middle school dance -- girls can't turn down a guy who asks them

[jdb in AZ]

I understand a girl's need to say "no" to rape, but this is for a middle school dance lesson and the music lasts what, five minutes per song? https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/a...ghters-right-to-say-no/ar-BB10sDxR?li=BBnb7Kz

I wouldn't want to dance with a creeper, but how far should the school go to make the guys feel included?

 

[L&Lfan]

I prefer the traditional way. If it ain’t broke...

 

[Moliphino]

They should be teaching boys how to deal with rejection, not teaching them that they're entitled to whatever girl they want.

 

[JaxDad]

I understand a girl's need to say "no" to rape, but this is for a middle school dance lesson and the music lasts what, five minutes per song? https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/a...ghters-right-to-say-no/ar-BB10sDxR?li=BBnb7Kz

I wouldn't want to dance with a creeper, but how far should the school go to make the guys feel included?

Dang! Why didn't they have this rule when I was in middle school?!

 

[wvjules]

They should be teaching boys how to deal with rejection, not teaching them that they're entitled to whatever girl they want.

^^^^THIS!

Everyone should be able to choose who they want to dance with, have touch them, talk to, etc. Your body, your choice.

 

[Keetchino]

It’s actually very unclear from the article whether it was a “dance lesson” or a “dance”..... it keeps referring to school curriculum and the dance segment in gym, but then also refers to it as “The Valentines Day Dance”. I can see having to dance with other kids during the school curriculum, but I’ve never heard of slow dancing being a required lesson. If this was during a “school dance” then my daughter should ABSOLUTELY have the right to say “no”! Teach the boys how to handle rejection!

 

[disneychrista]

Nope. Girls, women, boys & men ALL have the right to say no to something they don’t want to do. Including dancing with a boy/girl they don’t like or want to.

 

[wenrob]

Oh hell to the NO. My kids right to autonomy trumps your kids feelings getting hurt. What a backwards way of thinking.

 

[wenrob]

It’s actually very unclear from the article whether it was a “dance lesson” or a “dance”..... it keeps referring to school curriculum and the dance segment in gym, but then also refers to it as “The Valentines Day Dance”. I can see having to dance with other kids during the school curriculum, but I’ve never heard of slow dancing being a required lesson. If this was during a “school dance” then my daughter should ABSOLUTELY have the right to say “no”! Teach the boys how to handle rejection!

I think they’re using that as an excuse to justify it. PE is one thing, everyone should participate. (flashes to square dancing filled with sweaty palms) A school dance is a school dance and you should be able to choose who you want to interact with. The article points to church dances and the same policy which makes the whole “curriculum” line BS. It’s a dangerous mentality they’re instituting; girls must say ‘yes’ and boys can’t be told ‘no.’

 

[superme80]

They should be teaching boys how to deal with rejection, not teaching them that they're entitled to whatever girl they want.

Am I the only parent teaching my boys this? My kids aren't dance ages, but I am always teaching them to respect others personal space, don't make people uncomfortable, and if someone doesn't like you; move on. Rejection sucks, but it is life.

 

[NYCgrrl]

No strong feelings because I never attended a middle school that gave dances; same for my sons' and DGD .
Seems more like a high school activity to me.

 

[katie01]

My kids’ junior high doesn’t have slow dances, they all just dance as a group at that age. Then at the high school it turns into a big “grinding” circle, which grosses my high schoolers out. Can you just imagine if they forced the girls got get “grinded” (ground?) on? Ew

 

[jdb in AZ]

I can't help wondering if the principal had been rejected during his adolescence. If the principal were a woman i doubt the school would even consider the policy.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

This is appalling. So is this:

“Or, [the principal] continued, Hobson could pull her daughter out of school on days when dances were scheduled.”

The girl should sacrifice her education to avoid telling a boy no? Unreal.

 

[PRINCESS Sweet Pea]

No way!!!! Oh heck no. Nothing is okay about this.

 

[jdb in AZ]

This is appalling. So is this:

“Or, [the principal] continued, Hobson could pull her daughter out of school on days when dances were scheduled.”

The girl should sacrifice her education to avoid telling a boy no? Unreal.

Skipping the dance entirely means she couldn't dance with the guy she's actually interested in.

 

[minthorne]

When I was in school I would have been thrilled if a boy asked me to dance...

 

[Jennasis]

Nope nope nope and no way this will stand up to a legal challenge, which I am sure is forthcoming. Ew ew ew.

 

[RangerPooh]

I think they’re using that as an excuse to justify it. PE is one thing, everyone should participate. (flashes to square dancing filled with sweaty palms) A school dance is a school dance and you should be able to choose who you want to interact with. The article points to church dances and the same policy which makes the whole “curriculum” line BS. It’s a dangerous mentality they’re instituting; girls must say ‘yes’ and boys can’t be told ‘no.’

Agreed! PE is a requirement, it's a class activity just like a science lab where you're partnered with someone; male or female. A dance is optional. No one should be required to say "yes" to dancing with another person. Rejection is part of life. If they are concerned about rejection and feelings than perhaps a better approach would be educate students on how to politely decline an invitation to dance. You still get to take a chance and ask, but know that rejection isn't the end of the world.

**Personally I hated square dancing, but it was a requirement in my school district in CA during the late 80s early 90s. My kids don't know the horror of partnering up to square dance and line dance on the playground in the hot summer/fall sun.

 

[luvsJack]

This is one of those things where I agree with both sides.

For boys, it is very scary to ask a girl to dance for the first time. The fear of rejection is very strong. And it will keep the boys from asking girls to dance so then everyone is standing around.

For girls (and boys really), they need to know they can say no. Always.