6 Days: Single Parent, Disabilities, Multiple Food Allergies, Vegetarian

[MommaMouseketeer]

I have what is medically classified as severe arthritis (though I would call it moderate since it was caught early enough to so far avoid any significant deformity) in addition to several other auto-immune disorders. I was at Disneyland with my two children Mon-Thur and on Fri was joined by my husband and in-laws for my daughter's birthday and Saturday by my husband.

My 10-yr-old has generalized anxiety. She does not do well when put on the spot and is very sensitive to anxiety-inducing sights and sounds most of us take for granted such as the action music in a movie. She does not handle surprises well. She needs to have consistency in her eating and sleeping schedules in order to have the most emotional energy to put to new surroundings and she needs to know exactly what is going to happen with all the possible variations in order to stay even-keeled.

My 2-yr-old son has sensory processing disorder (also called sensory integration disorder) as well as several other neurological disorders. He is regularly followed by seven specialists and is at the children's hospital on average 2-4 days a week. He also had an ear infection he was being treated for, which created two issues I had to keep an eye on: since he can't process pain correctly, he becomes aggressive when in pain. And he has life-threatening grand mal seizures with fever. None of his challenges affect his strength or intelligence, so he's smart and strong in addition to being quite a cutie. As the saying goes: if you've met one person with SPD, you've met one person with SPD. For my son, his disregulation causes him to seek proprioceptive input (banging, crashing, slamming, pressure) and to become quickly overwhelmed with sensory input, especially at transitions. The confined and low-input environment in long lines provides just enough freedom of movement for him to get out of control. I was envisioning him trying to slam into the railings or the people around us, trying to hang from and climb over the railings, etc. Every young child does this to a certain degree; with my son it is not a behavioral issue but a neurological disorder out of his control so telling him not to do it isn't effective. With my arthritis, trying to hold a strong-willed and physically agile child who was sensory-seeking was going to be a challenge and I didn't know how it would go. My daughter's anxiety did not allow a lot of flexibility, so I tried to do as much planning and preparation as possible before we left. I took the advice of a forum member and headed to City Hall upon arrival for our Guest Assistance Card. I almost didn't go there first because I've read here how very important it is to get to Peter Pan and Dumbo at opening if you expect to get on them. I'm glad I took his advice. I also recommend getting the GAC first if one is needed.

The ability to keep my son in his stroller where he was in a five-point harness and thus getting snug proprioceptive input during our wait made a HUGE difference in our Disneyland experience! I was able to take him straight from the stroller to the seat of the ride without his feet ever touching the ground. We were still only able to do about half a day before we'd have to go back to the hotel for a long nap followed by tons of sensory work, but the GAC card made the difference between the time in the park being miserable for us and those around us or being a pretty typical (and exhausting!) family vacation.

By the end of the first day, I was calling my pharmacist asking what combination of drugs I could take in order to have the strongest effect to address my joint and muscle pain and the headache I had from the sun. By the end of the second day, the ability to keep him in his stroller was just as much a benefit to me with my arthritis as it was to him with his SPD. By the fourth day, I couldn't physically lift him in and out of the stroller at times and had to change our ride schedule accordingly. For example, by Thursday morning, I no longer folded the stroller and allowed him to ride on the monorail seat but used it as a wheelchair and pushed it on because I could no longer hold him, the bags, and the stroller. We also had to skip Golden Zephyr because their elevator was not working and I couldn't carry him up the stairs. By the fifth day, I don't know what I would have done without my husband there to help.

I found Disneyland to be much better than DCA because the transfer point at DCA was usually much further back. I found the Disneyland CMs to be extremely kind, especially the Fantasyland CMs save one at the tea cups whose lack of smiley cheerfulness stood out in comparison to her co-workers. And that's saying a lot! When they'd see our GAC, they'd smile and say something like, "Wonderful! Come right this way and we'll..." telling us what to expect about getting on and getting off. Several gave us little tips or pointers about the rides and accessibility and Norma in Critter Country was amazing. We skipped all the other character lines unless we happened upon them at an unusually slow period, but my son really wanted to see Pooh. I didn't think it was going to be able to happen, but I asked what we could do. I didn't mind the wait, but it was the long stand in line that was so hard. Some of those character waits were 90 minutes and neither I nor my son could do that. Norma had us wait on a nearby bench in the shade then called us over during a lull in the Pooh line. My son got Tigger and Pooh in one picture because of her, then she made sure my daughter got the picture she was really wanting, too. I was so VERY grateful. She really made the trip magical for my kids. The California Adventure CMs were not nearly as cheerful or helpful, but none were inappropriate. The only place they were consistently cheerful in DCA was at Soaring Over CA. They'd tell us at Soaring to let them know if we needed any help and not to worry about the stroller that they'd take care of it. We usually had to find our own way in DCA and just wait to see what they'd do.

