Family not excited, looking for recommendations

[Darth Insidious]

We are going to Disney World next February.

Kids will be 6 (just turned 6 then), 12, and 14.
Husband is a combat vet and does not enjoy Disney. We have been once, 7 years ago.

The youngest is super excited. She wants a BBB makeover, to meet some princesses and other characters, eat at CRT, and hopefully go to a tea party if that’s back. I think I can meet those expectations.

12 yo wants to lounge around the hotel most of the time. She wants to shop, try different foods, doesn’t want thrill rides (but loved them age 5). She wants to eat at BoG. Zero interest in characters. I’m thinking Disney Springs and World Showcase could be really fun for her. Maybe a spa day at the hotel. Pretty much everything I suggest, she says no to.

14 yo wants thrill rides. He’s relatively easy going but will be bored with some stuff. He’s also interested in “any restaurant” and wants to try all food. He is interested in World Showcase and maybe Disney Springs. I’m thinking maybe after hours events for him. If the Day of Thrills Tour is back, maybe that. Also water parks. He’s excited about Galaxy’s Edge. We are going to do some Batuu bounding and also build sabers and droids.

Husband liked the firework cruise we did (pontoon boat at Epcot). That makes sense since he doesn’t love crowds. He also remembers liking Rainforest Cafe for the theming with the kids. He took our middle child to Aurora’s tea party and enjoyed that. Unrushed, uncrowded stuff appeals to him generally. His biggest complaint is “it was too planned out, felt like we were always rushing”. He wants to wake up, decide which park, and just do what we want in the moment. He despised trying to rope drop (despite being an up at 4 or 5am kind of guy). He wants one day off for every two in a park. Husband and 12 yo are sort of on the same page. They’d like to wander for a few hours, snack, ride whatever grabs their interest, then go back to the hotel within a few hours.

So I’m trying to do at least a couple of days without much planned. Animal Kingdom might go okay. World Showcase. Disney Springs. He wants me to do no planning but I know that will mean no fun restaurants, no BBB, and long lines for rides.

Any advice? I think we might have to split up a fair amount of the time to make everyone happy. Any suggestions for the two who just want to browse and take in the area? It’s sort of a hot mess of a schedule trying to accommodate everyone. Most likely there for 10 days. Trying to nail that down if I can come up with some sort of tentative schedule.

I do think I’m just going to accept that husband and older daughter might do a few things then leave for the hotel (perhaps with the youngest). Maybe try to do what my son wants with after hours or stacked evening rides.

 

[dd316]

Our last trip a year ago was myself, wife, daughter, and father-in-law. Although we had to pick our parks in advance (stupid reservation system), we did have park hoppers which made spontaneity a little better. Only had a few pre-booked meals but otherwise we went with the flow - if one line was too long we'd find something shorter or go to a show, shop, etc.

We would start our days together for breakfast, and discuss where we would be that day and what everyone would like to accomplish. Some days we all went as a group, and others we broke into groups of 2 and decided on a time and place to reconvene later in the day. It all depended on what everybody wanted to do. Worked out great and there wasn't a lot of pre-planning involved.

 

[Sammie]

I would definitely divide up. Let the kids pick one MUST and start there.

 

[MousetersInc]

I think you're wise to recognize that there's not much to be gained by forcing anyone to do anything they're not really into. (In fact, is it even an option for husband to stay at home? I don't want to assume that "combat vet" automatically equals PTSD, but there's a lot about the WDW experience that could be challenging.) But there's also the fact that even somebody who's not that "into it" gets sucked in by the experience and has fun after all. Our 13yo daughter was all "I don't even care about WDW, I just want to do HP" before our trip, but wound up enthusiastic. Give your 12yo room to change her mind at the last minute and opt in if she wants to.

The parks are, by their nature, a "sensory overload" experience. Aside from the intensity of rides, there are crowds, noises, pushing and pulling; there are even scents and music piped in to make sure you don't have an un-stimulated moment. The Genie+/ILL/VQ systems have us on edge, feeling that we must fight competitively, and that if we relax and take our time we're leaving money and/or "fun" on the table. It sounds like your husband might enjoy some of the places that are oases from the stimuli. It's basically all the things that nobody tries to elbow their way into because they're not as exciting. Some of those, for me, off the top of my head:

• Tom Sawyer Island
• Tomorrowland People Mover
• Carousel of Progress and Hall of Presidents (though that might be a little too zen?)
• Epcot World Showcase in general, especially the garden areas of China and Japan
• Lots of corners of AK like the animal trails

And in general, many sit-down meals can provide a nice respite. Jiko was dim, tranquil, and an amazing meal. Sometimes the right table makes all the difference; the "butterfly booth" in Skipper's Canteen is awesome.

