Public restroom-be very aware of your surroundings

[Pea-n-Me]

I don't think anybody is saying otherwise. Who would urge somebody NOT to act defensively if they felt unsafe? The discussion has now just gone in the direction of what our own gut-reactions are. It's not a matter of "affirming or disregarding" the OP, nor does it turn this into a controversial topic.

No? I do. The OP came here to share something that upset her and to offer a PSA. Several posters downplayed her reaction AND we now have a discussion (debate?) about gendered bathrooms. Gotta love it.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Most newer restrooms I have seen in buildings go more single use ( gender neutral) bath over here in Germany ( makes no sense to make two baths with one stall that is gender specific.. Just make two universal baths so if let's say 2 girls gotta pee and no man.. they both go.. why have one wait while the other is not in use, type thing. Unless it's a large place ( malls, airports) still gender mainly as the men's have a urinal section.

I'm more meaning larger places for new construction where you'd see more multi-stalls. Even in a place like Vegas hotels don't often have one encompassing restroom, they still have multi-stalls. Some are bigger than others but it would be a lot more expensive and service less people to not have multi-stalls.

I can't tell you if this is how it will end up being but this was the digital rendering from several years ago for the new airport. I'm interested to see if this is how close one of the all-gendered bathrooms ends up being with this rendering.

 

[ronandannette]

No? I do. The OP came here to share something that upset her and to offer a PSA. Several posters downplayed her reaction AND we now have a discussion (debate?) about gendered bathrooms. Gotta love it.

Who's debating that? There have been comments about whether or not there's "legality" involved, and speculation on the future of communal bathrooms at all (as compared to multiple single-person facilities). Have some posts been scrubbed or have I missed something?

 

[luv2cheer92]

No? I do. The OP came here to share something that upset her and to offer a PSA. Several posters downplayed her reaction AND we now have a discussion (debate?) about gendered bathrooms. Gotta love it.

Have posts been deleted? I'm not seeing anything even remotely like any of that.

 

[wenrob]

I'm not sure, they just remodeled one of the main bathrooms in our Union Station and it caught both my husband and I off guard because it was a central hand washing sinks and then to the left was mens to the right womens but the hand washing was shared.

In our new airport set to open in a week and a half there will be all-gendered bathrooms where it's just like gendered with multiple stalls although according to what I could find it would have floor to ceiling doors. Gendered bathrooms will still be available. There should be videos soon of it up as I'd like to see how it will all look, right now thousands of volunteers are trying out the new airport in general. One thing I do like is there will be adult changing rooms. It's supposed to be basically the most inclusive airport built thus far from gender to disability.

I think the opposite is likely to occur, more and more gender-neutral options rather than single bathrooms, I think that's more just space because it takes up a lot of space to do multiple single bathrooms than multi-stalled ones. But I think we all would like more stall privacy!

The ones I saw in various places in Seattle were like a hallway of single bathrooms. No signs, all gender neutral. The exceptions were The Market where the stalls were shockingly short, like why bother with a door and Climate Pledge Arena where they were your traditional men/women stalls bathrooms. I’m all for gender neutral with actual doors. Anything to make the line shorter considering I *always* have to pee.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I’m all for gender neutral with actual doors.

Absolutely, I know the privacy was a main concern with our new airport restrooms. I know we're all like used to the sorry excuse for stalls here but I would love to have more privacy myself regardless of all-gendered or not.

Anything to make the line shorter considering I *always* have to pee.

Amen to that! I'm usually trying to get that one last trip out before boarding the plane too. It was a few weeks back in Orlando for our connection coming from Puerto Rico that I found myself having to walk and walk and walk because the one bathroom closest to the gates there had a line out the door for the women's as a plane had just landed and the next closest was closed for cleaning. I would have loved an option to just go in and out at that time.

 

[Living42Day]

It is never appropriate to look over the stall at someone, period. If some concerning noises were going on, why wouldn't the man in question verbalize his concerns and engage the OP that way. Kinda sus that he just happened to identify as female and use the women's restroom, then happened to maybe hear a noise that just didn't sit right so had to set his eyes on OP when privacy should be expected?