Monday morning we spent at Disneyland, Monday afternoon we ate at Blue Bayou and had an amazing experience, then the rest of the day we spent back at the hotel with a long nap. I really felt like I could do this! I overestimated on our second day and that turned out to be our hardest. On Tuesday, we did a Magic Morning at Disneyland then hopped over to DCA when they opened. I got my first comment from a guest while we were in the Nemo line with someone saying something about me having a stroller in line when they had to leave theirs. I got several little things like that all on the same morning, causing me to feel conspicuous and a little stressed. Then with DCA being less helpful, I felt pressured to get in as much as possible. I tried staying through the day for the Word of Color show because I knew if we went back to the hotel that we wouldn't be able to make it back out. My son was OK, but I took on too much for myself. By 7PM, I hurt too much to continue. I decided to use the disability section (despite it being the highest and furthest back and thus not the greatest view) so I could sit on a bench. I had to go through three CMs who checked our GAC and fastpass, but they were all very helpful. Apparently there were several disability seating sections and we happened upon the blue one at the corner of the pier and as we had a blue fastpass, we were able to go there. I did not have the energy to scope out good seating by that point and didn't even know if we'd make it through the show at all. As soon as we stopped moving, my son became sensory seeking so he was overly active while I was in considerable pain while my daughter was really looking forward to the show and expecting to see it. I decided to see it through but knew we would not be having another day like that one on the trip. I met some really neat people around me. A young lady who was in a diabetic low she was treating, a young woman whose joints hyperextend and she did something like dislocated her knee on some stairs earlier in the day, an older gentleman who was there with his grandchildren, a very pregnant woman there with her two young children, a young woman who had no knee cartilage and was facing a knee replacement surgery, and a few others were all seated together in our area. There were 6 or 8 benches, IIRC, and then a large area for wheelchairs and ECVs. The wheelchairs and ECVs get priority for the railing in the disability section. My daughter sat on the ground at my feet to avoid taking up bench space. It wasn't anything I'd recommend if you weren't needing it, but it was heaven for me at the time.

A relative of someone in another section of the disability seating decided to appoint herself the disability police and she kept coming over to our section telling us that the benches were only for the disabled. We'd all nod and smile and go back to our discussions. At the end of the show, she came all the way back over to us and tapped me on the shoulder and forcefully said, "You deserve a spanking." Can you imagine?! She said there were 400lb people who couldn't stand who had to do without a seat because of us young women stealing their disability seating. I told her she was not the disability police, that she had no concept what she was talking about, and I did not have to justify myself to her. She went on about how I was just lazy and selfish and how she has 4 children and wouldn't do such a thing. I told her she should be ashamed of herself and left. Definitely not an attitude I expected to encounter within the disability community! I hope her family was sufficiently embarrassed on her behalf because the woman had no shame. Two older ladies made a point of coming over to tell me she was out of line and to not let her spoil my evening with my beautiful family. The CMs ignored her the entire time. That night after I reflected on it, I decided that she must have had a very easy life to have no concept of disability looking as happy as our family and I wasn't going to let another ignorant person disturb my peace.

I saw people with shirts or buttons that said things like, "I'm not misbehaving. I have autism. Please be understanding." I understood why they did it, but I decided I would not apologize or justify my family to strangers. I went through the process of explaining our challenges to the CM at City Hall then of showing my guest assistance card between 1 and 4 times per ride in addition to handling all of my family's needs on my own while we were there and I did not owe an explanation to curious or nosy or judgmental strangers, the majority of whom didn't even notice us because I was doing such a great job of just enjoying our vacation like everyone else. I recalled something my friend frequently says: "Other people's opinion of me is none of my business." I decided to make it my motto for the rest of the trip and I was much happier for it. One thing that also made that easier was that once we explained everything to the CM at City Hall, we did not have to re-explain our particular challenges to anyone else, but just had to show the card. When you're used to explaining the medical history 50 times over, having a 6-day break from it really does feel like a magical vacation.

On my own, I think 4 days between the parks was enough and 5 allowed us to do absolutely everything. We got a lot more done when my husband was with us. He would hold our son in the regular line if it was less than 10-15 minutes instead of using the stroller as he's physically able to do that. We used fastpasses for the height restriction rides (Indiana Jones, Goofy's Sky School, CA Screamin') and we were able to do all the rides my husband wanted to get in from both parks within the two days he was there, even though the days were the most crowded of the entire trip (Fri and Sat of Memorial Day Weekend).