For folks who don't like rope drop... and don't like crowds... and prefer to be unplanned... sometimes evenings can be great times. If you get Extended Evening Hours, go for them; maybe consider buying an After Hours event? You get everything husband and 14-yo are looking for: relatively empty parks, do stuff in whatever order you want, and you can wake up at 7pm .

 

[_19disnA]

If you were last there 7 yrs ago I think the main thing you will notice is the parks are a LOT more crowded then in the past. That translates into longer rides lines and not being able to do as much in a given day. No amount of advance planning will make the crowds any smaller. I think the idea to split up makes sense so everyone has some say in what they want to do. Good idea to discuss as a family before you leave home so everyone knows what others want to do. If you had very young children, that would be less of an issue, but clearly teens will want some voice in making decisions.

Make sure to check the official Disney website for current restaurant menus. Places like BOG have gone to those pricey fixed menus. Most of those types of places are VERY expensive.

 

[MiketheGrate]

For something a little off the beaten path (but not that far), I'd recommend booking the Behind the Seeds tour at Epcot. It's an hour-ish long tour where you walk through Living with the Land and learn a lot about the agriculture behind the ride. Pretty relaxing and a little different.

 

[Darth Insidious]

Our last trip a year ago was myself, wife, daughter, and father-in-law. Although we had to pick our parks in advance (stupid reservation system), we did have park hoppers which made spontaneity a little better. Only had a few pre-booked meals but otherwise we went with the flow - if one line was too long we'd find something shorter or go to a show, shop, etc.

We would start our days together for breakfast, and discuss where we would be that day and what everyone would like to accomplish. Some days we all went as a group, and others we broke into groups of 2 and decided on a time and place to reconvene later in the day. It all depended on what everybody wanted to do. Worked out great and there wasn't a lot of pre-planning involved.

Thank you. I like the idea of a family meal before splitting up!

 

[Darth Insidious]

I think you're wise to recognize that there's not much to be gained by forcing anyone to do anything they're not really into. (In fact, is it even an option for husband to stay at home? I don't want to assume that "combat vet" automatically equals PTSD, but there's a lot about the WDW experience that could be challenging.) But there's also the fact that even somebody who's not that "into it" gets sucked in by the experience and has fun after all. Our 13yo daughter was all "I don't even care about WDW, I just want to do HP" before our trip, but wound up enthusiastic. Give your 12yo room to change her mind at the last minute and opt in if she wants to.

The parks are, by their nature, a "sensory overload" experience. Aside from the intensity of rides, there are crowds, noises, pushing and pulling; there are even scents and music piped in to make sure you don't have an un-stimulated moment. The Genie+/ILL/VQ systems have us on edge, feeling that we must fight competitively, and that if we relax and take our time we're leaving money and/or "fun" on the table. It sounds like your husband might enjoy some of the places that are oases from the stimuli. It's basically all the things that nobody tries to elbow their way into because they're not as exciting. Some of those, for me, off the top of my head:

• Tom Sawyer Island
• Tomorrowland People Mover
• Carousel of Progress and Hall of Presidents (though that might be a little too zen?)
• Epcot World Showcase in general, especially the garden areas of China and Japan
• Lots of corners of AK like the animal trails

And in general, many sit-down meals can provide a nice respite. Jiko was dim, tranquil, and an amazing meal. Sometimes the right table makes all the difference; the "butterfly booth" in Skipper's Canteen is awesome.

For folks who don't like rope drop... and don't like crowds... and prefer to be unplanned... sometimes evenings can be great times. If you get Extended Evening Hours, go for them; maybe consider buying an After Hours event? You get everything husband and 14-yo are looking for: relatively empty parks, do stuff in whatever order you want, and you can wake up at 7pm .

Thank you. Yes, he has PTSD. He’s actually a disabled veteran and we will stay at Shades of Green because he thinks it will be more relaxed and a more controlled environment when we are not in the parks. He will qualify for DAS and that will help with some go with the flow stuff. I did ask about him staying home. He said no. He does not remember Disney fondly with a few exceptions, but I do remember him enjoying some of it and saying he wanted to go back (he swears he never said such a thing). He could certainly stay at the hotel if he’s not up for the park or leave early. Some of it is his PTSD though. It’s a crowded place with a bunch of strangers. He wants to be there protect his family if something goes wrong. I know it’s Disney and safe. But that’s part of PTSD This is part of why planning is helpful. I could make sure we’d get several rides and a cool meal before his 4-5 hour tolerance level is up. But I guess that’s not really what they want. I guess I need to readjust what I want and stop equated doing a bunch with fun Disney trip.

I actually think the whole family might like Tom Sawyer Island. Thanks for the suggestion!

I might just suck it up and buy after hours tickets for the whole family knowing it could just be me and the 14 yo. He doesn’t want to commit ahead of time but it will be sold out by the day of. I wonder if extra tickets could be given to strangers we see in the park if they decide not to go?