Taking a peek over the stall isn't a normal or appropriate response. To those who think it is, would you also be ok with a man coming into a changing room and peeking over the top of the other room because he heard concerning noises (his excuse, not based in fact)? Locker rooms?

Women's purses have been stolen from the hook near the top of the door (easy to reach over and grab). Heck, people have been recorded because someone slipped a phone over the door. And, OP, not to unsettle you further but just because you are 59 does not mean that he wasn't targeting you for potential sexual assault. Evil doesn't discriminate.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Have posts been deleted? I'm not seeing anything even remotely like any of that.

 

[mousefan73]

I'm more meaning larger places for new construction where you'd see more multi-stalls. Even in a place like Vegas hotels don't often have one encompassing restroom, they still have multi-stalls. Some are bigger than others but it would be a lot more expensive and service less people to not have multi-stalls.

I can't tell you if this is how it will end up being but this was the digital rendering from several years ago for the new airport. I'm interested to see if this is how close one of the all-gendered bathrooms ends up being with this rendering.

View attachment 740858

That is interesting. I asked we have a communal handwashing area at our main train station, but still two different sites for male and female. Mainly because the male side is also split with toilets and urinals.

 

[GreatLakes]

Question from a European: What is going on the US that adult women need a man standing guard at the restroom? Is it so incredibly common for women to be ambushed by men in a restroom?

Nothing. I have never escorted my wife to the restroom and stood outside. I think it is a weird thing to do but maybe we just live on the wild side.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I asked we have a communal handwashing area at our main train station, but still two different sites for male and female.

That's how it is for the remodeled bathrooms I saw in our Union Station (at least the one we've used before). We went last January for an exhibit and they were like the older way, but in December when we went again for an exhibit it was like the description above. You actually walked right into the sink area which was visible from outside the restroom and then it split off on each side.

Supposedly there's supposed to be one all-gendered bathroom in each concourse for the new airport so they aren't trying to replace completely just give that option for those who either don't care or those who would prefer gender-neutral bathrooms. But the design at least from the renderings is more open and co-mingling I guess is the word I would use than I've seen before.

 

[Living42Day]

Question from a European: What is going on the US that adult women need a man standing guard at the restroom? Is it so incredibly common for women to be ambushed by men in a restroom?

My friend stood outside the restroom because there was a group of rowdy guys hanging out near that end of the bar. Not a typical occurrence, but people here want to look out for each other even if they are adults.

Question from the US: What is going on in Europe that it would be a totally normal for a man to peek over a stall at another person (male or female) while they are using the restroom?

 

[Disneylover99]

It is never appropriate to look over the stall at someone, period. If some concerning noises were going on, why wouldn't the man in question verbalize his concerns and engage the OP that way. Kinda sus that he just happened to identify as female and use the women's restroom, then happened to maybe hear a noise that just didn't sit right so had to set his eyes on OP when privacy should be expected?

Taking a peek over the stall isn't a normal or appropriate response. To those who think it is, would you also be ok with a man coming into a changing room and peeking over the top of the other room because he heard concerning noises (his excuse, not based in fact)? Locker rooms?

Women's purses have been stolen from the hook near the top of the door (easy to reach over and grab). Heck, people have been recorded because someone slipped a phone over the door. And, OP, not to unsettle you further but just because you are 59 does not mean that he wasn't targeting you for potential sexual assault. Evil doesn't discriminate.

Exactly.
If you hear someone making a strange sound in a stall, you’re first response is going to ask them if they’re okay, or if they need help, not to immediately climb the toilet seat next door and peek over, without saying a word. Lol.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Sorry that happened to you OP.

However I’m on the side of others that think it’s so weird that husband waits outside the washroom.
What do you do when out without him?
That behaviour seems rather controlling. It’s never crossed my mind to have my husband do this.

 

[TinkAgainU]

Question from a European: What is going on the US that adult women need a man standing guard at the restroom? Is it so incredibly common for women to be ambushed by men in a restroom?

Short answer: no. I've never been concerned entering a bathroom unless in a very dark location, very remote location, or bad neighborhood. Pretty sure I've never asked a guy to walk me to a restroom in my life.

