middle school dance -- girls can't turn down a guy who asks them

[Heather07438]

I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and assume 2 things- it's within class time and the dance being taught has very minimal physical contact.

Then possibly the protocol may be one of character building where nobody is left to feel excluded. If that is the case then I'd also say that girls should be offered equal time to choose partners and those boys cannot refuse either.

 

[mjkacmom]

Is it more like a dance, or a gym class? Do they instruct them what dances to do? Is it mandatory to dance each song? Maybe they can make it more random. Heck I’d rather my child dance with someone they didn’t like than get stuck with them on a group project, especially those that get worked on outside of school.

 

[mjkacmom]

I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and assume 2 things- it's within class time and the dance being taught has very minimal physical contact.

Then possibly the protocol may be one of character building where nobody is left to feel excluded. If that is the case then I'd also say that girls should be offered equal time to choose partners and those boys cannot refuse either.

I read the article, it looks like girls ask too.

 

[Colleen27]

Oh, heck no. Everyone - girls and boys - should be able to decide if they want to dance with a person who asked. And everyone - girls and boys - should learn how to accept that sometimes the answer is just going to be no.

 

[fly girl]

From how I’m reading it, it seems the dances are during school. (In lieu of a classroom party is where my head is at.)

Now I get trying to include all so the awkward or bullied kid isn’t excluded, but to force a girl? NO!!! And what if no boy asks the awkward girl? So she can be left out, but the boys can’t be? This policy is asinine!

Now if it is an after school dance then all bets are off. That school is loco.

I can slightly see why they thought this could be a good idea, but if you step back you clearly can determine why it is not.

 

[ButterbearUK]

This is one of those things where I agree with both sides.

For boys, it is very scary to ask a girl to dance for the first time. The fear of rejection is very strong. And it will keep the boys from asking girls to dance so then everyone is standing around.

For girls (and boys really), they need to know they can say no. Always.

I agree. I also think that it would be healthy to encourage the girls to ask the boys to dance. I used to do a lot of Modern Jive, and it made for a very boring evening out if I just waited for invitations. Much better to seek out partners for a dance or three, particularly at the start of the night when new dancers were there who were too scared to ask but wanted to practice.

Teach girls that it is ok to do the asking, teach everyone that it is ok to politely decline if they have good reason, and emphasise that the world will not end if you are rejected. Sometimes something better comes along soon after!

 

[fly girl]

Is it more like a dance, or a gym class? Do they instruct them what dances to do? Is it mandatory to dance each song? Maybe they can make it more random. Heck I’d rather my child dance with someone they didn’t like than get stuck with them on a group project, especially those that get worked on outside of school.

Don’t even get me started on group school projects. Ugh! There is never an equally shared workload. I’m trying to teach my daughter that in life you have to work with others, and sometimes you’ll pull more than your own weight. But I completely get her frustration and wish they wouldn’t do group projects. (Or at least put them in fair groups!)

 

[mjkacmom]

Don’t even get me started on group school projects. Ugh! There is never an equally shared workload. I’m trying to teach my daughter that in life you have to work with others, and sometimes you’ll pull more than your own weight. But I completely get her frustration and wish they wouldn’t do group projects. (Or at least put them in fair groups!)

I honestly think that is the purpose of group projects, kind of like a social experiment. I’ve had kids who do all of the work, plus a slacker (and my slacker usually gets put with worse slackers so has to up his game). So glad to be almost done with them.

 

[Disneypro1]

The good looking girls dance with the good looking boys....etc. Always been that way always will. Some will get rejected.. some will be afraid to ask. But no one.... Will ever tell my daughter or son who they HAVE to dance with or etc. That won’t fly. And this won’t either. Whether one feelings is hurt or not, is the kids issue. No one else’s. I’m sure at some point my kids will have their feelings hurt....or hurt some one else’s. Well. So what.....that’s a good life’s lesson.

 

[luvsJack]

I do have to say, if they don't have that rule at that age, then there really isn't going to be much dancing going on. So, if it is for PE, then I get the reasoning but they should have thought it out more.

When my kids were junior high age, I would chaperone the dances. And if we didn't have a good DJ, no one was dancing. We had to have someone that would keep stuff going. Like tell everyone to get on the floor and then "choose a partner" and give them like to the count of 10 to partner up. Or he would get half the group to write their names on a piece of paper and put in a hat, the other half would draw out a name and they would dance. After a couple of games like that, they would start asking each other to dance.

 

[mjkacmom]

I agree. I also think that it would be healthy to encourage the girls to ask the boys to dance. I used to do a lot of Modern Jive, and it made for a very boring evening out if I just waited for invitations. Much better to seek out partners for a dance or three, particularly at the start of the night when new dancers were there who were too scared to ask but wanted to practice.

Teach girls that it is ok to do the asking, teach everyone that it is ok to politely decline if they have good reason, and emphasise that the world will not end if you are rejected. Sometimes something better comes along soon after!

Hobson told The Post boys and girls take turns asking classmates to dance. When a song starts, the boys will ask girls to dance. When that song finishes, the girls will ask boys to dance.

 

[ButterbearUK]

Hobson told The Post boys and girls take turns asking classmates to dance. When a song starts, the boys will ask girls to dance. When that song finishes, the girls will ask boys to dance.

Ah, fair enough. At least that bit is equitable then

 

[Moliphino]

I vaguely remember doing square dancing in PE back in middle school and I'm pretty sure we were all randomly paired up (no asking involved), to eliminate anyone feeling left out. I think that's fine for an in-class dance lesson, which had a minimum of touching anyway.
For a social dance everyone should be able to decline if they want.

 

[wenrob]

Teach girls that it is ok to do the asking, teach everyone that it is ok to politely decline if they have good reason, and emphasise that the world will not end if you are rejected. Sometimes something better comes along soon after!

Politely decline, yes. Have a reason, good or otherwise, no.

 

[Jennasis]

Also, why on Earth is dancing being taught in PE? Like PE isn't full of embarassment, failure, and hurt feelings enough as it is??

 

[wenrob]

I vaguely remember doing square dancing in PE back in middle school and I'm pretty sure we were all randomly paired up (no asking involved), to eliminate anyone feeling left out. I think that's fine for an in-class dance lesson, which had a minimum of touching anyway.
For a social dance everyone should be able to decline if they want.

We lined up and got numbers and then matching numbers were paired.

 

[wenrob]

Also, why on Earth is dancing being taught in PE? Like PE isn't full of embarassment, failure, and hurt feelings enough as it is??

And why is there slow dancing for 11 year olds?

 

[PRINCESS Sweet Pea]

It is still forced. This is forcing these young kids who might not even want to dance that they have to dance one on one with any other person who ask them. Not like a group thing. Forced couples dancing has nothing to do with education. This is going to far!

 

[jdb in AZ]

DD went to a church-sponsored dance with a girl cousin when they were both teenagers, older than the middle-school kids in the article. A guy approached the cousin and it was considered impolite to turn down anyone, even tho the guy was mentally disabled. The cousin balked and walked away so the guy turned to DD and she danced with him. She got lots of pity looks from the girls around her as he couldn't dance, and he drooled "all over" her (her description) but she toughed it out til the song ended and she politely thanked him and excused herself. And never went to another church-sponsored dance. BTW, it was o.k. for the guys to turn down the girls.

 

[Julie's Haircut]

It's Utah.