ADHD, Petite Mal Epilepsy & Tantrums- Help!!

[JoiseyMom]

Ok DD is going to be 11, she was diagnosed with Epilepsy 3 years ago. She also has ADHD and more recently Tourettes. She is currently on Keppra and Lamictal for her Epilepsy and has been seizure free for 2 years. She takes Clonidine to help her sleep at night. She is also on the Daytrana Patch for the ADHD.

Ok, the patch has been working great!! Her grades at school have stablized, all A's & B's. She isn't classified in school, but does have a 504. She needs to have more time on tests, little things.

We have had issues at home with her finishing her homework, it takes forever. She also doesn't finish her work at school. When she comes into school without her work completed, she needs to go to lunch detention. She never has me sign the detention papers, and gets into more trouble. She has been having frequent meltdowns, where she claims she isn't melting down.

Right now my DH is on the phone with the Principal (a real A$$, he called me first on my cell for some reason, and he just had such a nasty attitude and tone). My cell was dying, so I had him call dh, now I was im'ing wtih DH during the call, so DH is handling this right now. It seems that DD needed more time to finish a test. Well she refused to leave the classroom to do so. She is now defying her teachers.

I don't know if this is her meds, her just being pre teen and defiant or is it hormones due to the onset of puberty or ????

We just started her in counseling, the second session is Saturday.
We have run out of punishments, I have yelled, spanked, no tv, no computer, no everything. The only thing we can us on her now is her SIMS game, that kinda seems to get her to do what we want.

I am holding new clothes (already bought) over her head, she can't get it until she goes through her old clothes. She wanted the new pj's, so she cleaned out her PJ draw, same thing with shirts. She wants her new skorts, but hasn't gone through that draw yet.


Now, on to DS6. He is ADHD, wow, emphasis on the H. He has been doing pretty well on Focalin, he is paying attention in school and doing very well. The problem is his behavior or his acting out when teased or not getting his way. The kids in his class (private school, new shcool for him, all the other kids(5) are good freinds), can be very very mean to him and pick on him. He lashes out and meltsdown. He tends to repeat himself over and over again (we are not sure if he has OCD), and if he thinks something should be ABC, but is done CBA, he can't cope. He says it HAS to be done the other way. We are in the process of talking to the child study team at his new school, so he can be appropriately placed, and evaluated when he starts in September.

I just don't know what to do, neither does DH. I am even more frustrated, since I already raised 2 sons (22 & 23), and never had these sorts of problems with them. They weren't perfect, but nothing like this.

And my MIL thinks they are normal, and we are over reacting, and they shouldn't be medicated. She thinks if I kept the house neat (yes, it is a mess, too much stuff), that order will help the kids. She doesn't understand why I yell so much. Side note, we were all in Philly last weekend, to go to the Tut exhibit, and DS was being his usual self at dinner, and man was I smiling to myself watching MIL loose patience with him.

Now my DH and his brother were probably ADHD too, it was diagnosed back then, and MIL is a retired NYC special ed teacher, so her reasonings are beyond me.

Ok, any advice from any other parents with these sort of issues??

BTW, I have really done my best to stop yelling. IF dd doesn't do her hw, I say, well you are the one that is going to fail not me. I do my best to explain to her, but I am not fighting with her to do her school work. And I have offered incentives. I told her last year, for every honor roll she achieved I would buy her a new American Girl Doll. It didn't work.


Any advice????

 

[MotherOf2Princesses]

My daughter is 6 and has ADHD. Attentinve and Innative, and ODD. She is on Focalin 15mg and is doing very well on it. She is in kingergarten and is an above anverage student. That makes me extremely proud of her and myself. The pride I feel for myself is due to the fact that I know I am doing the right thing by having her on meds despite all the critisms I get from others. Screw them all. Sorry but that is how I feel. It is hard enough dealing with an ADHD kid and then to get sarcasm just makes me mad.

Hang in there. I use to scream and get so mad that I would later cry becasue I lost it. I am not perfect but I am a whole lot better. I've learned that timeing is everything. I do not expect anything from DD when she does not have her meds in her, like cleaning her room. I never set goals for her or do reward charts. I know they suggest it but they do not work unless her meds are in her. I sometimes say well if you're good all week maybe we can do ????. She wanted pink crocs and same jibiz. I never told her she would ever get them, I surprised her with them last week and told her that was for doing so well in school all year. It made her very proud and feel good about herself. Alot of ADHD children have depression issues. They're in trouble a lot and have problems socializing. They need us for love and support.
Just curious but where were your children diagnosed at? I took DD to an ADHD center to get evaluated and she now sees a mental health pediatrition/psychiatrist. Most family practice Pediatritions really don't have the knowledge to diagnose and treat mental health issues.
Now I know that not all ADHD children are not the same. What works for mine may not work for yours and vis versa. But I hope I was able to give a litte bit of much needed support and perhaps some useful advice.
Its tough but hang in there. You're a Super Mom! Happy Mothers Day!

 

[tml1270]

I have a DD11 who is ADHD with the depression as well. We had him on Adderall for about a year and now he has been off for a year. Just recently we started having the same emotional problems with him that the OP is having with her DD. I did give him a choice since he is off his meds. Either he re learns to control himself or he goes back on the meds. When we first took him off he had begged and pleaded to be off them and We told him that if we were to do that he would have to learn to control himself. Don't get me wrong it was HECK the first few months but once he learned it was smooth sailing till now. OP, it looks like you are doing all the right things and working your behind off with your situation, and personally I congratulate you for how far you have come. You just need to keep at it and ignore your MIL ( trust me I know, no small task: I live right next door to mine!) but just keep doing what you're doing and maybe look into counciling for her, it worked for DD maybe theres a shot it will work for her too.

 

[lovethattink]

Keppra can affect temper and patience.