 

[Darth Insidious]

If you were last there 7 yrs ago I think the main you will notice is the parks are a LOT more crowded then in the past. That translates into longer rides lines and not being able to do as much in a given day. No amount of advance planning will make the crowds any smaller. I think the idea to split up makes sense so everyone has some say in what they want to do. Good idea to discuss as a family before you leave home so everyone knows what others want to do. If you had very young children, that would be less of an issue, but clearly teens will want some voice in making decisions.

Make sure to check the official Disney website for current restaurant menus. Places like BOG have gone to those pricey fixed menus. Most of those types of places are VERY expensive.

Thank you. I was thinking a few weeks before the ADR window, I’d show them all what’s available in each park and ask for top choice restaurant and one or two must do things.

 

[Darth Insidious]

For something a little off the beaten path (but not that far), I'd recommend booking the Behind the Seeds tour at Epcot. It's an hour-ish long tour where you walk through Living with the Land and learn a lot about the agriculture behind the ride. Pretty relaxing and a little different.

Thank you.

 

[T.G.I.Friday]

I know what I’m going to suggest is very expensive, but I see that you have a lot of extras listed (after hours, day of thrills, spa, etc.), so maybe it is closer to being even if you do one big family thing instead of lots of other add ons.

Have you considered a VIP tour?

If you did it very early in the trip, it would give the family one day together to ride and see the parks. Then you could spend the rest of the trip redoing the rides you liked or strolling the parks or splitting as needed to accomplish everything. The tour would give your husband the ability to be shielded from crowds a bit and would also let your 12 year old decide on the fly if she wanted to try a ride or not.

The tour isn’t good for strolling or lots of snacking or the shows, but you could do that during the rest of your stay. Just an idea to consider!

 

[Dulcee]

Park hoppers will give you flexibility, especially if the park pass system sticks around. 10 days is a nice length of time so that also works in your favor and will allow you to go with the flow more. While not everyone is a fan, Genie+ will also let you go with the flow more than fast pass + did in the past.

One thing to note that I believe has changed since you were there last is they've really tightened up security around the monorail/TTC. This was a big stress point for my husband on every trip (law enforcement). He appreciated seeing that bag checks were now enforced before getting on the monorail at any point and that the choke point for security at Magic Kingdom was moved all the way back to the TTC.

 

[mickeyluv'r]

This sounds stressful.

A full year out is too far out to do much in the way of hard planning. For one thing, you have no idea what the weather will be. Any number of factors could change, and then you will just have to do it all over again.

By all means, keep track of what WDW has to offer, and when you will be able to book (dining, G+), but beyond that, mostly just sit on everything for now.

We usually book everything just a few months out, and even then, I only book the essentials. I book hotel, transportation to WDW, and maybe a few TS meals.

We don't usually split up very much. To me, it sounds like you are focusing too much on making 'the most' of every possible moment. To me, that doesn't sound like much fun. We are MUCH happier deciding in the moment what we want to do.

 

[Jnjtrio]

I think you need to come to an agreement on there needing to be a few things that have to be planned. Meals especially for air conditioning and sit down have to be planned. The breakfast at Shades of Green is really good so do at least one day where you are not rushing for rope drop and enjoy late breakfast, brunch? Epcot or Animal Kingdom day might be good for that. Get everyone excited for your 6 year old to experience Disney, remind the older kids - this is magical for her. Remind them to think of it in terms of just not about them.

Since you are staying at shades of green you will be eligible for Magic Kingdom and Epcot after hours which is only deluxe disney hotels and Swan/Dolphin/Shades. So you or your husband might be able to take your son for some extra rides as a special 1:1 time. You can walk to the Poly and view the fireworks at MK from the beach instead of being in the crowd on main street, grab an ice cream from the stand at Shades before you head out. Make your vacation about your family and not Disney, get a small list of must do's for everyone and anything else is just a magical extra.

DAS is a great tool but if he struggles with crowds and you are waiting to ride something. Go to those quiet areas in between, Tom Sawyer island, CoP, path around Tree of Life etc.

By the way your doing a great job MOM!!

 

[RoseGold]

I would be rethinking this whole thing, honestly. This sounds like your dream, not theirs. This is a four figure discussion. Honestly, you could go somewhere like Europe for the cost of Disney.

If your 6 year old wants a princess makeover, why not just go you and her and do two days for that? You don't have to drag a bunch of people who don't want to be there for this.

I'm particularly concerned about what you are doing to your husband. Disney is a crowded stressful experience, even for us nuts who want to be there. Current Disney is even more planned out and not spontaneous. This is putting a whole lot of stress on him. He doesn't like crowds, he doesn't want to go. Why do you need to spend thousands for him to do this? Think about what the equivalent trip would be for you. Would you be happy? For me, it would be flying somewhere and spending a bunch of money on some sports event. I don't want to be there. We spent 2K on this? What are we doing? I don't even know how to score this sport. I am actively not having a good time. I took off work with this? Why didn't you just go with your friend for a weekend?