I am glad I:
-Took a heating pad.
-Placed a Vons order and packed in our food.
-Took all my medicines with me, even the ones I don't usually need because I did need them there.
-Read reports from people who had faced the same challenges as us, especially those who seemed to have similar personalities as me so I could really see myself there.
-Asked for help when I needed it.
-Called ahead and spoke to the chefs directly so I knew what to expect from them.
-Was willing to change our plans when opportunities arose.
-Watched videos on YouTube with my daughter of the rides and shows so she knew what would happen.
-Let the kids sleep in when they needed it, even though it meant "missing" something.
-Dropped trying to get cutesy matching outfits together and just put nice and appropriate outfits in the bag to choose from.
-Took a sign to the Jedi Training Academy.
-Got and used the GAC we needed right from the start.
-Allowed myself to enjoy the time, too.
-Went to Disneyland.

If I had it to do again, I would:
-Skip Nemo, Mad Hatter, and Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin with my son. The quiet focus for Nemo and the close quarters was too much for him, as was the spinning of Mad Hatter and RRCTS.
-Have one hotel from the moment I arrived until the moment I left.
-Not worry about staying on-property or off-property.
-Not worry about package add-ons like priority seating.
-Have a babysitter/mother's helper/someone come help with the kids while I packed.
-Have strong drugs for me for the night time.
-Have a much better stroller easier on the hands when turning and able to hold a lot more than the standard full-size Target stroller we use for traveling.
-Make full use of the GAC on the earlier days (such as on the monorail or when asked if we could do stairs at Autopia) in order to pace myself for the whole trip.
-Not worry about getting to the early mornings and would do only two late nights, planning for late mornings the following days.
-Plan on 3-5 days in the park as a single parent or 2-4 with both parents.
-Not worry about what we were going to miss, but would enjoy what we were doing in the moment.
-Not engage and would ask for security or a CM if I was harassed again.
-Smile at every person and not allow anyone to disturb my family's peace or joy.

 

[MommaMouseketeer]

Dining
On Monday through Thursday, our party of three included an ovo-lacto vegetarian with a mango allergy, one ovo-vegetarian with milk and soy allergies, and one picky eater with milk and soy allergies. My mango allergy is usually a non-issue, but I found mango all over the place at Disneyland. On Friday, our party of six added one person on a heart-healthy diet who doesn't like trying new foods and one picky eater on a Southbeach/low-carb type diet. I planned to pack in the majority of our food, but wanted two sit-down meals: one character dining (it was included in our package) and one birthday lunch or dinner. I emailed the Special Diets address about our food restrictions asking for guidance on our options. I did not get the kind of suggestions I was hoping for so after a couple emails back and forth, I decided on Ariel's Grotto and Napa Rose because of what I'd read about them from online forums.

Chef Natalie at Ariel's Grotto called me back and planned a meal for us. I was really impressed both with her attitude and the meal we planned. You could hear her smile over the phone. She'd read my whole email and came up with great suggestions that fit our needs and desires perfectly. She handed us off to a scheduler right there to book our time and let us know she'd be there then to make the meal we planned.

Shortly after talking to Chef Natalie, the sous chef of the Napa Rose called. He said he had not read my email and would just talk to me. He was not familiar with the term ovo-lacto vegetarian. He told me that we could just talk to the waitress when we arrived and she'd convey our restrictions to him then and he'd come up with something on the spot. He said he really liked the challenge of special diets because it allows him to be creative and to think out of the box. I expressed to him that I'm a Type-A mom scheduling a birthday meal for a picky eater with multiple food allergies, so I'd like a little less spontaneity. When I asked him for some examples of what he was thinking of, he came up with nothing but just repeated how he likes the challenge. He said he'd email me his phone number so I could call or come by on the morning of the lunch to talk over the options with him, which he promptly did. I explained in the email he didn't read that I wanted to arrange it all before the vacation because doing it in front of my daughter and my high-anxiety mother-in-law was stressful for all involved, so the phone call on the morning of the birthday was not at all helpful. I read some reviews about disappointing experiences of taking things on the fly at the Napa Rose, such as one woman who told the sous chef she didn't like a particular kind of nut then had almost every dish come out with them. As he said he'd be the chef on duty for that date, I had a foreboding feeling that we were going to be equally disappointed. I didn't see any alternative options for the nice birthday meal I wanted, either, so I was pretty disappointed.

