Sister Wives

[wenrob]

I don't know...my take from Kody's brutally honest anniversary rant is that he wants singular marriage now. He wants rid of 3 wives, starting with Mery. And I can likely 100% guess which other 2. And I kinda blame Christine with her refusal to live all together or even do stuff together as giving Kody his out.

Well he at least wants out of the pressure of having four wives. They’re all unhappy, even Robyn and they want him to fix it. You have very different levels of cooperation on that front though and he seems to be just throwing up his hands at the whole thing. Every single one of them is complicit in this yet none of them want to give in any way that might inconvenience them. Those ladies have had a taste of running their own lives (except maybe Janelle who apparently lets her kids run hers) and they don’t want to give it up. Marriage in general won’t work if you don’t compromise and you’ve got five people who seem fine with not doing that.

As an aside did anyone catch Kody saying “if we want to get our fellowship back” and Meri saying something about the covenant? That’s what I was trying to point out in previous posts. They won’t end it ever no matter how unhappy they make each other.

 

[prairie_girl]

Well he at least wants out of the pressure of having four wives. They’re all unhappy, even Robyn and they want him to fix it. You have very different levels of cooperation on that front though and he seems to be just throwing up his hands at the whole thing. Every single one of them is complicit in this yet none of them want to give in any way that might inconvenience them. Those ladies have had a taste of running their own lives (except maybe Janelle who apparently lets her kids run hers) and they don’t want to give it up. Marriage in general won’t work if you don’t compromise and you’ve got five people who seem fine with not doing that.

As an aside did anyone catch Kody saying “if we want to get our fellowship back” and Meri saying something about the covenant? That’s what I was trying to point out in previous posts. They won’t end it ever no matter how unhappy they make each other.

You’re 100% right about Janelle letting her kids run her household. She needs to toughen up and say no, no more seeing your girlfriend. I get that it would suuuuuuuck, but you’re hardly the only one going through it.

 

[wenrob]

You’re 100% right about Janelle letting her kids run her household. She needs to toughen up and say no, no more seeing your girlfriend. I get that it would suuuuuuuck, but you’re hardly the only one going through it.

I’m not a “my way or the highway” type of parent. I have two teens and they get a voice but that was just ridiculous. When it comes to the well being of the family we will have the final say every time. They completely discounted their sister’s feelings. I don’t care what they’ve been through (and I was pretty upset they moved those kids in their senior year) that was completely selfish and self serving. For a girl. Just no. And I don’t care what a knob Kody is there’s just no way I’d sit there and let my kids talk smack about their dad. Gah, the whole scene made me mad.

 

[bapcap]

Tonight’s anniversary episode was hard to watch. The way Kody was talking to and about Meri was so brutal, in my opinion. I know Meri has to accept her part in the way the relationship is, but to just sit there and listen to him talk to her the way he did...wow! Could not believe she wasn’t in tears after that conversation. At the end...”I want to kiss you right now” and his look!!

 

[barkley]

It’s pretty clear that Kody wants nothing to do with Meri anymore but he wants her to be the one to initiate the split

that's exactly it-HE doesn't want to be the one to initiate it. he wants it to be 'meri gave up', 'meri left the marriage', 'meri left the family', 'meri failed the faith'. he doesn't want the stigma w/in his polygamous community of friends nor does he want the 'stain' upon him personally.

i don't know if it's the same within the polygamous community he associates with but even within the mainstream faith/church there are some life choices that subject the one(s) who 'choose' it to basically what comes down to as an (unofficial) shunning from family/other 'faithfuls'. with meri that could mean EVERYONE in the family (including mariah and her fiance b/c some will shun by virtue of association).

You’re 100% right about Janelle letting her kids run her household. She needs to toughen up and say no, no more seeing your girlfriend. I get that it would suuuuuuuck, but you’re hardly the only one going through it.

i'm seeing with janelle what i saw growing up with mainstream members of the faith as well as members of a couple of other faiths that were very patriarchal in nature. as the sons age up the females in the family start to defer to them as they would to their husbands/older male family members. i saw older sisters (young adults) do it with much younger teen brothers and mothers begin to do it with their teen sons. it's not a conscious practice it's just something that people have lived generationally and it becomes ingrained in the family dynamics. something (like the situation w/the boys going out socializing during the pandemic) would be a non negotiable decision made on the part of the parent if it were daughters but because sons are involved they can choose their own path.