TEN DAYS? I have an AP, own a ton of DVC, and am a Disney nut. Even I don't want to go to WDW for 10 days. This is a lot mom.

Edit to add: I just saw all the PTSD stuff, and I don't see why you are even considering this. Disney is one of the most crowded, chaotic, stressful, loud environments on earth. This would be like you having a painful skin condition that blisters in the cold and him dragging you skiing for ten days and lift tickets are $700. I don't get it. Why would you do this to him and risk so much? Just go with a friend for a couple days with the little one. The teenagers already went.

 

[loves to dive]

Splitting up is the way to go. Go with the flow is possible and probably the better option for your husband. I also agree with hoppers, they allow you to escape and go elsewhere if it gets too crowded. My hubby isn't a fan of crowds, rides, travel or walking. I usually go to WDW either solo or with my son. A few years ago hubby decided we could combine a trip there with a trip to the beach and camp in our rv at the park. He had been to MK and epcot when he was younger and had done a trip with the high school band where they played there and that was all he remembered. He went to the parks for about 3 hours in the mornings then went back to the rv and he and the dog rode around in the golf cart or just hung out. My son and I would go back for a few hours to eat with him then go back to the parks. It wasn't the best trip we have ever been on, hubby didn't even go to epcot but he enjoyed AK and the few hours at MK were enough for him. He sometimes says he will go back with me if we camp again but frankly I think we both found out it wasn't ideal. But at least he got to see a little of why we go and got to decide what he wanted to do.

 

[DeeBee3]

Agree you will need to split up. It is too far out to do detailed planning, but you could start making a list for each member of the family. Tell them they get to pick a "top 5" things they want to do/experience. It could be a certain ride, show, restaurant, just pool time, etc.

As the next few months go by, you can tweak the list if needed. Have the kids watch YouTube videos from some of the big vloggers. It would give them better ideas of the atmosphere and rides.

Everything is crowded so your husband should probably watch some videos himself. Just so he is prepared visually for what it may look like. February isn't a crazy month, but I asume you may be going around Presidents' Day weekend? If that is the case, it will be crowded for sure.

I'd just start with the lists and make a budget. All those extras will add up big time and Park Hoppers are big money too. PLUS, you have to tap in to the 1st reserved park in order to get to the 2nd park later in the day. You can't hope that will change and then be disappointed.

And I agree with husband, take rest days where you do nothing but lounge and go at a slow pace. There are TONS of things to do that do not involve parks.

Hope everyone cheers up! You don't want to spend a ton and then no one enjoys it. Good luck!

 

[jo-jo]

I only want to add, have you priced all the items you've mentioned? Disney prices are crazy and have gotten worse in the last few years.

Just want you to be prepared for price shock on top of planning things to do.

 

[Darth Insidious]

I know what I’m going to suggest is very expensive, but I see that you have a lot of extras listed (after hours, day of thrills, spa, etc.), so maybe it is closer to being even if you do one big family thing instead of lots of other add ons.

Have you considered a VIP tour?

If you did it very early in the trip, it would give the family one day together to ride and see the parks. Then you could spend the rest of the trip redoing the rides you liked or strolling the parks or splitting as needed to accomplish everything. The tour would give your husband the ability to be shielded from crowds a bit and would also let your 12 year old decide on the fly if she wanted to try a ride or not.

The tour isn’t good for strolling or lots of snacking or the shows, but you could do that during the rest of your stay. Just an idea to consider!

Thank you. I have considered it (and still am). It’s a lot of money but I could do it in place of all the other stuff. I couldn’t really do both (after hours, fireworks cruise, etc plus the VIP tour). I’m kicking around the idea of this and then as you said the rest of the time re-ride favorites, let the little one meet characters, go to show, etc.

What do mean by shielding him from the crowd? I know the sometimes take shortcuts and will drive between parks. Anything that gets him out of crowds is a win for us. I know it’s Disney so there are going to be crowds but I definitely appreciate any tips!

 

[Darth Insidious]

Park hoppers will give you flexibility, especially if the park pass system sticks around. 10 days is a nice length of time so that also works in your favor and will allow you to go with the flow more. While not everyone is a fan, Genie+ will also let you go with the flow more than fast pass + did in the past.

One thing to note that I believe has changed since you were there last is they've really tightened up security around the monorail/TTC. This was a big stress point for my husband on every trip (law enforcement). He appreciated seeing that bag checks were now enforced before getting on the monorail at any point and that the choke point for security at Magic Kingdom was moved all the way back to the TTC.

Thank you. It might also make him feel better to get through security (which is stressful for him) a little before walking into the parks!