On Sunday as we were leaving, I called to confirm our character dining reservations. I found out after a lengthy conversation that the scheduler accidentally put us on the wrong week. I was running up and down stairs putting luggage in the car trying to talk to them and figure out what we can do. I finally had a new dining time and a message left on Chef Natalie's phone hoping she'd be there at the new time to implement the meal we'd discussed. I was a little stressed that it was all up in the air again so close to travel time after I'd done so much to make sure that part of the trip was taken care of. Chef Natalie called back on Tuesday morning with a smile in her voice to say she heard my message, wrote down our new time, and would be ready for us. I could have kissed the woman! After such a hassle with the others, everything was smooth sailing with her.

Blue Bayou
On Monday, I wore the kids plum out and they were in a bit of a zone by the afternoon when we passed by the Blue Bayou. I remembered a lot of positive reviews for a vegetarian-friendly sandwich eaten waterside and I didn't know if I'd have another opportunity to try it out, so I decided to stop in. I can't express how impressed I was with Chef Moises! When we walked up, they said it was a 45min wait for waterside. I thought the youngest might fall asleep if we hung out in the cool, dark lobby so I wanted to try. I was concerned, though, that we might wait 45 mins and get seated only to find out there was no food we could eat. The CM said oh no, that she'd bring the chef out right now to talk to us about our special diets. She had me wait in the lobby and Chef Moises came out and met with us there to discuss options. He was warm and helpful so I was hopeful and said to the hostess that we would like a waterside table for 3. She told me they weren't accepting walk-ins any longer. I was surprised and disappointed. I explained what happened and she told me to hang on then came back quickly to say they would make an exception for me since I was talking to the chef and so she'd get me in in 15-20 minutes! I was thrilled! They called me quite quickly and took me to the first table at the restaurant entrance. I asked if I was not going to be able to sit waterside and the CM said that request wasn't noted on my ticket. I assume it was forgotten because of the no-walk-ins conversation that ensued after my waterside request. She said I'd have to wait another 15-20 mins for waterside or she could get me second row immediately. I told her I'd rather wait if it was OK and she was very kind in saying they'd get me back in as quickly as possible and apologizing to me as she walked me back out. No hint of frustration of exasperation over the confusion from her and still attentive care. I was impressed already. It wasn't long at all before we were called again and seated waterside.

THEN Chef Moises returned to our table with pencil and paper to discuss our meal options in detail. He wrote down the allergies and the plan, listed as Person 1, Person 2, and Person 3 in his notepad with the restrictions and what he was going to make for each. Now I was in awe. He was fantastic to talk to with on-point recommendations for every diet and a warm, personable guy with attention to detail. I was actually excited and at ease about eating out, which is saying a lot.

My picky eater was disappointed that she couldn't eat the potatoes because of her milk allergy and she eschewed his offerings of spinach, pasta, and something else. She was anxious, hyperventilating, and unable to communicate what she wanted. He didn't bat an eye at it and asked if she would like french fries. She enthusiastically agreed and THEN he said that they don't have french fries at Blue Bayou but there are some next door that he'll go get for her. And all with a genuine smile. I was speechless! SO impressed! I almost swooned! LOL!

And THEN the food was all delicious! I had a Monte Cristo sandwich with blueberry jam, green beans with mushrooms, and the potatoes. That sandwich was to die for! And massive. I could have been full on a quarter of it. The jam was ingenious and delicious! And I don't even like cheese! I was so impressed that I decided to return to Blue Bayou for our birthday lunch.

Ariel's Grotto
The next time we ate out was at Ariel's Grotto. I was unprepared for how the character dining experience works. We were put into a group of people who went downstairs in a pack. I was telling my kids that they'd get to meet Ariel there. When they were both running to her, the CM told me in a perfunctory way that we're allowed one picture per party. It did not matter that I had two kids; it was one picture per party. They already had snapped a bad picture and shooed us off before I could process what happened. I told the hostess that it was my daughter's birthday and I wanted a picture of just her with Ariel so they approved us to do a "re-shoot" with my daughter and Ariel, which was another 3 second snapshot. We hadn't even had time to get our legs under the table when a guy came to our table trying to sell us the picture for something like $36. The waitstaff had no idea how to handle our special diets, brought us food we couldn't eat even after telling them that the chef had a special meal planned for our diet, seemed perturbed with us for being different, and the whole place was just grouchy and like an assembly line. Then a bugle sound would go off and a princess would emerge to sign autographs and snap a picture before moving on. They seemed quite apathetic with plastic smiles. We had the picture peddlers return two more times through the meal. The place was loud, busy, and stressful.

