided to break the plastic pot with the little shovel. Wait, why was there styrofoam in the pot? And why was the bamboo stuck in concrete at the bottom of the pot? Oh snap! The bamboo is fake. I watered and then began to transplant a fake bamboo plant. Did I mention I'm not a gardner and I don't generally keep house plants because I tend to kill them? But seriously, I couldn't recognize a fake plant??? I stuck it in the big clay pot anyway since the small plastic one was now broken. It looks nice on the patio. At least there's that.

 

[Allison]

That's minimum wage here for every employee - I realize it's not the same at all in the States.

I guess that is why I don't get the attempt at a joke.

 

[disneyseniors]

When I first started cooking I got ambitious and spent a fortune on fresh/fancy ingredients to make dinner for my bf. Idiot me did not know the difference between bulbs of garlic vs cloves of garlic so I added TWO BULBS instead of two cloves. Just the two bites we ate burnt our mouths and the next day my skin smelled like garlic. We had to throw the whole meal out.

You are not alone out there, LOL.
My son moved far away from us with his first job. He lived in an apartment complex. He called me one day for a recipe. I told him it takes 2 cloves of garlic, minced. He called later and said his whole apartment and the hallways smelled like garlic!!!! What did I do? Then he said he used the 2 bulbs of garlic like I said. Duh. It was pretty funny, and smelly

 

[ZZBane]

Agree! You deserve it after that for sure.

Stupid person me last weekend:
This chilly time every year a couple of mice always try to sneak into my house. DH's job is to set the trap and mine is to remove them. 4am DH heard trap go off. Mouse caught only by one paw at the wrist. Later I wake up, not ready to deal so just cover him with a basket and make breakfast. Cleaning up and feeling bad about what's next, I decide to give mousey a last meal from the scraps, a potato and sausage and a capful of water. I give him 20 minutes to enjoy while I scour the web for the best method (wasn't pretty). OK, time to do this. Lift up the basket, HE'S GONE!!! Left the trap.

He nibbled much of the potato and sausage and drank every last drop in the cap. I gave him the strength to escape Poor thing has a mangle wrist tho. Not sure whether to laugh or cry

LMAO!!! I went through a lot of emotions reading this

 

[Disney_Alli]

Mine was last night. I had to pull a pan out of the oven, take the top off, and stir the contents. So I put an oven mitt on my right hand, and take the top off. For some stupid reason, I decided to rotate the pot, and grabbed the handle with my left hand. Fortunately no blisters, but had some mild pain for about 30 minutes.

Another one of mine is similar to this - we made a pineapple (I think) flambe type dish that was cooked in the oven for a little while. I took the frying pan out of the oven using an oven mitt but then later grabbed the handle with my bare hand and temporarily burnt two lines down my palm from the "wire" type handle... but here's the truly amazing part: I reminded my sister of that story while we were making an apple Pannenkoeken at her house and said something along the lines of "but now I'll remember not to do that again". Crash cut to about 20 minutes later when I proceed to do the exact same thing (though this time it was only one line as her frying pan had a solid handle)

 

[Owlpost23]

Thanksgiving day.I'm making cornbread casserole.Woodman's had Jiffy mix on sale for 20 cents a box.I dump in my corn,then add the cornbread mix-which I realize in horror is actually banana muffin mix! In the garbage it went.No wonder it was 20 cents a box...

 

[leebee]

There was the morning I made cinnamon toast for DD's breakfast using pre-mixed cinnamon sugar I bought in the spice aisle instead of mixing cinnamon and sugar at home, as I usually do. I made the toast, buttered it, sprinkled on the cinnamon sugar, and gave it to her. Unfortunately, I didn't use cinnamon sugar... I used celery salt.

 

[Heather07438]

There was the morning I made cinnamon toast for DD's breakfast using pre-mixed cinnamon sugar I bought in the spice aisle instead of mixing cinnamon and sugar at home, as I usually do. I made the toast, buttered it, sprinkled on the cinnamon sugar, and gave it to her. Unfortunately, I didn't use cinnamon sugar... I used celery salt.

mmmm... yum

 

[chiefmickeymouse]

hmmm, I have a few:

I tried to make French toast in the toaster. The fire department had to come after I shorted out the toaster.