 

[tink2424]

Well seems I’m the odd one out on that episode. I felt like Kody was at last being honest. Brutally honest but honest. If you listen to what each are actually saying Meri never owns her part in all of this. Having been married forever and a day (32 years) when I’m asked how we make it work I say, “You have to be willing to hear your own crap.” I feel like Meri isn’t willing to do that. She just wants to move on without really examining it and they’re stuck. When he said “Meri needs to figure out if she really wants to be with me or if she’s just lonely” it really struck a nerve for me. I hate to say it but he’s right. She does this with the whole family, puts all the issues on them but never really makes the effort to solve the actual problem.

I agree and found Kody very honest but at the same time I do also agree that he only puts it on her. Either tell her exactly what you want to see in order to move forward or just tell her your not willing to move forward. He tells her that she needs to court him but then apparently when she tries he just rejects her. You can't have it both ways but you are very much correct that he had a point with what he said too.

 

[wenrob]

that's exactly it-HE doesn't want to be the one to initiate it. he wants it to be 'meri gave up', 'meri left the marriage', 'meri left the family', 'meri failed the faith'. he doesn't want the stigma w/in his polygamous community of friends nor does he want the 'stain' upon him personally.

i don't know if it's the same within the polygamous community he associates with but even within the mainstream faith/church there are some life choices that subject the one(s) who 'choose' it to basically what comes down to as an (unofficial) shunning from family/other 'faithfuls'. with meri that could mean EVERYONE in the family (including mariah and her fiance b/c some will shun by virtue of association).




i'm seeing with janelle what i saw growing up with mainstream members of the faith as well as members of a couple of other faiths that were very patriarchal in nature. as the sons age up the females in the family start to defer to them as they would to their husbands/older male family members. i saw older sisters (young adults) do it with much younger teen brothers and mothers begin to do it with their teen sons. it's not a conscious practice it's just something that people have lived generationally and it becomes ingrained in the family dynamics. something (like the situation w/the boys going out socializing during the pandemic) would be a non negotiable decision made on the part of the parent if it were daughters but because sons are involved they can choose their own path.

I agree with you assessment of the male role. I see it in my uncles and my male cousins have tried to pull that crap on me at gatherings. I’m sure they think my husband is some poor shmuck who doesn’t have “control” of his wife. It’s why they steamrolled their sister and didn’t consider her feelings at all.

I also agree with Kody wanting Meri to be the one to call it quits. He’d be free and clear and she wouldn’t have a chance in hell in having anything reversed.

I agree and found Kody very honest but at the same time I do also agree that he only puts it on her. Either tell her exactly what you want to see in order to move forward or just tell her your not willing to move forward. He tells her that she needs to court him but then apparently when she tries he just rejects her. You can't have it both ways but you are very much correct that he had a point with what he said too.

Do you remember the uproar when the wives found out Kody kissed Robyn while they were courting? That was a huge no-no. It’s not supposed to be about romance or sex it’s supposed to be about getting to know one another. So when I hear Kody say, “I want you to court me” what I’m hearing is “make me know you again, make me want to like you again.” Granted he needs to be doing the same thing but Meri keeps jumping right to intimacy and sex. She doesn’t seem to want to build back to that. I’m a firm believer that a good sex life contributes to a healthy marriage but it won’t save a broken marriage. Neither of them have put in the work to fix it. They need to become friends again before they move to intimacy IMO.

 

[barkley]

is it my perception or does janelle's house look soooooooooo bad as compared to the other wives? they've done so much of the filming with that household sitting in camp chairs outside this season that i never really got a look at the place until kody's return. there was one camera pan on the entry/front porch and it looked like the place is suffering from wood rot and leaky gutters. the interior looks really small and cramped.