Also, most restrooms in large casinos are in high traffic areas, well lit, and camera monitored. Vegas casinos are hyper aware of risks to intoxicated gamblers. I tend to only go to the "upscale" casinos which seem to have restrooms pretty well located now that I think of it. Moral to the story - be aware of your surroundings - and only go to fancy casinos

 

[Karin1984]

**

My friend stood outside the restroom because there was a group of rowdy guys hanging out near that end of the bar. Not a typical occurrence, but people here want to look out for each other even if they are adults.

Question from the US: What is going on in Europe that it would be a totally normal for a man to peek over a stall at another person (male or female) while they are using the restroom?

No, it is not normal either on this side of the pond either. Describing it as something out of a horror movie is more uncommon. I think most of us would shrug it off, yell the perv to get out and go on with their lives. How it is described is as if he came at her with a machete.

I would take her warning a lot more serious without the hyperbolic language.

I am all for supporting women in vulnerable moments, but I am also for not blowing things out of proportions and not installing fear on others.

 

[MillauFr]

View attachment 740877

Were posts deleted?

 

[DLgal]

Short answer: no. I've never been concerned entering a bathroom unless in a very dark location, very remote location, or bad neighborhood. Pretty sure I've never asked a guy to walk me to a restroom in my life.

Also, most restrooms in large casinos are in high traffic areas, well lit, and camera monitored. Vegas casinos are hyper aware of risks to intoxicated gamblers. I tend to only go to the "upscale" casinos which seem to have restrooms pretty well located now that I think of it. Moral to the story - be aware of your surroundings - and only go to fancy casinos

This is why I asked what casino this was. I've been to Vegas plenty of times and we stick to the major strip properties. I have never, ever even remotely felt unsafe using the restroom alone at any of them. I am curious where this happened, but of course, OP hasn't answered...

 

[sam_gordon]

To me it's quite a stretch that this man is up to no good.

Disagree. It is NEVER appropriate to look over the stall without at least attempting to communicate with that person first. If you think something is wrong (based on whatever you hear), an "are you OK?" is appropriate. Even asking a 2nd or 3rd time would be called for before standing on the commode and peaking over the stall.

Heck, even if it's your child (or any other relation), it's uncalled for until you try to communicate with them.

Option 1: He is a peeping tom. Not likely. He would have been in the bathroom the entire evening and probably looking through the gaps at the door, as there is less risk, and a better view.
Option 2: He wanted to do more than just peep. Unlikely, as he has a better chance overpowering her when she comes and and push her back in. But if he wanted to overpower a woman, he would probably have chosen a frail-looking woman. (like the girl in Florida the previous poster referred to)
Option 3: He wanted to steel her purse. It then doesn't make sense to look over the bathroom wall when the intent is to steal, as you probably cannot reach a purse on a floor, on the lap or hanging at the door. You have a better chance to kneel and reach from under the door, if the purse is on the floor. And there must be better ways in Vegas to pickpocket and steel purses, as everyone is focused on their games.

Never try to think about the logic of someone who does something wrong. Here's a prime example... you mention a criminal would want to choose someone "frail-looking". Here's a 24yo woman attacked in a gym. She doesn't look "frail" to me. Why attack someone who could probably beat the snot out of you?
https://www.usatoday.com/videos/new...cker-while-alone-gym-man-charged/11276335002/

 

[Wendy31]

The full enclosed stall is one reason why people love Buc ees bathrooms!

Bucees are CRAZY, but I’ll suffer through the craziness for the wonderful, clean restrooms w/ the enclosed stalls. And, no matter how crazy-crowded it is, there are always open stalls w/ no lines - even in the women’s side.

This past week, we drove to Michigan for a funeral, & we were so excited to find a Bucees in Kentucky. We had no idea that they were that far north!

Also, for those that are wondering about America, I’ve never felt the need for my husband to walk me to a restroom and/or stand guard while I was in the restroom.

That said, it’s also very NOT normal behavior for anyone - man or woman - to peer over the top of a stall into another stall. And I think that it would, at the very least, startle anyone, &, depending on the situation, could very easily frighten someone.

Edited to Add - I also agree that everyone has different levels of personal safety & how/where they feel safe/unsafe. And being observant & having situational awareness are skills everyone needs.