When I lived in England I was cooking a turkey for Thanksgiving, the first attempt I'd ever made at this as a young military wife. I knew there was supposed to be the gravy packet inside the carcass. I looked and looked, excavated that turkey thoroughly and was very distressed not to find it so I called the turkey hotline (yes that's a thing). The very nice lady informed me that they don't put the packets in turkeys shipped internationally.

I was in a brain fog after bringing my first baby home from the hospital. I left the house with the front door wide open. When I came back nothing was amiss, but 3 stray cats had taken up residence.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I was in a brain fog after bringing my first baby home from the hospital. I left the house with the front door wide open. When I came back nothing was amiss, but 3 stray cats had taken up residence.

Man, some people have all the luck...

 

[mrodgers]

I once made oatmeal cookies and forgot to add the oatmeal. Hope that makes you feel better

Dad was the cookie maker of the family growing up. My brother and I made chocolate chip cookies all the time on weekends with him. We doubled the recipe and it was the best we ever made because we accidentally quadrupled the butter

 

[mrodgers]

Mine was last night. I had to pull a pan out of the oven, take the top off, and stir the contents. So I put an oven mitt on my right hand, and take the top off. For some stupid reason, I decided to rotate the pot, and grabbed the handle with my left hand. Fortunately no blisters, but had some mild pain for about 30 minutes.

That's always fun. I couldn't figure out why our finger scanner on the time clock wasn't working for me. Then I realized it was because 2 days earlier I was breaking the equipment open with heavy hot gloves, then worked without a glove as we do to pull a plate out to change screens, then I didn't think of tossing the glove back on and grabbed a hold of the 480° clamp to close it back up. Got half the palm and the entire length of 2 fingers. Couldn't punch in on the clock for a week.

 

[mrodgers]

There was the morning I made cinnamon toast for DD's breakfast using pre-mixed cinnamon sugar I bought in the spice aisle instead of mixing cinnamon and sugar at home, as I usually do. I made the toast, buttered it, sprinkled on the cinnamon sugar, and gave it to her. Unfortunately, I didn't use cinnamon sugar... I used celery salt.

That's a good one. My daughter came home from school and said she didn't eat her pudding (mix, not store bought cups.) Said it didn't smell good or taste good when she took a bite. We unpacked her lunch and saw she grabbed the container of chicken gravy and hate a heaping spoon full of it.... cold.

 

[RogueX]

Mine was a misguided attempt to make chipotle marinated steak tips. Well, I followed the recipe (or so I thought) and cooked those suckers in the cast iron pan. I must have added added too much chipotle powder, because everyone in the house was coughing, eyes watering and had to run outside. My husband told me that I essentially pepper sprayed everyone from the cooking. The dog was so traumatized, she hides in the basement now when I cook.

 

[jaybirdsmommy]

Drove a group of us to the Atlanta airport for a flight. Parked in the long term parking and left my keyless ignition car running. Came back a week later to a dead, out of gas, car.

What makes it even worse? One of the kids in the group left something in the car so I actually went back to it before the flight. I STILL didn't catch that the car was running.

The nice parking lot lady that drove me to get gas tried to make me feel better by telling me that she gets the same call about twice a day. Didn't help.

 

[ronandannette]

Drove a group of us to the Atlanta airport for a flight. Parked in the long term parking and left my keyless ignition car running. Came back a week later to a dead, out of gas, car.

What makes it even worse? One of the kids in the group left something in the car so I actually went back to it before the flight. I STILL didn't catch that the car was running.

The nice parking lot lady that drove me to get gas tried to make me feel better by telling me that she gets the same call about twice a day. Didn't help.

How is that possible? Did you leave your key fob in the vehicle too? Ours shuts off when the fob gets too far away. I know this because I’ve stranded my DH in parking lots when he drops me off somewhere and I have the fob in my pocket.

I have also risked life and limb by turning my engine off with the push-button at highway speed when I was trying to hang up a Bluetooth phone call, but I digress...