 

[ronandannette]

is it my perception or does janelle's house look soooooooooo bad as compared to the other wives? they've done so much of the filming with that household sitting in camp chairs outside this season that i never really got a look at the place until kody's return. there was one camera pan on the entry/front porch and it looked like the place is suffering from wood rot and leaky gutters. the interior looks really small and cramped.

She is in a rental, as far as we know, and finding rentals in Flagstaff initially was a challenge for all of them for various reasons. Also, from the onset of this show, Janelle is the wife that has never claimed any high level of prowess as a homemaker or cook.

 

[barkley]

She is in a rental, as far as we know, and finding rentals in Flagstaff initially was a challenge for all of them for various reasons. Also, from the onset of this show, Janelle is the wife that has never claimed any high level of prowess as a homemaker or cook.

i get that but when you look at the places the other 3 are in (2 of which they own now i believe) and if anyone should be complaining about being 'the basement family' it's janelle and her kids. i want to say that i remember them in a much nicer rental when they first moved there.

 

[tink2424]

Do you remember the uproar when the wives found out Kody kissed Robyn while they were courting? That was a huge no-no. It’s not supposed to be about romance or sex it’s supposed to be about getting to know one another. So when I hear Kody say, “I want you to court me” what I’m hearing is “make me know you again, make me want to like you again.” Granted he needs to be doing the same thing but Meri keeps jumping right to intimacy and sex. She doesn’t seem to want to build back to that. I’m a firm believer that a good sex life contributes to a healthy marriage but it won’t save a broken marriage. Neither of them have put in the work to fix it. They need to become friends again before they move to intimacy IMO.

Agree there is more than just them jumping back into a physical relationship. They definitely aren't in the head space for that to fix anything.

 

[wenrob]

i get that but when you look at the places the other 3 are in (2 of which they own now i believe) and if anyone should be complaining about being 'the basement family' it's janelle and her kids. i want to say that i remember them in a much nicer rental when they first moved there.

I’d have to agree. Christine’s house is flippin gorgeous. I thought Janelle was the first to find a rental but I don’t remember much taking place at her house because she was still working in Vegas. It seems they are filming towards the back of the house and maybe the crew has things set up for the front? Kind of like when you entertain you’ve got people in the living room vs family room where you actually live.

 

[happily single]

is it my perception or does janelle's house look soooooooooo bad as compared to the other wives? they've done so much of the filming with that household sitting in camp chairs outside this season that i never really got a look at the place until kody's return. there was one camera pan on the entry/front porch and it looked like the place is suffering from wood rot and leaky gutters. the interior looks really small and cramped.

I just googled her and an article from 2018 came up. It was all about the Brand New 3 bed house she was renting for $2,900 a month in Utah. Did she move from that property?

I remember that Meri had to move from her 1st rental due to neighbor complaints, but I don't remember hearing about Janelle moving

 

[mom2rtk]

She is in a rental, as far as we know, and finding rentals in Flagstaff initially was a challenge for all of them for various reasons. Also, from the onset of this show, Janelle is the wife that has never claimed any high level of prowess as a homemaker or cook.

I think she's also the more financially responsible wife if I recall properly. Maybe she's the only one really living within her means.

 

[Sarah'sMomfrom PA]

Saw where Tony and Mykela had their baby.....Tony....that hair on you is not becoming at all!!

 

[TheIncredibles!]

Saw where Tony and Mykela had their baby.....Tony....that hair on you is not becoming at all!!

He's trying out Kody's hair for a bit I guess

 

[lovin'fl]

Just watched the very first couple episodes and it really was Robyn that shattered their family.

 

[Claudia1]

Just watched the very first couple episodes and it really was Robyn that shattered their family.

Cody encouraged it, tho. Without him allowing it to happen, it would not have. Just my opinion.

 

[lovin'fl]

Cody encouraged it, tho. Without him allowing it to happen, it would not have. Just my opinion.

Yes!

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Just watched the very first couple episodes and it really was Robyn that shattered their family.

So looking back, did it seem to be the addition of a 4th wife or Robyn herself that ruined the family? I don't recall the exact issues.