Then Chef Natalie came out to meet us with her warm smile and a presence like the world stood still for whatever was in front of her. She had the sous chef making the red sauce and the glaze for the salmon was prepared. Everything was in order. She was such a breath of fresh air and didn't seem at all like she belonged in the same place as the wait staff we were encountering. I was at ease about the food and decided I was glad we'd done one character dining and found out the atmosphere just wasn't our family's cup of tea. A little later, the waitress came back to ask what my son would eat. I thought we'd decided he was eating the same thing as me. The waitress told me since my son is two that his meal is free so she didn't want to give him anything expensive. I was just getting spaghetti and vegetables, so it wasn't anything fancy but we were there for my daughter so I didn't mind the lack of fanciness on my part. She kept on about the expense, making me feel like I was jipping the restaurant or something for him to have spaghetti, too! Between how loud the restaurant was, her discussing this over the children instead of coming to stand beside me, and her broken English, I picked up that they were going to give me less spaghetti in order to give him some of mine. I thought the whole conversation was very unprofessional and inappropriately handled.

Our food that came out was fabulous. Our salad tier had greens and julienned cucumber on bottom, tomatoes, peppers, and sweet pickles in the middle, and fresh fruit on top. Our main courses were an orange-honey glazed salmon with steamed squashes and wild rice and a fabulous spaghetti with a delicious red sauce actually worth ordering. Not the watered down tasteless stuff I usually get in restaurants. It was full of squashes and was a fabulous meal. And dessert was a cup of berries with a raspberry sorbet and a sprig of mint. Just yummy! I wish I could have experienced Chef Natalie and her food at a slower-paced restaurant and would have happily foregone the princesses to get it!

Blue Bayou Birthday Meal
For the birthday meal, we showed up at Blue Bayou around 11:15 to try to get our party of six in once they started serving lunch. We wanted to try for lunch first in case they couldn't get us in we could come back and try again for dinner. We were pleasantly surprised when they seated us around 11:35 at the waterside and the sous chef came out. We re-ordered the same foods from earlier in the week for the three of us with the exception of ordering pasta instead of the french fries for my daughter. The sous chef was matter-of-fact and left without even a happy birthday or a smile. My vegetarian salad came out with no nuts and no cheese. Once I could finally flag down our waitress, I asked about the nuts which were a main part of the salad and one of the few sources of protein available to me. She said they have butter on them so I was not served them. I explained that I am not dairy-free, only the kids are. I didn't know if she heard me as she was already walking off and I got no response so I finally started eating the dry greens. About 7 minutes later, she brought me a small cup of nuts without commentary. When my plate came out, it had no potatoes and I tried to flag down the waitress but finally gave up. I knew I'd be too full anyway, but it made no sense that they'd make me a cheese sandwich but wouldn't plate potatoes that have cream in them with it, but whatever. I was concerned that the kids' plates might be similarly messed up but they were correct with the standard bland spaghetti on them, so he apparently did all three of us as dairy-free. We went long periods with empty cups and we did finally get drink refills when I was able to mention the lack of potatoes. By the time we were finishing our food, the waitress brought a large plate of potatoes for me, which was rather pointless. The atmosphere was great and the food we were served was delicious (monte cristo, vegetarian monte cristo, crab cakes, and some sort of meat and potatoes), but the experience was less than the stellar one I'd had earlier in the week. I suspect that Chef Moises' attention to detail as well as the later (and thus slower) time on Monday were the primary factors in the different experiences.

Schmoozies and Fruit Cart
On Saturday, we stopped at Schmoozies across from the Animation Academy. We were disappointed that all their smoothies came standard with yogurt. They seemed a little chaotic so we didn't bother asking about the possibility of a dairy-free smoothie. We ordered two juices, one frappe, and one cappuccino. They finished the cold drinks quickly then left them sitting on their counter with the ice melting while they took about 8 minutes to make the cappuccino. We walked to the fruit cart beside it and picked up some bananas and a fruit leather as we'd run out of our fruit by then. Their hummus cups was disproportionately expensive so I was happy we brought our own.

Harbour Galley
On Saturday night, we decided to try the Harbour Galley's vegetarian chili bread bowl. I walked up and asked about the ingredients and found them to be extremely helpful. They had a binder with every ingredient label in it and gave it to me on the correct page promptly. The CM was able to tell me immediately and without prompting about an ingredient change in the chili; she knew exactly what the difference was. I was quite pleased to find that the vegetarian chili was also soy-free. The one meal met all of our special diets. We happily ate the warm food as we sat by the cold water waiting for Fantasmic. The chili wasn't anything worth raving about, but it was fast, easy, warm, and good. With the bread, one chili bowl fed two of us. Thumbs up from us!